jagjag:
For your information and Incase of next time, there is nothing like people are compatible. No one is compatible with anyone, we are all different and unique in our own ways and can never people compatible. If we are compatible, there won't be need for forgiveness in marriage, compromise, patience, understanding and etc. So let's all remove the idea of compatibility. Marriage is about two different person with the capacity to forgive, understand, compromise, unlearn and learn and any other attributes to put in the effort to make a marriage work. So marriage is not about I am compatible with someone, after all, what is the yardstick you use in measuring your compatibility with some who can change in character, attitude or whatever 5 years into the marriage. The question is that as a man or woman, do you have the qualities and ready to put in the work to sustain a marriage. If not, remain single until you are ready.

I tend to agree with this.

bonnyhope:
Whatever way you want to look at it. There's always a statement of purpose for everything . If you stay in marriage because of kids, fine. If you stay because of what society will say, fine. If you stay because of poverty, good. And if you leave due to another purpose
Fine

You stay because of kids but what are you teaching these kids? That all life is worth is suffering and smiling and pretending you do it for them? How about you teach them what love is about by first loving yourself enough not to lie to yourself? They would benefit greatly from that than they would from the delusions of using them or society as reason to stay in hellish situation.

KingLennon:

I thought we were christians? Co-parenting is a NO to me. Am a victim of it! U now see it? It's like living all through your life in a lie. Both couples can do whatever they like, no that's not a home dear! And the kid aspect? I'll forgive you (◔‿◔)

See my initial point? Religion!! I am a Christian too but I always make sure I am happy in whatever I do as long as it’s not a crime whether religion favors it or not.

People are selfish and will always put their feelings first before others so why get married in the first place if we will always hurt each other’s feelings? Betray each other?
Nah, reason I said if one must have a child co-parenting is better than marriage for me, nothing speaking for everyone though.

Sorry for the kid reference, I have had an encounter with too many of them on nairaland and it’s annoying

Kobojunkiee:
You stay because of kids but what are you teaching these kids? That all life is worth is suffering and smiling and pretending you do it for them? How about you teach them what love is about by first loving yourself enough not to lie to yourself? They would benefit greatly from that than they would from the delusions of using them or society as reason to stay in hellish situation.

Like I said all the options is at your disposal

You can also decide to quit.

All depend on you

livinbygrace:
■Divorce was not high like this those days. Why Is the case of divorce on increase ,now that we have many marriage councilors/seminars or preachers ?
■I have noticed that most of these preachers/councillors sweet talks a lot,and always in favor of ladies just to increase their congregations Which is not really having any positive impact in marriages these days.

1. Don't listen to the lies. Marriage abandonment was high during the time of our ancestors. The reason it was kept low was those who were abandoned had to continue in shame , pretending they were still in marriage so society did not make examples of them. As far back as the 80s that trend was high enough that you had a significant number of your own classmates who you knew were no longer living with or supported by their fathers.

2. Focus on the topic abeg!

He named a Christian Center after David, NOT after Jesus, despite His many Names revealed in the Bible.
This generation of ministers won't stop amazing me.
Jesus called every true Christian community "My Church".
But you named your own ministry David's Church.
Continue...

BigYash:
Marriage these days is for making kids,nothing anybody wan tell me.. Love or let me say lust has an expiry date. Once it expires,the couple turns cat and rat in their homes..

Didn't your ancestors choose marriage for that same purpose too?

Gospel2Day:
He named a Christian Center after David, NOT after Jesus, despite His many Names revealed in the Bible.
This generation of ministers won't stop amazing me.
Jesus called every true Christian community "My Church".
But you named your own ministry David's Church.
Continue...

Did Jesus Christ ask anyone to build what you call Christian centers to begin with? Did Jesus Christ ask anyone to attend church services and submit themselves to pastors and mogs to begin with? Did Jesus Christ say you can even use His name for that which is not approved by Him?

Kobojunkiee:
Did Jesus Christ ask anyone to build what you call Christian centers to begin with? Did Jesus Christ ask anyone to attend church services and submit themselves to pastors and mogs to begin with? Did Jesus Christ say you can even use His name for that which is not approved by Him?

Your rash and rushed comment reveals your ignorance of the Bible.
There's no need arguing with or replying someone who obviously suffers from the arrogance of ignorance.
Read through the New Testament of the Bible three times. After doing that, return here for a civilized and informed discussion.
Shalom.

IamMobisola:

See my initial point? Religion!! I am a Christian too but I always make sure I am happy in whatever I do as long as it’s not a crime whether religion favors it or not.

People are selfish and will always put their feelings first before others so why get married in the first place if we will always hurt each other’s feelings? Betray each other?
Nah, reason I said if one must have a child co-parenting is better than marriage for me, nothing speaking for everyone though.

Sorry for the kid reference, I have had an encounter with too many of them on nairaland and it’s annoying

I get you. To me Co-parenting has always been the western world kind of thing. In our own culture, it doesn't just play out. But sadly, it's happening here these days. Marriage is for adults, mentally prepared. I don't know for others but to me before getting married you should be prepared for whatever you will see. You should marry someone compatible to you. We should both go in with the mentality that it's for better for worse. That we must make it work no matter what! Why get married when we will be hurting each other's feeling? Yea, I think we weren't ready for marriage.

Kobojunkiee:
Didn't your ancestors choose marriage for that same purpose too?

If you were wise,you will understand that the days of my ancestors and now are different.

BigYash:
If you were wise,you will understand that the days of my ancestors and now are different.

How so, you who pretend to be wise?

Gospel2Day:
Your rash and rushed comment reveals your ignorance of the Bible.
There's no need arguing with or replying someone who obviously suffers from the arrogance of ignorance.
Read through the New Testament of the Bible three times. After doing that, return here for a civilized and informed discussion.
Shalom.

Again....
■Did Jesus Christ ask anyone to build what you call Christian centers to begin with?
■Did Jesus Christ ask anyone to attend church services and submit themselves to pastors and mogs to begin with?
■Did Jesus Christ say you can even use His name for that which is not approved by Him?

xristos:
word!
I will say this forever...the first major reason for marriage is Legal Sex - which leads to raising kids (procreation)..otherwise it's needless.
everyother na secondary..- good food, help, dreams, goals, godly this and that..

some hav sex for reproduction only but have a very bad starved sex life..dat marriage no fit last

This mindset is the reason many of you can't build a good home because it has already collapsed before you even started. As far as I m concerned marriage is a beautiful thing because it's a union between two hearts that supposed to beat as one. You are meant to marry your friend and soulmate believing to build up your heaven in it to dwell together forever. At that point when you first meet and develop a thing for each other, it shouldn't be about what any of you possessed materially or what to gain materially but the beating of your hearts which will be the bedrock on which every other achievement will be built upon. If you genuinely love and care for one another in all circumstances, you will so bond together that it will be difficult for any of you to hurt each other even in secret. I know that many of you will come after me but I m talking from experience and this is the secret of my 23 years of a very blissful marriage. It's not about procreation because we agreed and only had one daughter who gives us so much joy while we still enjoy our marriage as if we just met yesterday. And if it's for sex, how do you enjoy sex with someone that you don't love or can't bond with?So be careful of what you place ahead in getting your life partner before you start generalizing marriage as something bad because for me it's the most beautiful experience.

Kobojunkiee:
How so, you who pretend to be wise?

Even a teenager can easily tell the difference between the marriages of those days and the ones full of deceit we have everywhere theses says. And that's where your foolishness comes in.. I hope you get it now?

Kobojunkiee:
1. Stop lying! It only kept women shackled while men we allowed to abandon them and even their kids after using them. Same trend you see even today.

2. This generation is a product of the mistakes of your ancestors. Think carefully of it all that way and you may begin to realize that the fire you see today was kindled from smoke raised by your ancestors.

3. So you want to pretty much return to days of marriage as a prison sentence for women , and let me guess, not for men, like your ancestors had it?.LOL...

You are so interested in creating another type of "marriage" to suit your defination of what it should be like. That is why you are having your almost 40% (and soaring)divorce rate.

Well goodluck to you.

Enjoy ur multiple marriages and multiple divorces in your lifetime

Biblical truth is eternal. However, men in their wisdom have tried to adulterate it, howbeit to their fall.

If you want to listen to sound teachings and doctrine of Christ, please subscribe and watch out for upcoming videos via this link;

https://youtube.com/@akinwandephilipokikijesu

Kobojunkiee:
Marriage has never been a scam. Instead, it is an agreement one has to enter into with eyes wide open not a brain filled with love chemicals and body high on sex hormones.

u mentioned the two things that matters as irrelevant and d one that doesn't matter as as relevant. R u high on sth?

Baddosqqi:
Once you're married to the idea and not the man then the marriage will definitely fail. What is the idea? Bright goals and Mind blowing dreams... If they fail, the marriage will crash!

Loving and standing by a man who has great ideas is fine, but if you're only loving for just that, and you are not seeing yourself in the picture of helping him make that dream come through then that is dangerous.

This comment deserves a billion 'likes'. I think its same reason most marriages fail in Nigeria.

FavouredNK:


This mindset is the reason many of you can't build a good home because it has already collapsed before you even started. As far as I m concerned marriage is a beautiful thing because it's a union between two hearts that supposed to beat as one. You are meant to marry your friend and soulmate believing to build up your heaven in it to dwell together forever. At that point when you first meet and develop a thing for each other, it shouldn't be about what any of you possessed materially or what to gain materially but the beating of your hearts which will be the bedrock on which every other achievement will be built upon. If you genuinely love and care for one another in all circumstances, you will so bond together that it will be difficult for any of you to hurt each other even in secret. I know that many of you will come after me but I m talking from experience and this is the secret of my 23 years of a very blissful marriage. It's not about procreation because we agreed and only had one daughter who gives us so much joy while we still enjoy our marriage as if we just met yesterday. And if it's for sex, how do you enjoy sex with someone that you don't love or can't bond with?So be careful of what you place ahead in getting your life partner before you start generalizing marriage as something bad because for me it's the most beautiful experience.

show me the scripture that supports your belief..and I'll show mine
all what u wrote above are reasonable and necessary but are classified as OTHERS.. it's not the aim

infogenius:
The pastor is spot on on this

A man in his sixties who still shares same home with his wife of his youth told me last year that his marriage ended more than 20 yrs ago. That his wife was just in his house because of his kids and to fill space.
They don't sleep in the same room, the man cooks his food and the woman caters for hers. It is when their kids come around that they stay together for talks.

Maybe the woman committed a very open adultery

Righteousness2:
Marriage is a great and beautiful thing .

Marriage is not a bed of roses all the time,
Marriage is not about social media hugowash.
Marriage is beyond reading motivational books or even counseling.
Marriage is way beyond six packs and big back
Marriage is way beyond having a Fat bank account.

But if you can build and tie your Home in GOD and His Word, the Holy Bible, you will be able to withstand the bumps and bullets fighting your Home.

True. Nice one. But pastor so you recognise what big back is

It is well.

Lemmy123:
Too bad many people are in a marriage they can't exit anymore no matter how abusive or mentally depraving it is...

I think the society caused it. They place a very high value on marriage that makes everyone aspire to it (especially ladies) and they tell you God hates divorce. While that may be true, how do I contend with a woman whose behaviour I can't tame and or tolerate? And vice versa....

Truth is, marriage scares me

As a married man:


Marriage is not a bed of roses

If you are looking to give up on it

There are many things that will make you give up

Even minor things

But it requires resilience to stay on

Sometimes you feel lovey dovey

Sometimes you ask why did I marry this person

But it's that resilience that keeps it going

Grass on the other side may look greener

But truly it's not

Sex in marriage is different from sex outside marriage

Marriage sex mostly requires sacrifice and unselfishness

Putting your partners pleasure before yours

But it's all good with time and better

Marriage is good

It so much teaches you patience

How to live with another person

If you are married to a partner that has empathy and human feelings

You will definitely make it

The key point is love your wife wholeheartedly and watch her respect and submit to you. You don't beg for respect, you earn it

xristos:

show me the scripture that supports your belief..and I'll show mine
all what u wrote above are reasonable and necessary but are classified as OTHERS.. it's not the aim

1 Peter 4:8, Songs of Solomon 8:6-7, 1 Thes 5:11, Hebrews 10: 24-25. Yes procreation is one of the reasons but centering marriage on procreation is the reason a lot of marriages are failing today, God gives us children and it's a good thing but if it doesn't come marriage will still be beautiful because husband and wife are the only initial and primarypartners with God in that arrangement. Children are secondary so shouldn't be the determining factor of the level of joy in that marriage. And even when we want to have them, we should be reasonable about the number because even having more than you can cater for is a sin of its own.

opalu:
Marriage is strictly between 2 FORGIVERS.
If you are not a Forgiver, then remain Single all your life.

. That's how your teaching made Osinachi the gospel musician to continue to forgive till she went down six feet. Yes one can forgive, but you must not always remain in a marriage even after forgiving. It depends on the issues at play.

Porksupplyib:


Please stop being a pagan! Which one is "God of Chosen"?
Is there a different God from the God almighty?

No mind them na so dem dey do, dem go say god of Adeboye, Olukoya, kumuyi and so on.

IamMobisola:

Yes today’s women can’t stand it that’s why divorce rate is high. Today’s men can’t also stand it, that’s why divorce rate is high. But some are still staying because of the same reasons some of the oldies stayed in their marriage.

Rita dominic got married at 36/37, do you know the names she was called before then? Do you know what she faced before then? Same as other women who got married in their late 30s or early 40s. The African society has this belief that a woman is nothing without a husband, this is one of the reasons why some women are still staying with their husbands even after series of domestic violence episodes, this is the reason why some women would rather than with the MRS title. Religion is mother reason why people are still married because it says God hates divorce. See the case of the Late singer Osinachi who suffered years of domestic abuse in the hands of her husband rather than leaving. Studies showed that over 30% of married women died in their hands of their husbands from domestic abuse. Why didn’t they leave? Religion? Society?

Same with men who face different issues in their marriages, rather than walking away from it they choose to stay. There are few cases of people who committed suicide because of issues with their spouses

Where you with the lady Osinachi in her home to know she suffered domestic violence!!!

Tunagee:


Maybe the woman committed a very open adultery

It's not connected to cheating, according to him one of his reasons was that his denied him sex several times because she didn't want to add more to the 7 children she had bore already. The denial got him bitter. Others include lack of respect and some other issues he feels cannot be reconciled.

prophetfire:
. That's how your teaching made Osinachi the gospel musician to continue to forgive till she went down six feet. Yes one can forgive, but you must not always remain in a marriage even after forgiving. It depends on the issues at play.

Yet majority of these taking the back door could have also been avoided if God and genuine love was a part of that decision from the onset. If these two were allowed to take preference from the beginning before the union was consummated, forgiveness wouldn't be so difficult and maybe just maybe occasions that demand forgiveness may not have even arisen in the first place because like I said earlier. If two people genuinely and sincerely care for each other, hurting the other will be like hurting urself even if it's in secret.

Tunagee:
This comment deserves a billion 'likes'. I think its same reason most marriages fail in Nigeria.

Yes it is please. You can't picture your self in the dream and give up on your love. Look for that movie called "Acrimony". You will understand my views better.