perdollar:
u mentioned the two things that matters as irrelevant and d one that doesn't matter as as relevant. R u high on sth?

2 things that matter? LOL... you are deceived.

Porksupplyib:
■You are so interested in creating another type of "marriage" to suit your defination of what it should be like. That is why you are having your almost 40% (and soaring)divorce rate. Well goodluck to you.
■Enjoy ur multiple marriages and multiple divorces in your lifetime

1. I am afraid I didn't create any type of marriage here. Divorce rates in that country have been as high as that since the time of your ancestors. You lot all just turned a blind eye to it all back then is what. Marriage abandonment has always been an accepted norm and many of this generation were raised in homes where one parent, fathers, in particular, would abandon their family to start another somewhere else — an informal kind of divorce but divorce nonetheless.

2. Don't pretend now that these things are new.

BigYash:
Even a teenager can easily tell the difference between the marriages of those days and the ones full of deceit we have everywhere theses says. And that's where your foolishness comes in.. I hope you get it now?

You mean because more men now more easily abandon their marriages and so also more women in tow?

FavouredNK:
■This mindset is the reason many of you can't build a good home because it has already collapsed before you even started. As far as I m concerned marriage is a beautiful thing because it's a union between two hearts that supposed to beat as one. You are meant to marry your friend and soulmate believing to build up your heaven in it to dwell together forever. At that point when you first meet and develop a thing for each other, it shouldn't be about what any of you possessed materially or what to gain materially but the beating of your hearts which will be the bedrock on which every other achievement will be built upon. If you genuinely love and care for one another in all circumstances, you will so bond together that it will be difficult for any of you to hurt each other even in secret.
■ I know that many of you will come after me but I m talking from experience and this is the secret of my 23 years of a very blissful marriage. It's not about procreation because we agreed and only had one daughter who gives us so much joy while we still enjoy our marriage as if we just met yesterday. And if it's for sex, how do you enjoy sex with someone that you don't love or can't bond with?So be careful of what you place ahead in getting your life partner before you start generalizing marriage as something bad because for me it's the most beautiful experience.

1. Those are from fantastical stories you have fed on, stories fueled by love represented by brain chemicals and sex hormones. The problem is those fade in time, then what do you have left when reality sets in? That is where marriage really should begin. Marriage is meant to be an agreement — a business partnership of sorts — between a man and woman, and love is to be defined by that agreement. Procreation is indeed secondary.

2. Nice to here! Now, if only we can hear from your other half to confirm if it has also been blissful from her point of view.

Kobojunkiee:
You mean because more men now more easily abandon their marriages and so also more women in tow?

What's this one even saying?

Baddosqqi:
Once you're married to the idea and not the man then the marriage will definitely fail. What is the idea? Bright goals and Mind blowing dreams... If they fail, the marriage will crash!

Loving and standing by a man who has great ideas is fine, but if you're only loving for just that, and you are not seeing yourself in the picture of helping him make that dream come through then that is dangerous. Such a marriage must crash.

What about loving and standing by a woman who has great ideas? Isn't that allowed in these things or are men the only ones whose dreams are worth picturing oneself in?

xristos:
show me the scripture that supports your belief..and I'll show mine. all what u wrote above are reasonable and necessary but are classified as OTHERS.. it's not the aim

Procreation was never the aim of marriage from it's beginning.

Leilami:
■One thing I have noticed is marriages are full of selfish people who hate making compromises.
The selfish person could be the man or the woman and when one of them gets tired of being the bigger person all the time or holding the fort the marriage breaks down. Sometimes the selfish person could be both genders in marriage. I wanted to get married to someone once and I realised that every decision we made was all about him. It was like he just wanted me to come into the marriage like a figurehead. You know a decoration while he favoured himself with all the plans, decision-making, etc. I knew if I married that one I will cease to exist in the marriage so I turned down his proposal.

■How can you want to marry a human like yourself with a different upbringing, needs, desires, and ideas and refuse to create a room or accommodate them? No inclusion. How about you just marry yourself? Everything was about him! him!! him!!!. The selfishness was migraine-inducing I just ran. This was someone dating him on its own was a huge compromise on my part but to make decisions together that will affect both our lives was a no-no. He just couldn't ever have things not go his way for once. I just knew if I married him I would end up resenting him so I just broke the thing off. Most people aren't ready to be married. Marriage involves sacrifice, compromise, selflessness, understanding, empathy, and putting each other first above yourselves on both parts. It takes two to tango but some are not ready to have the discussion.

1. ROFLMAO

Xcelinteriors:
The key point is love your wife wholeheartedly and watch her respect and submit to you. You don't beg for respect, you earn it

That only happens in the fairy world. Even women do not all share the same personality types and react the same to stimuli!

prophetfire:
. That's how your teaching made Osinachi the gospel musician to continue to forgive till she went down six feet. Yes one can forgive, but you must not always remain in a marriage even after forgiving. It depends on the issues at play.

ROFLMAO!


Osinachi forgot that you can forgive and also choose to run away!

Tunagee:
Where you with the lady Osinachi in her home to know she suffered domestic violence!!!

The police reports are clear that she did.

Apart from these things you mentioned, what other thing is so strong and valid to hold marriage again?

Abi, na LOVE?

Oyinbo weh dey love, how many marriages dey survive? Bare 2 out of every 10 marriages.

You see those society, kids and poverty get weight here, and if God come bless the marriage with trust, Contentment and better sex....wetin man dey find again.

FavouredNK:
■Yet majority of these taking the back door could have also been avoided if God and genuine love was a part of that decision from the onset.
■ If these two were allowed to take preference from the beginning before the union was consummated, forgiveness wouldn't be so difficult and maybe just maybe occasions that demand forgiveness may not have even arisen in the first place because like I said earlier.
■If two people genuinely and sincerely care for each other, hurting the other will be like hurting urself even if it's in secret.

■ God said your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Genesis 3 vs 16 & Luke 20 vs 34 - 36, so first, please stop dragging God's name into this. Second, how do you define "genuine love"? Are we all the same that we should all then define it the same way we do for ourselves and for others?

2. Stop lying! How does the time of consummation impact a person's ability to be in or act in a relationship? Following your insinuation here, most Churchians who claimed to possess God and genuine love shouldn't see the end of their marriages then, but sadly, the divorce rate in your religious settings mirrors that of those outside of such settings, implying that what your claims here are baseless imaginings and nothing more.

3. Sure, but humans change too.

PlanktonX:
■Apart from these things you mentioned, what other thing is so strong and valid to hold marriage again?
■Abi, na LOVE? Oyinbo weh dey love, how many marriages dey survive? Bare 2 out of every 10 marriages.

■You see those society, kids and poverty get weight here, and if God come bless the marriage with trust, Contentment and better sex....wetin man dey find again.

Mariage is an agreement between a man and a woman, meaning the agreement ought to define the love between the couple — it is not meant to be left blank as most people do.

2. You actually think love is only for oyinbos?

3. We don dey see the value of the weight wey those things carry naw... na the result we dey see for today so.

FavouredNK:


1 Peter 4:8, Songs of Solomon 8:6-7, 1 Thes 5:11, Hebrews 10: 24-25. Yes procreation is one of the reasons but centering marriage on procreation is the reason a lot of marriages are failing today, God gives us children and it's a good thing but if it doesn't come marriage will still be beautiful because husband and wife are the only initial and primarypartners with God in that arrangement. Children are secondary so shouldn't be the determining factor of the level of joy in that marriage. And even when we want to have them, we should be reasonable about the number because even having more than you can cater for is a sin of its own.

pardon me ..the scriptures u quoted are for entire believers not addressing marriage.

well..people have many interpretations on the idea and try to shy away from the truth.
it is what it is..

Read Paul's 1Cor7:8 down to 26..
verse 9 gives the truth...what a reason to get married
Same as when God made woman for the man.
like i said..all other things follow this main reason..which is fine.
.reason why marriages fail is when one partner begins to fail to perform his/er marital obligation (not sex only)..due to different sentimental reasons.

Kobojunkiee:
Procreation was never the aim of marriage from it's beginning.

i wasnt even talkin abt procreation..tho it is enshrined in the aim.
how do we multiply if we dont procreate.
Fulfilling flesh desires legally n morally(without guilt) which Will lead to procreation is the aim.

Kobojunkiee:
1. Those are from fantastical stories you have fed on, stories fueled by love represented by brain chemicals and sex hormones. The problem is those fade in time, then what do you have left when reality sets in? That is where marriage really should begin. Marriage is meant to be an agreement — a business partnership of sorts — between a man and woman, and love is to be defined by that agreement. Procreation is indeed secondary.

2. Nice to here! Now, if only we can hear from your other half to confirm if it has also been blissful from her point of view.

We do not need your validation to ascertain if our marriage is successful, enjoyable or blissful. It's us and only us in that marriage, built to our taste and our choice and it has been working beautifully for us for over 23 years now. I am not in any law court with you or anyone else for me to present my hubby as a witness for you to believe in whether what I said is true or not . It is what it is and you either believe me or believe what you like it's a free world. We are all entitled to our opinions when it comes to matters of the heart and no one can force another to think and act like the other. Whatever works for you go with it and leave me with mine as I owe you no clarifications.

Memphitz357:
Where is the lie?

the bolded

xristos:

pardon me ..the scriptures u quoted are for entire believers not addressing marriage.

well..people have many interpretations on the idea and try to shy away from the truth.
it is what it is..

Read Paul's 1Cor7:8 down to 26..
verse 9 gives the truth...what a reason to get married
Same as when God made woman for the man.
like i said..all other things follow this main reason..which is fine.
.reason why marriages fail is when one partner begins to fail to perform his/er marital obligation (not sex only)..due to different sentimental reasons.

Why then should we base it on sex and procreation alone.Moreso all of us must not be completely selfish and backwards, if we must adhere to a total obedience to the word of God concerning marriage, same Paul you so love his admonition about sex in marriage in 1cor 7 also talks so much about marriage in Eph. 5: 25-33 yet you still don't see the importance of love, affection and care in marriage. You choosed to concern urself so much with sex in marriage throwing away love and still avoiding my question " if it's possible to conveniently enjoy sex with someone you don't love or bond with?

Kobojunkiee:
1. Those are from fantastical stories you have fed on, stories fueled by love represented by brain chemicals and sex hormones. The problem is those fade in time, then what do you have left when reality sets in? That is where marriage really should begin. Marriage is meant to be an agreement — a business partnership of sorts — between a man and woman, and love is to be defined by that agreement. Procreation is indeed secondary.

2. Nice to here! Now, if only we can hear from your other half to confirm if it has also been blissful from her point of view.

This your response has also gone a long way in revealing how much of parental love you lacked in growing up hence you so demean the value of love in life generally. Love is something that infuses in you when you are the midst of it and reflects in you anywhere you find urself even without you knowing it. This is why it's very important for parents to create an atmosphere of love in their marriage to avoid raising toxic children who becomes a trait to the society and humanity.

xristos:
■i wasnt even talkin abt procreation..tho it is enshrined in the aim.
how do we multiply if we dont procreate.
■Fulfilling flesh desires legally n morally(without guilt) which Will lead to procreation is the aim.

1. There are other ways to multiply apart from procreating. Also, the same God who you claimed enshrined procreation instead said He created some Eunuchs from birth, made some Eunuch in this life, and allowed others to live as Eunuchs for the sake of His Kingdom - Matthew 19 vs 12. Clearly, God Himself doesn't agree with your belief that procreation is enshrined in marriage.
2. You can do whatever you want with your fleshly desires, but don't pretend that it has to do with God abeg! In Luke 20 vs 34 -36, following what God decreed in Genesis 3 vs 16, Jesus Christ made clear that your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God.

FavouredNK:
■We do not need your validation to ascertain if our marriage is successful, enjoyable or blissful. It's us and only us in that marriage, built to our taste and our choice and it has been working beautifully for us for over 23 years now. I am not in any law court with you or anyone else for me to present my hubby as a witness for you to believe in whether what I said is true or not . It is what it is and you either believe me or believe what you like it's a free world. We are all entitled to our opinions when it comes to matters of the heart and no one can force another to think and act like the other.
■ Whatever works for you go with it and leave me with mine as I owe you no clarifications.

1. I am not giving you validation. You told a story and I simply acknowledged receipt of your side of the tale! However, I look forward to also hearing from the other person in the partnership to conclude on the truth of your claim. That's all!

2. Na you tell story!

GeneralPula:

You don’t have to re-marry brother. Your boys are your assets and they’re enough. Be taking care of them yourself. Kids are very easy to take care of as a man. Then Instead of marriage again, what I’ll advice you to do is to;

Observe a lady. Initiate a FWB with her. Tell her you have kids and don’t tell her anything regarding taking care of your kids. Whenever the girl is around, try to always do 1 or 2 things for her face to signal her senses that you’re really taking care of your kids..

No worry. Leave the rest. She’ll be standing up herself to help you take care of them. Women loves taking care of kids, either theirs or not. The instinct is in them naturally..

Just for your peace. Make it 1 girl at a time. If she bleeps up, free her and get another..

Forget about that you’re a Christain for now and start thinking what’s best for yourself and kids..

God didn’t tell anybody to marry. Nah man sit down write it all for papers..

Hhhm! I really appreciate your swift and highly invaluable response to my case bro..God bless you immensely

Doyou2019:


Omo Ibadan
E no dey hard or too early for my people to born

Lol, was wondering how you got to know I am from Ibadan and then….. remembered my monika says it All�

FavouredNK:
■This your response has also gone a long way in revealing how much of parental love you lacked in growing up hence you so demean the value of love in life generally.
■Love is something that infuses in you when you are the midst of it and reflects in you anywhere you find urself even without you knowing it. This is why it's very important for parents to create an atmosphere of love in their marriage to avoid raising toxic children who becomes a trait to the society and humanity.

1. So, in your assessment, children raised with what you claim is much parental love can not have different measures for love at all? They are like robots who can no longer think outside of the box because of how much parental love they supposedly received growing up.

2. What you continue to describe are nothing but fantastical ideas of love — typically born of brain chemicals — and with no real substance to them. If I asked you to write down a list of things people who love would typically do, I bet you would come up with a kindergarten list of ideas as a result.

xristos:
.
it's not bad in itself..as that's one of the biblical prerequisite...what now happens if ure not getting the sex in the marriage.
ur partner may just deny u for stupid reasons.
marry person wey no dey take sex joke o..matching libido

-Thanks bro, as much as your advice appear seemingly hilarious…. I utterly concur with you.. my marriage was a sexless one . Thanks so much

infogenius:
The pastor is spot on on this

A man in his sixties who still shares same home with his wife of his youth told me last year that his marriage ended more than 20 yrs ago. That his wife was just in his house because of his kids and to fill space.
They don't sleep in the same room, the man cooks his food and the woman caters for hers. It is when their kids come around that they stay together for talks.

This is very common

xristos:
.
it's not bad in itself..as that's one of the biblical prerequisite...what now happens if ure not getting the sex in the marriage.
ur partner may just deny u for stupid reasons.
marry person wey no dey take sex joke o..matching libido

Matching libido? There is no such thing as sex hormones in humans can never be synched up. So, when the sex hormones run out on his next partner, you will also advice him to find another to marry for the sake of sex, right?

Tunagee:


Were you with the lady Osinachi in her home to know she suffered domestic violence!!!

I guess you were under the rocks when the police said when they questioned the children they gave accounts of how their father used to beat her up and also how on one account he had told the kids to also join hands in beating her.

Kobojunkiee:
1. There are other ways to multiply apart from procreating. Also, the same God who you claimed enshrined procreation instead said He created some Eunuchs from birth, made some Eunuch in this life, and allowed others to live as Eunuchs for the sake of His Kingdom - Matthew 19 vs 12. Clearly, God Himself doesn't agree with your belief that procreation is enshrined in marriage.
2. You can do whatever you want with your fleshly desires, but don't pretend that it has to do with God abeg! In Luke 20 vs 34 -36, following what God decreed in Genesis 3 vs 16, Jesus Christ made clear that your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God.

kai i salute u bros..ure one of the most controversially complicated persons existing

vickydevoka:

Madam even woman date Jesus she go still complain

I don't understand how "MANY MARRIAGES" mean "many women".
So na only woman dey dey inside marriage?

You just want to turn this into female bashing conversation & you want me, a female to join you?
Nah!

FavouredNK:


Yet majority of these taking the back door could have also been avoided if God and genuine love was a part of that decision from the onset. If these two were allowed to take preference from the beginning before the union was consummated, forgiveness wouldn't be so difficult and maybe just maybe occasions that demand forgiveness may not have even arisen in the first place because like I said earlier. If two people genuinely and sincerely care for each other, hurting the other will be like hurting urself even if it's in secret.

Right