Kobojunkie:
Stop dicking around and start using your brain.

Are you insinuating then that it makes sense when you submit your brains to hypogamy when the women is not of age?

We are not more in the generation you say yet so many of your boys continue to marry for themselves wives as dependents in even this very 2023 wey we dey live. You sure say you don catch up with reality so?

why can't someone comprehend your gibberish?

popcykaylah:

Why you dey respond to this liability of a being. If her father was responsible enough and he took good care of her she wouldn't be here looking for a man to feast on ,her level of entitlement is like a parasite. I can never date a woman with such orientation

May God reveal such liabilities to us with this mentality

Lessons123:


May God reveal such liabilities to us with this mentality

We wealthy men detest such liabilities

Raalsalghul:


I find it interesting that you've mentioned ancient times, our forefathers and whatnots.

But I'll have to ask if you are a virgin. Yes, I'm asking you that question.

Because while men were expected to be providers through and through, the women had to be sexually pure, virginal, soft, supple, feminine with no rubbish past.

So I ask again, are you a virgin?

You can't be referencing ancient times with regards to a man's responsibility and ignore that of a woman.

the earlier you get used to the reality that a woman who is not a virgin can marry a rich man,or provider,the better.i assure you a better night rest.

The brainstorming, resentment, calculation and pondering you go through just because of this "unfair arrangement " will be put to rest.

All is fair in love and in war. Learn the game,play your card well and try to get the best whilst offering little instead of becoming "sour grapes"(you should look that up) over what you can't change.

Nothing you will do about it...sadly. you deserve a closure on this issue.its been years for Christ sake..lol.

I wish pansophist preaches this reality the same way he preaches the reality of women still having to settle for broke men

Oyiboman69:
why can't someone comprehend your gibberish?

Oh, I am definitely not your problem at all.

This is the most absurd thing I have read this year.

Well a man should be able to complement a woman when he feels she needs to.

Not that you'll recline in a state of dependency, expecting the man to cater for you like you are a toddler. Grow up girl, things are no longer as it used to.

You talk about forefathers, do you know how ladies were treated then? The freedom you guys have now is light miles away from what happened then.

There's been a shift in things and people society has grown beyond such primitive thinking.

popcykaylah:

Why you dey respond to this liability of a being. If her father was responsible enough and he took good care of her she wouldn't be here looking for a man to feast on ,her level of entitlement is like a parasite. I can never date a woman with such orientation

The poster liability only needs to ask how liabilities to rich men are treated.

A relationship is not a poverty alleviation scheme. Do not become a liability to a man under the guise of "I want to be taken care of," or "I want a man who can meet all my needs."

If as a woman, you want someone that would meet all your needs, go to your parents. Even your parents will be reluctant to meet any of your needs at a certain point.

Bullythebully:

All is fair in love and in war. Learn the game,play your card well and try to get the best whilst offering little instead of becoming "sour grapes"(you should look that up) over what you can't change.

Nothing you will do about it...sadly. you deserve a closure on this issue.its been years for Christ sake..lol

Unfortunately this is true and well said: play the game, take plenty and offer little.

It's just like women accepting the fact a large number of them will marry broke men despite their standards.

Both sides have truths to accept.

DaddyFreeze2020:
Don't come and start begging for husband to marry you like that woman in Paris looking for husband to marry her and pay after your youthfulness has passed and you're aging.

Go and work and get your own money too to contribute to your family. We're not more in the generation of full time house wives waiting for their husbands to come back from work to put food on the table. Women should be up and doing like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

Only lazy men without vision and plans can be poor.
Lazy women are the ones who marry lazy men.

LOL, she has been damaged beyond repair... Sounding toxic and dangerous. If you marry this type your own don be. My question to her would be, what amount of money is enough. If you are a millionaire and marry Aisha Buhari, you can't still be able to maintain her Dubai expenses so must I be president of Nigeria before I will say I have made it? The woman don Colo sha. The real lesson is cut your coat, make sure your expenses is 1/10th of your income including the type of woman you marry. Don't marry a slay queen and expect soft landing. There are many fishes in the ocean, choose your size wisely.

EriMma1:


Do you know my age? No. So don't conclude yet.

I still maintain my stance. Don't ever be with a man that cannot meet your needs.

You are a beggar simple and short...goodluck

EriMma1:



Why should a woman be the one to meet your needs? Are women meant to til the ground? That's the man's duty from creation and even though women are now doing it. It still doesn't give a man the right to her money.

So you would agree when a man sys shut up and go to the kitchen...and stay there till you are needed...in bedroom

Lessons123:


May God reveal such liabilities to us with this mentality

Any man wey put this one for house don carry wahala put for house .. cos if you get money when you marry her and you lose your job or your business crashes .. then she go leave you for the next available rich man .. ba be type no dey ask wetin man ahe dey sleep dey do for a living.. as long as the money keeps rolling in no problems

Dohn:
Anoda one with a parasitic mindset spotted,,,,, nogo find work do.... Ur own is to b having needs dat u cant meet on ur own

Hahaha, imagine having needs you cannot meet on your own and if human beings come out, you come out too. She has been damaged

Kobojunkie:
1. What advantage?

You won't understand
I engaged a lady in one of my interview and she said she has already gotten the job but she just had to show her face.

Gerrard59:


Actually, it does. I perfectly agree with you that a man must be a provider. In fact, it is better to be dead than be alive as a man who has no money. Of what use is a man without money? I have seen the disrespect men get when they have no money from their wives, wives' family members, society and even their friends. So, the rants on the first page are ignorant of how the world works. However, as much as you want a man who works and provide, you need to bring something to the table which are your feminine values and character. I find it odd for a lady to expect the top 1% man yet she is not also a top 1% lady. It is a merger of unequals. Most men, especially traditional men since you referenced men of those days, are not interested in a woman's money. At the same time, these men need you to be chaste and have high feminine values.

But then, I can't blame young ladies who desire the top 1% yet are in the bottom 20% since the average Nigerian man lacks standards. If I was a Nigerian lady, I would do the same. Flirt around and do unimaginable things then turn around and get a rich man. Honestly, I hail una. The strategy has been working for donkey years, notwithstanding the alfa meil chants (most of whom are very poor).

I don't even want to believe that this thread has lingered for up to 16 pages because of a woman choice.
This is really unfair.

At least we see threads littered by males against non virgins,against single moms,against 30+women . But just one thread of men providing and they are triggered. Why can't they allow women to chase their dream men the way the chase their virgins?

All ladies that are viewing this,don't be shamed into believing your wants are "entitlement".

Wear your hypergamy with pride. Men vet brutally when looking for who to settle with. You have seen for yourself how they treat and sham single moms,30+ women,divorcees etc.

If you sadly fall into any category of the aforementioned then you are in peppersoup in the average Nigerian man eyes. No one will hear your story. The average man is capable of adhering to nuances.

Don't let them scare or frighten you into believing all men are average and you can't get a comfortable or rich man. This is to scare you into settling for them. Their fantasies always revolve around something bad happening to you just for your choice(being impregnanted and dumped,ending up with a rich abusing guy,or being used for ritual). And I ask,if struggling or broke guys are virtous,why are nairaland men(who are usually struggling financially) vile?

Secure your children future. Don't let your kids suffer ridicule in school because he can't buy that fancy toy their classmates have.

Don't even believe in "he has prospects" or "future" stuff. It is as good as a Christian declaring he will go to heaven in the afterlife. Vet men brutally as they vet your last brutally.

EriMma1:


Go and read your bible oga. God placed that responsibility on the man.

So far, women have been getting empowered financially and meeting their needs by themselves since the men are beginning to fall short in their responsibilities and original position. So no biggies but that does not erase the fact that a man should cater for her needs.

Continue waiting for man to cater for your need very soon 7 women will beg the same man just to answer his name, go and read your Bible.

davillian:
You won't understand I engaged a lady in one of my interview and she said she has already gotten the job but she just had to show her face.

What did she have to give up in order to get that job?

Dohn:
Anoda one with a parasitic mindset spotted,,,,, nogo find work do.... Ur own is to b having needs dat u cant meet on ur own

Since she is using the creation story from the Bible..let her look at the qualities a woman should and must have to having a man and if she can pay a man's dowry. Just cherry picking because she is absolutely lazy

Raalsalghul:


Unfortunately this is true and well said: play the game, take plenty and offer little.

It's just like women accepting the fact a large number of them will marry broke men despite their standards.

Both sides have truths to accept.

yes. And accepting that non virgins,baby mamas,30+ women whom you have for almost half a decade ran campaign against will get married.

Both men and women will settle.

Dont treacherously make women choice seem unattainable in order to quench their standards,while making men choice appear very attainable in order to ignite their choice.



That is the honesty required of you.

EriMma1:


Kobojunkie, make that your mouth bend for using such dirty words on me. Are you ok?
If not for one thing now, i go blast you here, ahu a cha gi.

Mind your mouth.

Hey woman...shut up..you are talking to a potential husband..know your place

wildikeman:



Hey woman...shut up..you are talking to a potential husband..know your place

He's not a potential husband. He's my egbon. We be cat and rat for here. Leave us.

When men say “what you bring to the table as a woman”, many of you misunderstand its meaning.

We don’t mean food or money. A real man doesn’t need his wife’s money or any other materialistic valuable.

We mean “what can you provide that will be a benefit”, other than achieving housewife duties? You as a woman can never give your husband the kind of money he envisions, so, calm down. At the end, you all will be like “after all I have done for you “, because you didn’t give whole heartedly but with expectations.

Can you bring the necessary encouragement I need when things are rough or you nag and complain?

Can you be as prayerful even when things are going smoothly and we as a couple have all the money we need?

Can you offer to help me manage a portion of my business so I don’t spend expense on an extra staff?

Can you motivate me when I’ve just had a rough day or had a deal that didn’t go through?

Can you teach my kids how to be great men and women when they grow up, even when I’m in the trenches or on a business trip?

Can you back me up with the little connections you have so we grow as a family?

I can go on and on, but, this is to just let you men and women understand.

When asking a woman what she brings to the table, don’t expect her to bring money for you to eat or feed. Additionally, as a woman don’t assume it’s a mans job to only bring to the table whilst you sit and fill up the cushions and beds in the house, eating, getting fat, and buying all the clothes and make ups in the world.

Would you be a Queen or a housewife?

Kobojunkie:
1. Your very culture, and traditional laws, reason the same way, and since most of you hold Culture high, it means you also reason pretty much like the OP does, only you don't openly admit it. So doesn't that then mean you are also psychologically wrong?

2. You think by accepting and opening admitting the truth of your culture, she is somehow worse than you lot who pretend you don't accept it yet pretty much every aspect of your lives is colored by it?

I don't even understand what you are trying to say.

Okay let me put it this way:

Don't sound like women are like some pet dogs that are helpless but need to be taken care of as if they can't make their own money to take care of themselves.

Why not rather say that men especially should be financially stable to some reasonable extent before thinking of starting a family.

Bullythebully:


I don't even want to believe that this thread has lingered for up to 16 pages because of a woman choice.
This is really unfair.

At least we see threads littered by males against non virgins,against single moms,against 30+women . But just one thread of men providing and they are triggered. Why can't they allow women to chase their dream men the way the chase their virgins?

All ladies that are viewing this,don't be shamed into believing your wants are "entitlement".

Wear your hypergamy with pride. Men vet brutally when looking for who to settle with. You have seen for yourself how they treat and sham single moms,30+ women,divorcees etc.

If you sadly fall into any category of the aforementioned then you are in peppersoup in the average Nigerian man eyes. No one will hear your story. The average man is capable of adhering to nuances.

Don't let them scare or frighten you into believing all men are average and you can't get a comfortable or rich man. This is to scare you into settling for them. Their fantasies always revolve around something bad happening to you just for your choice(being impregnanted and dumped,ending up with a rich abusing guy,or being used for ritual). And I ask,if struggling or broke guys are virtous,why are nairaland men(who are usually struggling financially) vile?

Secure your children future. Don't let your kids suffer ridicule in school because he can't buy that fancy toy their classmates have.

Don't even believe in "he has prospects" or "future" stuff. It is as good as a Christian declaring he will go to heaven in the afterlife. Vet men brutally as they vet your last brutally.

Gbam! The is the whole truth summed up in one breath, nullifying all the numerous wailings and baseless arguments throughout the pages of this post

Case closed.

This is my own contribution to this discussion going on here

Note the following:
The Nigerian economy is in shambles

Meaning that a lot of men are doomed to be economically castrated and disenfranchised no matter how hard they try
If everybody in Nigeria like; let them hustle and break back; you can only draw out what is available in the economy; which is very small compared to much more people jostling for it

Implications: Only a few percentage of men will be ahead economically in the real sense of it
Most will struggle/just floating

While the rest are screwed over.

Further implications: the vast majority of women want the top tier earners in Nigeria

The ratio is skewed against the women; because there aren't enough to go round; hence the competition become fierce.

If some standards are not adjusted; we would be headed for a situation where a lot of women who have this high standards remain single or become the side chicas
While we have a lot of dissatisfied frustrated men who turn to the "red pill" for succour


My conclusion: the society is messed up

Just reading the story of Actor Ogbebor whose wife had to call him out after losing 2/kids they had since he was financially incapable....

The MAIN job of a man is to LOOK FOR MONEY...If he fails in this one main task for his family( doesn't have to be Bill Gates), he isn't ready and not mam enough to make any home.

Women are saddled with more tasks and we still have to go out and look for money if not people will say u have no impact on a man...However, no matter how much a man loves u there are certain roles of women that he can NEVER do and if he does it, he pays through his nose.

OP is right, though women can support but with or without financial support for a man, the woman is already playing all her roles plus his, and his only role is to get money - abi men are handicaps( lol)?

Kobojunkie:
Your culture extols men to take on 100% of the financial burden in marriage. OP is merely preaching your culture to you. Why does that make her a gold digger? I don't see any one here equally disavowing your culture and traditional beliefs in the same breath.

I wonder if it's the bible that told you that men should be 100% financially responsible In their marriage, because the bible also refer to women as helpmeet, so if we have a family together and you're not helping him in one or the other then you're not doing your part as his partner. And mind you help can come in different forms, be it financially, emotionally, spiritually etc. It just depend on the one needed at that point in time.

There comes a time when a man do have some financial challenges in his life, that's when some few wise women will step-up to support their husband's b4 he can pick up again. But you see most of this girls of nowadays, they don't give a fvk about your challenges, they only want to be eating your money and enjoying your sweat, but the day you breakdown they'll run away, saying there can't cope with his current situation anymore, forgetting he has being taking care of you in the past. This girls have no conscience, always looking for already made men to feast on. That's why they hardly get married, or hardly their marriage last because of their lust for material things. Majority of them you see talking that way only see relationship/marriage as a means of escaping poverty, that's they're always after what you'll give to them.

As men we know our responsibility, but if your wife is not supportive, more especially during challenging times hmmm forget that marriage. Both couples have their role to play in the family, but if any of them defaulted they'll definitely be a problem.

Profitsystemx10:
When men say “what you bring to the table as a woman”, many of you misunderstand its meaning.

We don’t mean food or money. A real man doesn’t need his wife’s money or any other materialistic valuable.

We mean “what can you provide that will be a benefit”, other than achieving housewife duties? You as a woman can never give your husband the kind of money he envisions, so, calm down. At the end, you all will be like “after all I have done for you “, because you didn’t give whole heartedly but with expectations.

Can you bring the necessary encouragement I need when things are rough or you nag and complain?

Can you be as prayerful even when things are going smoothly and we as a couple have all the money we need?

Can you offer to help me manage a portion of my business so I don’t spend expense on an extra staff?

Can you motivate me when I’ve just had a rough day or had a deal that didn’t go through?

Can you teach my kids how to be great men and women when they grow up, even when I’m in the trenches or on a business trip?

Can you back me up with the little connections you have so we grow as a family?

I can go on and on, but, this is to just let you men and women understand.

When asking a woman what she brings to the table, don’t expect her to bring money for you to eat or feed. Additionally, as a woman don’t assume it’s a mans job to only bring to the table whilst you sit and fill up the cushions and beds in the house, eating, getting fat, and buying all the clothes and make ups in the world.

Would you be a Queen or a housewife?

When men talk about "bringing to the table," they are actually talking about shared responsibilities mostly in the area of finance. That's why you hear them calling the woman a leech, liability and all what nots. They don't understand it the way you put it here.

I hope they learn.

EriMma1:



Why should a woman be the one to meet your needs? Are women meant to til the ground? That's the man's duty from creation and even though women are now doing it. It still doesn't give a man the right to her money.

But women want equal right, right?

You are just a morally irresponsible person.

If you want equal right, you must also be ready for equal responsibility

marcopollo:
■ I don't even understand what you are trying to say. Okay let me put it this way: Don't sound like women are like some pet dogs that are helpless but need to be taken care of as if they can't make their own money to take care of themselves. Why not rather say that men especially should be financially stable to some reasonable extent before thinking of starting a family.

You just repeated Op's point of view only with a different tone.

Bullythebully:


I don't even want to believe that this thread has lingered for up to 16 pages because of a woman choice.
This is really unfair.

At least we see threads littered by males against non virgins,against single moms,against 30+women . But just one thread of men providing and they are

Wear your hypergamy with pride. Men vet brutally when looking for who to settle with. You have seen for yourself how they treat and sham single moms,30+ women,divorcees etc.

I do understand your points. I have always acknowledged that women are hypergamous. So, I'm surprised you quoted me.