ednut1:
Its not every woman person go bring abroad. Guys stop marrying all these yeye slay queens they will ruin ya life. Many 9ja babes will only respect a ready made man not the one still doing studies in uk with limited resources. Divorce her ass and get her visa cancelled.

Supported

They've come again with zobo stories just to talk down on women .

Haven't we seen men that also misbehaved after joining their wives in abroad.

The truth of the matter is knowing your partner , abroad is not for only one person.

If you enjoy your life in abroad, I will also enjoyed mine in any place I found myself.

Karlifate:
This is a case of see finish;

1. The OP has a very weak (masculine) frame.

2. The OP fell for the "I'm lonely" trap — Doesn't she have family members, trusted friends etc in Nigeria — You failed the shit test, because you should have proffered a better alternative.

3. The OP is passive-agressive & can't take decisive actions.

4. The OP has already made up his mind to continue with this situationship due to sunk cost fallacy — He's scared of losing his "investment"

5. In conclusion, no matter the advice you give him here, he won't adhere to it, until he gets burnt 🔥 in reality.


Au revoir!

Good points in all. But I disagree with no 2.

As a young chap, if he had serious misgivings about moving with his wife, then the question becomes why get married to her in the first place?

She would have still been cheating in Nigeria. Even if he delayed her coming by 5 yrs + 2 kids, nothing still stops her from being randy.

The idea of coming as a young couple is because if they work together as a team, they can push farther faster

.

Dear insultme. I don't know if you will see this write up but anyways I will drop it.
A cheating woman is a dangerous woman. Now that you know her secret once you let it out she might end up coming for your life. I will advice you to play along, gather all the evidence you need to satisfy your conscience that she is having an affair outside. Evidence I mean are very strong evidence, when presented it can't be disputed. So play along and pretend you know nothing. When it's time you pull your strings. If her present stay is still dependent you,I will advice you file for divorce and send her sorry ass back to Nigeria. May God be with you.

Insultme:


She is not aware I know anything yet.
She only complains that I feel reluctant to touch her even if she is stark naked beside me.
This is not a case of being suspicious, she planned everything before leaving the house that very day. I know the guy sef might be on this forum reading this. 😉😉

YOU MIGHT BE COMPLICATING ISSUE BY NOT SHARKING HER,
please sit down and have heart to heart talk with her and tell her what you know about her movement.
she's in a new environment. also i will advise you visit a counselor and settle the matter before it gets worse.
May God heal you home bro.

Me too

dopedan:
I dont trust any woman

kripen:

.so the one ops is saying is not red-handed, my brother till they start doing it in ops bedroom or his face before you believe.

In my tribe I don't want to be specific, when a
married woman received ordinary gift from men it is seen as adultery. If as a man you see this and kept quiet you are just playing with death.

the evidence is not weighty enough. They might not have had sex. It might just be friendship or probably a relationship. Are you telling me you can never buy an innocent gift for your married female friends? That is your married female friends are persona non grata?
I swear that I have been with a lady in a hotel room without touching her. That girl respects me till today. I have also stayed with ashana before without touching her. She even had to use cucumber on herself. We slept together in the same bed, I was really Hot that night but I never touched that woman. Like I said this is Uk he has to catch them together probably on a date with his phone out so that she can never deny. Because if Op divorces her he is the one that looses.

Insultme:


Is it not too early?
Just a year plus.
Who knows what the next one is capable or will do as well?

This your particular response makes it looks like you really don't know what you want.


Save yourself before she chase you out of the house.

You don enter one chance and your marriage is at knife edge

Insultme:
This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

Before you bring any woman abroad
Make sure she don born all pikin for you so even tho she still dey do oloshoism all around you got nothing to loose

Uptheante:

The best thing is not to even marry a slay queen in the first place.
If you marry her & leave her in Nigeria, I can assure you that so many men will drill her kpekus tirelessly while you are hustling & sweating abroad to fend for her needs.
A guy once told me how he used to Bleep a woman whose husband travelled abroad & left her in Nigeria. The guy really drilled her kpekus mercilessly while chopping part of the money her husband usually send to her.
There were times he would be bleeping her raw while she's on call with the husband. He always nuts in her womanliness but she's so good with her pills that never got pregnant except on one occasion that she aborted for him.
Never ever trust any woman bro

Wtf that surely happens..ave bang some gals while on fone with their boyfriend

Na there i know say females are never to be teusted

BEST ADVICE 💯

Robinson155:



Don’t be the next victim
Look for one excuse
Bring her back home
Give her one excuse and file a divorce petition
Japa leave her

Or look for someone
And file a divorce petition


Did same thing

Eazzii:
Insultme, this is a good advice.
Don't let her know. Also, try not to sex her.

Na so paternity fraud take dey occur.

Make una try to dey reduce una investments for relationships so that una go fit dey let go easily.

hmmmmmm

Insultme:


😂😂.

It's just funny you know.
I believe you don't understand what is called marriage.
Also, there is no where in my post I am defending her, cause if i want to defend her, I won't be here in the first place.
Am worries are what have listed above. If you don't have any solution to all have mentioned above, when it gets to your turn. Play break your son head. Your comment shows your age. And I don't think you understand what they call Mental Health abroad.

People who can't keep a steady girlfriend are advising a married man how to keep his marriage

Insultme:


Is it not too early?
Just a year plus.
Who knows what the next one is capable or will do as well?

don't divorce her.
you brought a single women in her 20s presumed to be beautiful in UK, a free world where women's rights are elevated.
Try and give her good sex.
Allow her to socialize.
She will calm down after childbirth.
At least make her a baby mama before thinking of divorce.

.

jedisco:


Good points in all. But I disagree with no 2.

As a young chap, if he had serious misgivings about moving with his wife, then the question becomes why get married to her in the first place?

She would have still been cheating in Nigeria. Even if he delayed her coming by 5 yrs + 2 kids, nothing still stops her from being randy.

The idea of coming as a young couple is because if they work together as a team, they can push farther faster

Yeah, right.

Possibly, the OP is not a very good judge of character (because he's also found wanting, himself).

I thought they said care work is strenuous s over there. And has all this time to roam about.

Candid advise let her know what you found out and you need to resolve this as a couple sit her down and talk.

I also feel you both need to build a home not talking about separate finances and all.

Sit as a couple come up with a budget and let her contribute towards the home too no matter how little.

The both of you need to be more accountable
Financially, nothing is bad from shopping from a high-end store it can be maybe a dress once a month just set good boundaries so that no one overspend and leave the necessary things behind.

I think she is an outdoor person try and come up with outdoor activities with her can be once a month to build bond.(e.g date night, game night)

After all this if she still dey waka about please divorce her and move.

Something tells me the marriage wasn't built on solid foundations and boundaries.

Guest911:

This OP still considers someone that lies to his face and spends frivolously an investment.

What value does the girls adds to his life??


@Insultme I know you don't have sense, but before you start getting yourself deeper into this mess. Leave this woman because When children enter it's going to be a whole other situation.

Your woman does not respect you. You need to go for counseling. So you can get the kind of woman that loves you, adore and respect you.

You seem like a nice guy. You're being manipulated. unfortunately, that's what happens to nice guys.

Insultme:
This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

My advice is try bring her back to Nigeria, but of u should come like for a visit but before then inform ur people about all that is happening also make sure u av ur evidence wth u , don't let her know ur plan just play along wth her, when u guys get to Nigeria try to collect her visa from her like u are helping her to keep it , when u guys get to Nigeria when all the family members are sitting release the bomb of all are doings then u can end the marriage and move on wth ur life .

Insultme:
Now I don't feel like having sex with her.

I always think about how someone can leave his husband and go to a man's house cause of 3 bags.

Some are saying it is too early to divorce her.

Some are saying I should forgive and let her swear that she won't do such thing again.

Some are saying I should think of how much have spent in total and not allow the devil to push me to take irrational decision.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

Bros, pls for your mental and emotional health and stability, just plan and move out and move on.
I believe you are still very young (Mid 30s) and you have bring future as well prospects ahead of you.
So kindly pls leave her and leave out because she'll never change. And there's nothing you can do about except to fall in a deeper mess if you try correcting or fixing anything with her.
1.play along gently, save money between now and 3 months to relocate yourself.
2. After everything is set, call her people, if possible travel with her home esp this Easter (if would be an easier way to get her home). With evidences, hand het over to her people.
3. They'll plead and beg with everything oo but once you have showed them every evidence you have any handed her over, stand up and leave immediately because by the time they finish begging you, you fit go carry your nightmares back to your life.
4. While gathering your evidences and planning on your relocation, Chat with old friends or school mates especially females so as to ease that pain but try not to get attached (it would help you alot).

Brother, you are too responsible and disciplined to the treated and tourted like this by a woman.

Pls resist all urgent to show you know what's going, don't give her a single clue to what you are up to.
Some of those souls (women) are wicked and possessed.
Thank you

It appears you do not know this person well before marriage.This type of person can never be faithful to one partner.
Good a thing you discover early and I would say that you take the exit option from the marriage before further damage.

It is well… 😢😒

Insultme:


Thanks for the advise.
You're all going to hear the end of the story when the time comes.

@op, its a tricky one being married and I understand your cold feet.

Truth is that people hardly change. She's cheating for frivolities and likely to continue which would only bring you more pain. She earns more than enough to cover her reasonable expenditure.

If she is not pregnant yet, avoid getting her pregnant until you've made your mind up.

My take would be this lady is unlikely to change and it's best and easier to part ways now than 10yrs in. All you'd lose now is the heartbreak. You don’t have a house to give up or child support to pay which would likely be the case 10yrs in.

The ultimate decision lies with you- split or try to resolve your rship.
How you go about confronting her needs to be looked thru.

P.s. did she show signs of materialism or infidelity when you guys dated?

Insultme:
This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

If you want to live long leave that Delilah now. Before e over you. I fear who nor fear Nigeria women in UK.

I have uk 🇬🇧 experience wella, affair like this will enter her head , she will become rude and disrespectful, she will / or can call police on you , she can kick you out , even if you are the one payin house rent .. uk don’t play with women .. so my guy be careful , save for your self , don’t spend on her , have a plan B . I can tell you more than 10 real stories like this … after helping them to uk … they must a change and bite the finger that feed them… pls have a plan B . Also save money pls…

Insultme:


So I should stay single cause someone cheat on me? Let me ask you a question. Even if you're so rich like that of Dangote, can you live your life alone? So in the case I neva born, so I should do what please?

Omo you be small pikin? Must you marry before you born pikin, what is wrong with you. Men dey give you better advice you still dey form strong head, if you knew you weren't going to heed to any advice then why post this gist. Omo no make me vex oh I no dey like men when dey behave like odoyo. Behind dey find girl back home, no promise any girl marriage or say you go take them abroad, whenever you return give am belly and dey support from abroad.

Hmmmm....interesting!
I keep telling folks that marriage is not a solution to curb bad behaviour!
What she is doing currently in a foreign land isn't different from what she did back in naija and marriage wasn't going to impede her excesses....infact,she would likely increase in her attitude and character!
For the OP's wife,I say shame on you!
'One whose palm kernels have been broken by a benevolent spirit must not forget to be humble'
Someone was benevolent enough to use his hard earned money to process your 'Japa' from this confused and direction-less country to UK and even arranged a decent paying job for you yet you misused such opportunity and continued with your reckless lifestyle!
Tomorrow when things don't work out for you or guys whom you fancy disappoint you,you will be the first to chorus 'All men are the same or dogs' and after years you queue up every December to either watch shiloh or attend!
OP your wife is gone....Just cut your losses,divorce her immediately and concentrate on what you came to UK for!
Its well!

Insultme:
This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

Baba. Use style talk to her. Tell her u have an emergency in Nigeria which ur parents request 2 of you to come to naija. Once she lands on naija. Collect the passport and japa back to UK and divorce her straight up.

Bitch she is

EJEHSON:
Bro, I've read carefully through your write-up. Your wife is not someone who will cooperate with you in future. She's still explaining stuff to you now because she's yet to find her feet in UK. Wait make she get her ground well, you go see shege. Before you take your woman abroad, study and know what she's capable of doing first if not all your efforts will eventually end in premium tears.
Am in a state of confusion right now because am preparing to travel as well. My wife is very faithful and she's not the cheating type but I'm afraid Because she can be rude and arrogant most times. Am afraid she might use the advantages over there against me.
So she might remain here with my kids while I hustle there and bring home.
As for your wife. Pet her small small, tell her you guys should come for few weeks holiday in Nigeria. As soon as you guys enter, deceive her and make sure you collect the money she has, try to get hold of the passport as well and move back alone. You can divorce her if you like but don't take her there again.

If you see yourself living abroad for a longtime, then the earlier you plan towards getting your family over the better. Except you want to have another family over there.

P.s. it's futile trying to just seize her passport. There are cleaner ways of going about it