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Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by franchasofficia: 4:21pm On Apr 02, 2023
[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]As a married man with 4 year old successful marriage, I would advice single men to take note of the following before going into marriage:


1.) Marry a mature lady not babies below 25yrs


2.) Marry your friend not just your lover


3.) Make sure you have a steady means of earning legitimate income before you marry. It could be a job, a thriving or promising business or trade, just make sure you have a sustainable job or a promising business or trade with office or shop before you go into marriage.


4.) Have it at the back of your mind that the number one thing that have the greatest potential of destroying your marriage is lack of money, followed by careless cheating.


5.) Expect lots of financial responsibility, so make sure you have the traditional man's mindset to be the sole provider for your wife and kids and family as a whole, don't expect much financial contributions from your wife. Pray to God for this and God will give you the finance to remain in charge of your family and marriage, God answers honest prayers like this more than ever.



6.) Expect less from your wife financially whether she is working, rich or not, just take your eyes off whatever money your wife makes or has and work for your own money and be ready to foot your family's bills 100% without fear or murmuring, this is one sure way to protect your marriage and be in total control.



7.) Don't marry a jobless lady, don't marry a lady without prospect. Even if she is jobless during your courtship, make sure you assist her start something before you marry her.


Being broke, jobless and idle is a sign of laziness don't listen to any excuse, a productive lady will definitely find a way to start something to earn some money while single. Avoid lazy, entitled ladies, they are not meant to be married unless as second wives to rich old men or old widowers and old moneybags, avoid them as a single man



8.) The family background of the girl you want to marry is important, don't do city marriage, find time and know who her parents, siblings, cousins and uncles are if possible, know her root before you marry ghost.


9.) Learn to speak less as a man in your marriage. Learn not to argue with your wife. Listen more, sometimes my wife wonders if I am a deaf and dumb cos I can listen to her gist me about several things without contributing much until she makes jest of me that I too like ameebo then I can contribute or tell her to gist more that she knows I enjoy listening to stories na grin



10.) Be ready to take care of your kids not just financially but in helping to bath them, dress them, change their diapers, etc. Despite the fact that we have helps and Nannies, I still bath my kids once in a while, I still change their diapers myself, I dress them myself, I play a lot with them and they have a permanent car seat installed in all my cars cos I love carrying them about whenever necessary.





To the ladies, learn to respect your man and also avoid cheating on your husband, these two things are the two major sins a typical Nigerian man will never forgive his wife for.

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Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by 1Sharon(f): 4:22pm On Apr 02, 2023
Newnas:

According to you, money is the factor that makes marriage thrive.

If it's true, then folks like Jenifa shouldn't have broken marriages because money isn't their problem.

Your comment only shows you're wallowing in abject poverty. Your poverty is not only physical again but it's already mental and psychological. People like you will do absolutely anything for money. People like you will neglect family, values and friendship for money. Money is the deity you worship.

You need reorientation.

Jenifa had money. Her husband did not.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Nobody: 4:23pm On Apr 02, 2023
BigYash:
Already undecided Are you still planning to add more? Just die that thought .. Give those five the best life on earth.. No go dey jonz
My husband and I love kids and we’ve agreed to add more two.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Fatbam003: 4:24pm On Apr 02, 2023
Marriage is spiritual. There is a battle for it not to stand. So prayer above everything

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Nobody: 4:25pm On Apr 02, 2023
Irupetepete:
abi werey un se werey eleyi ni?
Who dash monkey banana?
Today alone, have seen your comments in about seven frontpage topics...
Abi to comment dey give u orgasm ni?
Gbenusoun jare, see these kids talk anyhow on this forum. What are you even doing here in the first place?
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Whatitis: 4:26pm On Apr 02, 2023
There is only one recipe to a successful marriage: commitment, that's all.

The essence of the vows and certificate before getting hitched is commitment, nothing else.

Love is relative and means different things to different people.

You can't quantify love, but where there is commitment, respect comes in and therefrom affection emerges.

Where two agree to be committed to a thing, impossibilities cease to exist.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by ebenholer2(m): 4:26pm On Apr 02, 2023
BluntTheApostle:



How did you come about this knowledge? Did you carry out a research or did you read the results of studies on marriages




How do you prepare for the future? Is there a certain way you prepare against unforseen circumstances? Remember that in your first paragraph, you asked someone not to generalize a situation. But that is exactly what you have done in this paragraph of yours. You have assumed that anyone who has planned well for marriage would automatically have a thriving marriage.







Yet again, you contradict your first paragraph. China is not Nigeria. Realities are different. It is actually much easier for the average Chinese man to acquire an apartment before marriage. Perhaps, you don't know, but the average Chinese has a better standard of living than people from many of the Western nations, including the Americans. In Nigeria, a man who manages to get into a public university does not even know when he would finish. And even when he manages to finish, the competition in the labour market is so high that he might have to start contemplating a master's. In a country with little regards for education, he has to pay through his nose to get through his master's program. Despite the subsidy in education, I know how much I spent on seminars and mini projects to finish a master's at OAU. And that was after a 7-year BSc program (instead of 4 years).







If that is the case, why are billionaires divorcing as well? Dangote has divorced three times. Dino Melaye may not be a billionaire, but he is loaded. Yet, he has been married twice. FFK has been married four times. Oyakhilome divorced his wife. Pastor Chris married twice.


Even the China that you mention, divorce rate was so high until the government introduced a cooling off law that made divorce processes difficulty. Now, divorce rate has dropped, but guess what, the rate of marriages have also dropped. People are avoiding marriage in China.






The only thing I can say is that you are lucky. Only a few people are lucky to find a truly compatible partner. In fact, the rates of divorce around the world (there is data for this) shows that many are unlucky in their marriages. And I am sure there may be those who did far more research than you did before agreeing to marry their spouse.





Do you have figures for this claim?





While this advice is great, it doesn't guarantee anyone a thriving marriage. Even if your wife has a job, handiwork or education, if she lacks foresight, it would be a waste. And even foresight itself is still not enough without some bit of luck.






Again, how did you know many homes are enjoying their marriages? You have yet contradicted your Paragraph 1.



The fact that you are enjoying your marriage does not automatically mean that MANY are enjoying theirs.



Remember that divorce rate does not even tell the whole story. There may be people who are unhappy in their marriages but are staying because of the children or because of the culture of shaming divorced women.

YOU HAVE REALLY ADDRESSED HIS PERSPECTIVES TO A REASONABLE EXTENT...BUT WE NEED TO BE CAREFUL THE CHOICE OF WORD 'MANY'...COS IT INDICATES A 'SIGNIFICANT' AMOUNT OF SOMETHING WHILE 'SOME' INDICATES 'INSIGNIFICANT ' AMOUNT.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by vickydevoka(m): 4:26pm On Apr 02, 2023
silvoclaira:
hmmm there's a lot going on in marriages.



Money money money money money
Marriage easy if you cut your coat according to your size. Imagine earning 70k Putin your kid in private school. Omo even me my papa no poor go FGC. My sis put her kids in public school n she was following up.
Pikin way go blow go blow. Most times na to do according to your earnings

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Raxxye(m): 4:28pm On Apr 02, 2023
I'm not really enjoying mine; this is the third year of marriage.
I think I was happier when I was single!

Ps: No kids yet.

1 Like

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by vickydevoka(m): 4:28pm On Apr 02, 2023
ibechris:



I totally disagree with u.

Don't use your situation to think others are passing through the same thing u are going through. In fact, the problem with most Nigerians is that,during courtships,most intending couples don't discuss matters that are of concern to their future.

They often don't prepare for the future and that is why,many are in dire need of financial and moral uplifting in their marriage.

In China,an average Chinese don't ever talk about marriage except they are able to acquire an apartment where he and his wife would live,but here in Nigeria,immediately a guy makes 5million naira he runs to marry and spend virtually all that he had acquired just to impress everyone.

That is why u see most marriage crashing on a daily basis.

Another reason is,most men marry liabilities and come back to regret ever making that mistake. I am not perfect,but I remembered asking my wife her financial role if we get married and what we would be investing our money into as time goes on. I also remembered,she once told me,that she would like me to take charge of whatever investment we shall be putting our money in since I was more versed in investment than her.

We discuss a lot that i can't say here.

Many intended couples invest so much time in preparing for wedding than preparing for marriage and the future ahead.

Lastly, before u prepare for marriage,sit down with ur wife to be,discuss money matters with her,don't marry a man or a woman who has no job,no hand work or education. If he or her parents are not rich,pls be careful. Some may be lucky while others may not be.

Note: many homes are enjoying their marriages and I am one of them,with this,i think I have made my points

Good luck.
No be lie

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by BTGbenga: 4:30pm On Apr 02, 2023
Honestly, you need so much emotional stability and maturity to handle any partner. Marriage is deep. There is a price for peace in marriage and you must be the one to decide that by all means you will give this to your marriage.
Many things may happen, you can even be lied against, but take the path of peace. You will come out as a respected champion and everyone will flourish.
Never discuss your stories with people, discuss with God and learn to forgive even before thing happen.
Never plan to win arguments in a marriage but forgive and be flexible as to let the best idea be adopted. Take some time off to see new things together. Never neglect your two foods (am sure you understand me)
Your home will surely stand..[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]

1 Like

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by xynerise: 4:30pm On Apr 02, 2023
Zonefree:
Any man under the age of 45 coming here to say he's enjoying a thriving marriage with his Nigerian wife is telling a big fat lie!
Speak for the men in your family

2 Likes

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by xynerise: 4:31pm On Apr 02, 2023
If you are not spiritual in your marriage then you will join the bandwagon of lamenters.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by BigYash: 4:33pm On Apr 02, 2023
IyaebeTheGreat:
My husband and I love kids and we’ve agreed to add more two.
Wonderful couple you are .. You no dey pity ya body atrall ? My husband and I shocked So na my wife and I come hate kids,abi undecided Well quantinue ooo..
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by gannod(m): 4:33pm On Apr 02, 2023
I want to return all glory to God for the wonderful woman he gave me. We did not really court but I guess she was Godsent. We have been married for over 12 years and we intend to keep it that way till death do us apart. Personally, I believe once you are married, you stay married irrespective of the challenges you face in the marriage. This has really helped my marriage.

3 Likes

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by TheBlackSaint(m): 4:33pm On Apr 02, 2023
Maturity is the key to a successful marriage. If you’re both mature, love will grow. Also, I live by the maxim: Do on to others as you would be done by. I apply this to all my relationships but especially with my wife. As an example I wouldn’t speak to her rudely since I don’t like to be spoken to that way. In addition let your wife (spouse) be able to express herself no matter what. As for husbands my advice is that you are principled/consistent but your objective should not be about winning an argument or having the last word. When you have a disagreement say what you have to say truthfully but compassionately and leave it at that, it may not appear so, but she will later reflect on what you have said. We also have formal bible study and prayer together at least 3 days a week, and we almost daily discuss informally about bible passages/topics and sometimes we suddenly realize that we have been talking about the Bible for over an hour. These moments are refreshing and very precious to us.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Nickymichy(m): 4:34pm On Apr 02, 2023
To the glory of God i am enjoying my marriage. My wife is a full house wife. Though no be say she want be full house wife but she never get work since we've been married. I provide everything in The house. My income no too gallant like that but i dey move the house as God dey help me. Saving money dey hard due to meeting up with the family needs. But i believe things will change fee or better soon. As for my wife, she is the best thing that can ever happened to a man. Considerate, not demanding, hardworking, i must say she is everything. With her help, my kids are doing wonderfully well in their academics. When am not at home, i know i have a capable hands to make things happen and also she a good cook. If money fit dey Wella, e go sweet pass like this..e get some things wey i for like do wey money dey fall person hand..just like what someone said, having a good woman is the best gift for your children...may God bless every homes.. amen

8 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by ogmask: 4:36pm On Apr 02, 2023
[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]

Nothing like a thriving marriage. Every marriage Na patch up. Just Create an understanding atmosphere where one person must play the fool. most times the woman plays the fool. Marriage isn't a bed of Roses. It is a billing and quarrel octagon.

2 Likes

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by donogaga(m): 4:36pm On Apr 02, 2023
Zonefree:
Any man under the age of 45 coming here to say he's enjoying a thriving marriage with his Nigerian wife is telling a big fat lie!

Hahahahhahaha

Wahala no dey finish o.

Are you telling me Nigerian wives are not helping matters or what?

Throw more light.

1 Like

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Nobody: 4:36pm On Apr 02, 2023
What if he has the resources to take care of them? Children are gifts from God and I see no big deal there
BigYash:
Wonderful couple you are .. You no dey pity ya body atrall ? My husband and I shocked So na my wife and I come hate kids,abi undecided Well quantinue ooo..
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Flakky26(f): 4:38pm On Apr 02, 2023
It is possible to be married and have heaven on earth marriage ,you need wisdom ,knowledge etc . Join happy couples Christian group for the married for daily wisdom tips for happy marriage and a platform to network ,discuss and interact with other Christian couples click
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Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by KanuSE: 4:39pm On Apr 02, 2023
silvoclaira:
hmmm there's a lot going on in marriages.



Money money money money money

If the marriage is built on money money money, I'm afraid the breakup is still doing makeup - it's just a matter of time.

1 Like

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Ademola121(m): 4:39pm On Apr 02, 2023
The good story that married couples don't tell the world is why singles are afraid without hope.

What makes the body stand is when some muscles relax while some muscles are flexed.

The same applies to everything working well. The motor car moves because the pistons in the engine go up and down.

This analogy is also true for successful marriages. What makes a marriage successful is not the ups and downs because there will always be good and bad times, but the continued journey in happiness and balanced mental health. The ability to quickly fail forward and forgive short givens is key. Those couples who can fight and make up the next minute are the most matured.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Kobojunkie: 4:41pm On Apr 02, 2023
1Sharon:
■ You're not even married abeg keep quiet. Noise maker
1. How do you know this for a fact abeg? undecided
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Owodiran1(m): 4:44pm On Apr 02, 2023
.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by okrikaboi: 4:44pm On Apr 02, 2023
Nobody fit share thriving Marriage story? grin
Go mgtow
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by chaloskyx: 4:45pm On Apr 02, 2023
Money = respect no money = disrespect so don't get married if you are broke or struggling the only thing women respect is money

3 Likes

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Owodiran1(m): 4:46pm On Apr 02, 2023
fight when it's time to fight. Settle when it's time to settle, tolerate when is tike to tolerate. Over look when it's time to over look...... Worst come to worst.... Leave when it's time to leave............ IT TAKES MORE THAN 2 TO TANGO AT TIMES [quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by jidemojola(m): 4:46pm On Apr 02, 2023
Honestly,mine is like living with my friend and sister.A decade and half,still sweeter than honey.
Trust and no third party interference has been the key.
Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Socratiz: 4:47pm On Apr 02, 2023
It is interesting that young people these days see marriage in a different light from thebolder generation.

Many see marriage as a transactional relationship from which they can disengage for any flimsy reason. So the foundation is already insecure and when th slightest breeze blows, they step out of the relationship.

Some (especially some ladies) see marriage as a way to escape from poverty so they look for a guy with a fat account. If, for any reason the money disappears, the ladies opt out, in search of another guy.


It is even worse for young people who cannot take care of themselves getting married. I wonder the type of family they want to build.

I cannot enumerate the number of reasons people marry these day.

However, there are marriages that stand the test and stress of time. Let me add that the fact you have not seen a godly, happy and wonderful marriage does not mean they don't exist. It's just that bad news fly faster and people are more interested in reading news of failure.

To have a happy marriage, both parties need to prepare their minds that they will make the necessary sacrifices to stay married.

It's like when you get into the university. You make up you mind that whatever any lecturer does, you won't abandon your studies. Even if you finish with two Fs in a course, you resit th papers and continue.

Let me add that when you have to confront an issue which you don't know how to handle, it's best to consult a professional counsellor.

I say this from experience, having been married for over thirty years

6 Likes

Re: Couples With Thriving Marriages, Please Share Your Story by Mustoph1(m): 4:49pm On Apr 02, 2023
[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]

Just pray for your own woman bro. Got married late though and I am enjoying it

1 Like

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