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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back (13476 Views)
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Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 12:02pm On May 09, 2023 |
I have a male kid that is about 3 years old and I recently observed that a particular kid in the compound that is 2 months older than him always attempt to bully him at sight. The few times this have happened in my presence, I restrained my son from retaliating cos the boy in question is autistic. Though my wife also informed me, there was a day my son fought back and the boy stopped his bullying attempt for a while afterwards. This morning my son was about to leave for school. Immediately he came out of the apartment, the boy ran towards him and hit him. Once more, I stopped my son from hitting him back but this time his mum (my neighbour) experienced the scenario and only made a remark to the boy to stop looking for trouble. I felt she made the remark just to create an impression that she was concerned. I've been feeling so uneasy about this since morning and this is obviously a bullying case and I'm subtly training my kid to tolerate it. Hence, I've concluded that the next time such will happen, I will ask my boy to fight back. Just to have your opinion on this matter, is fighting back the best approach in this situation putting into consideration the health condition of the bully ? 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Nobody: 12:07pm On May 09, 2023 |
Allow your son to defend himself please. I'll so teach my future kids how to defend themselves against any form of bully. Anyways they'll naturally take after me. 130 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by VeryWickedPrick: 12:36pm On May 09, 2023 |
Very important at that age if you don't want to raise a Simple Gaybriel son like Doyin Okupe did. Here's how it works: Scenario A Bully slaps boy Boy cries Boy looks around for parents Boy is alone Boy is scared 😢 Boy submits Boy begins to do only as told by strangers Boy is gone Scenario B Bully slaps boy Boy cries Boy looks around for parents Boy is alone Boy retaliates Bully is shocked 😳 Bully hesitates Boy understands that his response stops the beating Bully understands that he can also be at the receiving end Awkward pause Awkward pause again Boy is now a man The End ................................................................................................ Make sure it is the boy who does this on his own. Never beat up his peers for him otherwise he will become reliant on others to solve his problems. Better for your kid to be the bully at adolescence which can be corrected at teenage than to be the submissive. 210 Likes 13 Shares
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Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Foodqueen(f): 12:39pm On May 09, 2023 |
When u are alone with your son, tell him to fight back. When u see the scene play out, just tell your son to stop it. Then take him inside. Problem solve. All these other people don't get it till u tell your child to react. 41 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Tallesty1(m): 12:51pm On May 09, 2023 |
Why are you restraining your son? 47 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 12:57pm On May 09, 2023 |
Foodqueen: Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this 5 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 12:58pm On May 09, 2023 |
Tallesty1: My major concerns here is the bully's health. The guy is autistic. Can barely move perfectly but very troublesome 12 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 12:59pm On May 09, 2023 |
IyaebeTheGreat: Thanks 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Kobojunkie: 1:36pm On May 09, 2023 |
victorVIC1:Violence is never the right answer as far as bullying. Also, since the boy in question is autistic, it wouldn't be right to ask your son to beat him up. You should talk to the boy's mother about the problem so she realizes that you are not at all happy with the situation and if necessary, keep your kid away from him if that is what it takes. At the same time, you should begin teaching your kid what to do when bullied since he is already exposed to it this early in life and might be wondering why his own folks aren't fighting the "enemy" for him. Equally, take time to teach your kid all you can about autism so he maybe better understand such kids, and why the kid next door keeps being mean to him. At least that way he grows with a strong self-esteem instead of thinking he is hated by the neighbor's kid. 37 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Mindlog: 2:00pm On May 09, 2023 |
Was he actually clinically diagnosed to be autistic or his parents are just using autism as a cover up?🤔 7 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by ahnie: 2:35pm On May 09, 2023 |
I have coached my kids how to always deal with bullies. Always fight back,the child no get 2 heads. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Kasdat5(m): 2:56pm On May 09, 2023 |
If I were you , I'd give my son a pocket 🗡 or a small bottle . Forget what you have been thought , sometimes violence is the solution . 14 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by zed7: 2:58pm On May 09, 2023 |
You want a 3 year old to learn how to fight? You said the kid is autistic, so you should know better that he doesn't exactly know what he's doing. My advice is to talk to the mum about her son and tell her to learn to restrain him. Explain to your son that the other boy is just trying to be friendly and that's his own way of expressing friendship. Hopefully, the mother will take heed and this will all go away. That 'bully' is going through a lot as it is. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by sisisioge: 3:06pm On May 09, 2023 |
Na to fight back o.infact, my son is joining a karate club in anticipation of any nonsense bully. Let him scatter ground first, when they call me I will answer. I understand that the boy is autistic and probably trying to say hello, but it is the responsibility of his parents to teach him a better way of saying his hello. I cant shout biko. 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Kobojunkie: 3:14pm On May 09, 2023 |
Mindlog:Because the kid picks on other kids? We used to have an autistic kid back when I was a kid, who would bully kids as they walked past his compound. He was always drooling so kids automagically ran away from him as he came running at them. I eventually had to bark back at him to cause him to stop doing that but he was definitely autistic. |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 3:17pm On May 09, 2023 |
Mindlog: His situation was medically confirmed. It's also obvious from his physical movements. Plus he has speech impairment 3 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 3:19pm On May 09, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: The kid acts same way. I literally have to double check he's not hanging around when reversing cos he's just all over the place. Unfortunately, his mum is not supervising him closely |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Mindlog: 3:22pm On May 09, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Ok because I have worked with some kids with conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) whose parents insisted they were autistic to rationalize their behaviour but when the assessments came back, they weren't. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Kobojunkie: 3:23pm On May 09, 2023 |
victorVIC1:1. Such kids are hard to keep in check or even educate but not impossible to do. That is why it is essential that parents who have them put in the right schools as early as possible in order to get them started early. The parents probably have a hard time keeping up with them which is why I think kids around need education in order not to take their behavior personally and also to try to avoid violent confrontations with them as much as possible. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Kobojunkie: 3:25pm On May 09, 2023 |
Mindlog:Parents actually wish such wickedness on their kids? Na insanity be that abeg! I grew up knowing at least 2 autistic kids with whom I had a direct conflict off and on. They were very loud, and to some extent violent. No adult had to inform me those two were autistic at all. I pitied their condition since they each couldn't speak, but there was not much I could do since I didn't understand them. |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 3:29pm On May 09, 2023 |
zed7: I will engage his mum on this and also try as much as possible to keep my son away from him. if the situation persists, I would leave my son to defend himself cos this kind of situation pushes kids to lose their defence mechanism if not properly managed 4 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Mindlog: 3:30pm On May 09, 2023 |
victorVIC1: His parents needs to get him professional intervention as soon as possible such as a Certified Autism Specialist, who would help them better manage him. |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 3:34pm On May 09, 2023 |
Mindlog: I concur. I guess the financial cost implications of incurring such services scare some parents away. |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by GloriousGbola: 3:46pm On May 09, 2023 |
ahnie: They have to know how to fight first though. 1 Like |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by ahnie: 3:48pm On May 09, 2023 |
GloriousGbola:Omo I was over bullied when I was a kid,down to my teenage years. My kids knows how to fight now,if you cross their patience limits. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Mindlog: 4:11pm On May 09, 2023 |
victorVIC1: Yes, it is not easily affordable. Maybe they can look into health insurance covers that could help with the costs. |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by victorVIC1(m): 4:12pm On May 09, 2023 |
Mindlog: Good suggestion. Will share this information with my wife. Perhaps she can fuse it into one of their discussions as she is closer to the boy's mom |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by Mindlog: 4:19pm On May 09, 2023 |
victorVIC1: That would be nice. Managing a child who is autistic is not at all easy on their parents as they are usually overwhelmed, only just studying and doing assignments on autism in school can spin your head, not to talk of living with an autistic child! 1 Like |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by descarado: 4:46pm On May 09, 2023 |
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Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by descarado: 4:50pm On May 09, 2023 |
Mindlog:Autistic children are very smart and intelligent. We simply don't know their general or individual triggers. All autistics hate noise. It drives them wild. Maybe, that boy is noisy around him. They hardly look for trouble unless triggered. 3 Likes |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by sisisioge: 4:52pm On May 09, 2023 |
descarado: My sister, na so we see am o. Me too was team nicey until I saw how them oyinbos like to pick on us. My friend taught her children to advocate for themselves so much that they are the feared bullies now. Me that cant fight, my child is starting karate class as soon as he can walk. The good thing about it is that he would learn both attack and restrain. Let us all become touts to be sane. If OP's son goes ballistic on the bully twice, his mother will take their interaction more seriously. Most times people hear more when their peace is shaken. I cant shout biko. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is It Ideal To Ask One's Kid To Fight Back by capnies: 4:54pm On May 09, 2023 |
DON'T TELL HIM AT THE SCENE OF THE BULLYING TO FIGHT BACK RIGHT IN YOUR HOUSE TELL HIM THAT IF ANYBODY BEATS HIM HE SHOULD RESPOND IMMEDIATELY WITH MORE STRIKES IF NOT HE WILL GROW UP TO BE TIMID. WHEN MY SON WAS IN JS1 AT FEDERAL GOVERNMENT COLLEGE, HIS GUARDIAN PERSONAL TOLD ME THAT EVEN SS3 STUDENTS CANNOT INTIMIDATE HIM, I LAUGHED AND WAS HAPPY THAT HE CAN SURVIVE ALONE. DONT PLAY WITH SUCH A THING, ANY CHILD THREE YEARS OLDER THAT TRIES TO BULLY HIM HE SHOULD FIGHT BACK IMMEDIATELY, BUT WARN HIM NOT TO START THE BULLYING. 12 Likes 1 Share |
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