thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

I am planning of building a house so that I bring my mother in law to come and live with us

thesilentman:

exactly and that's what i wanted to avoid.The woman loyal but her mum...be like say she get agenda.

Dude, you did absolutely well, else that woman would have used her daughter to control you and your home. It's a good thing you placed where she belongs. Don't apologise for anything. You did nothing wrong!!!

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

you are such a useless and uncultured swine

MrBrownJay1:


bro as a father, i completely understand why a person would do that.... they may not trust that their daughter is safe with/around you.

just make sure that they see/feel/believe that its all good at your home and that their daughter is safe.

Would you give your child out to someone you can't trust? Once you've made the decision to give your child out, you can't project your insecurities on their marriage. That fear is fo you to deal with on your own.

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

Everyday check up! Is the daughter a baby.

Or she no trust the man wey em give the daughter to.
Make Parents dey behave!

thesilentman:

Haba my G you na redpiller na,you suppose understand...
It's the frequency that irritated me.

Dude, the redpillers are behind you. You did absolutely well. Leave that mumu man yarning dust. When he marries, he should allow his mother in law to come and visit her daughter frequently, even when they're relaxing and about to knack, she should comma and see her. We have too many pussy ass Simp men on nairaland nowadays

harsh

My Dear Elder brother, you have a point but the approach was not a good one considering that this is your in-law and also part of you. you should have allowed your wife to handle it in a more diplomatic way.
find a away and correct it so that it wont grow grudges.

That was harsh ohh,like she comes empty handed coz if she does come with goodies and enough food stuffs you won't try this thing.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Where you beep up is asking for the public opinion about your family matter in which you have handle like a Man

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

Stop yarning dust. When you marry allow your mother in law to always come and see her daughter 24hr. U no know Say things like this dey bring see finish? Didn't the OP paid her daughter's bride price? Why disturbing his peace with constant irrelevant visit? All these mu.mu on nairaland

This is just so harsh. I'm not sure you would use similar words on your mum

G00DHardDick:


Dude, you did absolutely well, else that woman would have used her daughter to control you and your home. It's a good thing you placed where she belongs. Don't apologise for anything. You did nothing wrong!!!

Bro, the approach is the problem.

you did very wrong she is older than you , you must respect her and one day you will become old too go find her and apology to her
https://www.koydenhaber.com

Rayban25:
What are you even saying? @bolded?
If they didnt trust the man why did they give him their daughter to marry? A mother in law coming to your house every 3 eke Market days is invasion of privacy..it is my house..that you're her mother dosent mean you should be coming anyhow to my teritorry

SmartyPants:
Would you give your child out to someone you can't trust? Once you've made the decision to give your child out, you can't project your insecurities on their marriage. That fear is fo you to deal with on your own.

PROPEACE:
If they did not trust him, they shouldn't have given him their daughter!

Workch:
nope, as a parent, you need to be sure that your daughter is in good hands before you give her pit to marry. After marriage, let her be

Workch:
you are spewing trash.
You cannot badge into your daughter's home whenever you like.

pek:
This is nonsense. Either you didn't read what he wrote or you read with biased mind. The bolded is trash. If the parents didn't want their daughter to leave their house, they won't have married her out

Marliz:
.Why allow your daughter marry a man that you did not trust?

Ingocof:
Why giving out your daughter to a man you can not trust or guarantee the safety of your daughter? That is irresponsibility, so what was her reason for approving the union in the first place?

234GT:
MrsBrownJay, I dont understand you at all. If you can't entrust your daughter to any man, then please marry your daughter by yourself. If you are giving her out in marriage to another man different from yourself, you have to trust the man and leave the young couple.
What will their home look like if the man's mum keeps coming there too everyday??

i trust him to be my daughter's chosen one, i wont trust him to be a good husband (SIL) until they start living together and he becomes a responsible husband. just because they got married, does NOT mean this man is a good husband, a good father or a caring man. this will have to be confirmed as they start living together. many people get married to people they never knew before. you only meet your true spouse AFTER marriage, not before. but hey, if you think that ABUSIVE HUSBAND is written on people's forehead then so many unfortunate people wouldnt have died at the hands of their abusive husband/wives. lets be real!

vikstandon:
Everyday check up! Is the daughter a baby.
Or she no trust the man wey em give the daughter to.
Make Parents dey behave!

linearity:
I don’t think the OP is against the mother Inlaw checking on her daughter….but haba! to be coming there everyday or every other day is beyond checking.
If I have a friend that is coming to my house to check on me everyday I would tell them to back off as well.

hisgrace090:
So you welcome someone checking you every day by day?

Workch:
he has a right to his privacy, however he went about it wrongly.
He should have just have that conversation with her daughter without the woman knowing anything about it. Wisdom, he lacks wisdom.
He has started a very big heat that will never quench

as i said earlier.... as much as it is a bit excessive you need to open your mind.... so mama that lives close by shouldnt come and spend the day with daughter that is home alone all day (and go to market together etc)? the same mama that will probably come and stay with you for months when you guys have your 1st children (in order to show you how to properly care for a newborn) na that mama you want to look down upon today?!

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

The only thing you did wrong was your harsh approach and tone.

Your mother in law is also your mother for crissakes.

It means you have no regard for your wife and the family you married from.

Omor.. bros you no try fa....

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Not at all, women in general like behaving like children and will respect you more when you handle them as a man. Use same technique on your wife if she offends you many times on a particular issue. You will see the immediate change of attitude.
You don't need to be romantic in their sense of it every time

thesilentman:

exactly and that's what i wanted to avoid.The woman loyal but her mum...be like say she get agenda.

You sound like you wanted to bleep your mother in law but don't know how to tell her.

Jovialjune1:



His wife will do it to his mother, it's always sweet when they are not at the receiving end, see all the useless guys supporting Op, they obviously grew up in a dysfunctional home.

shut up bitch, the wife can't do that to the mother because the wife didn't marry the man and bring him to her house rather reverse is the case so the wife has no say. Only the man decides who is allowed in his house. Nigeria girls una smelly Toto don smell enter una brain and affect una thinking fa?

Hhansome:
Apologize to her and move on. She will definitely adjust.

But then, I must say you were harsh! Have you asked her daughter to talk to her and she still refused?

Isnt it what they advice here in nairaland and call it been a redpiller?

Inlaws are people you will relate with for the rest of your life,what he could have done is to tell her daughter to inform the woman that hubby is complaining simple,or sit her down to politely tell her,he was too harsh and rude!

Jokkarm2:


Bro, the approach is the problem.

Dude, how on earth did you expected him to approach her? So he should kneel down, cry and beg her to stop visiting them unnecessarily? I don't get it. Dude , He did what has to be done by simply asking her to stay where she was married to. Her visits are irrelevant and she should stop disturbing the op's home.

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

I don’t think the OP is against the mother Inlaw checking on her daughter….but haba! to be coming there everyday or every other day is beyond checking.

If I have a friend that is coming to my house to check on me everyday I would tell them to back off as well.

She should allow them to have and grow a family together, her daughter need that space to be her own independent woman. She need the environment to exhibit her own style of womanhood, motherhood and wife without looking over her shoulders expecting correction, dissatisfaction or rebuke from over protective mommy.

At some point in life parent need to give their kids space to grow, learn and become adults…Yes, there will be mistakes, those too are part of the leaning and growing experience.

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

The word there is "too much".

There is nothing to hide except you have a skeleton in your cupboard. Your wife's mother visiting shouldn't not stop you from doing what you have to do,even if you want knack your wife in her presence. As long as she is not disturbing you from doing anything in your home, I don't see any big deal in her coming frequently

zeuss:
Obviously a sweet lady.... Not the quarrelsome type, or else u would not get away with that wicked talk.... She is lonely wants to be with her friend and daughter... .. Have a heart u broke hers.... U2 will grow old...... U fuked up......call her and apologize.

What would she do? Tell her daughter to divorce him?

She should stay at her house shikina.

You have invited asunder into your marriage. Yoruba says, A bad wife is actually good but bad inlaw is extremely dangerous.

zeuss:
Obviously a sweet lady.... Not the quarrelsome type, or else u would not get away with that wicked talk.... She is lonely wants to be with her friend and daughter... .. Have a heart u broke hers.... U2 will grow old...... U fuked up......call her and apologize.

thesilentman is right. That mother in law is ill-mannered. Some people, I often wonder what kind of society they grew up in. What the fuçk are you always doing in your daughter's matrimonial home? If you are lonely, make some fuçking friends!

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

What are you even saying? @bolded?

If they didnt trust the man why did they give him their daughter to marry? A mother in law coming to your house every 3 eke Market days is invasion of privacy..it is my house..that you're her mother dosent mean you should be coming anyhow to my teritorry

superCleanworks:


that woman knew EXACTLY what she was doing. if you give them a step they will want to cover the whole road. You did well to put her in her place and don't listen to anyone trying to tell you that you were harsh. All that matters is that the message has been delivered.

The message was good. But the delivery was poor.

See, this is a family matter. They are all dependant on one another. You will always need each other somehow someday.

Op or his wife could suffer a mishap tomorrow (not praying for this?) and will need his family members.

For him to be so rude to the woman shows how he regards his own mum and wife.

GodPrince:
My mother should shut up, she is a bitch, . My Nigeria mother and sisters smelly Toto don smell enter their brain and affect their thinking fa?

Fixed.

BeardedmeatR:
The only thing you did wrong was your harsh approach and tone.

Your mother in law is also your mother for crissakes.

It means you have no regard for your wife and the family you married from.

Regard or respect is reciprocal, if you are married, you will understand the menace some mother in-laws constitute.
Don't be surprised the father in-law must have warned her and other people to give them freedom.