Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,768 members, 7,809,957 topics. Date: Friday, 26 April 2024 at 05:48 PM

UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother (47149 Views)

I Had Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother / My Pregnant Neighbour Has Been Restless Because She's Carrying Twin / I Have Been Having An Affair With My Elder Brother's Wife – Nigerian Man Reveals (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (11) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Shattuck(m): 9:07pm On May 23, 2023
The best you can do right now is to focus on your life and your younger ones, once one person or two don make am for your family your mum would have kids to brag about with,. Just try an be the best you can be to live up to that expectation.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Sirchiboy: 9:10pm On May 23, 2023
Who go help me too secure a job
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by OkoRemi2023(m): 9:11pm On May 23, 2023
alaye relocate and let only your mom and other responsible know your relocation and warned them not to disclose it



devil can use anyone to cause you distractions
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by reiddecuti: 9:12pm On May 23, 2023
You can't help a man who is not ready to help himself.

Another thing that might make him behave the way he did is if he's a pride person. If he is then it might not go well with him that his younger brother he's supposed to help is the one helping him.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by bikefab(m): 9:13pm On May 23, 2023
Village people are playing draft with his destiny...
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Acidosis(m): 9:16pm On May 23, 2023
Many firstborns are like that, they find themselves struggling. Go and study the life of Reuben (if you're a Christian), you'll realise that your brother needs more prayers and intense mentoring than grumbling. Do not give up on your brother....and please encourage your mom.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by superCleanworks(m): 9:20pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:

I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

when I saw the first story, I told my wife that this is exactly what would happen and here it is.
How can someone spend a full year to be looking for conductor job? Even if you take him to europe he will disappoint you. Till he stands up to fend for himself.
That your brother will soon be looking for how to kill you. He will blame you for all the problems in his life. He is the type of person that can beat his mother and kill her when one drunk pastor tells him that she has been the one blocking his destiny. Just watch out.

2 Likes

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by luckedesiri(m): 9:21pm On May 23, 2023
Don't let your brother kill you....
Not everyone will do whah u have done already.
Face your life and your mum and other siblings
Ignore him totally for now.
When God bless u and u Don stand wella.... U fit come back to him case if he's still alive.
But for now... Its either you or him.
Choose wisely so u don't lose both yourself and him together.
Save yourself.
Respect him but ignore the things u used to pay attention to such as his welfare or wellbeing.
God bless and save us all... Amen
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by seguno2: 9:22pm On May 23, 2023
ahnie:
Ignore him,I have a sister like your brother,they re distractions, they're always envious and bittered.

See guy,you just have to zonk him out and focus on your life,hack anything that concerns him out from your life if you really wants to live long

Please what happened to your sister after she was ignored
Did she straighten up? And how long after ignoring her did she straighten out?
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by bbode1(m): 9:22pm On May 23, 2023
VTJN:
omo this life no just balance. This your brother need deliverance. I don't even know if you should ignore him or not. God will see you through.
He is possessed. Like he need spiritual deliverance.
I suggest mountain of fire if u are a Christian. Or an Alfa well known in a mosque if u are a Muslim
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 9:23pm On May 23, 2023
Acidosis:
Many firstborns are like that, they find themselves struggling. Go and study the life of Reuben (if you're a Christian), you'll realise that your brother needs more prayers and intense mentoring than grumbling. Do not give up on your brother....and please encourage your mom.
Op's mother has been praying for the brother from since when he was born and you want to subject OP to the same mental slavery for how much longer? undecided

You see, Scripture states that God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the pleas and requests and every petition, praise, offering, work, plea, sacrifice, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins(disobedience/unholiness) and are hence an abomination to God. So, what is definite is that even your many pleas for the forgiveness of sins are not answered by God given that God made no special exemptions for that kind of plea. No amount of praying can cause God to change His mind regarding that which concerns the unrighteous by the way. So if you are thinking of prescribing more prayers that only means you really don't understand or know God at all. undecided

God, however, openly bragged about how He only answers the prayers of the righteous; He delights in granting them the desires of their heart meaning that they are those who he loves. For this very reason, Jesus Christ urged His followers to seek first the Kingdom of God and God's Righteousness in order that all things— the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(holiness), answers to prayers included—shall be added on to them. And as Jesus Christ explained in His Gospel, the only way to become Holy, and then also Righteous, is by way of continuous submission and obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, god's Truth and Law in the Kingdom of god - John 8 vs 31 - 36 & John 14 vs 15 - 23. Jesus Christ is the only way. Obedience to the Truth of God is the one and only path to righteousness. No amount of praying and other religious rituals can accomplish that. undecided

God deals indirectly with the unrighteous, the same way He deals with the unbelievers including the wicked and the ungrateful and that is by pouring out His mercy and kindness on them daily. So every time as an unrighteous you feel that God has answered your prayer know that at that same moment, or moments before that, God also provided the same mercy or similar to someone else across the world — or maybe just across from you— who does not even believe in God, nor asked God for anything. So, if answers from God are what you seek, then do what Jesus Christ said you should, which is to seek first the Kingdom of God(holiness), and then God's righteousness, in order that all these things —the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(including answers to prayers) can be added to you. undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by osazsky(m): 9:23pm On May 23, 2023
Ur bro is depressed and no one notices...pls help him see A tharapist.this is d worst form of depresión he is insecured thats y he left the job..the more u blame him and insult him d higher the depresión.. look for his interst and pik it up from there..it will be dificult to mánage considering ur background..a sessions with a good tharapist in govt his fit chop like 16k..he may need this once or twice a month depending on d severeity

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 9:24pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
I can't leave my younger siblings and mother with that my brother. I don't think they are safe living together with that my brother without my presence.

My mum has prayed and fasted on his behalf several times. Let me tell you something, my mum and late father were Muslim. We're originally from a Muslim background. My mum converted to Christian because of this my elder brother. He was seriously ill when given birth to him. They took him virtually everywhere but there was no remedy. It was our neighbour according to my parents that introduced christ to them. They came through my dad because my mum was a devoted Muslim then. My late dad had to convince my mum to take the little boy to church having gone virtually everywhere already but the sickness still persist. It takes God intervention before my mum took him to church and he recieve healing truly. My mum made a vow without being told nor compelled that she and her family will serve Jesus Christ throughout their life time. She automatically converted to Christian before she gave birth to others including me. We're known as Christian. We do go to church. Although my dad barely go to church but we do pray together as one family when he was alive. He has his own bible he read daily and he believes in Christ.
OP, your mother has done enough praying abeg! Make she go rest and sort her own life and other children out. Tell her it is time for her to live her own life abeg! undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Tadeus(m): 9:24pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

It's painful but it's your cross, you have to carry it . To all those people advising you to forget everything about him, they are kids or possibly don't have family members.

Please exercise patient with your brother. What he actually need is rehabilitation not work. He was a former motor park boy(conductor) he was used to the life of smoking and drinking all sort of things. According to you, he has been doing this job for almost 2 decades, it will be very difficult for him to switch without proper rehab. How do you expect a bank staff of over a decade to jump on conductor job, and be comfortable with it? Samething applies to your bro.

Please keep praying for him, and assure your mum that all things will be fine soonest.

The thought of poisoning him, please erase it totally from your mind. If you try it, I can assure you that you will live the rest of your life regretting your action. Let him be for now, and advice him to move closer to pastor if he is a Christian or Alfa . Everything will be alright.

1 Like

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by seguno2: 9:24pm On May 23, 2023
sisisioge:
You have tried. The good samaritan has tried. Your brother can not be helped. Leave him be. Stop providing free food/clothing for him. Time will teach him some common sense soon. May God bless your life.

Tough love therapy?
Hmm maybe that’s what the problematic brother needs.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 9:25pm On May 23, 2023
bbode1:
He is possessed. Like he need spiritual deliverance.
I suggest mountain of fire if u are a Christian. Or an Alfa well known in a mosque if u are a Muslim
So, upon all the spiritual deliverance him mother carry am go since when he was born, you still need op and the mother to remain shackled to that delusion endlessly? This na wickedness abeg! undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by seguno2: 9:25pm On May 23, 2023
osazsky:
Ur bro is depressed and no one notices...pls help him see A tharapist.this is d worst form of depresión he is insecured thats y he left the job..the more u blake him and insult jim d tiger the depresión.. look for his interst and pik it up from there..it will be dificult to mánage considering ur background..a sessions with a good tharapist in govt his fit chop like 16k..he may need this once or twice a month depending on d severeity

Excellent advice but are there free therapists?
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by BadEnglish(m): 9:26pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

Since he's decided to be useless in life, make him useful by ritualising him.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Snowx: 9:26pm On May 23, 2023
All I can say is .God will be your strength.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 9:27pm On May 23, 2023
Tadeus:
It's painful but it's your cross, you have to carry it . To all those people advising you to forget everything about him, they are kids or possibly don't have family members. Please exercise patient with your brother. What he actually need is rehabilitation not work. He was a former motor park boy(conductor) he was used to the life of smoking and drinking all sort of things. According to you, he has been doing this job for almost 2 decades, it will be very difficult for him to switch without proper rehab. How do you expect a bank staff of over a decade to jump on conductor job, and be comfortable with it? Samething applies to your bro.

Please keep praying for him, and assure your mum that all things will be fine soonest.

The thought of poisoning him, please erase it totally from your mind. If you try it, I can assure you that you will live the rest of your life regretting your action. Let him be for now, and advice him to move closer to pastor if he is a Christian or Alfa . Everything will be alright.
Even after the mother don pray since he was a baby, your advice is that OP too become enslavement in praying and seeking deliverance too? Why do you give this wicked advice abeg? undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by tommy589(m): 9:27pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.



*The reality just dawn on him. Conductors upgrade to drivers,but stealing of daily passengers fare and fear of their own conductors also visiting same on them led some not to learn driving*

Above is my response to your previous post about your brother.

Your familial relationship blinds you not to notice your brother is a crook. He won't be able to work in an environment where he won't be able to earn extras by the side.

1 Like

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kingbuhari(m): 9:29pm On May 23, 2023
If this is 16 to 17 centuries I would've advise u to arrange boys tie him up and auction him to slave ship going to Brazil so he can go and farm in their sugarcane plantation. The money u made from him u use it no take care of ur little one's
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Evestar200(f): 9:29pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

Guy ignore him, I have two younger brothers like this, they refused to go to school, learn skill, or work.

One ran to Ghana to do Yahoo after wrong advice from his friends, I was the one that transport him from Ghana back to Nigeria when he was suffering there.

I always tell them that whoever chooses to live a bad lifestyle should have the body for it because I care less about anyone.

I have ignored both of them and even tell my mom not to give me any bad reports about them because that's the lifestyle they choose to live.

I only care about my mom and last born and I told my mom that if I send her money for feeding and she uses it to feed those grown up boys, either I stop sending her money or she will choose between me and those two boys.

You better wise up now because if anything happens to you, your Mom you are thinking something bad will happen to because of your brother will live her life.

Put yourself first in anything you do.

5 Likes

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 9:30pm On May 23, 2023
Kingbuhari:
If this is 16 to 17 centuries I would've advise u to arrange boys tie him up and auction him to slave ship going to Brazil so he can go and farm in their sugarcane plantation. The money u made from him u use it no take care of ur little one's

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Onyinyechiugly1(f): 9:30pm On May 23, 2023
Focus on building yourself.....be selfish about your own growth.


Life is too short to be burdened about a grown ass man.

1 Like

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by one4GOD(f): 9:32pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.
pls never engage in physical combat with you sibling not to talk of an older brother is evil. You have done your best just stop offering him anything, hinger gontwavh am sense. Leave him alone and focus on ursef and ur mom
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Olarewaju89: 9:33pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.


I told you your brother situation is spiritual you did not listen to me even someone here insulted me.

1 Like

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by ezechi242: 9:33pm On May 23, 2023
elder brother from hell.... grin grin grin grin
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Bfly: 9:33pm On May 23, 2023
Focus on your life. You come here alone. When you are capable. You can lift your mom and probably put your brother on stipends if you really love him this much. Most of the things you fear won't happen.
Man is a very complex creature.

Many psychological changes must have happened to him that couldn't easily be reversed, having been a bus conductor for some long time. He needs to either be rehabilitated without him taking most of the responsibilities or spiritually delivered. The latter is undisputable.

Focus on your life. You, yourself needs help.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by osazsky(m): 9:33pm On May 23, 2023
seguno2:


Excellent advice but are there free therapists?
nope...a sessions is abt 16k or 10k depending...then he will b placed on specific drugs

1 Like 1 Share

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 9:34pm On May 23, 2023
Olarewaju89:
■ I told you your brother situation is spiritual you did not listen to me even someone here insulted me.
Stop lying to him.! undecided

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (11) (Reply)

8 Challenges To Face Your 1st Year Of Marriage / Should I Tell My Dad That My Step-brother Is Not His Son ? / Nigeria Introduces New Federal Marriage Certificate

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 159
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.