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UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother - Family (5) - Nairaland

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I Had Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother / My Pregnant Neighbour Has Been Restless Because She's Carrying Twin / I Have Been Having An Affair With My Elder Brother's Wife – Nigerian Man Reveals (2) (3) (4)

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Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Nyanabo(m): 10:02pm On May 23, 2023
Bros focus on yourself and your mother. Do your little bit for her and your siblings. Leave that your elder brother. He has chosen his part let him walk it. Love yourself before you love someone else.

If I were you that so called brother has lost his respect in my eyes. I will walk up to him and tell him categorically that from today if he doesn't contribute to the upkeep of the house, he should start looking for a place else where.

Don't let you head go under the water. Keep it afloat man.

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Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by 300wayne: 10:04pm On May 23, 2023
osazsky:
if they resolve the elder bro mental health automatically the mental health of the remaining family members is resolved...they young man is depressed...if not checked on time he may consider suicide and end it all
Everything is not depression brother.
Did you read the part where he was offered a job, but tossed it only to return back as a dependent?
Tell me what part of being depressed makes one to act like that.

If there's anyone who is/should require mental help it's the OP.

Someone taking up so much responsibility with little resources yet we don't see him as needing mental help.

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Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Acidosis(m): 10:04pm On May 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Op's mother has been praying for the brother from since when he was born and you want to subject OP to the same mental slavery for how much longer? undecided

You see, Scripture states that God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the pleas and requests and every petition, praise, offering, work, plea, sacrifice, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins(disobedience/unholiness) and are hence an abomination to God. So, what is definite is that even your many pleas for the forgiveness of sins are not answered by God given that God made no special exemptions for that kind of plea. No amount of praying can cause God to change His mind regarding that which concerns the unrighteous by the way. So if you are thinking of prescribing more prayers that only means you really don't understand or know God at all. undecided

God, however, openly bragged about how He only answers the prayers of the righteous; He delights in granting them the desires of their heart meaning that they are those who he loves. For this very reason, Jesus Christ urged His followers to seek first the Kingdom of God and God's Righteousness in order that all things— the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(holiness), answers to prayers included—shall be added on to them. And as Jesus Christ explained in His Gospel, the only way to become Holy, and then also Righteous, is by way of continuous submission and obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, god's Truth and Law in the Kingdom of god - John 8 vs 31 - 36 & John 14 vs 15 - 23. Jesus Christ is the only way. Obedience to the Truth of God is the one and only path to righteousness. No amount of praying and other religious rituals can accomplish that. undecided

God deals indirectly with the unrighteous, the same way He deals with the unbelievers including the wicked and the ungrateful and that is by pouring out His mercy and kindness on them daily. So every time as an unrighteous you feel that God has answered your prayer know that at that same moment, or moments before that, God also provided the same mercy or similar to someone else across the world — or maybe just across from you— who does not even believe in God, nor asked God for anything. So, if answers from God are what you seek, then do what Jesus Christ said you should, which is to seek first the Kingdom of God(holiness), and then God's righteousness, in order that all these things —the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(including answers to prayers) can be added to you. undecided


Since you have the magical cure for his brother's issue, why haven't you deployed it?
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:05pm On May 23, 2023
Acidosis:
■ Since you have the magical cure for his brother's issue, why haven't you deployed it?
I don't have a magical cure but the fact that OP's mother has for the last 38 years of his life been chasing after the imaginary cure you prescribed there, it is safe to conclude it is bullsheet and nothing worth her investing more of her life in or roping her other son into. undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by leisuretym: 10:06pm On May 23, 2023
Ulunne777:
But pls indulge me a little.

What reason 'did he say'made him to come home?
I quoted that in particular you know what's going on in his head.

Someone who has done conductor work no suppose cave in for something as lil as learning plumbing.

Conductors get paid per minutes , he can’t do another job, he will only learn a handwork if he use his leg to walk there by himself , to him, that 15k was for the 3 days he has done on the job, he also know mama will serve dinner every night if he goes back home.

People like that can only change if shege change them, not you
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by sonssyo: 10:08pm On May 23, 2023
mariahAngel:


Na WA O! 😳



😩

Did I even forgot to add,he drinks and drinks, where he learnt it very obvious Onitsha! He lies like kilode!
He doesn't go to church!
Believe you me,I don't count him as my brother if not for Oko woman,I don't want her to die.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by osazsky(m): 10:08pm On May 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
If Christians, en masse, gain near nothing from the many rituals, why would you prescribe it to those who are not Christians? undecided
but christ came for sinners and not d saved read ur bible
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Acidosis(m): 10:10pm On May 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
I don't have a magical cure but the fact that OP's mother has for the last 38 years of his life been chasing after the imaginary cure you prescribed there, it is safe to conclude it is bullsheet and nothing worth her investing more of her life in or roping her other son into. undecided

Alright then. All the best to them.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:11pm On May 23, 2023
osazsky:
■ but christ came for sinners and not d saved read ur bible
WOW, nelly! You are a ways off if you believe the religion of Christianity and its many rituals come close to representing Jesus Christ who instead said that He was sent by His Father only to the lost sheep of Israel, the actual sinners of the world. undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by seguno2: 10:11pm On May 23, 2023
osazsky:
nope...a sessions is abt 16k or 10k depending...then he will b placed on specific drugs

Ordinarily some religious groups and even non religious groups would be doing this for free to indigent people like the brother.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:12pm On May 23, 2023
Acidosis:
■ Alright then. All the best to them.
All I am saying is let's stop peddling lies to enslave minds and at least accept reality as it presents itself even if overall we think God a liar!. undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by pragmatistm(m): 10:13pm On May 23, 2023
See how easy it is changing your sliding windows net


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKa-hdHAar8

Learn to do it yourself.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:13pm On May 23, 2023
seguno2:
■ Ordinarily some religious groups and even non religious groups would be doing this for free to indigent people like the brother.
OP already submitted that his mother has been submitting to the prayer and fasting ritual for the boy since she was born. 38 years on, you want her to continue enslaved to the same ritual? undecided

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Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by greggng: 10:14pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
I was told not to give up on him. My mum will develop high Blood Pressure seeing him wasting away. I don't know what else to do sis. At times i wish i had the mind to poison him silently. He was supposed to be supporting me helping the family. Unfortunately, he was a burden.

I was told not to give up on him. How is that possible please? How else can i help him? What can i do please? This is frustrating. I can't imagine crying over my elder brother. I'm tired


You can talk from.morning to night ...what is holding your brother is spiritual . Thank God your mom is still.alive ...take him.to a bible believing church for deliverance....This is the first step b4 getting him a job
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by athorello(m): 10:14pm On May 23, 2023
Leave family, they won't die... Go and hustle.

The one wey die no wan survive before.

Dem no dey solve family problem finish. You need get mind not to look uche face and focus on yourself for now.

It's only when you've saved yourself that you can save others.

So my advice is, MOVE OUT... And be supporting them once once. Maybe just rent or part of it for now. Don't concern so much with their day to day survival. You need some bits of selfishness. Peace!
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:19pm On May 23, 2023
greggng:
■ You can talk from.morning to night ...[b]what is holding your brother is spiritual . Thank God your mom is still.alive ...take him.to a bible believing church for deliverance....[/b]This is the first step b4 getting him a job
So all the deliverance wey him mama and papa do for going on 38-years of the boy life no do, na more deliverance him need and na op you wan recruit into those same shackles that have left his mother scattered and disheveled? Nna, this is nothing short of wickedness abeg! undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by cedricksly: 10:20pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.
ignore him, you brother's problem is pride, for himself working under someone he might be older than.. And that pride will ruin him.......... The time of regret for him will be too late by then... Just ignore him.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by cassyrooy(m): 10:21pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.
I know exactly how you're feeling, many people don't understand the pain of seeing one's siblings not fairing well enough and all efforts to help out seems to be yielding no results, but nonetheless, you must soldier on without him.

You should find in your heart and disconnect yourself and remain focused. You've done what he should have done for you but couldn't.

Just respect him and keep working on yourself.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Acidosis(m): 10:27pm On May 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
All I am saying is let's stop peddling lies to enslave minds and at least accept reality as it presents itself even if overall we think God a liar!. undecided


Madam Kobo, you have proven time and time again that you're a false teacher. Arguing with you is totally pointless. You're the only Christian in this world that speaks against prayers. Why would any sane person argue or discuss Bible with you?

Anna the Prophetess in the bible prayed for 60 years. All she did with her life was praying. The other Hannah, mother of Samuel, prayed for for at least 10-20 years looking for one thing. Even Jesus prayed for 40 days and 40 nights without food or water, asking for one thing. But in your crass ignorance, you won't stop running from one thread to another thread kicking against everything and everyone that dares quote the same bible you read and quote.

What sort of human being are you? Some days I actually feel you're on some meds.. No offence, please. But I have to tell you the truth.

You can make your points known online, you can speak like every other atheists or theist without using bible verses to criticize Christianity and Christians, that's a worse version of Satanism.

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Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by grandstar(m): 10:30pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44

Forget your brother. You'll just die of hypertension. He isn't serious. He lacks self worth, self discipline and worse, a direction in his life.

That conductor job is his calling
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:33pm On May 23, 2023
Acidosis:
■ Anna the Prophetess in the bible prayed for 60 years. All she did with her life was praying. The other Hannah, mother of Samuel, prayed for for at least 10-20 years looking for one thing. Even Jesus prayed for 40 days and 40 nights without food or water, asking for one thing. But in your class ignorance, you won't stop running from one thread to another thread kicking against everything and everyone that dares quote the same bible you read and quote.
■ What sort of human being are you? You can actually make your points known online, you can speak like every other atheists or theist without using bible verses to criticize Christianity and Christians, a worse version of Satanism.
1. Anna the prophetess was a righteous woman who prayed to see the coming of God's New plan. Hannah was a righteous woman and hence the reason why she was given Samuel and was also able to give him up as she agreed to. Of course, Jesus Christ was also righteous. Even David was righteous and that was why God chose him as a replacement for Saul saying he, David was a man after His own heart — righteous. STOP COMPARING YOUR UNRIGHTEOUS SELVES WITH THE RIGHTEOUS for crying out loud! God will never treat you the same as He treats those who are righteous. That has been clear in scripture from the beginning. undecided

2. I am a human being whose eyes are open to seeking out and accepting Truth as it presents itself not one who dives behind delusions in desperation. undecided

1 Like

Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by finallybusy: 10:45pm On May 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. Anna the prophetess was a righteous woman who prayed to see the coming of God's New plan. Hannah was a righteous woman and hence the reason why she was given Samuel and was also able to give him up as she agreed to. Of course, Jesus Christ was also righteous. Even David was righteous and that was why God chose him as a replacement for Saul saying he, David was a man after His own heart — righteous. STOP COMPARING YOUR UNRIGHTEOUS SELVES WITH THE RIGHTEOUS for crying out loud! God will never treat you the same as He treats those who are righteous. That has been clear in scripture from the beginning. undecided

2. I am a human being whose eyes are open to seeking out and accepting Truth as it presents itself not one who dies behind delusions in desperation. undecided
“Life is Short. Make Sure You Spend As Much Time As Possible on the Internet Arguing with Strangers.”
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 10:48pm On May 23, 2023
finallybusy:
“Life is Short. Make Sure You Spend As Much Time As Possible on the Internet Arguing with Strangers.”
There you go again with your obsession with matters that pertain to my life. You hate your life so much? undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Acidosis(m): 10:49pm On May 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. Anna the prophetess was a righteous woman who prayed to see the coming of God's New plan. Hannah was a righteous woman and hence the reason why she was given Samuel and was also able to give him up as she agreed to. Of course, Jesus Christ was also righteous. Even David was righteous and that was why God chose him as a replacement for Saul saying he, David was a man after His own heart — righteous. STOP COMPARING YOUR UNRIGHTEOUS SELVES WITH THE RIGHTEOUS for crying out loud! God will never treat you the same as He treats those who are righteous. That has been clear in scripture from the beginning. undecided

2. I am a human being whose eyes are open to seeking out and accepting Truth as it presents itself not one who dies behind delusions in desperation. undecided

So who is the unrighteous person here? Have you met OP's mother? Did she she steal from you? What has she done to you and how did you arrive at the unrighteous tag? Even if the entire family is unrighteous... So what?? Is your own god deaf or dead that he can no longer forgive sins in a minute? Why are you so fixated on this unrighteous thing ..like it takes a billion naira to become a righteous human before God?

All I said was that he should study the life of Reuben, pray, and stop being too hard on his brother. Why? Many firstborns have been through this phase and the life of Reuben remains a pointer. From Reuben to Elias, Abnom, etc. They all have something in common - firstborns. I no be God and never gave any solution. But he needs to stop being too hard on his brother!!!

Ignorance is why anyone will want to harm his or her elder brother because of life struggles. More often than not, these issues are beyond them - firstborns. Don't allow your ignorance becloud your sense of reasoning. It takes patience, understanding, tolerance, and above all, prayers.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by obailala(m): 10:50pm On May 23, 2023
VTJN:
Respect is earn, not demanded for. I'm glad your brother respected himself and stay on his lane which made you guys to respect him. It is natural to disrespect a liability at that age who wouldn't respect himself

You think it's easy for someone to be crying over his elder brother? Even the mother dey cry with his old age. Op is going through a lot in that family. Op is not responsible for the family problem but look at how he carried the family problem on his head, when himself never find him bearing. Will you respect such an elder brother who doesn't respect himself? Ofcourse if he respect himself, Op should respect him. But if otherwise, you know the rest
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

You need to understand that the elder brother's problem is psychological; he might look all sane and sound, but the truth is, he doesn't know what he's doing. Even if he knows he isn't acting right, for some inexplicable reason, he's just powerless to change the situation.

Such situations should be treated delicately. The Op seems to have exhausted his options on what he or the mum can do, but if he really loves his elder brother, the least he can do is to try and still accord him that respect, no matter how difficult it may be, cos disrespecting him would worsen his already terrible psychological state.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Meddymeddy: 10:52pm On May 23, 2023
ahnie:
Ignore him,I have a sister like your brother,they re distractions, they're always envious and bittered.

See guy,you just have to zonk him out and focus on your life,hack anything that concerns him out from your life if you really wants to live long
You talk true my sister.
Avoid the unlucky ones at all cost
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by PHIPEX(m): 10:53pm On May 23, 2023
You have done so well. But don't forget your brother is not used to "having his freedom restricted". He needed time to adjust to a new form of restricted freedom. He's been living a free life for over 18years going by your writeup, he needs time to adjust

Don't lose hope, you can move on but don't stop to help if you see any other opportunity.
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by yusufu16: 10:54pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

You are the problem, Nobody owes you anything in this life. Face your life
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Kobojunkie: 11:02pm On May 23, 2023
Acidosis:
So who is the unrighteous person here? Have you met OP's mother? Did she she steal from you? What has she done to you and how did you arrive at the unrighteous tag? Even if the entire family is unrighteous... So what?? Is your own god deaf or dead that he can no longer forgive sins in a minute? Why are you so fixated on this unrighteous thing ..like it takes a billion naira to become a righteous human before God? All I said was that he should study the life of Reuben, pray, and stop being too hard on his brother. Why? Many firstborns have been through this phase and the life of Reuben remains a pointer. From Reuben to Elias, Abnom, etc. They all have something in common - firstborns. I no be God and never gave any solution. But he needs to stop being too hard on his brother!!! Ignorance is why anyone will want to harm his or her elder brother because of life struggles. More often than not, these issues are beyond them - firstborns. Don't allow your ignorance becloud your sense of reasoning. It takes patience, understanding, tolerance, and above all, prayers.
This is what you said ...
Acidosis:
Many firstborns are like that, they find themselves struggling. Go and study the life of Reuben (if you're a Christian), you'll realise that your brother needs more prayers and intense mentoring than grumbling. Do not give up on your brother....and please encourage your mom.
And this was my exact response
Kobojunkie:
Op's mother has been praying for the brother from since when he was born and you want to subject OP to the same mental slavery for how much longer? undecided

You see, Scripture states that God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the pleas and requests and every petition, praise, offering, work, plea, sacrifice, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins(disobedience/unholiness) and are hence an abomination to God. So, what is definite is that even your many pleas for the forgiveness of sins are not answered by God given that God made no special exemptions for that kind of plea. No amount of praying can cause God to change His mind regarding that which concerns the unrighteous by the way. So if you are thinking of prescribing more prayers that only means you really don't understand or know God at all. undecided

God, however, openly bragged about how He only answers the prayers of the righteous; He delights in granting them the desires of their heart meaning that they are those who he loves. For this very reason, Jesus Christ urged His followers to seek first the Kingdom of God and God's Righteousness in order that all things— the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(holiness), answers to prayers included—shall be added on to them. And as Jesus Christ explained in His Gospel, the only way to become Holy, and then also Righteous, is by way of continuous submission and obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, god's Truth and Law in the Kingdom of god - John 8 vs 31 - 36 & John 14 vs 15 - 23. Jesus Christ is the only way. Obedience to the Truth of God is the one and only path to righteousness. No amount of praying and other religious rituals can accomplish that. undecided

God deals indirectly with the unrighteous, the same way He deals with the unbelievers including the wicked and the ungrateful and that is by pouring out His mercy and kindness on them daily. So every time as an unrighteous you feel that God has answered your prayer know that at that same moment, or moments before that, God also provided the same mercy or similar to someone else across the world — or maybe just across from you— who does not even believe in God, nor asked God for anything. So, if answers from God are what you seek, then do what Jesus Christ said you should, which is to seek first the Kingdom of God(holiness), and then God's righteousness, in order that all these things —the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(including answers to prayers) can be added to you. undecided
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by diogo23: 11:04pm On May 23, 2023
DownTime44:
I was told not to give up on him. My mum will develop high Blood Pressure seeing him wasting away. I don't know what else to do sis. At times i wish i had the mind to poison him silently. He was supposed to be supporting me helping the family. Unfortunately, he was a burden.

I was told not to give up on him. How is that possible please? How else can i help him? What can i do please? This is frustrating. I can't imagine crying over my elder brother. I'm tired

If you continue with him like this you can't make anything out of this life
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by udeh3(m): 11:12pm On May 23, 2023
I understand your story... It's real. From the comment of many, the truth is unveiled

Brother, you have to find your feet on the ground first, before finding anybody's foot

You can't raise anyone when you're even down. Thank God you're different. You clearly understand your goals and aspiration, pursue them with all seriousness. Focus on yourself!

For your mental health and stability, you can leave the house to your friend's place if you can't afford an apartment for the now. The journey of your life has begun!

Las Las your brother and your mom will all be alright!
Re: UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother by Stobenson: 11:15pm On May 23, 2023
What i want to tell you
Take note of it

1) Go consult genuine pastor or confirm Alfa or Babalawo to tell you the causes of your brother unseriousness

2) The person that make your brother to b unserious person is within your family

3) your brother problem , if you continue to solve it, you personally will not become somebody in life

4) Focus your life, because If you rest now( God forbid) your brother will live his life

5) you will later come back to say kudos to me if you follow my instructions

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