I wan talk for the last post but I had to refrain myself.
Op, you can't help people like your bro, just dash him any token you can whenever you can.
Some need just a token to eat, some a job to feed themselves, some wealth to feed others, you can't switch any of this class Rothe other, only the individual can do that through mindset

Everyone done turn to adviser, but many here are just like the op elder brother.. some are into crime, some are giving thier own parents sleepless night, some people here they more useless than the op brother.
Op be careful of the advice you take from anyone here, stop complaining, stop running to public, build your own career and do the little you can for him.

The more you complain the more issue will be coming for you to complain.

Stop complaining and face reality

Stobenson:
What i want to tell you Take note of it
1) Go consult genuine pastor or confirm Alfa or Babalawo to tell you the causes of your brother unseriousness
2) The person that make your brother to b unserious person is within your family
3) your brother problem , if you continue to solve it, you personally will not become somebody in life
4) Focus your life, because If you rest now( God forbid) your brother will live his life
5) you will later come back to say kudos to me if you follow my instructions

So, even after all this ...

DownTime44:
I can't leave my younger siblings and mother with that my brother. I don't think they are safe living together with that my brother without my presence.

My mum has prayed and fasted on his behalf several times. Let me tell you something, my mum and late father were Muslim. We're originally from a Muslim background. My mum converted to Christian because of this my elder brother. He was seriously ill when given birth to him. They took him virtually everywhere but there was no remedy. It was our neighbour according to my parents that introduced christ to them. They came through my dad because my mum was a devoted Muslim then. My late dad had to convince my mum to take the little boy to church having gone virtually everywhere already but the sickness still persist. It takes God intervention before my mum took him to church and he recieve healing truly. My mum made a vow without being told nor compelled that she and her family will serve Jesus Christ throughout their life time. She automatically converted to Christian before she gave birth to others including me. We're known as Christian. We do go to church. Although my dad barely go to church but we do pray together as one family when he was alive. He has his own bible he read daily and he believes in Christ.

You think it still makes sense for OP to now, take the baton from his mother, and continue to needlessly search the crevices of the minds of your many alfas and pastors for advice on this?

bummyla:
Your elder brother problem is spiritual!

If you look around, most first born male do not do well in life, because they are supposed to be priest!

And when they are not, they are supposed to be redeemed by their parents in Church!

My elder brother was like yours

I took it serious when they called me that he was suicidal

As a member of RCCG we do first born redemption, MFM does that too.

Long story short, my parents, brought their gift (money) to redeem their son, he agreed, the pastors prayed for him and he no more suicidal.

He is doing ok just for himself now

Rubbish! Religion is for the gullibles. African and religious mindset🤣🤣🤣

GoldenJAT:
Bitter and harsh as I may sound!! There is nothing you can do anymore, except for prayer (If you believe in it). He is a full grown man!!
Face your hustle and don't allow anyone to blackmail you emotionally! The life na per head!!
You can't be more catholic than the Pope!!!

Dont mind the blackmailers, They can't tolerate 1% of what someone is tolerating but will come and Emotionally blackmail the person by telling the person to continue tolerating rubbish.

Nobody, not even my Mom can emotionally blackmail me.

I have warned her and my two younger brothers that choose the other part of life.

Cc: DownTime44

Took my time to read through your comments and replies to people. I have some things to say to you.



First, first sons born into poor families in Nigeria share almost similar trait with your elder brother. And part of the problem is from their poor parents, how?


In life, you need to be prepared and equipped to face the challenges that comes with adulthood and independence.


To all Nigerian parents reading, if you are poor as a parent that you cannot afford to send your first child to tertiary institution, please try and help him or her to acquire sellable skills like; welding, fashion designing, carpentry, plumbing, etc, or let him go for a trading apprenticeship known in Igbo culture as "igba boi" or "imu ahia".


The mistake poor parents in Nigeria make is not equipping their children, especially the first child for the life challenges of adulthood, so those first child end up struggling to find their feet by trial and errors which many end up not succeeding or losing focus and then we tag it spiritual.


Yes, Biblically first borns do experience challenges based on the status of their parents; if their parents are poor, he automatically inherits that poverty and in Nigeria or West Africa, he automatically becomes the second father and breadwinner of the family even before he becomes adult and in so doing, he ends up doing menial jobs, odd jobs, unskilled jobs just to earn instant money for the rest of the family and on the long run, he loses out as those menial jobs either becomes unavailable or competitive as younger energetic youths come onboard and then he starts to struggle to make ends meet and at that time, he has lost focus and cannot learn any meaningful trade or skill due to time and age, this is how most first born male children in Nigeria become useless and end up as nodowells.


You tried by getting your brother a place to learn a skill, but the problem is, they don't learn to use left hand at old age, he has passed the age of learning skill cos he is desperate to earn money to live like a man he has become and that is why he is so fixated on finding a conductor job to earn instant cash cos that's what he has become comfortable and confident with doing as a means of earning a living.



He might also have some spiritual issues that need deliverance, so you guys must tackle it from all possible ways so no stone is left unturned but then, you need to focus on uplifting yourself first before uplifting others if not all of you will end up begging to eat forever, sadly.



Someone looking for help doesn't carry another person seeking for help. You need to save yourself first and become comfortable enough to go back and uplift those that can be uplifted, forget stories, they won't die, they will survive. If God forbids something happens to you today and you are no more, take it from me, all of them will survive without you.




First, you need to leave that house and move far away where you can stay focused on improving your own life first with less distractions from your immediate family for now. You can be sending them money when you can but from afar.


Your mom need to take your brother to MFM for deliverance, it could be that they bewitched him as a little baby while your mom was doing waka waka to save his life when he was sick as a baby, I could be wrong but doing a real self deliverance that cost no money won't be a bad move either, it will help take away all the spiritual inclination if any.



Please leave the house as soon as you can.




Can your brother do delivery using bicycle, since he loves transportation business. Let me know if he can, and is he tech savvy and can he read and write?



All the best

franchasofficia:
■ He might also have some spiritual issues that need deliverance, so you guys must tackle it from all possible ways so no stone is left unturned but then, you need to focus on uplifting yourself first before uplifting others if not all of you will end up begging to eat forever, sadly. Someone looking for help doesn't carry another person seeking for help. You need to save yourself first and become comfortable enough to go back and uplift those that can be uplifted, forget stories, they won't die, they will survive. If God forbids something happens to you today and you are no more, take it from me, all of them will survive without you.
First, you need to leave that house and move far away where you can stay focused on improving your own life first with less distractions from your immediate family for now. You can be sending them money when you can but from afar.
Your mom need to take your brother to MFM for deliverance, it could be that they bewitched him as a little baby while your mom was doing waka waka to save his life when he was sick as a baby, I could be wrong but doing a real self deliverance that cost no money won't be a bad move either, it will help take away all the spiritual inclination if any.

You mean say dem never try!

DownTime44:
I can't leave my younger siblings and mother with that my brother. I don't think they are safe living together with that my brother without my presence.
My mum has prayed and fasted on his behalf several times. Let me tell you something, my mum and late father were Muslim. We're originally from a Muslim background. My mum converted to Christian because of this my elder brother. He was seriously ill when given birth to him. They took him virtually everywhere but there was no remedy. It was our neighbour according to my parents that introduced christ to them. They came through my dad because my mum was a devoted Muslim then. My late dad had to convince my mum to take the little boy to church having gone virtually everywhere already but the sickness still persist. It takes God intervention before my mum took him to church and he recieve healing truly. My mum made a vow without being told nor compelled that she and her family will serve Jesus Christ throughout their life time. She automatically converted to Christian before she gave birth to others including me. We're known as Christian. We do go to church. Although my dad barely go to church but we do pray together as one family when he was alive. He has his own bible he read daily and he believes in Christ.

You mean say dem never seek deliverance enough ?

His problem is spiritual than physical. Don't say I didn't tell you. They will come against me now all people of little faith.

Kobojunkie:
You mean say dem never try! You mean say dem never seek deliverance enough ?

Self prayer is different from deliverance prayer.


If someone is under a spiritual bondage, there is no prayer he can pray on his or her own that will break the bondage except a true appointed man of God lays hand on him or her.



MFM deliverance have worked for so many people because you too will participate in your deliverance through self prayer while deliverance Ministers help to guide you on what Bible verses and other things to do during the deliverance period. It may work for him, it may not work but why not give it a try?



Anybody that says there is no God or supernatural power on earth is a FOOL.


I personally have tested the power of God and I am a true witness that God exist. I am not here to preach repentance to anybody cos me I am not righteous, I am still struggling with sin but I cannot deny that there is nothing like God or supernatural power on earth, there is brother.




I have had personal encounters, I don't have the strength to go into details

seguno2:


Please what happened to your sister after she was ignored
Did she straighten up? And how long after ignoring her did she straighten out?

Never mind!
Many thanks!

franchasofficia:
■ Self prayer is different from deliverance prayer.
■ If someone is under a spiritual bondage, there is no prayer he can pray on his or her own that will break the bondage except a true appointed man of God lays hand on him or her. MFM deliverance have worked for so many people because you too will participate in your deliverance through self prayer while deliverance Ministers help to guide you on what Bible verses and other things to do during the deliverance period.
■ It may work for him, it may not work but why not give it a try? Anybody that says there is no God or supernatural power on earth is a FOOL. I personally have tested the power of God and I am a true witness that God exist.
■ I am not here to preach repentance to anybody cos me I am not righteous, I am still struggling with sin but I cannot deny that there is nothing like God or supernatural power on earth, there is brother. I have had personal encounters, I don't have the strength to go into details

Really? So you mean you folks have been able to hoodwink God and bring His Word to lie by your "deliverance" prayers?
2. So, what you are saying is that God's criterion as far as these things no longer apply, and MFM's way trumps even the almighty who instead said He does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous?
3. Yet again you put it to chance rather than to God's Truth which is that He does not answer at all the prayers of the unrighteous.
4. You even have to booth a personal experience that you belief trounces God's claim that He does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous.

You see, Scripture states that God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the pleas and requests and every petition, praise, offering, work, plea, sacrifice, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins(disobedience/unholiness) and are hence an abomination to God. So, what is definite is that even your many pleas for the forgiveness of sins are not answered by God given that God made no special exemptions for that kind of plea. No amount of praying can cause God to change His mind regarding that which concerns the unrighteous by the way. So if you are thinking of prescribing more prayers that only means you really don't understand or know God at all.

God, however, openly bragged about how He only answers the prayers of the righteous; He delights in granting them the desires of their heart meaning that they are those who he loves. For this very reason, Jesus Christ urged His followers to seek first the Kingdom of God and God's Righteousness in order that all things— the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(holiness), answers to prayers included—shall be added on to them. And as Jesus Christ explained in His Gospel, the only way to become Holy, and then also Righteous, is by way of continuous submission and obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, god's Truth and Law in the Kingdom of god - John 8 vs 31 - 36 & John 14 vs 15 - 23. Jesus Christ is the only way. Obedience to the Truth of God is the one and only path to righteousness. No amount of praying and other religious rituals can accomplish that.

God deals indirectly with the unrighteous, the same way He deals with the unbelievers including the wicked and the ungrateful and that is by pouring out His mercy and kindness on them daily. So every time as an unrighteous you feel that God has answered your prayer know that at that same moment, or moments before that, God also provided the same mercy or similar to someone else across the world — or maybe just across from you— who does not even believe in God, nor asked God for anything. So, if answers from God are what you seek, then do what Jesus Christ said you should, which is to seek first the Kingdom of God(holiness), and then God's righteousness, in order that all these things —the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(including answers to prayers) can be added to you.

Oga, you have tried.
Even that man that brought him could have entered trouble. When we were kids, mums besties hubby, a big man in one of those conglomerates, pz, uac etc. Took his wife's brother to work there. The guy stole heavily. They sacked him and the man. At that age, where him wan get job again? The man never forgave his wife till death. So many instances, that is why you never help someone to a company you work. That guy tried for your brother.
Some people are not disciplined to work so forget your brother. When God blesses you, buy one korope or tricycle for him to settle himself.

DownTime44:
I was told not to give up on him. My mum will develop high Blood Pressure seeing him wasting away. I don't know what else to do sis. At times i wish i had the mind to poison him silently. He was supposed to be supporting me helping the family. Unfortunately, he was a burden.

I was told not to give up on him. How is that possible please? How else can i help him? What can i do please? This is frustrating. I can't imagine crying over my elder brother. I'm tired

My dear brother, let me tell you one experience that hurts me till this day....it is not understanding that people can have psychological problems which are not known. You might see him as u serious, unproductive etc but he just might be truly finding it hard to cope. It's not their making it's just how they are wired in the brain. Unfortunately we in Nigeria don't do mental evaluation for our difficult to understand loved ones. Which guides is to helping them in ways they can follow and function with. Most times they are left unassisted and it's difficult to support them when they grow old and set in their ways
Find him help in other ways. If you can't for now, just focus on yourself and support as your power leads.

ahnie:
Ignore him,I have a sister like your brother,they re distractions, they're always envious and bittered.

See guy,you just have to zonk him out and focus on your life,hack anything that concerns him out from your life if you really wants to live long

Annie u are selfish and wicked for saying this. By d way dat your sister which main fully help have been given to her. I know ur type. Let me tell u Charity begins at home. Not outside.

ahnie:
Mama go dey alright...my mom did.
I tell you the undiluted truth,if you like carry his matter go Golgotha,dude the guy has chosen his path in life,try live your own life,hence you go just die throway.
Sorry that's the raw truth.

Those advising you not to give up on him should atleast help you to carry his matter for 2 weeks make we see if dem nor go abandon your bros too.

Stop saying trash. DAT guy need financial assistance. May be to buy a bus 4 him. Or ask him what he love and happy doing and can do it well.

Good day Bro, Reach out to me if you do not mind at idagbaempowermentfoundation@gmail.com. We wont perform miracle overnight, but I do believe that we have and can make a difference. You graduated with 2.1...which school did you study at and what did you major in? I am sure there is a lot we can discuss. My believe is this --- every family has a David. It might be the first, second or last child. Like Ogunde once said, the head of a man cannot face calamity for 20yrs without a breakthrough. You might need to focus on yourself...so you can become the King that delivers your family. You are on the right path. You have taken the initiative....this is the beginning of greater Grace.

DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

Too bad

bummyla:
Secondly, if your brother is not a threat to your mother, you people can simply ignore him, like we did to my elder brother. He eats food when offered to him at home, when not offered he respects his self and not go near the kitchen.

He keeps to his lane! Which is sometime good!

Now some of us are doing better, we send him money from time to time, to help him keep body and soul together.

If he minds his business! Just let him be concentrate on your self and your other siblings, but please dont disrespect him!

We do not disrespect him!

We still respects him as the first born

Yeah, he shouldn't disrespect his elder brother, that's an important point to note.

DownTime44:
That will be so difficult. My mum will not support depriving him food or shelter. I don't think she can watch him or anyone else go hungry when there's food.

I wish i could disappear out of this world. I'm tired.

I know how painful this situation could be for you, but God the greatest comforter will comfort you in Jesus Name!

baby124:
This is definitely a script cause your mother is not ready. She has spoilt her son to this extent and she will keep destroying him. I personally suggest you find your way out of that house as soon as a you can and forge your own path. Let them find their way. You need to save yourself before you can save others and their mentality will hold you back. Just check in on your younger siblings and send money when you can. Your mother should also be hustling for herself and her kids not putting the burden on you! What if you were just like your brother? Will she not find the money?

They will all be fine, go and fight for yourself first and come back to help them if they can. Your mother should chase that old man out of the house to go and figure out his life if she wants to even enjoy the fruit of her labor. He’s a lazy guy.

From what I an thinking, this matter goes beyond what you are just commenting here.

It's very possible your elder brother's problem is spiritual and I suggest you don't be in a hurry to distance yourself from him rather try and see if there are people who can assist in getting his problem solved.. Am also a victim of such a situation, am the first child of my family and was doing great as a banker until I lost my job few years bank and since then it has been from one issue to the other.. Am currently battling depression couple with the fact that I later lost my mum this year to poisoning. Look, some first son passes through a lot in some family and I believe most of this situation requires prayers and God sent destiny lifter to enable some of us escape the where we finds ourselves. Giving up on him now will not help even though I know it's difficult.

Kobojunkie:
OP already submitted that his mother has been submitting to the prayer and fasting ritual for the boy since she was born. 38 years on, you want her to continue enslaved to the same ritual?

No. Not at all.

I’m talking about scientific psychological therapy.

seguno2:
■ No. Not at all. I’m talking about scientific psychological therapy.

What religious groups would that be?

Kcjosh:
■ It's very possible your elder brother's problem is spiritual and I suggest you don't be in a hurry to distance yourself from him rather try and see if there are people who can assist in getting his problem solved.. Am also a victim of such a situation, am the first child of my family and was doing great as a banker until I lost my job few years bank and since then it has been from one issue to the other.. Am currently battling depression couple with the fact that I later lost my mum this year to poisoning. Look, some first son passes through a lot in some family and [s]I believe most of this situation requires prayers and God sent destiny lifter[/s] to enable some of us escape the where we finds ourselves. Giving up on him now will not help even though I know it's difficult.

Nothing you said here is in any way unique to first sons, and rather than wait for this supposed destiny helper, I suggest you get yourself busy figuring out a way to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Only a handful are lucky enough to get someone to help, the vast majority remain stuck in the rot until the end.

DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

You've done your best, what more does he want, at least he can't go about telling people you never tried for him, he will be lying and he knows it. Focus on yourself you are not responsible for him or any of your siblings for that matter, you can only help

DownTime44:
That will be so difficult. My mum will not support depriving him food or shelter. I don't think she can watch him or anyone else go hungry when there's food.

I wish i could disappear out of this world. I'm tired.

I know i will be bashed for this...but you need a babalawo.
witchcraft is real.

DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

Brother the truth is that, I didn't get to read to the middle of of write up when I discerned that something is wrong spiritually with your brother. The point where you said you gave him money for clothes etc. Ask your mum about your family history even your dad and pray earnestly to be free.


God still hears prayers. Am a witness to God's answered prayers

DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

You can not save everyone!

Hmmmm, he is used to that daily money from the bus when he was still working...

He was going to leave but he needs someone to give him reason to stay back, all I know is that he will later adapt if he's still there.

Bros try again so that he will go back ehhh it's not easy walai make I just dey for house only weekends no money I know wetin I dey feel person wey dey work oo not to talk of person wey no dey work...

Keep trying because if nothing good come out late Na you him go dey disturb for assistance.

DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.



Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

You're serious with your life
You're brilliant and talented
You've got what it takes to excel
You should look for help for yourself, not your brother
Forget all this family cord things
Help when you've got helped

noone needs to tell you that this is more of a spiritual attack that needs an urgent deliverance!look for a good pastor that specialise on such things!!

DownTime44:
https://www.nairaland.com/7686172/been-restless-having-chat-elder


All thanks to everyone for their immense contributions towards my elder brother predicament. This place is truly home away from home. For those getting to know or who just come across this thread, you can read through the link posted above to get a grasp of where I'm coming from.


Someone sent me a mail having gone through my post and we both shared contact. He works on the island and he was willing to absorb my elder brother into his organisation. It's an organisation where one learn a skills and get paid monthly. Then after being certified in your skills, you can be employed as a full staff into the organisation. He would be given #20,000 monthly as stipend while learning as an apprentice but the man promised to be adding #10,000 to it making a total of #30,000 monthly. This person didn't know me from Adam but was touched by my brother's condition and he developed interest in helping him in his own little way. He asked me to inform my elder brother and get back to him.


I discussed everything to my brother verbally. Infact, i relate everything to him in my mother's tongue for ease of communication. I asked him if he has any interest in the offer and he said yes. He has interest. He's very much interested. He said he'd specialised in plumbing. I reached out to the man and we both finalise everything. He asked my brother when would he love to resume and he said month end. After the call, i asked him why month end and he said he doesn't have anything. He needs to get some few clothes, toiletries and some money for upkeep. I asked him where would he get money from less than 2 weeks to month end. He claimed if he can see any bus to work with. I told him you've been out of job going to a year, you didn't get any bus. Why do you think you'd get a bus within a short space of time? I asked him what if i rally round for him, is he willing to resume before the month end, he said yes with happy face. I borrowed #10,000 from a friend, i had #5,000 left with me, making a total of #15,000. I gave him 2 pairs of trousers and shirt i had. He bought a small school bag of #3,000 to put his clothes and he left in two days time. That was last week Wednesday. Oh! God, i was the happiest man on earth that very day.. I was so happy for him believing that he would become somebody from there. I called him to know if he has gotten there and how the work was. He said everything was fine.


I was surprised to see my brother at home on Friday, two days after he left. I asked him hope all is well? He said yes. I asked him why did he came back home so soon considering the cost of transportation to island. He was given a room he'd put up with. I expected him to stay there and focus on his job, whenever i have any money i would send to him. The man that helped him with the job called me later in the day. He narrated the gross misconduct of my brother. My brother left the job on Friday during working hours. The work is Monday to Saturday. Though Saturday is half day. He explained every details of the job to my brother before he resumed work. My brother was assigned to someone else to work with, not directly the man that helped him. The man only came to check up on him daily to know how he's fairing. The man was there when my brother took his bag, headed outside with the claim that he was going home. The man told him he can't go home now till after work, which is on Saturday. My brother didn't listen to the boss he was assigned with nor the man that helped him. He left right in their presence.


They do give daily report, and the man he was assigned with reported that he doesn't have anyone to work with, particularly on Saturday. The management asked him about my brother assigned to him and he said he has left on Friday. My brother was dismissed for his attitude. I pleaded to give him a second chance, but the man said it was beyond his power. The management has decided. I asked him to report there today and apologise for his gross misconduct. He went but apology wasn't accepted. If i was the man that helped my brother with this job or if i was among the management. I would do the same thing. I'd gladly lay him off without thinking twice.


My mother had been crying having heard the outcome of everything. I myself had cry my eyes out, all because of this my elder brother. I am fed up. The burden is too much. I might be tempted to harm him living under the same roof with him. I had been trying to console my mum but she wouldn't listen. Landlord came to harass her last week, the very day my elder brother left, because of house rent. I had 3 younger siblings to look after. Here comes my elder brother problem again. I am responsible for all of these with my meagre pay. I don't know what else to do for this guy. I don't think i can put up with him anymore. I am tired. Why is this life full of problems? I am losing my mind completely.

Bro, how about yhu go learn that work on yhur own
It'd add to yhur bank of knowledge and make yhu skillful for side hustles....