JumGurl:

Hey everyone!

I am new to this forum and I just want your advices, I am a girl from Belgium dating a nigerian man, And I feel like its the biggest challenge I've ever come across. As a person I am very open minded and I love to learn new cultures and different ppl from around the world BUT;

Last weekend me and my date went out to eat with his 4 other guys in a restaurant, and I am telling you, alle they did was to shout, argue - in igbo of course. I did not have fun AT ALL! I dont understand the language, and I dont wanna be asking my date every ten seconds; "what are you saying, what does this mean, etc, "

I actually think because of that night I see that I have no future/or a very complicated one, with this man cus whenever he's around someone from nigeria, I cannot be a part of the conversation, What can I do?

tellwisdom:

Apku right?? dis wan go fit swallow apku so??

rokiatu:

A Nigerian man? Good luck with that one child.

tom28:

I have heard a lot about Belgium.Its a very a country were blacks are hated.

tom28:

Just date your Belgian men and hence it would be much easier for u since  u both would be speaking the same language.

lefulefu:

no be your mates dey speak igbira and kalabari language with their naija boyfriends?

rokiatu:

A Nigerian man? Good luck with that one child.

Mrs, Chima:

Aww.  He is being rude and you need to have a talk with him.  Stress to him that if he continues speaking in his native tongue when he is around his people without giving you a heads up on what you need to know. 

You should speak your native tongue around your people and he start to get agitated and questioning your every vowels, it is the perfect time to say now you see how I felt when you did that to me. 

It could be harmless and a habit with him but sit him down and communicate with him.  If the problem continues then you have to make a decision on what you should do from there on out.

Don't stress yourself if he doesn't listen.  Some people are there for a season and some are there for eternity.  Which one is he? 

JumGurl:

Thanks for your advise,  I will take it into serious consideration! AND what do you mean by some are here for a season??

JumGurl:




This is not the first time I've heard this one, Most people tell me not to date him - not because he is black - but because he is a nigerian. It must really take a lot of effort to build up such a notorious reputation, End of that comment!
Thanks for your advise, I will take it into serious consideration! AND what do you mean by some are here for a season??

tom28:

Jumgirl to make it easier for you i suggest u date a black american or probably a caribbean man since u have a problem with him speaking his language and u want someone who speaks english.Its not a must u must date an african anyway and looking frm the way u already having a problem with him speaking his language i would say your relationship is already heeded for a big crash.

Mrs, Chima:

Meaning everyone that comes into our lives aren't meant to stay.  There are three types of people in our lives: leaves, branches, and roots.

tom28:

Let me guesss
Your friends told u not to date him because nigerian men are scammers,have multipile babies all over the place and whats such.Jeez u must really be thinking u doing this your igbo boyfriend a huge favour dating him. .Is he an illegal immigrant by the way?

JumGurl:

Wow - you are really filled with prejudices, You wanna know what ppl tell me? You sure you can handle it?

JumGurl:

Yeah, I guess ppl hear a lot about belgium - I've heard that Nigeria is a country where whites are hated, 
Soooo, if the whole world just dated a person from his/her own country/tribe/religion, how would you think the world would be?
Am I supposed to understand this comment?
This is not the first time I've heard this one,  Most people tell me not to date him - not because he is black - but because he is a nigerian. It must really take a lot of effort to build up such a notorious reputation,  End of that comment!
Thanks for your advise,  I will take it into serious consideration! AND what do you mean by some are here for a season??

lefulefu:

Go and learn his language and quit whining

lefulefu:

Go and learn his language and quit whining

tom28:

She is asking if i can handle it ; their D
What worse can u say about nigerians that i havent heard?.Look jumgurl i live in the USA and the USA is a place were ppl get sterotyped on account of their heritage or the colour of their skin.The US is a place were it is beleived that all arabs are terrorist,all africans live on treetops and have tails between their legs,all mexicans eat tacos and they sell oranges and all black americans are thugs and sag their trousers.So i have across real hardcore ppl with prejudices and what u say would just be what other ppl say about nigerians.Your country for example has a very racist history.If i recall many yrs back your Govt was responsible for the million deaths of africans in the congo in the slave camps.We all remember the belgian atrocites in the congo and the way the average belgian views ppl of dark skin colour.

seedord247:

I think you are applying some make up to your brain this day. . . Thumps up

Try and get one for your brother tell-wisdom . . . . . so that he can post reasonable and sensible comment rather than blabbing all over the thread.

JumGurl:

Haha,  Could you please provide me with the address of an belgian (speaking english is ok) igbo teacher? Good luck with that!

Ok ok, so the fact that you are sourrounded by prejudice ppl in your daily life makes you feel like you should do the same? Dont you think that - taken the fact that you've seen the "light" - should be a better example? Why diss like everyone else?
To get back to the facts; ppl tell me that nigerians are
- only in europe to get paper so that
- they can get a job where they make good money so that
- they can send the money back home and show off with expensive cars, houses, clothes etc (or at least his family can) OR the wife back home can feed fufu to their 11 children
- that they cheat as they see sight of a skirt
- that they are all illegal
- all scammers.

I cud go on - but just to mention, this is NOT my view, this is some og the opinions I got from others!

lefulefu:

jumgurl pancake a$$ u want to start us nigerians on a nigerian site huh?