abidem4real:

People like you probably went to school but unfortunately, school didn't go through them. The writer begged for sensible opinionists in her writing and since you know you are berieved of even an iota of sense, you should have kept quiet.

see grammar! Work on your semantics before I can indulge you any sort of conversation. Bye SIMP!!

I don't blame you. Walahi na the Man I blame

How will I be killing myself over a single mother of two? How? When?Where? For what?

Laiye..

Not even one?Two? When there are far better women that haven't dropped a child na woman wey don born pickin I go say I wan marry

Who does that?

But you didn't tell us say the man don dey knack you 🤪🤪🤪🤪

If you don't find the person you're with physically attractive, you'd always seek out other people.

But women grow to love men and might even stay loyal to him.

A man, on the other hand, who doesn't find you physically attractive would never do so. He'd wake up to you in the morning and be pissed off. Men are very visual beings.

It matters.

Tizu:
But you didn't tell us say the man don dey knack you 🤪🤪🤪🤪

Maybe you are confusing me with your mum.

DissTroy:
If you don't find the person you're with physically attractive, you'd always seek out other people.

But women grow to love men and might even stay loyal to him.

A man, on the other hand, who doesn't find you physically attractive would never do so. He'd wake up to you in the morning and be pissed off. Men are very visual beings.

It matters.

True, when the euphoria of being ‘married to a rich man’ settles, what next?? What’s the point of marrying someone you are not genuinely satisfied with? Because some people think you don’t have choices because you are a single mum, people who have their own issues they are dealing with too.

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

a single mother still selective

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyV3F986pI4

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

Madam, the fact that you are asking this question means that it matters to you. Don't do it for pecuniary benefits.
Can you be able to respect the senior wife after you give him a baby, especially a boy? Most women can't o. The current wife WILL eventually display some level of unease and fear, which can turn into resentment and possibly more. Has the man and wife tried IVF and truly everything else?

How will your children cope?

Your mind has already accepted, just that you want a little convinces cos from the way of things, you don't want to let go of him. Just follow your heart

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

In all honesty, and from the responses you have given to nairalanders above, I think you are more than capable of living alone and raising your kids all by yourself, because even after you married and sought of divorced/separated, you still seek an ideal man who from your description, will deserve a young attractive single lady he can connect with.
Ist of all, I realized that instead of ignoring those who responded with banters and insults, you were ready to confront them and show how independent you are, which wasn't necessary.

Secondly for you to be in your early 30's, you should know by now that physical attractiveness though important, is not a deal-breaker for relationships/marriage but rather character, compatibility, love and shared values which makes me doubt your level of maturity or growth a bit. Please no insults intended, I am just making observations and I may be wrong.

Lastly, that your problem is the physical attribute of the man and not that he has a wife says a lot about you and may even mirror in why your previous marriage didn't work. Every marriage has its own challenges and bearing children might be their own challenge, but you thinking of jumping in as a solution reeks of selfishness & seeking after only your happiness at the expense of the wife.

Hiaaaa

TheUnsure:


You saw the sensible contributions part and you still went ahead, your second hand mum didnt try at all.

You will learn to ignore trolls and respond to those you feel have sensible contributions.

TheUnsure:


You are funny, oya clap for yourself.

joke apart, he's very right... Face reality, no tall fine boy with money that have lot of young beautiful women at his disposal will settle for a 30+ single mum of two... No hard feelings, it's just fact... I'm really surprised that you have the leisure to be selective.. Seriously u should be grateful..

Kemadealadire:

I am not. What's funny 🙄

Baby making machine (Women)
Baby donating machine (Men)

So I can call you a baby making machine or mobile manufacturing factory?

He has a wife but your problem is his height. I see ...

Is his first wife ok with you in the picture?

Ashawoman82:
joke apart, he's very right... Face reality, no tall fine boy with money that have lot of young beautiful women at his disposal will settle for a 30+ single mum of two... No hard feelings, it's just fact... I'm really surprised that you have the leisure to be selective.. Seriously u should be grateful..

Thanks for the disguised insults. Being a single mother is not the end of the world my dear, you only have as many choices as you give yourself. Yes I’m allowed to be selective, I know my worth and what I’m capable of. Save this speech for the ‘pickmeshas’.

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

I'm blessed to meet someone like you on NL.
It's a special blessing to know who you are and to have standards. However, our standards must not be too superficial and must align with God's will.

Concerning this man, only God can reveal if he's right for you. What I can perceive is, for him to be adamant on sex, he might just switch up on you after that.
Royal families are a battlefield, you have to be spiritually strong in Christ to marry into one.
Even a certain Olori who was spiritually strong couldn't handle it.

My counsel is simple;
Pros:
-He is caring.
-He loves you.
-He is generous.

Cons:
-His height. Ironically God has a sense of humor with these things. The man's lineage needs your height.lol
-Royal family- this could be a major con if he's idolatrous. But could be a Pro if he's Christian (Born-again and Spirit-filled.)
-He's asking for sex before marriage a major no-no. I understand his fears due to the situation of his first wife but you can't disobey God to satisfy him.

Pray about it and let God guide you. Seek counsel from your pastor but more importantly let God guide you.

TheUnsure:


I've been on my own since I was 27, so I'm supposed to live the rest of my life alone When I didn't kill anybody

As a mother of two, your chances of getting married to your dream Man in this our society is slim.

You should know your priorities.

As for me, i would rather remain single than to be with someone that I'm not attracted to, while some would choose to stay with who they are not attracted to than to be lonely, so i think it's about priority.

Let your instincts lead you.

Religion = Opposite

Statue = opposite

Position = second wife

So many red flags, but because of the properties, you are giving it a consideration.

Your decision should tally with the potential happiness of your kids, not just for your selfish interest.


I see future regret it you go on with it.

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

Face your kids. You have to want it too.

TheUnsure:
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls.

I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons.

He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him.

My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that.
I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but....

I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake...

No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks

Before i tell you my mind, you have to clarify me first.

Why are you a single mother of 2?

Is your husband late?

Or did you show him pepper and dumped you?

.

TheUnsure:


True, when the euphoria of being ‘married to a rich man’ settles, what next?? What’s the point of marrying someone you are not genuinely satisfied with? Because some people think you don’t have choices because you are a single mum, people who have their own issues they are dealing with too.

They get on Facebook or Instagram and stay online even by 12:00AM to chat up young good-looking or attractive men, and even send raunchy pictures of themselves unsolicited.
Randomly complimenting the young men's looks even though they boldly have their husbands and kids pictures up.

Some get away with it, some get caught and shamed. Fodder for Facebook and Instagram sex scandals we read daily.

We've seen too many things, bro. There's a reason that young married woman is online by 11PM. You'd be shocked to find out what she's doing.

Exmilitant:
Second hand woman. second hand cloth. second hand woman. second hand wey men don use finish dump.

e pain you

You sure say you get sense… I guess you must be under age. She asked for advice not insult. Chai!

quote author=Mountbatten post=124758724]So let me get this straight.

• You are a single mother, with two kids who's over 30 years old.
• A man who is rich, caring, generous and with the possibility of becoming a king in a few years is interested in you.
• He's married, you're not keen on royal family ties, and he's too short for you.

Why are you wasting time dealing with someone you clearly have no interest in? Did you post this to seek validation because I really don't understand the point of this post?

If you're truly doing great financially then focus on your kids ffs! You seem shallow and you didn't give us a background as to how you ended up as a single mum with 2 kids.

No man who is tall, rich, caring and generous will want anything to do with you as they have better options. Why would they even consider you? Men generally don't like raising other men's kids.[/quote]
You are blessed, what will a guy of the attributes she mentioned now come for a woman that's a single mother of 2, has she asked her self this question?
I don't want to sound pessimist, No young guy will like to marry a single mother, raising another person's child.
It's funny to me though.

TheUnsure:


I've been on my own since I was 27, so I'm supposed to live the rest of my life alone When I didn't kill anybody

follow your heart o, but all those tall guys who are your spec where are they now?

TheUnsure:



Thanks for the disguised insults. Being a single mother is not the end of the world my dear, you only have as many choices as you give yourself. Yes I’m allowed to be selective, I know my worth and what I’m capable of. Save this speech for the ‘pickmeshas’.

well, I understand, but you should simmer it a bit..try and target widowers or divorcee men though, don't come an tie one innocent young man down because he's your spec.

Exmilitant:
see grammar! Work on your semantics before I can indulge you any sort of conversation. Bye SIMP!!

What happened to the grammar? Little wonder you have no sense.

Ashawoman82:
well, I understand, but you should simmer it a bit..try and target widowers or divorcee men though, don't come an tie one innocent young man down because he's your spec.

Lol, you will be alright.

TheUnsure:


Lol, you will be alright.

just dey play