Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,155,400 members, 7,826,555 topics. Date: Monday, 13 May 2024 at 03:58 PM

Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? (31479 Views)

My Girlfriend Threaten To End Our Relationship Because Of Her Pastor / I Feel Like Quitting My Relationship Because Of This / I Need Advice Regarding A New Relationship (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by sirjamesjnr(m): 4:15pm On Sep 14, 2023
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"

. If your story is real, please 🏃
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by NoToPile: 4:16pm On Sep 14, 2023
He's not a christain
He has not so good attitudes.

One advice

Run.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by optm(m): 4:20pm On Sep 14, 2023
There are red flags everywhere and one thing i know is that the guy isn't a Christian. Use your tongue to count your teeth
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by delishpot: 4:20pm On Sep 14, 2023
That's how they end up marrying idiots. Does she need advice before she dumps such a useless boy?
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Error401: 4:24pm On Sep 14, 2023
If you do love him and willing to settle down with him, tell him what you need for the relationship to work, tell him everything you have written here. You should show sign of commitment else you personally dont want him as a spouse.
If he wants to be treated as a husband, you shoulkd be respected as a wife. You should be careful with him because he seems kind of stingy. I am not a simp but I understand responsibility, if you need to eat good food, you have to pay for it, and even add gift for job well done. Try to access him if you really wish to have your forever with him, you can discuss this issues with him physically and sort it.
For the sex part, why take so long if you are not a virgin. Personally, I wouldnt stay a month with a girl without sex. I feel the woman dosent love me enough

UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"

Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Gboom: 4:30pm On Sep 14, 2023
@OP
You are dealing with a wolf in sheep clothing, please run for ya dear life
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by optimusprime2(m): 4:30pm On Sep 14, 2023
Do you need one star to fall from the sky to tell you what to do?
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Expanse2020(m): 4:34pm On Sep 14, 2023
He simply want to be sexing you and take advantage of he has nothing to offer..walk away before it's too late if only what you typed here were right.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Nobody: 4:35pm On Sep 14, 2023
folake4u:
I really hate manipulative and entitled individuals (whether male or female).

See the werey demanding you to cook sef. I personally have a problem with that. undecided
grin grin

I thought this act of demanding home service chef only exit on Nl until it happened to me recently . Omooooh i just jump and pass grin grin

Funny it came from "in the abroad brother" so I will have to take flight grin grin
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by LordIsaac(m): 4:36pm On Sep 14, 2023
izonborn098:
If u happen to be my blood sister and everything u write there is true then don't get close to that guy again since u haven't share any deep emotion with him..
I agree. I hope she listens! This is a clear case of divorce before marriage loading cheesy
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by chatinent: 4:36pm On Sep 14, 2023
ThatCEO:


E be like Na only you see wetin I dey observe, everybody dey bash the guy

In as much as that guy doesn't look like he is up to any good, that girl will frustrate the life out of anyone that has anything to do with her. She is will be a difficult person to live with, I can smell the stubbornness. There is a reason why they get old without anyone coming for them.

She said something like "I cook for my ex, but that's because it really came from my heart." We will have to wait for her heart before we chop food be that na

Spot on.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by IamMobisola(f): 4:50pm On Sep 14, 2023
The RED FLAGS on this guy are flowing like a river about to drown you but you are still giving it a thought. Issokay. 🤭
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Exceed15: 4:53pm On Sep 14, 2023
Both of you don't share same principles so please disengage fast and find one that respect your values ( and that's if he is not pretentious)
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Emaprince: 4:54pm On Sep 14, 2023
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"

My sincere advice : LEAVE that guy now!!!

He is confirm manipulator.

First off...he sneaked your number from a whatsapp group and claimed he prayed over it. All na wash. Then he was so quick to want you sleeping over or him stylishly sleeping over at your place. That guy saw your pic in chat and only wanted to sleep with you through the guise of marriage. Some guys sef.

Then he went further to be demanding that you cook for him... with your money for that matter. That guy is the type that will demand that you submit your salaries to him. The type that loves to deceive women with fake love and milk them dry. Sadly, their types dey get women easily....so undecided

If you know what's good for you, better run now that you can. Atleast you have nothing to lose, especially as he never chop you yet.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Emaprince: 4:59pm On Sep 14, 2023
Wait...the OP is not even the women.

Nonsense.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Shawl001(m): 4:59pm On Sep 14, 2023
Pls, leave that relationship.

A Christian brother shouldn't be demanding for sex, when you are not married to him.

Ę they somehow.

That's the first red flag.
Quit it.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by kinkydude: 5:09pm On Sep 14, 2023
This goon is up to some no good. He can communicate, so what? Tell him to get off your back
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Kobojunkie: 5:10pm On Sep 14, 2023
LordIsaac:
■ I agree. I hope she listens! This is a clear case of divorce before marriage loading cheesy
Divorce is not a crime nor a sin; It is legally recognized exit from a marriage that is going nowhere in exchange for peace of mind. What is a crime against oneself is enduring violence or unhappiness in marriage because one does not want a divorce. undecided
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by yahoodetector: 5:12pm On Sep 14, 2023
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"


He doesn't love you.

He wants to use you as a cook and an object for sexual gratification. You better run!

By the way, I know say na yoruba guy e go be. Na them dey too do this kin rubb!sh lifestyle
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by MightySparrow: 5:15pm On Sep 14, 2023
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"


RUN O.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Tyktoker: 5:16pm On Sep 14, 2023
You are ignoring too many red flags already and it may cost you much latter if you settle for such an immature adult like that. His types get away with anything no matter how stupid by supporting it with scriptures quoted upside down if it's home here. He is used to doing same to ladies back home here already because the mentality here is graduate and marry anything for your life to be complete. Better thread cautiously else you end up in marriage, then he will offload all his baggages on you, he has a lot to deal with emotionally, his self-awareness is zero. In fact he doesn't know what he wants yet. He has left Nigeria Nigeria has not left him, be careful!
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"

Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Jefferyhi86(m): 5:24pm On Sep 14, 2023
Abeg gettat
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by NaijaElba(m): 5:29pm On Sep 14, 2023
Christain brother isonu. Better shine your eyes.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by jaszplus12(m): 5:30pm On Sep 14, 2023
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"

All the signs of a narcissist displayed! Sister jus pick race leave that guyman! Conji hold am tight and he knows no female citizen of that country will take it lightly with him it's why he chose you!!! Run!!
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by deekseen(m): 5:31pm On Sep 14, 2023
All the wrong signs are there. Run far away!
UnconventionalT:

Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Godwin25king: 5:35pm On Sep 14, 2023
Red flags, Red flags, Red flags grin

Dump!!!
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by PeachtreeReside(f): 6:01pm On Sep 14, 2023
Because he came with the Christian angle, your guard is lowered lower than the Earth.

He is looking for who to cook for him for free and sleep with.

Break up with him already.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by valentineuwakwe(m): 6:02pm On Sep 14, 2023
Abeg leave that so called Christian brother.....he is after your body!
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by folake4u(f): 6:15pm On Sep 14, 2023
Persephone1:
grin grin

I thought this act of demanding home service chef only exit on Nl until it happened to me recently . Omooooh i just jump and pass grin grin

Funny it came from "in the abroad brother" so I will have to take flight grin grin

Lmao. No oh. Things dey occur. grin grin

Yesssss. Those "in the abroad brothers" particularly do that nonsense. I have experienced it too.

This fool grown man thought I'd be all over him because he's a German citizen. He told me to come and cook "small rice" for him. And then the emotional manipulation.

I told him I don't know how to cook oh.
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by Nobody: 6:29pm On Sep 14, 2023
folake4u:


Lmao. No oh. Things dey occur. grin grin

Yesssss. Those "in the abroad brothers" particularly do that nonsense. I have experienced it too.




Maybe they miss homemade food or they are yet to realize that nobody owes them good food if they can't make it themselves. This one even went on to smear his ex saying she can't Cook, can't take care of the house bla bla. He asked if I'm different, lol I changed the topic. I was like so you expect me to start listing my qualities because you are what exactly? grin grin
Later on chat, he still asked the same question. At that moment, I jumped and pass grin grin grin grin

Lol do they lack good food or what? grin
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by vikstandon(m): 6:31pm On Sep 14, 2023
UnconventionalT:
Copied smiley

"I am a Nigerian student living in Scotland, A Nigerian Christian guy got in touch with me via WhatsApp and asked for a relationship, saying he got my number off a church whatsapp group that I haven't been to for almost a year now. He said he's prayed about me and God has told him we are good to go. He is a student too.
I was single at the time and haven't been with a Christian brother before, so I decided to give it a chance. It's roughly 2 months and I am at the point where I want to quit.

We got talking on the platform and also through calls, about a week into our relationship/talking stage he asked me to come to his place and cook for him so he can have enough food for the coming week. I was surprised because we hadn't even seen each other at that at time. I told him I cannot, he made a big deal out of it and said stuff like it's not a big deal for me to do that as his wife to be. We got over that and arranged to see for the first time, he suggested my house and I said I don't feel comfortable with either of us seeing for the first time in our houses and we finally concluded on a Bugger King outlet which isn't far from my house. This didn't go well with him tho.

We met for the first time and talked, after that he said he wanted to know my place as it isn't far from Burger King. He came to my place and stayed in my bed till around past 10pm, he tried touching and kissing, I told him I wasn't comfortable and he needed to leave because of time. He got annoyed said his intentions was to stay over at my place, he already told his housemate he isn't coming back home and it's so late now to go back. I told him I cannot allow him sleep at my house for the first time we're meeting, I have a small single bed and you intentionally didn't even say you'd sleep over before. He grudgingly left and dropped 3 packs of youghurt and a bag of unfried chips which I later discovered where all expired at the time he dropped them.

I told him about it and he made a mess out of the situation. He attends a pentecostal church and critisizes other churches, he doesn't really believe in adult taking responsibility for their actions as the devil is most likely responsible for everything, we simply have to pray against the devil.
He's asked for sex multiple times in less than 1 month, I stopped talking to him one time for about 2 weeks and we picked up again. He said he doesn't have to penetrate, we can do every other things to satisfy our flesh. He said doing all that with him is the proof of my love for him which I have strongly disagreed. Sex isn't a prove of love, we are adults and can have protected sex with anyone without loving them.
The only single thing I enjoy about him is that we communicate well, he talks a lot too and that makes our communication half argument, he finds fault in any little thing and blows it out of proportion. I have told him I don't have strength for argument in marriage since we won't be arguing over minute things that get him pissed off now.

Both of us have been getting multiple 12 hours night shifts from work and two nights ago, he asked me what he was going to eat when he gets home the following morning, I knew he was up to something. I told him I can't say, we don't live together and I don't know what you currently have at home. I suggested he buys bread on his way back home. He then asked me to cook for him to eat the following morning, I sincerely let him know I have no soup or stew myself. His response changed and he later called me on same subject, citing how I don't care enough about him to be concerned about how he is gonna eat since he's been working few nights now, he compared himself to a married man that always brings food to work at his workplace. Even gave the guy his phone to talk to me, that one too said I should do things in my power to make my man happy.

I tried to make him understand he isn't married and it might be difficult to enjoy what his married frnd is enjoying. Youve never bought me foodstuff, you haven't worked before and sent me 50 pounds or less for groceries, we are both working night shifts and I sort my own food, why are you angry I can't make out time out of my rest period to come cook at your house to stuck your fridge?

I have been in relationship where I cooked, I personally enjoy cooking, but I have never been with a man that feels to entitled to me doing that for him. He says I'm supposed to be the one cooking for him. He also believes in women abroad sharing bills, but he is too traditional to share house chores"


Why copied... Ain't you the originator?
Re: Should I Call Off My New Relationship Because Of This?? by isabi2lof: 6:36pm On Sep 14, 2023
You better speak to your legs , just for sex only undecided , that's why i am tired of all these guys , claiming to be born again, everything around them is sex and nothing more.

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

Help!!! How Do I Change My Father's Mode Of Dressing. / My 4 Generations And Still Counting / When Is The Right Time To Tell Him/Her Of A Child From Previous Relationship?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 165
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.