Is this a topic for Sunday, really.....?!
Christ-like people, go in love and not fear.
Two have become one must be fulfilled as that is the mission.
Failing and falling is part of the journey.
A man mustn't be lazy so as a wife must be loyal.
As humans, we are guided by principles- those that will last.
The days now and ahead are shrouded in mystery, so brave up as a team and fulfill. The end tells it all.
There's nothing new.
,

JOACHINpedro:

Na woman be op

Irrespective of the Ops gender, everyone should do whatever can sustain their marriage.

Kobojunkie:
Stop blaming the women for adhering to what has been culturally passed down from your ancestors. The typical Nigerian man enters into marriage to serve as the sole winner and in exchange he gets the respect and submission of his Nigerian wife. The woman is basically expected to surrender her self-will and even her dreams to exist under the man and in exchange he takes over responsibility for all of her financial needs and that of the family that results from the union. That is what is Nigerian culture and tradition to this day. Ask the man next to you if you are not aware of this. So, stop blaming the women for staying on script.

There is a paradigm shift bro. I have followed many debated about this topic online and it's clear to me yhat even men who pay ALL the bills do not get submission and respect in the end. And in any case you are not getting married to the community.

I think the best thing is to have a clear understanding with the person you are about to marry. Let him or her know in clear terms what the financial responsibility matrix will look like. There is no rule cast in stone. I know couples who have a fixed amount they both contribute to the home welfare every month and it works for them.

The problems with most ladies is their entitlement mentality. Marriage is not poverty alleviation scheme especially when you are also have a good job as a woman.

My money is my money. My husband money is our money ....this mentality has destroyed many home because the lady feels it's a crime to do certain things in the home.

As for me I think marriage is sweeter if you take away all these shackles of tradition that makes the man a sole provider and the woman subservient. It's doesn't work!

Both parties are adults and should join hands to together to achieve great things in life. Be open to your husband, be open to your wife. Let the love respect, openness and vulnerability be mutual

If you don't see eye to eye on domestic expenses, how Will you two join forces together to build wealth for your children?

Of course, women are not good with power and authority...

I always say it that a lot of women has been scammed into this providing stuff, real scam.


Very simple a man should be able to provide 3 basic necessities.

1.Chopmoni - feeding
2.Shelter - house rent
3.School fees.


Those are major dutiesof a Man, there are others too but those 3 up there is very essential.

The same set of people that are seeing nothing wrong in women paying the rent are the same that can't help women in their own duty.
Make everyone face him cross.

TimT:

"Women are not meant to love"... where did you hear such statement?? Are women not human being? Why can't they love?

go and read your Bible very well, women are to be submissive while men are to love thier wife, they're emotional being already,

I no dey shame...infact i go turn am to joke when she said she is the one doing everything in this house. My wife do pay rent, pay school fees and lend me money for business. Mind you not all the time because I no be lazy Man

NorthernersSuck:


It is, but after that the whole wide wide world go hear it

just like the whole wide wide world go dey hear when some men would threaten to throw out their wives things out of "their house".

kayperry:




I think most are getting the message all wrong, nothing is bad with "assistance" the problem or should i say the challenge here is "post assistance" experience cos of the nature of women

No doubt a woman can assist you buh from that day as a man you've started losing whatever respect she has for you,

its easy for your elder bro to tell you his wife his an angel, blah blah he supported him and gave 2.5m buh what most men tend to keep confidential is the insult & humiliation they see from "my wife help me".

i borrowed money from my babe then just one time and gave her a payback date buh because we had a small misunderstanding i know the things my eye saw , immediately i had to collect quick loan and settle it and from that moment she was dating herself.

No be every woman dey give wahala over assistance but 90% of wives will furstrate & humiliate you "post assistance", only a complete shameless man can miss it

your elder bro might be luck but he not telling you everything

This is the exact point I tried to address in my post. If you are a woman and you think that contributing to the home in a meaningful way is a licensee to disrespect the man who has been shouldering the same responsibility for years then your head need examining.

Women want the man to evolve from patriarchy but at the same time they themselves are not ready to have a progressive mindset.

As a woman what is your joy if you stack up millions in your account while the man is struggling to take care of the family all in the name of culture and tradition? Heard the story of a woman that died of sickness while the husband was struggling to pay her medical bill. Alas she had more than enough money in her account to afford a foreign hospital but mentality of my money is my money killed her. She became stingy even to herself!

As for me I will make it clear and both parties will sign. No woman will come and kill me with problem of marriage. This stress is the reason why some men die too early. The man is not a financial slave neither is the woman a domestic slave.

Let each contribute in meaningful way to the family. It is your home for crying out loud

TimT:
Why? Is it not money she is using? Why degrading women?
Some men just carry empty head and call it brain...
Is it a crime let a married woman pay house rent?
Is it not thesame house they both stay?
So if something happens that the man cannot afford the rent, the woman will sit back and wait for what landlord will do, knowing full well that she has the money to pay?
Or if she is willing to pay, masculine pride shouldn't allow me to agree!!!
We so much hold high esteem of ourselves about marriages yet many are living in bondage...
You all are saying women shouldn't pay rent or feed the man, yet you all are saying "a woman who can't bring anything to the table isn't worth been married to"...
Confusion left and right...
No worry, just allow pride Nd ego allow landlord pack Ur bag throw ..

E get why

dkidd:

I know where u and op are coming from but a lot of ignorant boys will learn the hard way much later. This applies to 90% of women. If u want to die happy never allow ur wife take charge of the home affairs else u die miserably daily even while ur alive and breathing. She will kill u mentally, emotionally and psychologically until u have no self esteem left then u die off naturally a shadow of urself. Women are not meant to shoulder these responsibilities but the understanding ones can support. It's the reason u see most of those who can afford to do it for themselves act like it's a great deal and start claiming boss ladies for being able to pay their own bills 😁

The bolded is a lie that has been told for far too long. And I'm happy that young guys of nowadays have woken up to the scam. This belief is an error and has no root in culture or religion.

In marriage both of you are one and should bear each others burdens. If you are a lady and you intend to marry with this kind of mentally please look for the families of dangote otedla, bill gates and the likes else you are just decieving yourself especially if you have a stable career or business.

This is not 1970 when your father was most likely the sole breadwinner and your mother was stay at home mom. Lose the entitlement mentallty y'all. And I will add as a guy double your Hustle and be responsible. Both parties should see the need of the home as their responsibility and join hands together to make it a happy home

Tallesty1:
My marriage is 50- 50. We split everything down to light bill.

Even if thieves come to our house, two of us will go get the door because there is no head in the marriage. We equal like that.

I am a feminist.

Y'all should be

For real?

Why if I may ask oh, why Well the only woman that paid my rent was my late mum. I got to a stage in life I started supporting her with rent. Now that some of us v houses our mums are no more. God bless all good mums.

Imredeemed:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN... I come in peace

Oh! Never me find myself in such conditions to allow my wife pay rent. It’s not in my tribe or something to boast for . Abeg 🙏

HopeSpencer:
At a time when we just spent 4months out of 1 year rent, my wife asked me that we should move out because she fought with a co-tenant and said she didn't want to set eyes on the co-tenant again. I said I wasn't prepared for this as I needed time to gather money for next year rent. She offered to drop money from her savings. We got a new apartment. And she became my boss. Come and see humiliation. I wept on several occasions because I'm not a type of person that engages in physical fight. I don't even use abusive words. Whatever I say on nairaland is just catching cruise.

I looked for money and rented a room. I didn't move out my things like chairs, bed etc because my daughter needs them. I left forever.

She told relatives that I left our home and never looked back. Relatives reminded her that she told them she was the one paying all bills since the beginning and that she should thank God that the burden was removed. That's when I got to know about the lie that she was the one paying bills.

In my next life, I will prefer to be a gay.

.

I know I can do this

kayperry:




I think most are getting the message all wrong, nothing is bad with "assistance" the problem or should i say the challenge here is "post assistance" experience cos of the nature of women

No doubt a woman can assist you buh from that day as a man you've started losing whatever respect she has for you,

its easy for your elder bro to tell you his wife his an angel, blah blah he supported him and gave 2.5m buh what most men tend to keep confidential is the insult & humiliation they see from "my wife help me".

i borrowed money from my babe then just one time and gave her a payback date buh because we had a small misunderstanding i know the things my eye saw , immediately i had to collect quick loan and settle it and from that moment she was dating herself.

No be every woman dey give wahala over assistance but 90% of wives will furstrate & humiliate you "post assistance", only a complete shameless man can miss it

your elder bro might be luck but he not telling you everything

See , what think the "post assistance" insult will come if you as a man is not capable and most things are by the woman's money which they don't like. The house chop more than 15m, so 2.5m is just a small fraction.

Women tend to dish insult when everything is on them. Women are wired to receive and provide assistance, they will only ridicule a man when they become fully in charge in one way or the other.

A reasonable one who knows that her man has tried will be happy to help - trust me. Unless na woman wey no love her husband

zoghys:


Do let your wife pay your rent or your kids school fees no matter what. A word is enough for the wise.

No to paying house rent?
No to paying school fees, right?
No to feeding the family, definitely?
No to building the house, of course?
No to buying the family car, sure?
Then what financial contribution a woman who earns, is then going to do in the home?

Imredeemed:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN... I come in peace

Trash
What difference does it make. You didn't allow her to pay rent but you are collecting money worth the rent value and above from her

BGSM:
Please don’t allow your wife to pay house rent, children school fees and family feedings. Let her use her discretion without you forcing or dictating to her to support you in doing any of the mentioned above. Any time she emphasizes on anything she has done in the house, then stop her from doing it, may God continue to provide for you and always do things within your limit. Note, most women have no brain 🧠 until calamity set in before they know the reality of life. From people experience and research.

Are you married?

lailo:

No to paying house rent?
No to paying school fees, right?
No to feeding the family, definitely?
No to building the house, of course?
No to buying the family car, sure?
Then what financial contribution a woman who earns, is then going to do in the home?

People are bringing up all these because of the thinking and character of today's women.

Nursepepeye:
go and read your Bible very well, women are to be submissive while men are to love thier wife, they're emotional being already,

Sorry I'm not a Christian... c

Iamzik:


The bolded is a lie that has been told for far too long. And I'm happy that young guys of nowadays have woken up to the scam. This belief is an error and has no root in culture or religion.

In marriage both of you are one and should bear each others burdens. If you are a lady and you intend to marry with this kind of mentally please look for the families of dangote otedla, bill gates and the likes else you are just decieving yourself especially if you have a stable career or business.

This is not 1970 when your father was most likely the sole breadwinner and your mother was stay at home mom. Lose the entitlement mentallty y'all. And I will add as a guy double your Hustle and be responsible. Both parties should see the need of the home as their responsibility and join hands together to make it a happy home

Well I guess u were too quick to reply my post without really digesting the message. I said they're not meant to shoulder the responsibilities not share as it should be. Leaving the burden on their shoulders and to handle alone is what I'm talking about bro. Maybe i wasn't clear enough sha. My woman supports me in every way she can but doesn't mean I would leave everything to her because she earns too. She's able to handle things for herself and our daughter wether I have in abundance or not because she understands we are in it together so I don't get this ur preaching that's a normal way of how it should be. U aren't saying anything new. And u bringing my parents into this is disrespectful. U don't know me. FYI both my parents are very educated and kept their work until she had to resign on his instructions and start up a biz. My mom wasn't idle or a lazy woman even though the husband was capable of making provisions for everything. I am only advising against allowing ur wife to be the sole breadwinner and taking charge not against partners sharing or making the burden easy on themselves. It's a partnership for a reason. Learn to understand before responding next time. Enjoy your day

Gratefullheart:
man have the sole responsibility to take care of it's family,bringing something to the table as a wife means paying for the children school fees when daddy cannot meet up,feeding herself and her children, meeting some other financial needs in the Family....but house rent and feeding for the Man himself should not be done by the Wife...Obirin...Sora fun Obirin

Nobody said it's the sole responsibility of the woman to pay rent...

Vinnie2000:


My Brother, NEVER you try it.

As a Married man, you give away your HEADSHIP to your Wife
when you allow her Pay Rent or School fees for the Children. 😟😌

These TWO things are Sacrosanct and exclusively for the Man.😒

Let her take the head, when I was even the head she no talk,she no do as she like,she no flaunt my order on the basis of she is not a slave.abet! Who head help, pay bills joor,I can't come and go and die

Op u re experienced man, mostly wen ur inlaws re doing very well in terms wealth, n u the hubby may be ok on the average, just be praying for ur wife everyday to be calming down. If not, even sex u will beg for it. Men should strive hard ohh to make money.. Neva allow a woman to contribute to the running of the home. Even buying her clothes pls dnt if not the angel u think is ur wife will someday use all of this against u. Women are naturally like dat.

Paramount01:



Let her take the head, when I was even the head she no talk,she no do as she like,she no flaunt my order on the basis of she is not a slave.abet! Who head help, pay bills joor,I can't come and go and die

LoL u dey complain because she probably doesn't respect u from this ur comment. When u resign everything to her like ur sounding now if u no run leave that house make I know why. Person never dey in charge and she dey treat u like this and u are praying for her to be the head. Na die u dey be that. Safe journey 😁

dkidd:

Well I guess u were too quick to reply my post without really digesting the message. I said they're not meant to shoulder the responsibilities not share as it should be. Leaving the burden on their shoulders and to handle alone is what I'm talking about bro. Maybe i wasn't clear enough sha. My woman supports me in every way she can but doesn't mean I would leave everything to her because she earns too. She's able to handle things for herself and our daughter wether I have in abundance or not because she understands we are in it together so I don't get this ur preaching that's a normal way of how it should be. U aren't saying anything new. And u bringing my parents into this is disrespectful. U don't know me. FYI both my parents are very educated and kept their work until she had to resign on his instructions and start up a biz. My mom wasn't idle or a lazy woman even though the husband was capable of making provisions for everything. I am only advising against allowing ur wife to be the sole breadwinner and taking charge not against partners sharing or making the burden easy on themselves. It's a partnership for a reason. Learn to understand before responding next time. Enjoy your day

I am not referring to "your parents". Rather I'm addressing the ladies who have the warped mentality that a man should kill himself to meet every family need because he is a man.

"If you are a lady and you intend to marry with this kind of mentally...." Everything I typed from the second paragraph is addressing these kind of ladies. Sorry if it wasn't clear enough.

I'm happy that your wife understands this perspective and that is exactly how marriage should be. You will have peace of mind to pursue your purpose and achieve great things together.

Neither the man or the woman should be excessively burdened with home expenses. Both should contribute generously and everyone is happy.

God bless you and your loving wife🙏

Imredeemed:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN... I come in peace

Why?

TimT:

Behind every successful man, there's a woman... better think well...

That woman is usually his mother... don't be fooled!!!

Imredeemed:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN... I come in peace

if she is submissive maybe but if not share the rent equally. I come in peace

Iamzik:


I am not referring to "your parents". Rather I'm addressing the ladies who have the warped mentality that a man should kill himself to meet every family need because he is a man.

"If you are a lady and you intend to marry with this kind of mentally...." Everything I typed from the second paragraph is addressing these kind of ladies. Sorry if it wasn't clear enough.

I'm happy that your wife understands this perspective and that is exactly how marriage should be. You will have peace of mind to pursue your purpose and achieve great things together.

Neither the man or the woman should be excessively burdened with home expenses. Both should contribute generously and everyone is happy .

God bless you and your loving wife🙏

Konfam

God bless u and urs too 🙏

izonborn098:
Another nonsense post....

hahahahahahaha experience is the best teacher... No married man wl be against it or disagree totally.
Women are naturally born Brutal, bc ur mom is nice to u no mean say she good to her husband, inlaws or her helpers in d past.