marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

uou have a tinny pride issue , the type that cant kill a chicken, play along, not that she no longer respects uou outright she just has a class she cant stoop from , if you wanted less uou should have married a village girl wjo hasnt seen a car before , then she would appreciate a benz 200

Where do you guys get extra space in your mind for all these conditionings?

Mental slavery is sickening.

In the words of one tonicyril up there...
"my life is easy"

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

you be real mumu, the family might even have a business or secret saving that she will have access to part of it, just like the one that happened to one of my in law , her share was around one million early. You think the rich don't guard their daughter, you are lucky ,very lucky, na you go double your hustle as part of your problem already solve . The same I'm trying to my daughter, I don't expect her suffer in any man house. I have to secured her before her move. Don't be mumu man

Kobojunkie:
Nothing of what OP said screams of love, not even of the blind — brain-chemical induced— kind. He sounds instead like a man desperate for attention and control in a situation that he knew was never going to afford him that kind going in.

Would you prefer he ignored her and workout a rationale that shuts her down to possible realisation and retrace? I see a man who's too big hearted and is making little or no progress for that singular reason. You spank spoilt brats not buy them candies!

A man but this OP no serious, make God bless me with this kind of woman, if I work make I die. Na to turn wife remain , fork ego, na to enjoy this one life I come so

darealez:
Would you prefer he ignored her and workout a rationale that shuts her down to possible realisation and retrace? I see a man who's too big hearted and is making little or no progress for that singular reason. You spank spoilt brats not buy them candies!

Please stop glorifying foolishness. If he has strength for such stewpidity, he is better spending it on making sure he has enough money to foot all necessary bills for at least his kids. Abeg, stop glorifying stewpidity.

Holluwhakemmy:
She's not disturbing you now or you want her to adapt to your poverty mentally state. Leave her alone let her enjoy the wealth of her family

kemi put ur brother in his position...then retalk??

1Sharon:


Lol. Is that all you can say??

I've more to say, but make we start from there fess

tonicyril:
kemi put ur brother in his position...then retalk??

on a serious note I don't see anything wrong here poverty is not a good thing it is even better she have a family to call instead of her to endure suffering.

I know what it feels like not having money and you feel someone else is running things for you, your wife might just be this blessing in disguise for you what you both lack is proper communication.

Discuss with her let her know how you feel about her not appreciating you well enough and whatever issue you feel like also tackling.

Just Maybe the way her brothers are doing the favor is not the best way they should but then you are lucky because you see some rich family they wouldn’t have given a f*ck about you and her or better still they would go as far as removing her from your hand and depriving you from seeing ur kids.

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

She is quite immature and not ready for marriage but you have to accept her that way. Did you guys go for counseling at all before marriage? If you did not then try to. You need matured people to counsel both of you. she needs to learn to build up her own life and not run off to mama or big Bros when things ain't going so well.

Holluwhakemmy:
on a serious note I don't see anything wrong here poverty is not a good thing it is even better she have a family to call instead of her to endure suffering.

Hear this out.

I can afford to lavish 20m in a day, but u can't afford more than five million....does that means u re poverty striken??

Well, na the guy guyman I blame, he don go buy pap for where hin hand no reach basket

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

You no kno Wetin God do for u o
You dated her b4 marriage so y are u complaining?!? Make she manage with you when she is not used to a managed life?!? She is privileged so don’t feel bad… the only problem I see is the fact that her brothers where planning on opening a business without involving u n him not telling you he is changing d car other than that oboy enjoy ur marriage

tonicyril:


Hear this out.

I can afford to lavish 20m in a day, but u can't afford more than five million....does that means u re poverty striken??

Well, na the guy guyman I blame, he don go buy pap for where hin hand no reach basket

Yes of course the blame goes to him not the wife because she's from a wealth family she can't adapt to such life of manage manage

dont forget that this is only his side and do you think a man is more proud than a woman? but you have to know how often they never have to the point of 3k soup that money cant even cook concotion rice complete and there is no woman on this earth that would have a way and let her kids starve the men can say they will survive but those children will only cry to their mother as long as he lives comfortably in the house they gifted them with no problem then he shouldnt be worried about wht her brothers give or dont give her she was their lil sis b4 he ever came into the picture. same as him if he was loaded and saw his sister suffering wouldnt he help her out

talented321:
As a married woman, you don't have any feeling when ur husband is busy calling his family even because of a minor issue..

he is trying to compete with her family knowing fully well its impossible, because someone who is using 3k for soup of family of 4 definitely scrapped the car money together just to meet up and funny enough i dont think the wife broke shames him or cares about how broke he is but that arrogant pride in brokenness is hs major problem

Chuksy12:
You would have used the money you used in ordering the car and buying the watch to open a business for her.

In that case she will also be earning and supporting the family. She will be responsible by then.

If you love ur sister that much why not open her own business for her so that she'll not depend on u for survival anymore, from their she is not calling anybody for cash again.
If i'm to be her brother, i would do something tangible for her and the family..

Swaelyf:
dont forget that this is only his side and do you think a man is more proud than a woman? but you have to know how often they never have to the point of 3k soup that money cant even cook concotion rice complete and there is no woman on this earth that would have a way and let her kids starve the men can say they will survive but those children will only cry to their mother as long as he lives comfortably in the house they gifted them with no problem then he shouldnt be worried about wht her brothers give or dont give her she was their lil sis b4 he ever came into the picture. same as him if he was loaded and saw his sister suffering wouldnt he help her out

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

You both need each other.
You need to be motivated to be more successful.
She needs to learn contentment.
She needs to start work or business to know the value of earning money even as little as 50 Naira.
She needs to learn that your family with her comes first and her other family is now secondary.
Her father needs to know you're her head now. He has handed her over to you in marriage.
You all need to know that Christ/Word of God is the head of us all.

Thanks for sharing and as you invite Christ to be the head of your families, may your home know Peace, Joy, Wisdom, Honor and Love of God and Love for one another.

Proverbs 19:14
Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Marynwachukwu21:
This doesn't relate to the quote

Really? You are an igbo girl sef. Most of you don't understand life or our igbo tradition but feel you do.

Marynwachukwu21:
This is so touching.Their are lots of women out there looking for such a caring and loving man but the brothers should have sit her down and advise her what marriage is.
If she tries to lose such man she will regret it and she will start begging for him to come back since she can't appreciate the gifts...

This was your quote. Let me ask you this questions...

1. How many times in Igbo land have you seen a rich proud man sitting his daughter down, a first daughter too, and advicing her to marry a poor man... even one with good character?

2. How many times have you seen igbo girls marry for love sef talk less of a rich man's first daughter marrying for love.

3. How many rich igbo families welcome a poor man to their table with open arms talk less of giving him their daughter to marry.... a first daughter too!


Honestly, i am really surprised that the OP managed to marry the girl and the girl stays. My guess she loves him in some deep way and he was once ok fanatically. If he dares divorce or beat her she is gone for good. And her second husband will be very rich.

In igbo land, among the men, na person way get money get mouth. And a man will always look at the financial ability of a suitor before giving out his daughter in marriage


Read the op story again. Read the area where he bought a car for his wife and they brought a bigger car for her saying... 'Our Ada cannot be seen riding such car after marriage'

I dont' know of you but that statement told me all i needed to know about that girls family.

Ada na Title in igbo land. She is very important in any family. The op went and married one that's from a rich family and an only daughter too.
That girl is not begging anybody in a billion years.

BigCowHornn:


Really? You are an igbo girl sef. Most of you don't understand life or our igbo tradition but feel you do.





This was your quote. Let me ask you this questions...

1. How many times in Igbo land have you seen a rich proud man sitting his daughter down, a first daughter too, and advicing her to marry a poor man... even one with good character?

How many times have you seen girls marry for love sef talk less of a rich man's first daughter.

How many rich igbo families welcome a poor man to their table with open arms talk less of giving her a daughter.... a first daughter too!


Honestly, i really surprised that the OP managed to marry the girl and the girl stays. My guess she loves him in some deep way and he was once ok fanatically. If he dares divorce or beat her she is gone for good. And her second husband will be very rich.

In igbo land, among the men, na person way get money get mouth. And a man will always look at the finaical ability of suitor before giving out his daughter in marriage


Read the op story again. Read the area where he bought a car for his wife and they brought a bigger car for her saying... 'Our Ada cannot be seen ridign such car after marriage'

I dont' know of you but that statement told me all i needed to know about that girls family.

Ada na Title in igbo land. She is very important in any family. The op went and married one that's from a rich family and an only daughter too.
That girl is not begging anybody in a billion years.

They are few,if the man loves the daughter then the father can offer him a job or give him some advice.
He can also make the man rich all because of the daughter

dominique:
The kind of whiny cry babies we have as men today ehn! Tufia! Marry a poor girl, he'll come and whine that she and her family wants to kill him with billings. Oya marry a rich girl, he will come and whine that her family is taking over his responsibility and making him feel less than a man. What exactly do you men want?

Now oga op, you gave your wife 3k to cook food for yourself, herself and 2 kids as per magician wey she be. What kind of food is 3k supposed to cook? Should she starve because she's married to you when she knows she has a financially comfortable family that can bail her out? Would you have preferred if she had gone to her ex, or one toaster eyeing her on the streets for support? You should be happy you're married to a woman from a comfortable supportive family.

The issue here is a LACK OF BALANCE.
I will liken this situation to salt and a pot of soup. Too much salt will condemn the soup and too little or no salt will make the soup tasteless. BUT, BUT, the RIGHT AMOUNT of salt will make for a delicious pot of soup.

The family of a poor girl should not ask for too much and the family of the rich girl should know when their support is becoming excessive. Let's all be SENSITIVE, and the world will become a better place for us all.

Kenturkey048:


So she doesn't know the man she wants to get married to has just 3k for soup before agreeing to marry him.?? Was she forced into the marriage.

It isn't unnecessary ego and pride.. It's a man having control over his home.. Let her pack back to be with her brothers if she can't manage with the man she agreed to do for better for worst with...

Lastly if the inlaws want to help, they should do that like reasonable people and stop making the husband feel less of a man.

I sha blame these men for being very weak and stupid...

My question is how can a man who can afford a 75k wristwatch give his wife 3k for food to cook for a family of four in this present economy, this story is somehow.

Swaelyf:
you have no problem living in the house gifted to you but you have a problem eating food she cooked with money they sent to their sister, so if your own brother gives you money you cant spend it on your family? the problem is not your wife getting help from her family the problem is you have not accepted her family as your because they care abt her and your family thts why they help, imagine being lucky enough to have helpers who you claim have not disrespected you but still be ungrateful instead of working hard so your family doesnt have to rely on support from them you are busy complaining. you are not pying rent yet struggle to bring 3k for soup and have the audacity to be arrogant and proud

Somebody that struggled to give his wife 3k to cook for a family of four is gifting her a 75k wristwatch, how does that even make sense.

[qu.

How do I handle this?

Didn't you see this signs before marriage?

[/quote]

Acidosis:
How did you transition from buying your wife a car and a wristwatch worth 75k to giving her 3k to cook for you and your two kids?

If your story is true (which I 100% doubt), then you have a bigger problem on your hands - the problem of financial stup*dity.

Seconded.
Real financial stupidity.

Miracle2020:
did you see the type of car? I bet you the girl only marry him because someone disappointed her or maybe she is sick.

My point is that if he could get her a car worth just 2 million naira, giving her money to prepare food shouldn't be that difficult for him. But who is not short of cash once in a while?

he literally said that they are trying to open a business for her yet he is angry that they are not involving him. like bro when they involve you in a business like tht are you not giving them the chance for the see finish yet they are trying to set her up knowing you and youre children will benefit yet you are not satisfied

talented321:
If you love ur sister that much why not open her own business for her so that she'll not depend on u for survival anymore, from their she is not calling anybody for cash again.
If i'm to be her brother, i would do something tangible for her and the family..

no matter short of cash as long he has a family rainy day money should be kept or forget that he should always have foodstuff its when all these are not available that she would seek help. there is no way they hv and she calls her family. bro 3k for soup in this regime is just not possible no matter hw you manage especially in the city

GetMeRight:

My point is that if he could get her a car worth just 2 million naira, giving her money to prepare food shouldn't be that difficult for him. But who is not short of cash once in a while?

no support is too much for a mother with kids if it was just her and the husband trust me they wouldnt be that worried abt her

scrupulousblog:

The issue here is a LACK OF BALANCE.
I will liken this situation to salt and a pot of soup. Too much salt will condemn the soup and too little or no salt will make the soup tasteless. BUT, BUT, the RIGHT AMOUNT of salt will make for a delicious pot of soup.

The family of a poor girl should not ask for too much and the family of the rich girl should know when their support is becoming excessive. Let's all be SENSITIVE, and the world will become a better place for us all.

Swaelyf:
no matter short of cash as long he has a family rainy day money should be kept

Whether you always keep money for the rainy day or not, there would be those days when you all just have to manage.

or forget that he should always have foodstuff its when all these are not available that she would seek help.

Nothing bad in reaching out but making it a habit is not good enough.

there is no way they hv and she calls her family. bro 3k for soup in this regime is just not possible no matter hw you manage especially in the city

As long as it is not everyday thing, I don't see something unusual about this if it is once in a while. This is everywhere except the home where money is the least of their problems

If they can open a business that's the best idea, because i don't expect a married woman or man to be calling his or her family over the least issue, nahh that's is too childish.
If they want to open a business for the woman, it has nothing to do with man because our fathers make it so.
Woman money is for her self while the man's money is for the family.
The man seems like some one who is living comfortable but by living in a building from the wife's family he has lose all the authority and many things.. In time to come he'll understand better..

Swaelyf:
he literally said that they are trying to open a business for her yet he is angry that they are not involving him. like bro when they involve you in a business like tht are you not giving them the chance for the see finish yet they are trying to set her up knowing you and youre children will benefit yet you are not satisfied