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was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Married And In Friendship With The Opposite Sex / Nurse Set To Divorce Her Husband For Wanting To Pursue The Same Career As Hers / A Friend Wants Me To Lend Him Money. I Told Him To Fill A Form. Am I Wrong? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Qatar2022: 1:29pm On Nov 23, 2023
yoniehuin:
They are not your kids, why do you think you are entitled to send someone's kid on errand just because you are friends with the mother or because you feed them

The mother was right, her kids are not your errand children

If you had a kid and people send them on errand as they feel like, will you be happy.

Dont you think if any thing happen to those kids on errands, do you think the mum will be happy with you, she will blame you forever
Why won't she stop them from taking food from her?
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by OlujobaSamuel: 1:30pm On Nov 23, 2023
Op is either catching cruise, entitled, or an eye service dude.
Go born so you go dey send am about the whole community.
Btw, how come someone you blocked her number is calling you repeatedly but you refused to ans?
How the call dey enter your phone?

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by PROPEACE: 1:30pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


why did she not tell me she doesn't want her kids to run errands for me? And besides , the same kids come to my house everyday , eat my food and all. Have I ever complained the way they come to my house and scatter my things?
do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok.

what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ?
Are you joking? If God enables you to be a blessing to someone, a friend especially, you musn't insist on getting something in return. I will be offended if you, for whatsoever reason, send my kids on errand like that. Go to the shop yourself.

2 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by LIGHTROOM: 1:30pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:
I moved into a new neighbourhood and i stay alone. Luckily I came across my childhood friend one fateful day on my way to fill up my cooking gas.

we exchanged contact, I found out we live closed to each other. she now has 6kids with her husband, the eldest child being 13yrs old.

As formal friends and now neighbours I tried to assist her with whatever little I could as they're not doing so great in financially.

I noticed whenever I enter her house, she's somewhat uneasy as she would apologized for the messy state of her house, the dirty floor , the roughness of the building which i don't even care to notice as I am not judging her.

I reduced my entrance into her house due to the fact I didnt want her to feel bad about whatever she might be thinking of her house. it was making feel uncomfortable to hear such complains too.

I usually send her kids on errands, which I give them monetary compensations. I called her on phone one day to send her second daughter to me that I wanna send her on an errand, she replied yes she would but I didn't see the daughter.

I was cooking rice, the kids came. I dished for them and I asked the daughter why she refused to come see me the day I sent for her. she told me it was her mother who told her not to come.

I was shocked ! if her mother didn't want me to send her on a errand she could have told me. I felt like I was disturbing her kids so I blocked her number and stop sending the kids message to run for me.

now she has been calling me but I've refused to answer her calls. am I wrong in wanting to end the friendship?


Telling her specifically to send you her daughter is wrong. You said that you've block her number, how come she is still able to call you?. You could approach her with this issue and settled it. Check your emotions and your level of jealousy and also learn to forgive. And don't allow the help you are giving them make you feel that you have right ever those children. God bless those who are able to help their neighbors in this hard and trying time.

2 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by TheVictorious(m): 1:30pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


it has been sorted out. take your time to read through the pages. kiss

I'm fine.

I've read the most recent comments and I'm really excited.

You are a kind person, but you're also very emotionally sensitive - that in itself is good if you learn to apply it intentionally (I'd recommend Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman)

And may God bless you abundantly for all you do ma'am, pls don't relent.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Qatar2022: 1:30pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


why did she not tell me she doesn't want her kids to run errands for me? And besides , the same kids come to my house everyday , eat my food and all. Have I ever complained the way they come to my house and scatter my things?
do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok.

what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ?
Don't mind those people blaming You, you did the right thing by cutting her off she's ungrateful
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Qatar2022: 1:33pm On Nov 23, 2023
izonborn098:
Saying you want to end ur relationship with ur friend because of what a child said'' is an intitle mentality..
There are better ways to solve this issue and you know's it..
You don't have sense at all , they eat and dime in her house but can't help her whenever she's in need
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by alfsalami: 1:33pm On Nov 23, 2023
Saying her child had not eaten fried egg before save for you is insulting and shows you were actually looking down on the family which their mother noticed.

2 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by chudez0147(m): 1:34pm On Nov 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. It is OK that they come to your house by themselves but sending them on errands outside of your house that they came to? No! undecided
She can even send them errands outside her house if they come on their own, not to call their mum to send them over. You don see them finish be that. If na me I go remind you say them been dey feed before you come the compound
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Alaigbo(m): 1:34pm On Nov 23, 2023
But the mother can gladly open her mouth to ask assistance to feed the kids from the friends.

Is the friend their mother or father going by your analogy ? When did it become a big deal to send someone's child, a friend not a stranger on an errand ?


yoniehuin:
They are not your kids, why do you think you are entitled to send someone's kid on errand just because you are friends with the mother or because you feed them

The mother was right, her kids are not your errand children

If you had a kid and people send them on errand as they feel like, will you be happy.

Dont you think if any thing happen to those kids on errands, do you think the mum will be happy with you, she will blame you forever
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 1:35pm On Nov 23, 2023
yemmit90:


You don't actually base on what her child told you, children do lie sometimes, especially the moment they knew you won't give them a particular thing if they don't talk about something.

Try to let her mum know about it and settle it amicably.


the matter has been settled. she came to my house and asked me to forgive and forget. if you read through the pages you will see it. the daughter wanted to come with her friends but the mother refused so the child didn't come to me.

I've kept my distance to a reasonable degree. I only feel uncomfortable for the kids when they come to me and say they're hungry which I can't drive them away.

I still care for the kids but I'm traumatized someway. I don't let them stay long in my house anymore. I help at a distance but still provide periodically cos they're children and shouldn't be hungry. God will bless us all.

2 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Error401: 1:35pm On Nov 23, 2023
Children dont lie

izonborn098:
Saying you want to end ur relationship with ur friend because of what a child said'' is an intitle mentality..
There are better ways to solve this issue and you know's it..
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Qatar2022: 1:35pm On Nov 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. I am very much against it is what. undecided

2. If you don't like the kids in your place then why allow them in? undecided

3. You should not do that at all. I think you are being overly sensitive here about this by the way. undecided
Nigerian like to blame people but won't take the same shit they blame others for not taken
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Alaigbo(m): 1:36pm On Nov 23, 2023
Leave matter for Mattias, there is not a single thing wrong in sending those kids message so long it is proportional to what they can handle.


Kobojunkie:
1. It is OK that they come to your house by themselves but sending them on errands outside of your house that they came to? No! undecided

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Justbehave(m): 1:36pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


wow. thanks!
See. Kids of that age can lie just to avoid punishment. Don't end any relationship because of hearsay. Always verify such information before taking any actions.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by chudez0147(m): 1:36pm On Nov 23, 2023
Qatar2022:

You don't have sense at all , they eat and dime in her house but can't help her whenever she's in need
You are the one with empty skull. She has entitlement mentality.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Qatar2022: 1:38pm On Nov 23, 2023
chudez0147:

You are the one with empty skull. She has entitlement mentality.
You type will talk nonsense but if the case is reversed you will do the worst mumu
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by PROPEACE: 1:38pm On Nov 23, 2023
Kobojunkie:
1. They are her children and she has right to send them anywhere she wishes; you do not. undecided

2. OH wow!! how loving of you, not! undecided

3. She begged your opponent ON YOUR BEHALF and that was a problem for you too? shocked shocked shocked

4. Tor! lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

5. Some people like too much drama for this life!
If OP created this thread for clout, I will understand, but if she is serious, then it means she has a problem. You helped a childhood friend so you should be sending the kids on errands? I am sure she will not like people doing that to her kids. That is why if I tell people to manage their poverty and be careful how they go about asking 'friends' for help, they always tell me it's pride. that thing dey bring see finish no be small.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by yemmit90: 1:39pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


the matter has been settled. she came to my house and asked me to forgive and forget. if you read through the pages you will see it. the daughter wanted to come with her friends but the mother refused so the child didn't come to me.

I've kept my distance to a reasonable degree. I only feel uncomfortable for the kids when they come to me and say they're hungry which I can't drive them away.

I still care for the kids but I'm traumatized someway. I don't let them stay long in my house anymore. I help at a distance but still provide periodically cos they're children and shouldn't be hungry. God will bless us all.

I didn't read that part, you handled the matter well, may God continue to bless you ma.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Rhado: 1:39pm On Nov 23, 2023
Omo people are funny o!
You will come to me for help of different kinds, your kids come to my huz and eat, I send them to buy ingredients to prepare food they will also eat from but to send them errands I'm reminded they're are not my kids but I play more of mother figure to them.
You people that assume she sends them on errand regularly did u ask how often she provides assistance to them or it doesn't matter. Phone wey u dey use na me buy am for you. What brought the kids to her huz the day she asked the girl the question; food.
So ur children go come chop but to go message dey pepper u, does she know how hard things are to be feeding kids who are not yours.
No wahala, make op withdraw all assistance or make the parasites stay on their own.
He how pays the Piper dictates the tone.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by chudez0147(m): 1:41pm On Nov 23, 2023
Qatar2022:

You type will talk nonsense but if the case is reversed you will do the worst mumu
Idiot. Because of the small food she gives to them she now wants to kee them with message. The mum say her children no do again. After all them been dey feed before she come the compound
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Rhado: 1:41pm On Nov 23, 2023
PROPEACE:

If OP created this thread for clout, I will understand, but if she is serious, then it means she has a problem. You helped a childhood friend so you should be sending the kids on errands? I am sure she will not like people doing that to her kids. That is why if I tell people to manage their poverty and be careful how they go about asking 'friends' for help, they always tell me it's pride. that thing dey bring see finish no be small.
Helps and not helped, I go help you with Ur family needs but Ur kids can't help run few errands for me abi
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kingjbase: 1:43pm On Nov 23, 2023
You have no right to send someone's daughter on an errand. Taking advantage of their financial state says alot about you as an individual
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ginaz(f): 1:44pm On Nov 23, 2023
LIGHTROOM:



Telling her specifically to send you her daughter is wrong. You said that you've block her number, how come she is still able to call you?. You could approach her with this issue and settled it. Check your emotions and your level of jealousy and also learn to forgive. And don't allow the help you are giving them make you feel that you have right ever those children. God bless those who are able to help their neighbors in this hard and trying time.

so if you block someone they can't use another number to call you? what's your point? that I would lie on such small details? na wa
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by HELLASJ(m): 1:45pm On Nov 23, 2023
Fountainofyouth:
This OP is something else, so because you are helping them means they should be at your beck and call? truly nothing is free in freeland, very petty Op, see how she's mentioning all she has done for them as if she was forced to do it, see the way she's even defending her disgusting behaviour, na wa.
OP is an entitled beast. Her type gives and collect back with the other hand
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobicove(m): 1:45pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


which errands am I sending them apart from getting me tomatoes or milk or fish within the street as the distance is just 2minutes away.

they come to my house by themselves and sometimes I'd drive them away before they would leave. I never let them go home hungry , whatever I eat, they eat too.

I don't send them to go to the market for me or use as slaves.

I hope you are aware that if her kids meet with any disaster while running an errand for you you'll be personally liable for it! undecided
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by LUAN(m): 1:46pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

the child Was lying because of rice. That is how hungry children behave. Believe me, the kids lied against her mom
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Chemlite: 1:47pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:

sending them message is wrong but they can eat my food, request for things which I provide, scatter my house and spoil my things. little message to buy me fried fish or fresh tomatoes now at front of the street is a crime.

Hmmm... at least you've figured out the reason for their consistent visit. For me the ONLY WRONG THING IS NOT PICKING HER CALL.
Return the call to find out her reason for calling, if it is for help, politely decline. But if she complain of your sudden change in attitude towards her, tell her "friendship is expected to be mutual, not ONE sided".
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by nesgeeek(m): 1:48pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:


why did she not tell me she doesn't want her kids to run errands for me? And besides , the same kids come to my house everyday , eat my food and all. Have I ever complained the way they come to my house and scatter my things?
do you know the inconvenience i go through when 5 of them come to my house? I cook and make sure they're ok. Did u find out the mother of the child before u draw conclusion. What if the child was lying to u. Cutting that woman off is the best. What if the woman part of the story is different from want u are thinking.

what's little errand they can't help me go? and I give them the change left. so who is stressing more between me and the children ?
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Greenfusion: 1:49pm On Nov 23, 2023
Ginaz:
I felt bad that she would asked her daughter not to come run errand for me. this is someone who I have been very good and supportive to since I moved here. I don't want to talk about all I've done cos it's between me and God.

the phone she's using i gave her as her own phone got spoilt.

If she could tell her child not to come to me, I'm just wondering the rest things she might be saying behind me.

could her child be lying against her mother ?

this world is wicked though. becareful of those you call friends , they may not have the same good intentions for you.
please forget all that, y keep sending messages, you are telling a mother to send her female child to you, a girl that that probably have breast.....even if she trust you, she has to be careful b4 we would hear the popular phrase "it is the work of the devil"..... personally, i think she did the right thing.....you should think and do certain things yourself, y not look for a guy to be sending errands...its even risky for u......if u truly wanna help and support someone without gains, u didn't have to block her......be supportive genuinely if u want to....abi u get target
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by scoobyblogspot(m): 1:49pm On Nov 23, 2023
You no she is married with kids, asking her to send her kids over to some blocks of about 14houses to send on an errand , for me it's wrong. Make them go buy you tomato, bros na wa oo. No be say dem day stay for the same yard with you
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by PROPEACE: 1:50pm On Nov 23, 2023
Rhado:

Helps and not helped, I go help you with Ur family needs but Ur kids can't help run few errands for me abi
That is why I said the woman begged too much and from a wrong person sotay the children always go there for their lunch everyday and hence the see finish. I have had my rough moments too and have sought for help from a funny friend and got funny attitude in return. When it happened, I ran for my life. I ran so far that the friend came back but I continued running. But I heard OP's friend went to beg. Well, all I can say is I wish her well. It's like her head is destined for knocks, she seems to have a friend that is good at that. Wish her well.

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