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was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? (26465 Views)

Married And In Friendship With The Opposite Sex / Nurse Set To Divorce Her Husband For Wanting To Pursue The Same Career As Hers / A Friend Wants Me To Lend Him Money. I Told Him To Fill A Form. Am I Wrong? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GabrielYulaw(m): 11:49pm On Oct 21, 2023
Acidosis:


No, you can't pay a kid for his or her services. That is child labour. Errand, on the other hand, is part of our upbringing in Nigeria.

I'm practically a Pepsi addict and drink at least a carton of the stuff each week. Sometimes I buy more than one carton at once and best believe me, if I need help carrying it home, I will tip any kid that helps me. And where I buy the Pepsi is not up to 150 meters away. It's a tip not payment.

Same way if you travel and come back with luggage and neighborhood kids help you carry the stuff in, you buy biscuits and fanta for them.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Acidosis(m): 2:13am On Oct 22, 2023
GabrielYulaw:


They are not being sent on errand to mold cement or go up NEPA pole and reconnect light. They are being sent 2 minutes away from home to buy food ingredients that they themselves will eat. So I don't get why so many here are freaking out about that.

Exactly.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by IntelLord: 5:33am On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:


I watch something on YouTube last week that changed my perception about helping people you have some form of relationship with.. They say charity in such situations is in several phases.



Came across this on YouTube at firat about 4 days ago... 😁 😁 Every thing finally made sense..


What's the name of this YouTube video you watched, please? I'd like to check it out. It sounds interesting.

Or can you kindly provide a link to the video?
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 1:34pm On Oct 22, 2023
You sef. You want to turn somebody's child to an errand girl. If your friend wasn't in the neighborhood wouldn't you go on errands yourself? It's a different thing if you send them on errands when they are in your house, but calling their mother to send her child over for errands is just so wrong.

I no blame you, I blame poverty.

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Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 2:15pm On Oct 22, 2023
dominique:


There's nothing wrong with you sending her children on errands, you crossed the line when you called her specifically to send her child on errands. We need to learn to help others with clear minds not because of what we might want from them in future.
Exactly!!!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 2:16pm On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:
Ginaz

I think the notion of....

"We need to learn to help others with clear minds not because of what we might want from them in future."

is UTTER BULLSHIT.

You are not obliged whatsoever to help anybody. They've made the decision themselves to sire all those kids. 6?? and the oldest is 13? For fvk sake!!!!

I see you even compensated them for running errands in the past,even though you still assist them in other ways.

I don't get why people are saying "you shouldn't have called the mother to semd the kids on errands," I think that too is UTTER Bullshit..

The first born is completely capable and can lawfully get employed- running such kind of errands is something teenagers in the west do to earn money. That's what differentiate a black man from white man sha.

A 13 year old can get employed where?? undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Manofsteel2013(m): 2:37pm On Oct 22, 2023
Seriously grin
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by kkins25(m): 2:48pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

A 13 year old can get employed where?? undecided

Running errands in the neighborhood is something a 13 year old can do.

By the way, can you help me with the link to African collections?

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 2:51pm On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:
■ Running errands in the neighborhood is something a 13 year old can do.

By the way, can you help me with the link to African collections?
Notice the link you posted also indicate the jobs pay well as opposed to just receiving the change(tip)? undecided
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by kkins25(m): 2:52pm On Oct 22, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Notice the link you posted also indicate the jobs pay well as opposed to just receiving the change(tip)? undecided
The jobs don't offer financial assistance to the family do they? no do they feed the employee and their siblings!
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GloriousGbola: 2:53pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

A 13 year old can get employed where?? undecided

Charles dickens has entered the chat.

We are living in dickensian times

Plenty of 15 year olds are hawking on roads, working as mechanic apprentices or working on construction sites.

3 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 2:57pm On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:
■ The jobs don't offer financial assistance to the family do they? no do they feed the employee and their siblings!
OP said she did all that --- feeding the kids, etc. --- out of kindness so why do I get the feeling that you think instead her kindness should entitle her to using the woman's kids as slaves? undecided
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by kkins25(m): 3:00pm On Oct 22, 2023
Kobojunkie:
OP said she did all that --- feeding the kids, etc. --- out of kindness so why do I get the feeling that you think instead her kindness should entitle her to using the woman's kids as if slaves? undecided
sending a kid on a 2 minute walk away isn't slavery.. Couldn't the woman return the same kindness? should kindness alwasy be one sided?

It's not even a day to day something.. Its a once in a while thing...

2 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 3:03pm On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:
■ sending a kid on a 2 minute walk away isn't slavery.. Couldn't the woman return the same kindness? should kindness alwasy be one sided?
Stay focused...the one who possibly owes OP here is the woman, not her children. undecided

The kids are not slaves so why shouldn't OP feel need to properly compensate them for even a 1-minute errand?. undecided

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by kkins25(m): 3:11pm On Oct 22, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Stay focused...the one who possibly owes OP here is the woman, not her children. undecided
At least, we've agreed having a 13year old do some job isn't a crime. We both know, there is no issue with asking a parent to have their child do some unpaid job. It's common societal courtesy and part of communal upbringing.

Even the isolated whites do it. Karen can have Tracy's daughter(with Tracy's permission of course) to come and do sime baby sitting for a couple of hours.. the same happens the other way round.. why are you acting like you're just seeing something like this happen in society?
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Kobojunkie: 3:21pm On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:
At least, we've agreed having a 13year old do some job isn't a crime.
■ We both know, there is no issue with asking a parent to have their child do some unpaid job. It's common societal courtesy and part of communal upbringing.
■ Even the isolated whites do it. Karen can have Tracy's daughter(with Tracy's permission of course) to come and do sime baby sitting for a couple of hours.. the same happens the other way round.. why are you acting like you're just seeing something like this happen in society?
1. Nothing wrong with Job --- compensated service for kids -- so long as permission is obtained from parents AND child labor laws are not broken. The problem in this case is using kids for errands -- without proper compensation for service and time -- and suggesting that giving them food and small change should suffice. undecided

2. Communal points to activities that benefit the community or society as a whole like environmental sanitation work, tree planting projects, and such. OP's errands for the kids, as she explained, suggest nothing of the such. undecided

3. Karen knows that she is to compensate Tracy's daughter for her time spent babysitting for a couple of hours. Karen and Tracy may be friends but that in no way entitles Karen to having Tracy's daughter babysitting for her nor does it obligate Tracy's daughter to serving the whims of her mother's friend. Tracy's daughter has every right to demand proper compensation for her time from Karen, and she equally has right to refuse to babysit for Karen. undecided

2 Likes

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 3:58pm On Oct 22, 2023
GabrielYulaw:


I'm practically a Pepsi addict and drink at least a carton of the stuff each week. Sometimes I buy more than one carton at once and best believe me, if I need help carrying it home, I will tip any kid that helps me. And where I buy the Pepsi is not up to 150 meters away. It's a tip not payment.

Same way if you travel and come back with luggage and neighborhood kids help you carry the stuff in, you buy biscuits and fanta for them.
You are playing with diabetes
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 4:00pm On Oct 22, 2023
kkins25:


Running errands in the neighborhood is something a 13 year old can do.

By the way, can you help me with the link to African collections?
You said 'employed'.

That link... I haven't been on that site in ages. I downloaded ALL the ebooks that interested me and since then I haven't been there

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 4:01pm On Oct 22, 2023
GloriousGbola:


Charles dickens has entered the chat.

We are living in dickensian times

Plenty of 15 year olds are hawking on roads, working as mechanic apprentices or working on construction sites.
You know what I mean na
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GabrielYulaw(m): 4:31pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

You are playing with diabetes

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Thank you, Ishi my love
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GabrielYulaw(m): 4:33pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

A 13 year old can get employed where?? undecided

E be like you never see 6 year old and below hawking pure water and vegetable before. Go any big market and you go cry.

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GabrielYulaw(m): 4:34pm On Oct 22, 2023
GloriousGbola:


Charles dickens has entered the chat.

We are living in dickensian times

Plenty of 15 year olds are hawking on roads, working as mechanic apprentices or working on construction sites.

15? Lol. Oga kindly remove 10 years from that number.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 6:08pm On Oct 22, 2023
GabrielYulaw:


grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Thank you, Ishi my love
I've reduced my soda intake to once or twice bi-weekly. The amount of sugar in those things is killing.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GloriousGbola: 6:20pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

I've reduced by soda intake to once or twice bi-weekly. The amount of sugar in those things is killing.

The sugar or the price?

Coke has gone from n100 to n 150 to n 200 to n250

No way one can continue to drink it by the pack

Structural adjustment program
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GabrielYulaw(m): 6:28pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

I've reduced by soda intake to once or twice bi-weekly. The amount of sugar in those things is killing.

I can understand. I tried to replace the Pepsi with Fearless, but the Fearless proved a bit too addictive grin grin. Like I was drinking 4 and up Fearless daily.
But yeah, I really gotta cut down my soda intake and start working out.
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by doggedfighter(f): 6:34pm On Oct 22, 2023
GabrielYulaw:


I'm practically a Pepsi addict and drink at least a carton of the stuff each week. Sometimes I buy more than one carton at once and best believe me, if I need help carrying it home, I will tip any kid that helps me. And where I buy the Pepsi is not up to 150 meters away. It's a tip not payment.

Same way if you travel and come back with luggage and neighborhood kids help you carry the stuff in, you buy biscuits and fanta for them.

Don't be a pepsi addict, Gabriel cry cry
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 7:07pm On Oct 22, 2023
GloriousGbola:


The sugar or the price?

Coke has gone from n100 to n 150 to n 200 to n250

No way one can continue to drink it by the pack

Structural adjustment program
The price isn't the reason. I can afford it even if it goes higher than 250. The sugar content is why I'm avoiding soda. It does nothing to the body except add more flabs and inches to your waist line

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by GabrielYulaw(m): 7:18pm On Oct 22, 2023
doggedfighter:


Don't be a pepsi addict, Gabriel cry cry

Yes ma'am. wink

1 Like

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by sageb: 7:50pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

The price isn't the reason. I can afford it even if it goes higher than 250. The sugar content is why I'm avoiding soda. It does nothing to the body except add more flabs and inches to your waist line

For low sugar drinks try Coca cola zero coke and Amstel Malta

1 Like 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by pocohantas(f): 9:04pm On Oct 22, 2023
Ishilove:

I've reduced by soda intake to once or twice bi-weekly. The amount of sugar in those things is killing.

Thanksgiving worthy.
1st Sunday in November, we move!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 9:21pm On Oct 22, 2023
pocohantas:


Thanksgiving worthy.
1st Sunday in November, we move!
😁😁😁😁
Re: was I Wrong In Wanting To End Friendship With My Friend? by Ishilove: 9:23pm On Oct 22, 2023
sageb:


For low sugar drinks try Coca cola zero coke and Amstel Malta
Zero coke contains Aspartame which scientists say is unhealthy for the body 🤷‍♀️

Amstel Malta seems to be the better choice. That stuff is so tasteless 😁

1 Like

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