beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Lorazepam:
Because she has PCOS doesn't mean she won't be able to conceive. It just may be more difficult. PCOS is one of the most treatable causes of infertility. Most women with PCOS will eventually be able to carry and complete a pregnancy although some will need some medical help ranging from interventions like weight loss, ovulation induction meds, other meds, etc. It's good you already have a diagnosis now, that way, you're able to start working on it as soon as you marry, that's if you decide to proceed with the wedding. She's still in her 20s so age is on your side. I suggest you read up more about it to make an informed decision. At the end of the day sha, na your choice.

humilitypays:
What you suggested to the op is good theoretically but will lead to pain practically, how you may ask? By the time they are still trying to conceive in their 4th or 5th year in marriage, the little love he feels he has for her now will fly out of the window because he will be filled with regrets and had I know.



In life, if you want to be at the top and to get the best out of life, you must be ready to act selfish in most critical life decisions and also make some sacrifices that many people will hear and say you are not a good person but only you know why you took the actions you took, which are best for you and your life situation at the moment.


OP, sit her down and let her know that you love her and truly wish to marry her but scared of the fertility situation she is in. Suggest two options; you guys try having sex before marriage to see if she would get pregnant or you guys part ways. There is nothing on earth that one cannot let go. Many people do think that without their father or mother or a particular sibling or uncle or aunt that they will never survive, but when that person dies, 20 years later they are still alive and living a life far better than when that person was alive. So nobody is indispensable, and no human should ever think others cannot do without them.



In most families, the fertility issue there is beyond ordinary, some family's fertility issue have a spiritual tone and what activates most of the spiritual side of married couples fertility issue is the paying of bride price and taking of marriage vows to formalize the marriage traditionally and otherwise. Family altars don't recognize pregnancy out of wedlock, they only reign supreme when couples are trying to conceive after traditional marriage rites and wedding vows have been exchanged, so to outsmart them, get your fiance or girlfriend pregnant before marriage.



Virginity to me is not a big deal, most times its lack of opportunity or the lady haven't met a man that melts her heart, and in most cases today, the so called virgins are not real virgins but technical virgins carefully preserving their hymen to deceive a future husband into believing they are exceptional or too good whereas in reality, she has engaged in all manner of sexual acts, from kissing to sucking to necking, to petting to romancing to anal and whatnot. So true virginity is mostly about the purity of heart and soul, not really about the hymen that most virgins of today carefully preserve for wedding night glory.



If you have ever imagined having sex or thought of it, or looked at someone lustfully or engaged in any form of sexual act, according to Bible principles, you are no longer a virgin.

Besuccesful:
My friend just walked away from 8 years marriage of no kids. It’s not easy emotionally and psychologically to be with a partner without your own children. Even if it is one. Bro, think go sit in a quite place and think deeply about this issue. Once you are in fully bro you are in and must be ready to carry all her challenges with her. So, now is the best time for you to decision.

Kukutenla:
Royalcrusset omotolly22
You two dullards can read the screenshot and give yourself an education.
I'm sure you two retards know what postinor 2 is since you have experience in the field
Ciao

Kukutenla:

Shut up
Just mouthing invective like a Bush baby
You lack respect obviously insulting an elder who knows better
The cause is very well known and I've listed them for you
Your tirades don't change facts
Facts are stubborn
What are the other symptoms of pcos apart from hormonal imbalance?
Every thing you'll list are all symptoms of hormonal imbalance
You're just everywhere and can't stay in one place

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

Kobojunkie:
So in all 8 years, not once did your friend even think of adopting? If e no is his DNA, it is a fake child, abi?

ademola2017:
■ I had a similar case. My wife and I separated after 8years. We were a misfit, she had PCOS too and we had no kids. At some point I doubted I will ever father a child....
■ Do you even think it is easy to adopt a child?? The process is not from here ....
■ Do yoi know the psychological effect of not having your own flesh and blood??

Kukutenla:

You logged in to advertise your ignorance. PCOS simply describes a situation where your body is confused as to what time it is on your biological clock. Your body does not know when to start menstruation, when to stop, when to release eggs etc. That's what is called PCOS and it is caused by a host of factors.
However, I'm surprised you ladies are triggered by the fact i mentioned abortion and contraceptives CAN lead to PCOS. Seems you ladies still enjoy deluding yourselves that you can eat your cake and have it. Use of contraceptives and abortion pills interfere with your biological clock and can lead to PCOS. That's a fact you need to make your peace with no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Own up to your past.

Royalcrusset:

You are a dullard. Where was it stated that pills cause PCOS? There was not even a single mention of PCOS in the article you dumbly quoted. Please go back and read my post again, this time more slowly because you really are slow in understanding.
I'll repeat this again because I am kind and patient, but I do not suffer fools for long.
PCOS HAS HORMONAL IMBALANCE AS A SYMPTOM. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CAUSE AND SYMPTOM. HORMONAL IMBALANCE IS NOT A CAUSE OF PCOS, RATHER, IT IS A MANNER BY WHICH PCOS MANIFESTS IN A FEMALE. THERE IS NO KNOWN/ CONFIRMED CAUSE OF PCOS.

FOOL, I am NOT discussing pills and hormonal imbalance, I am disputing the fact that you mentioned pills as cause of PCOS. All I have asked is for you to post an article or link stating that pills and abortion cause PCOS. I thought you couldn't be more stupid but I am wrong. You can deceive yourself but I will not let you get away with deceiving other people.
If you cannot provide an article stating that pills and abortion cause PCOS, do yourself a favor and keep "kwayet". You are becoming a nuisance.

Kobojunkie:
1. So for 8 years you and your wife could not settle for adoption?

2. 8 solid years you no try at all and now you are attempting to pretend the reason had to do with adoption being hard??

3. Oh, OK. So children who do not carry your own personal DNA are no children at all.... they are fake children, abi? And those who do end up adopting are a lesser breed of humans compared to your person abi??

cococandy:


This is false information.

PCOS can lead to spontaneous abortions AKA miscarriages. PCOS itself is a syndrome. Not caused by anything we know of…yet. There’s a possible genetic link.

The syndrome CAN lead to other conditions like insulin resistance, diabetes, infertility, miscarriages, obesity etc.
Abortions do not cause PCOS. It’s the other way around.

I know a lot of you enjoy guilt and sex shaming women. That’s why you look for any opportunity to blame anything a woman is going through on the sex she had with someone that wasn’t you. Because all women owe you some idealized state of purity. I understand.
But you are not entitled to your own set of facts.

Royalcrusset:

Did you just mention respect? Agbaya, park one side. Respect for who/what? Person wey dey make a fool of himself on internet and still dey confident.
Olodo forming funky professor.
Post link to verify your claims, you can't. Oya shut up and rest, you refuse. Now you are talking of respect. You no kuku well before.
Elder dudubor. E pele sir. Agbaya radarada.

Kukutenla:

PCOS cause abortion. And where did you get that from? How can you abort what does not exist?
Why are you people like dis for God's sake
You sha want to be doing all your wayward things and blame something else for that

cococandy:


What is it that doesn’t exist? The PCOS or the pregnancy?
People with PCOS can and do get pregnant. In such cases, If you have PCOS and get pregnant, it can cause abortions (not always).

Where did I get that? How about every scientific journal on women’s health ever published. Have you ever read one?

Yes I do want to be doing my wayward things. It’s irrelevant to the discussion.

Kukutenla:

PCOS does not lead to abortion. That's a blatant lie

Kukutenla:

PCOS does not lead to abortion. That's a blatant lie

Polycystic ovary syndrome affects 6 to 15% of reproductive age women worldwide. It is associated with increased risk of miscarriage, gestational diabetes mellitus, hypertensive disorders of pregnancy, preterm delivery, and birth of small for gestational age infant. Many studies on issues relating to pathophysiology and management of these complications have been published recently. These issues are being reviewed here using relevant articles retrieved from Pubmed database, especially from those published in recent past.

Keywords: Early pregnancy loss, metformin, polycystic ovary syndrome, pregnancy

Cromagnon:
may second wife for chudren

Kelvinofficial:
Op you really believe your 27yrs old gf is a virgin ?? Lol you don’t deserve my opinion

Greenfaces:

You're a mumu go.at

There are 365 days in a year, how many years will it take someone to hit 80k if he slept with 1 new person everyday? Do tgr maths

omotolly22:



See what this ignorance man is saying, psychological issues causing pcos where .

Pcos is an endocrine disorder ,no one knows the cause , it can sometimes be heredity too in female .

Weight gain , and sugary foods only worsen the systoms and make it more obvious

Just have shame and accept your ignorance, you cannot know everything

Jeyun:
you are a Yoruba Muslim youbn't you?

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I

omotolly22:


I said I won't reply you but I saw you mentioned me

I know you don't know ,in the western world miscarriage is been referred to as abortion (spontaneous abortion)

Pcos is one of the leading cause of miscarriage in most women , I know people that suffer from pcos that has had multiple miscarriages

Why not just do your research, I pity your friends and people around you , you are a very difficult person ,