cococandy:
■ You know he’s not gonna do that

He’s already feeling like he’s owed the virginity.
Not until he partakes in that and then the novelty of it gets old after a few months or few years. Then of course he will start stylishly withdrawing from the marriage both emotionally and physically. People around him will encourage him to get a new wife because this one “can’t have kids”.

If the marriage eventually breaks up, she will be labeled a bitter divorcee. Used and ran through. Bla bla bla. Even though she did what she was “supposed to do”. Sigh

That's typically how these stories turn out..

Beekind, take note!

CoronaVirusPro:
You can always adopt if truly you love her

Advice from a shallow understanding of love. there are things that affect or kill love, not having your own kids by yourself or from the partner you are married to is one of them. Having kids together is a key sustainable achivement to remain loved and remain in marriage. I talk from experience

beekind:

I love her but I want my own children, I have seen the kind of stress my elder brother has been through cos of trying for a child, I won't wish it on my enemy.
Besides, I dont want the only 2 children in the family struggling to have children.

Delete to that African mentality from your head, you can try IVF or adopt na

Kukutenla:
You need prayers
I'll remember you in my prayers

Go pray your ignorance away first make we see that miracle happen.

Kukutenla:

Shut it.
You're given contraceptive to induce menstruation yes or no?
You're now trying to be clever by half.
The full course of treatment is to give clomid or its equivalent 3 to 5 days after the menses induced by the contraceptive start.
Maybe you should ask why you were given contraceptive to help you menstruate. How does that make sense to you?
Stop advertising your ignorance abeg

#Sigh#....Your stupidity is heartbreaking. So you want to force treatment that I never took on me? Na wa oooo. I conceived without any medication, that may shock you smart pants.

omotolly22:


So every type of hormonal imbalance is pcos

There are different types of hormonal inbalance pcos is just a type of one

Just swallow your pride and go and do research and stop lieing in ignorance

Pcos has no cure , it is cursed by excess androgen it can only be manage, weight loss it just a remedy to reduce the symtoms , it can also cause insulin resistance ,obesity ,cyst on the ovaries and facial hair in women.

Abortion can cause other hormonal inbalance in women , but not pcos

Pcos affect most women from their teenage years

The guy's matter is somehow sha....not very normal and quite exhausting.

Royalcrusset:

You gave wrong info! Own up to it and leave your pride aside. You people just don't think. Imagine someone reading the rubbish you wrote and goes back with the bullsh*t, making assumptions that the young girl he knows who has PCOS is probably taking pills or has had abortion. Your rubbish does not affect me in any way. No one is telling people to do abortion or take contraceptives. That is not my job. I am sharing personal experience along with information I have obtained over the years. Whereas, you are sharing stupidity. Naaaah, not allowed. You must be schooled! calling me a layman....Lol! You have no idea. PCOS happens to anyone, even doctors and nurses.

Like I said you dummy, I gave different reasons for pcos including psychological issues.
So why are you only triggered by abortion and contraceptive?
Even a man can become sterile based on psychological issues.
I know you're afraid of owning up to your mistakes which is why you wish desperately that abortions and contraceptive can't be a cause for infertility.
But this is real life not your fantasy. It does and that's a fact.
Your personal experience is what you're trying to whitewash. You did somethings out of youthful exuberance and PCOS happened. It's ok. Learn and move on. Stop trying to fight facts.

Kukutenla:

And the village doctor did not tell you that you were given contraceptives to induce menstruation abi? After contraceptives were you not given anti-diabetics and ovulation inducing drugs?
Ignoramus forming posh. If you use contraceptives, you are actually toying with your biological clock by artificially inducing hormones responsible for menstruation before time. It is obvious you were just swallowing drugs without understanding the reason why

Someone that suffers from it ,is telling you ,you are still arguing you are just ashamed to accept your wrong

Birth control pills are one of the first line treatment for pcos
It is use to balance the hormone and regulated your cycle.

If you are suffering from infertility, when you go to hospital ,some doctors would first give you combined contraceptives of estrogen and progesterone to balance your hormone for 3 months ,before you are given ovulation induction drugs

Just learn and move forward abeg ,you are not a gynaecologist stop giving false informations

omotolly22:


So every type of hormonal imbalance is pcos

There are different types of hormonal inbalance pcos is just a type of one

Just swallow your pride and go and do research and stop lieing in ignorance

Pcos has no cure , it is cursed by excess androgen it can only be manage, weight loss it just a remedy to reduce the symtoms , it can also cause insulin resistance ,obesity ,cyst on the ovaries and facial hair in women.

Abortion can cause other hormonal inbalance in women , but not pcos

Pcos affect most women from their teenage years

Who has mentioned cure for pcos here.
Oh God!! I'm surrounded by idiots!!
PCOS has causative factors. You nitwit keep yapping about the symptoms. If you use contraceptives for long periods, you're at risk of developing PCOS. Learn!!
Abortion can cause irregular menses which is one of the chief symptoms of PCOS. It can also lead to loss of ovulation another symptom of PCOS. By the way, are you aware a woman can even get pregnant without menstruating? Darn!! Ignoramuses!!

Chris2863:
copied from google

yes

Royalcrusset:

The guy's matter is somehow sha....not very normal and quite exhausting.

Very annoying guy ,just arguing falsely with medical practitioners and people that suffer from it .

Kobojunkie:
Go pray your ignorance away first make we see that miracle happen.

Naaa. You need to pray your cynicism about faith and hope and your unbridled arrogance away. It's made you think everyone is against you when no one is. We're only discussing life and its complexities. Every dart is not targeted at you

Kukutenla:

Naaa. You need to pray your cynicism about faith and hope and your unbridled arrogance away. It's made you think everyone is against you when no one is. We're only discussing life and its complexities. Every dart is not targeted at you

Faith and hope or foolishness and gullibility?

In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

Royalcrusset:

#Sigh#....Your stupidity is heartbreaking. So you want to force treatment that I never took on me? Na wa oooo. I conceived without any medication, that may shock you smart pants.

So why did you use contraceptive when you were not menstruating?
You sound really bereft of commonsense. Like I told your other nitwit, you can get pregnant even without menstruating. But is it the normal course of female reproduction?
Use whatever scraps of brain you have

Jeyun:
u must be a Yoruba Muslim. The first thing that comes to their mind after hitting 80,000 is to marry another wife.

You're a mumu go.at

There are 365 days in a year, how many years will it take someone to hit 80k if he slept with 1 new person everyday? Do tgr maths

Kukutenla:

You logged in to advertise your ignorance. PCOS simply describes a situation where your body is confused as to what time it is on your biological clock. Your body does not know when to start menstruation, when to stop, when to release eggs etc. That's what is called PCOS and it is caused by a host of factors.
However, I'm surprised you ladies are triggered by the fact i mentioned abortion and contraceptives CAN lead to PCOS. Seems you ladies still enjoy deluding yourselves that you can eat your cake and have it. Use of contraceptives and abortion pills interfere with your biological clock and can lead to PCOS. That's a fact you need to make your peace with no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Own up to your past.

You that is talking, do you even know whether your sperm cells are healthy ,or your testerone level are okay ,or your prostate is normal


Anything to just attack women, you think it is only women that suffer from infertility and hormonal imbalance

Go and do research 40% of infertility problems are from the man

omotolly22:


Someone that suffers from it ,is telling you ,you are still arguing you are just ashamed to accept your wrong

Birth control pills are one of the first line treatment for pcos
It is use to balance the hormone and regulated your cycle.

If you are suffering from infertility, when you go to hospital ,some doctors would first give you combined contraceptives of estrogen and progesterone to balance your hormone for 3 months ,before you are given ovulation induction drugs

Just learn and move forward abeg ,you are not a gynaecologist stop giving false informations

Suffers from what? Just ask her to be honest, look up the causes I listed and tell you if she has not had one or two of them in her life. You dingbats need to get a hold of yourselves.
You're typing trash. No doctor will first give you prescription without running tests except of course your village doctor. The doctor should order for tests on you to ascertain what exactly ails you.
Use your brain if any again and ask yourself how birth control pills are able to induce menstruation. That will lead you out of the blind spot you find yourself.
And you that is claiming progesterone and estrogen, are you a gynaecologist? Bleep off

Kukutenla:


Lienus. Welldone

is alright. thank you

Kobojunkie:
Faith and hope or foolishness and gullibility?

In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

No
Faith and hope. Feminism and atheism have bred so much arrogance in so many women that they think they know it all when they know nothing. They are also ready to fight facts and knowledge that does not glorify their excesses and irresponsibility.
You need Jesus to fix you

Kukutenla:
No
Faith and hope. Feminism and atheism have bred so much arrogance in so many women that they think they know it all when they know nothing. They are also ready to fight facts and knowledge that does not glorify their excesses and irresponsibility.
You need Jesus to fix you

Seems more like foolishness and gullibility.

In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

Kukutenla:

Suffers from what? Just ask her to be honest, look up the causes I listed and tell you if she has not had one or two of them in her life. You dingbats need to get a hold of yourselves.
You're typing trash. No doctor will first give you prescription without running tests except of course your village doctor. The doctor should order for tests on you to ascertain what exactly ails you.
Use your brain if any again and ask yourself how birth control pills are able to induce menstruation. That will lead you out of the blind spot you find yourself.
And you that is claiming progesterone and estrogen, are you a gynaecologist? Bleep off

You too bleep off .giving wrong information about,

Just going to Google to pick up point that you don't understand, to cover up your ignorance

You should be worried about your testicles and leave women with pcos to deal with it themselves

Want to form woke,for something you know nothing about

omotolly22:



You that is talking, do you even know whether your sperm cells are healthy ,or your testerone level are okay ,or your prostate is normal


Anything to just attack women, you think it is only women that suffer from infertility and hormonal imbalance

Go and do research 40% of infertility problems are from the man

Are you really this daft or you're pretending?
How did I attack women? This is just like saying excessive intake of alcohol which can lead to infertility in men is an attack on men. How does that make sense?
You fickle women need to get a hold of yourselves!!
Why make it a personal matter anyway?
If you say 40% of infertility issue is from the man, does that excuse the fact that majority of infertility is from the woman?
You're nailing yourself with your fingers cause I was intelligent enough not to turn it to a gender war but see what you just did.
I'm disappointed in your ability to reason devoid of emotions!!

Then move on...

Kobojunkie:
Seems more like foolishness and gullibility.

In his book, The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin wrote : “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

No wonder you're so aggressive
You believe Charles Darwin who said you descended from apes and baboons. No wonder you're so illogical.
Trying to be like your famed ancestors eh?
Like I said, demonising religion does not make you smarter, it only makes you more cynical.
Faith is not the reason for your frustrations.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

From Getting pregnant and carrying to term successfully with giving birth to a healthy living baby is only by God's grace. Even with the PCOS she can still get pregnant and have a baby successfully.marriage goes beyond having kids and being fertile.


What if you part ways and you meet your kind of woman as desired,what if despite passing all medical fertility test she is still not pregnant or not able to carry to term ,will you not still face the same fears?


What if the lady with PCOS have kids before you after parting ways because you feel she has a health challenge you could not deal with

You can follow up medically and settle down properly with an open mind of being there for each other .

Marriage is like a vehicle with no manual on how to drive it.

Kukutenla:

Like I said you dummy, I gave different reasons for pcos including psychological issues.
So why are you only triggered by abortion and contraceptive?
Even a man can become sterile based on psychological issues.
I know you're afraid of owning up to your mistakes which is why you wish desperately that abortions and contraceptive can't be a cause for infertility.
But this is real life not your fantasy. It does and that's a fact.
Your personal experience is what you're trying to whitewash. You did somethings out of youthful exuberance and PCOS happened. It's ok. Learn and move on. Stop trying to fight facts.

See what this ignorance man is saying, psychological issues causing pcos where .

Pcos is an endocrine disorder ,no one knows the cause , it can sometimes be heredity too in female .

Weight gain , and sugary foods only worsen the systoms and make it more obvious

Just have shame and accept your ignorance, you cannot know everything

omotolly22:


You too bleep off .giving wrong information about,

Just going to Google to pick up point that you don't understand, to cover up your ignorance

You should be worried about your testicles and leave women with pcos to deal with it themselves

Want to form woke,for something you know nothing about

Funny thing is none of you dingbats have been able to give the cause for pcos different from the ones I listed
You just desperately want me to be wrong on two out of the rest so you can move your troubles on to the next innocent man.
Own it woman!! You can't eat your cake and still have it.
The earlier you accept responsibility for life's choices the better. Nothing can't be fixed. But you need to accept responsibility. That's usually the first step.

Kukutenla:

Like I said you dummy, I gave different reasons for pcos including psychological issues.
So why are you only triggered by abortion and contraceptive?
Even a man can become sterile based on psychological issues.
I know you're afraid of owning up to your mistakes which is why you wish desperately that abortions and contraceptive can't be a cause for infertility.
But this is real life not your fantasy. It does and that's a fact.
Your personal experience is what you're trying to whitewash. You did somethings out of youthful exuberance and PCOS happened. It's ok. Learn and move on. Stop trying to fight facts.

LMAO. Every human has made mistakes in life, silly. Only cowards run away from theirs.
According to research, specific cause of PCOS is not known, however animal models were used to SUGGEST chemical and genetic causes. No where was abortion or contraceptives mentioned as cause of PCOS, you fool. Onset of PCOS can be after puberty which was quite my case. Yes, pills and abortion may cause hormonal imbalance but they cannot cause PCOS, stupid! Where did you get your info from? can you quote journal or article to back it up, stupid? Nope!

according to CDC.... https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/basics/pcos.html

according to Cleveland clinic..... https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/8316-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos

according to NIH.... https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/pcos/conditioninfo/causes.

This is not a good advice thuo, in my opinion

Life is brutal ko, life is brutal ni , giving motivational quotes

humilitypays:
What you suggested to the op is good theoretically but will lead to pain practically, how you may ask? By the time they are still trying to conceive in their 4th or 5th year in marriage, the little love he feels he has for her now will fly out of the window because he will be filled with regrets and had I know.



In life, if you want to be at the top and to get the best out of life, you must be ready to act selfish in most critical life decisions and also make some sacrifices that many people will hear and say you are not a good person but only you know why you took the actions you took, which are best for you and your life situation at the moment.


OP, sit her down and let her know that you love her and truly wish to marry her but scared of the fertility situation she is in. Suggest two options; you guys try having sex before marriage to see if she would get pregnant or you guys part ways. There is nothing on earth that one cannot let go. Many people do think that without their father or mother or a particular sibling or uncle or aunt that they will never survive, but when that person dies, 20 years later they are still alive and living a life far better than when that person was alive. So nobody is indispensable, and no human should ever think others cannot do without them.



In most families, the fertility issue there is beyond ordinary, some family's fertility issue have a spiritual tone and what activates most of the spiritual side of married couples fertility issue is the paying of bride price and taking of marriage vows to formalize the marriage traditionally and otherwise. Family altars don't recognize pregnancy out of wedlock, they only reign supreme when couples are trying to conceive after traditional marriage rites and wedding vows have been exchanged, so to outsmart them, get your fiance or girlfriend pregnant before marriage.



Virginity to me is not a big deal, most times its lack of opportunity or the lady haven't met a man that melts her heart, and in most cases today, the so called virgins are not real virgins but technical virgins carefully preserving their hymen to deceive a future husband into believing they are exceptional or too good whereas in reality, she has engaged in all manner of sexual acts, from kissing to sucking to necking, to petting to romancing to anal and whatnot. So true virginity is mostly about the purity of heart and soul, not really about the hymen that most virgins of today carefully preserve for wedding night glory.



If you have ever imagined having sex or thought of it, or looked at someone lustfully or engaged in any form of sexual act, according to Bible principles, you are no longer a virgin.

omotolly22:



See what this ignorance man is saying, psychological issues causing pcos where .

Pcos is an endocrine disorder ,no one knows the cause , it can sometimes be heredity too in female .

Weight gain , and sugary foods only worsen the systoms and make it more obvious

Just have shame and accept your ignorance, you cannot know everything

You don't know jack. A woman who is depressed can develop pcos.
A woman suffering from PTSD can develop pcos
A woman having psychological issues due to rape or sexual violence can develop pcos
Are you daft or learning right now?

omotolly22:



See what this ignorance man is saying, psychological issues causing pcos where .

Pcos is an endocrine disorder ,no one knows the cause , it can sometimes be heredity too in female .

Weight gain , and sugary foods only worsen the systoms and make it more obvious

Just have shame and accept your ignorance, you cannot know everything

LMAO. The guy na native doctor. Psychological issues indeed. Dude is on a cruise......

Kukutenla:

You don't know jack. A woman who is depressed can develop pcos.
A woman suffering from PTSD can develop pcos
A woman having psychological issues due to rape or sexual violence can develop pcos
Are you daft or learning right now?

Native doctor, please provide a link to back up you claims. At least let me learn something today.
You be real clown!