Zonefree:

How's it the fault of an African man to have two wives?

It’s a shitty arrangements. Because it’s African doesn’t make it good. How many things that are African but still counterproductive. Besides, it’s not even African, many other countries too started this way but they outgrow it. They have learned that polygamy is best for society and development.
Hopefully we will outgrow this backward practice too

SyrusdeHansome:

Sarah was the one that gave Abraham his second wife and was also the one that caused Abraham to pursue his son and the second wife out of the house, so the problem is not always frm the men but frm the women.

The problem ain’t with the men or women really, the problem is on the system of polygamy itself. Many Bible characters did it but all of them I mean all had issues emanating directly from it

It depends on individuals. You can't tel btw me and my step siblings.... If you can't love, don't go to church or talk abt God

I never experienced such with my step-siblings because my mum and step-mum were like sisters. Strangers could hardly believe my Dad had two wives. When hatred surfaces it is a result of the mother's plantation.

Darlingme:
There's a lady cleaner in my office, who recently lost his eldest brother. They live in the same city, where she has no meaningful job, no accomodations, but his big brother is a multi millionaire. Who can fix her up in a jiffy, but according to the story, he wouldn't because they're step siblings and past record from her mom towards his mom, wouldn't let him help any of his step siblings.
My questions are:
Why is there too much hatred among step siblings?
Isn't your father the root cause of your hurt?
Why do you easily forgive your father, but can't do the same to his children?
Why do we inherit enemies from our parents and don't want to let go?
Why do men still choose to have children from different women knowing that their children might not love each other and might even give him much trauma in old age due to bitterness and hatred for each other?
Is it same in other part of the world?
What is your general opinion on a polygamous family?

majorly in the SE

Darlingme:
Knowing that the women aren't happy sharing one man, thereby making troubles, why is it so difficult for the children to love each other as siblings? And why do men keep creating more of these problems?

the bolded, how please?

aribisala0:

Do you mean half siblings?

That is not the same as step siblings

I just learnt something new, I could have sworn I knew what step-sibling really is.

but according to the story, he wouldn't because they're step siblings and past record from her mom towards his mom, wouldn't let him help any of his step siblings.

You've already answered your question.

As for why men have children with different women, I don't know what you mean by "men choose to." Is that how life works?

For the record, step-siblings can be perfectly loving and accepting of each other as one. It's not a catastrophy everywhere. I'll tell you who to blame almost all the time.

The PARENTS or one of the PARENTS.

They sow the seeds knowingly. Human is inherently evil. Lighting a match and watching it burn gives them a kick. If all the parents involved really want the kids to grow up as one, I assure you, they're HIGHLY UNLIKELY to turn out otherwise.

Even when parents say something else and do something else, kids are taking mental notes. It'll sip into their soul and build their outlook.

I'm a product of polygamy and I am proud to have another wife that would give me love and affection at old age ❤️

Darlingme:
Knowing that the women aren't happy sharing one man, thereby making troubles, why is it so difficult for the children to love each other as siblings? And why do men keep creating more of these problems?

Women are not happy having a husband and you are talking about sharing a husband. Women are born unhappy.. shouldn't be married.

That's polygamous spirit for u.

From your narration, I can deduce they are half siblings (siblings sharing one parent; there's blood ties) not step siblings (siblings inherented by marriage. No blood ties).
Often times, people mistook half siblings as step siblings.

Even amongst full siblings, there is usually siblings rival and disunity. Blood ties is no longer enough to call one family. Let everyone hustle for themselves.

Polygamy is reason why half siblings will always hate each other.

Shun polygamy!

Darlingme:
Then, Why so much hatred among step siblings?

Can't even answer the question, rather very quick to blame the man.
Why didn't you blame the second woman?

SyrusdeHansome:
The question u shud be asking is, why do most women hate other pple`s children thereby causing frictions in the future?

Do you love other women's children? How many men want to marry a single mother vs a childless woman?

You can't force an emotion. What should be preached is tolerance.

Darlingme:
There's a lady cleaner in my office, who recently lost his eldest brother. They live in the same city, where she has no meaningful job, no accomodations, but his big brother is a multi millionaire. Who can fix her up in a jiffy, but according to the story, he wouldn't because they're step siblings and past record from her mom towards his mom, wouldn't let him help any of his step siblings.
My questions are:
Why is there too much hatred among step siblings?
Isn't your father the root cause of your hurt?
Why do you easily forgive your father, but can't do the same to his children?
Why do we inherit enemies from our parents and don't want to let go?
Why do men still choose to have children from different women knowing that their children might not love each other and might even give him much trauma in old age due to bitterness and hatred for each other?
Is it same in other part of the world?
What is your general opinion on a polygamous family?

You are right in all the points you raised. Only those of us who are from southern polygamous families will understand. Just as you said it's not wise for a man from southern Nigeria to have children from multiple women. I keep emphasising southern Nigeria because in the north even though these problems are there it is not pronounced because their culture is preserved and their religion accepts it.

The answer is SEED. Seeds of hate and discord sown by parents.

My dad abandoned the entire family and ran away with his third wife. But there was never a day mom spoke ill of him. Our minds were never poisoned with hate. Even as we all grew and needed him by our side, he was nowhere. It was quite painful, but Mom kept on telling us to forgive him.

While on the other hand, her co-wife was always poisoning the hearts of her children (my half-siblings) towards our dad.

Many years later, Dad realized his mistakes, came back, apologized to the entire family and genuinely repented. We accepted him back, and genuinely forgave him. But my other half-siblings couldn't forgive and let go so easily because of the kind of seeds sown into them by their mother.

Our lives and the lives of my other half-siblings are direct opposites and testaments to what and how far WORDS (good and bad SEEDS) sown into children's lives can go. Dad was ready to start from where he stopped, but they weren't ready because of hate (the nature of seeds sown). Every effort he made to reconcile with them proved abortive.

Most people from polygamous homes would rather die as singles than have such kinda home in the future. Women are the earth and men are the seed carriers. Remember, it's the nature of the earth that determines the quality of the fruits the seed will produce. Mothers carve our lives (not fathers) and they give us our worldview until we grow and decide to see things differently.

Darlingme:
Knowing that the women aren't happy sharing one man, thereby making troubles, why is it so difficult for the children to love each other as siblings? And why do men keep creating more of these problems?

Stop stressing yourself.

You can only understand why if you're from such family settings.

Women!
What kind of rhetorical question is this tho? Lack of content on this forum is turning here to a mess.

1Sharon:


Do you love other women's children? How many men want to marry a single mother vs a childless woman?

You can't force an emotion. What should be preached is tolerance.

Buhahahahahahahahaha

whippersnapper:
Polygamy only favors the man you go knack tire but na your children go suffer ahm. Especially this day’s wey women dey visit babalawo up and down. E done be for your first wife children them go use jazz kill all of them i fit bet my balls on this

You're too correct bro. I can relate.
You must be prepared to bury 4 out of 10 children before old age, meh it's that bad. I don't wish polygamy for any man, it's a trap too costly to fall into. The lesson is for us all to see women as number one problems of this world, they are the reason this earth can never be a paradise no matter how long it takes. Everyday I wonder how women love thier biological children so much yet feel hatred for another woman's child knowing fully well it takes d same effort to bring all children into this world? And this is not an issue of 'Some of them' it's general.
My childhood friend from a polygamous home was killed in a bike accident immediately he bought a brand new bike(bike o, I didn't say car o), April 2016. He just left my house on a rainy morning to show me the bike, he died on d the spot, the custom officer he was carrying died two weeks later in the ICU. To show u how severe the accident was. He uses okada business to support his schooling after being born by a useless polygamous Father.He earlier told me his step mom make an open threat over his life but I didn't take him seriously.

Darlingme:
There's a lady cleaner in my office, who recently lost his eldest brother. They live in the same city, where she has no meaningful job, no accomodations, but his big brother is a multi millionaire. Who can fix her up in a jiffy, but according to the story, he wouldn't because they're step siblings and past record from her mom towards his mom, wouldn't let him help any of his step siblings.
My questions are:
Why is there too much hatred among step siblings?
Isn't your father the root cause of your hurt?
Why do you easily forgive your father, but can't do the same to his children?
Why do we inherit enemies from our parents and don't want to let go?
Why do men still choose to have children from different women knowing that their children might not love each other and might even give him much trauma in old age due to bitterness and hatred for each other?
Is it same in other part of the world?
What is your general opinion on a polygamous family?

If my father has a bastard, they're on their own. He better makes provision for them cos nothing will make me identify with them. Finish.

We and our step siblings are like 5&6 you won't know our difference
..I thank God for this gift...I pray that God uses me to empower my siblings and step siblings big time as much as the creator blesses me..

Omoawoke:
Step siblings from same mother don’t hate each other , it’s always step siblings from same father but different mothers. This shows how women are capable of sewing the seeds of jealousy and hatred

Not always, especially if one side progresses than the other, speaking from experience.

Zonefree:
Blame their mothers.

Women have ways of destroying a happy home.

God and Adam were paddy until Eve came.

Yup, let your wife start banging another man and bring the man and children home let's see how peaceful you will make that home

From observation, the hatred comes from the mother.

Touch me you go collect from my step brother

Darlingme:
There's a lady cleaner in my office, who recently lost his eldest brother. They live in the same city, where she has no meaningful job, no accomodations, but his big brother is a multi millionaire. Who can fix her up in a jiffy, but according to the story, he wouldn't because they're step siblings and past record from her mom towards his mom, wouldn't let him help any of his step siblings.
My questions are:
Why is there too much hatred among step siblings?
Isn't your father the root cause of your hurt?
Why do you easily forgive your father, but can't do the same to his children?
Why do we inherit enemies from our parents and don't want to let go?
Why do men still choose to have children from different women knowing that their children might not love each other and might even give him much trauma in old age due to bitterness and hatred for each other?
Is it same in other part of the world?
What is your general opinion on a polygamous family?

Half siblings are different from step siblings. I guess you meant half siblings, sharing a father, but different mothers.

As for me I love my step sister more than my blood sister.
There is a bond btw us.

SyrusdeHansome:
The question u shud be asking is, why do most women hate other pple`s children thereby causing frictions in the future?

Na woman bro
even blood siblings will get issue when woman comes between them
P square and so many others

woman too selfish
they only love their child

hasyak:
You ask an interesting question.

Hatred is usually caused by mothers, and to some extent, fathers. Polygamy? The truth is, man is polygamous by nature; it's society that's trying to change the narrative. That's why you see baby mamas all over. If a man is capable, why accept his mistresses/baby mamas outside but restrict him from marrying them? Why shame the mothers outside? It should be encouraged, honestly. The benefits outweigh the shortcomings. It gives children legitimacy, secures the women in case of death, and more, which I won't delve into further.

The capacity of the man when it comes to managing two or more women is where the majority of the problems come from. On the women's side, the major problem is their inherent sense to protect their own, and this leads to jealousy and competition.

We first need to accept our shortcomings, then work out a way that protects All..

Man is irresponsible by nature because of their forced provider status, not some polygamous DNA strain


No person that provides wants to stay with one person, man or woman

Maysdevices:
Man is irresponsible by nature because of their forced provider status, not some polygamous DNA strain


No person that provides wants to stay with one person, man or woman

It isn't forced, it inherent in men, to provide and protect. So is their nature to sample..

Why do you see men start thinking of marrying more wife or increase sampling when money comes their way? But for women, that's when they start saying I don't need a man, am free and independent?

hasyak:


It isn't forced, it inherent in men, to provide and protect. So is their nature to sample..

Why do you see men start thinking of marrying more wife or increase sampling when money comes their way? But for women, that's when they start saying I don't need a man, am free and independent?

If it’s so inherent, why are men of today fighting their destiny so hard? Many are even turning to women to escape at a frightening rate. Some are using it as joke, some are downright serious about it.


This is because men and women approach relationships differently, being in relationship as a woman is completely different from what you can ever tolerate as a man. Women tolerate it because of MONEY, even a lacking man will tolerate a woman’s excesses if she builds him the way men build lowly women.

I am not against polygamy at all, all I’m trying to tell you is that real men don’t feel too Hot for ladies until money enters their accounts. Even the rich easily get bored of themselves and cheat.

What does that tell you? It is money that is polygamous and not your dick.