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My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! - Romance (12) - Nairaland

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Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Wainey: 11:47am On May 15
torqque7:


Wrong..A true Alpha is the one who doesn't let himself get cheated by the one who hurt him or broke his heart but also took his pound of flesh from her before going their separate ways and learning also from the bitter experience,and NOT one who got hurt and cheated by one Olosho somewhere and then he is now taking revenge on other innocent girls out there especially those with good intentions towards him.
most Alphas dont take revenge depending on the situation. They probably dont have time for revenge.
Only an insecure and a weak person looks for revenge.
True Alpha are rational rather than emotional

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Zector(m): 12:22pm On May 15
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.


I sincerely felt your pains cos I was once in your shoe. But if you will follow my advice leave her let her go and marry the new guy.
It is a blessing for you at the end of the day.

I told my gf then ,that is paining me now and time is coming that it will be paining her.

I was sicked then but today she begs me for money.

The time I traveled outside the country I called her with international line just to tell her that without her my life can still progress. Today she suffered Marital abuse from the so called guy beating like drums.
I just they look away each time he reported the guy to me that he beats her.
Anyway my brother.take heart and move on with your life

5 Likes

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by lendahand(m): 12:53pm On May 15
Jaycobbs:
At the risk of stating the obvious:

1. She's done with you
2. You deserve someone better
3. You need to respect your relationship and keep things clean with other ladies

Nigga, dem no tie your placenta to this woman. There's over three billion women in this world.

3,000,000,000!!!

Chances are, you'll find one that respects you if you can wipe your tears and remove your eyes from this one.
dude is even lucky this is happening before marriage and he's here simping.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Medici777: 12:57pm On May 15
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.
you can’t force love. Let her go or you’ll regret it. Move on
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by NohurryInLife: 1:35pm On May 15
Danisaint112:
Lukmanraji

The advice here is okay for you to make your decision.
But like someone said; "your mind is already made."

And to be honest with you, you made a grave mistake when you involve your dad. Like who the heck does that? You indirectly insulted your dad (reduced his worth) and he also insulted himself.

If only God could open your eyes to see how she sees you, you will run with the speed of light. She is probably seeing your family as clowns right now.

She told you she doesn't love. Getting into a marriage with someone that doesn't love you is the worst mistake you can make. More so you and your family will continue to beg her till eternity.

The fact that she was also caught cheating second time, didn't feel remorseful about it, and still doing it right under your nose is the worst of them all.

I know you are deeply in love with her, could probably be attracted to her physical features too and, feel you woulyd find a woman like this anymore.

But here is the thing; why be with a tree woman that don't love you, doesn't respect and ready to cheat. If she does respect you she would have cut off communication with the guy as instructed.

Forget about what people will say. Make yourself the priority. You peace of mind matters.

And most importantly if you leave her, you will feel like your world is tearing apart but trust me over time you will get over it and even begin to wonder how foolish you were to have done all this just to keep her.

A word they say, is enough for the wise.
God bless you 4 this brother

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by sheriffindy(m): 2:09pm On May 15
I enjoyed Tottenham vs Man City match yesterday...

Did you?
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Thaga(m): 2:13pm On May 15
Guy move on...it is done and dusted.
Never beg someone to be in your life when the person is not ready to...it is going to be a lot of dramatic moments which you will regret.

I understand your pain...trust me....you will heal....it is just a phase...it will pass...but move on...
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Shhhh01(f): 2:30pm On May 15
When she told you the first time that she was done u for let am go. abi wat do u want us to do for you now? we cannot beg her for u na. no b by force
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Amonijosh1: 2:31pm On May 15
you are not a real man, real men are dominant. and i know u know get better money too
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Danisaint112(m): 2:35pm On May 15
NohurryInLife:

God bless you 4 this brother

You are welcome
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by CrownLands(m): 2:44pm On May 15
Man up! You've lost her.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by torqque7(m): 3:33pm On May 15
Wainey:
most Alphas dont take revenge depending on the situation. They probably dont have time for revenge.
Only an insecure and a weak person looks for revenge.
True Alpha are rational rather than emotional

Lol dey play..just de play🤣🤣Keep basking in your delusion dude.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by donsheddy1(m): 4:10pm On May 15
zombieHUNTER:


The girl is at fault here

Not a wife material

She will get tired of the new dude and jump on the next

You think everyone reason like you do?
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Fattprince23: 4:18pm On May 15
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.
To kill you dey hungry me. Your own don pass slap.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by MrSly(m): 4:36pm On May 15
Jaycobbs:
At the risk of stating the obvious:

1. She's done with you
2. You deserve someone better
3. You need to respect your relationship and keep things clean with other ladies

Nigga, dem no tie your placenta to this woman. There's over three billion women in this world.

3,000,000,000!!!

Chances are, you'll find one that respects you if you can wipe your tears and remove your eyes from this one.
You need mature advice right? Leave her and stop stalking her. It will only earn you more disrespect and mockery. Women hate pitiful men. If there is any chance of reclaiming her, it is never in begging and humiliating yourself. Pick up yourself, don't be sorry for anything, just move on.

But I wonder how you guys normally get to this type of rubbish. Is she your first and only love? Your story portrayed you more like a male virgin, no banters.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by charlizonto: 5:27pm On May 15
Bintasukai:
Bro don’t listen to all these red pillers of nairaland. Na dem go ruin your relationship pata pata. Relationship of 7 years? Haba. You need to die dia. Show her that she is important, show her that you know you are not worthy of her love, that you know she is just managing you, she will pity you. Na mind games bro. She is just testing you, so that she can know that you will love her regardless of her missteps. Bro, go harder. Spend money on her. If she no gree, tell her you don’t mind being the second guy. If she doesn’t take you serious, tell her that you are willing to prove that you are ready to take the back seat, tell her you are willing to watch whenever they are having segs. That she will see you won’t get angry, and if you get angry, she has the permission to leave you finally. You will get her back with all this game I have taught you, don’t worry. Being a simp is not a bad thing, okay. These other guys are just incapable of loving.
This one na 1984 copy and paste.....not this generation of women
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by occfx: 5:31pm On May 15
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.

How do you people manage to stay in a 7yrs relationship? Crying for a woman that is not even your wife?

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Deenillah(m): 5:36pm On May 15
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.

Your mumu no to muuuuuuuuuuch?
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by VULCAN(m): 5:48pm On May 15
I read halfway before I realised it was a woman writing.

That's why she completely absolved the girl's cheating and focused on the guys cheating.

Most women have chicken brain when it comes to judging relationship matters.

Most of them experience shut down of the logical centres once it is a relationship issue

Double0h7:
You had seven years to love, respect, and honour her but from the look of things you didn’t do that. If you have cheated on her and broke down her love then the tank is empty. You don’t decide one day that you will be a different man; a responsible man, when you had seven years to prove that and you didn’t.

She’s found someone who she can start again with. There’s too much water under the bridge. You finished her love and all that’s left now is resentment for you. She doesn’t trust you because you’ve shown her time after time that you are not loyal or trustworthy. She finally grew up.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by charlizonto: 5:56pm On May 15
U used your biological father to beg a Nigerian girl on your behalf?

U must be living in a fantasy world..u better wake up and face reality...U are the type that shed serious tears when u watch romantic breakups on Zee World

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Galaxydon1(m): 8:14pm On May 15
How old are you?
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Clevagal: 8:27pm On May 15
Lukmanraji:
My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.

Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.

So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.

I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.

To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.

So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.

Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.

After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.

Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.

I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.

I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.

I really want to advise you so bad but problem is, will you take my advise? Make i no go waste my hand energy typing😂 but if you follow my advise..you’ll be better!
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Blackdisciple(m): 9:41pm On May 15
Have you heard about the word ghosting.....!
I will just ghost her and nurse myself for some weeks then I'm back on my feets again....

Those kind people after much talk and no changes GHOSTING is the best option...
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Pirosaw: 11:23am On May 16
Never beg someone to love.
Many red flag that both of you are not for each other.
Move on with your life, even if she come back for you, do not.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by joyousever(f): 11:53pm On May 18
Mr. Poster, clean your tears and dust your feet off that relationship! That relationship is dead, that's the reality! You can't flog a dead horse remember? And you can't force a camel to drink water.

You made a mistake by sending your whole clan to beg her! You come off as being desperate without options! I'm a lady and we view men who over beg us for a come back as sissies. You're a man, act like one! It's ok to love, but tag your senses along while loving.

Last point, have it in mind that your life isn't tied to anyone! And always put yourself first in all you do. Just move on! She has since moved on. And never ever make the mistake of ever begging her again. I know it hurts having dated her for so long and being loyal. But hey! What will be will always be. Face your reality and deal with it. Start by deleting her number and every trace of her in your life. Cry if you can, it's a healing mechanism, you know. Then forgive yourself for ever being with her and then get set to have a fresh start.

Wishing you well.
Cheers.

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Auxtan(m): 4:54am On May 19
joyousever:
Mr. Poster, clean your tears and dust your feet off that relationship! That relationship is dead, that's the reality! You can't flog a dead horse remember? And you can't force a camel to drink water.

You made a mistake by sending your whole clan to beg her! You come off as being desperate without options! I'm a lady and we view men who over beg us for a come back as sissies. You're a man, act like one! It's ok to love, but tag your senses along while loving.

Last point, have it in mind that your life isn't tied to anyone! And always put yourself first in all you do. Just move on! She has since moved on. And never ever make the mistake of ever begging her again. I know it hurts having dated her for so long and being loyal. But hey! What will be will always be. Face your reality and deal with it. Start by deleting her number and every trace of her in your life. Cry if you can, it's a healing mechanism, you know. Then forgive yourself for ever being with her and then get set to have a fresh start.

Wishing you well.
Cheers.
I have also struggled forgetting my ex and have done even funnier things to have her back. But she's with a 31 yo guy now who I guess is ready for marriage. She's insulted the hell out of me for seeking reconciliation. Now I have decided to move on at last. Tho I sheepishly call her a times because I have her number in my head.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by imagrg(m): 7:12am On May 19
Girls like bad guys not a caring person like you.
You are definitely too soft for her.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by DonroxyII: 3:24pm On May 19
UcheKingsley1:
Fvck your relationship, make money bruh grin

She can go down, but let your money go up,

Middle finger to your bitchh. angry
Middle Finger to the Op too ... Try to dey balance equation ... You are Supposed to Fvck dem Both with The F-Finger !.. Then Fvck Yasef too !
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by Amumaigwe: 5:43pm On May 19
Double0h7:
You had seven years to love, respect, and honour her but from the look of things you didn’t do that. If you have cheated on her and broke down her love then the tank is empty. You don’t decide one day that you will be a different man; a responsible man, when you had seven years to prove that and you didn’t.

She’s found someone who she can start again with. There’s too much water under the bridge. You finished her love and all that’s left now is resentment for you. She doesn’t trust you because you’ve shown her time after time that you are not loyal or trustworthy. She finally grew up.

Women and lying to themselves. She found another man she has more feelings for than the current guy, simple and short. The guy should not to worry, her feelings will still change and she will move over to the next guy.
Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by joyousever(f): 9:51pm On May 19
So sorry about that. Time heals all wounds, therefore with time, you'll get to forget her existence. Never ever try to win her back again, no matter the urge to do so. Just move on with your life and aspirations. Your life/ destiny isn't tied to anyone. Always put yourself first.

Another way of easily getting over someone is to remember all the dirty/ filthy things/ habits about them. It works like magic. Also, engage in productive activities, hang out more with friends and avoid being alone for a while. It's another healing balm.. Before you realise it, you're with someone else that will make you question what really attracted to your ex.


Auxtan:

I have also struggled forgetting my ex and have done even funnier things to have her back. But she's with a 31 yo guy now who I guess is ready for marriage. She's insulted the hell out of me for seeking reconciliation. Now I have decided to move on at last. Tho I sheepishly call her a times because I have her number in my head.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by joyousever(f): 9:55pm On May 19
So sorry about that. Time heals all wounds, therefore with time, you'll get to forget her existence. Never ever try to win her back again, no matter the urge to do so. Just move on with your life and aspirations. Your life/ destiny isn't tied to anyone. Always put yourself first.

Another way of easily getting over someone is to remember all the dirty/ filthy things/ habits about them. It works like magic. Also, engage in productive activities, hang out more with friends and avoid being alone for a while. It's another healing balm.. Before you realise it, you're with someone else that will make you question what really attracted you to your ex.


Auxtan:

I have also struggled forgetting my ex and have done even funnier things to have her back. But she's with a 31 yo guy now who I guess is ready for marriage. She's insulted the hell out of me for seeking reconciliation. Now I have decided to move on at last. Tho I sheepishly call her a times because I have her number in my head.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by ogbe88(m): 6:54am On May 21
tivity101:
Good riddance... Let her go, if you eventually convince her to tell you she loves you again it's a lie, don't even plan on getting married to her again cos you may leave the rest of your life in regrets why you didn't let go when you had the time.
Just don't give up keep your head high and be focused find a new skill to learn do something interesting, make new friends, take this time to develop into a better version of yourself and wait for the real woman for you.
You will forever be grateful you didn't marry your ex
This talk we don hear am before.

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