J

get a male friend.

Lol. I'm sure you are the first girl that gave him any attention. He must be married to you in his dreams already. Pray ASUU does not resume from their strike.

I undstand how u feel about d whole thing.i equally applaud yur courage 2 thread with d guy in d first place when others distance him like a shit.i think @ 24,he is a man.dialogue with him and tell him how u feel,yur closeness to him was mistaken by d guy as a relatnship.let him know that u are just a friend and nothing more.d solutn lies with d way u handled d issue maturedly.no cause 4 alarm,God knows yur gd intention 2 associate with him despite his short comings,pray to God 4 guideance.keep d faith,if u can touch and change d young's life,u are equally changing d world.he may be d poor boy today,who knows 2morow.gd luck !

Tell him you are not into boys and want to face your books which is what you should have been doing in the first place instead of "trying to help the lone ranger out."

Cyberfreak, u are a good girl! Dont discuss anything with him. Avoid him with style. He will get that your are disassociating yourself from him. He will back out himself.

H

Then u are dealing with a goat. What u do now is : call him & get blunt with him. If that doesnt work, give me his contact.

get a guy to disguise as your boyfriend and scare him off real good over the phone.
then when you get to see him,tell him you don't want him to get hurt and your boyfriend who's a cultist has vowed to deal with him if he doesnt stay off you and please when you talk it,act it!!
i hope this helps.

Oh boy lets not condemn the guy because it's clear he has deep psychological issues.

He needs to overcome rejection first cz its what makes him cling. Is he even aware that hes a nuisance?

@op, u hav to be very careful, i had a similar gf back in sch, but she took to violence wen i wanted out! Be careful once again i say! Do not ask anoda guy to disguise as ur boyfriend as dat cud spark up a war! He must surely fight as his social life depends on ur friendship wit him. When majority of peeps in ur class stayed away frm him, wat were u tinkin? Na u get sense pass abi?

Well the replies here follows the same trend, first the poster said the guy is polite, his only flaw is being broke & not socially active. @ 24 he should be able to handle truth, so why not engage him in a discussion on the effect of his attachment. But then I think the poster is more afraid of falling in love with this poor social outcast.

Op,
Hold it there! Nosensetica joy eliminator. Is it a crime for someone to fall in love wit u? I know u want to leave him because he is poor not necessarily because he is reserved.
Wait until he re-enacts jonathan story in his life and i bet you,you will glue to your television sulking watching him tell his story-''i had no shoes''. I bet you thats the situation most babes our presido toasted during his youth days but rejected him cos of his poor background are into now.

OMG roflmao still lmao lool lwkmd. I never knew people like this still exist. Talk about weirdo. Lmao @ abandoning his destination to go wherever you're going with you. Poor dude don't even wanna work hard to eradicate the poverty syndrome. Loool I will save this page, my female cousins must read this ;d ;d ;d ;d. @poster please quit using whatever lotion you're applying on your body that attracts the bee on you.

@poster, maybe call him a day to resumption and ask how you can get to see him. be the one to call him
then talk to him without causing more psychological damage.

remember, if you had left him, he probably wouldn't be doing this in the first place.

not bad if you teach him the 101 of relating to people, while at it, remind him you are his friend.
goodluck.

H

Cyberfreak:

I was thinking the best route to take was to get a guy to pose as my boyfriend and talk to him politely about the thing, but after reading through the thread I think dialog will be better overall.
If I talk to him I will have to be extra careful in selecting the words I use.
I am immensely grateful to all those who gave advice.
Thanks a mil!

You saw the way the people around him were avoiding him but you decided to make him your own charity case by doing him the favour of being your friend . . . . 'even though he's poor'!
You made your bed, lie on it my friend!

ujujoan, go and sleep jor!

no one is able to choose whom or what the become at birth.
you must understand that some are just not smart at anything, they needed things be spelt out so they can learn.
not their fault.

Hello poster,

I am sorry to tell you that 99% of the respondents have given you the wrong advice.

You are already ensnared and you have to handle this sociopath with extreme caution.

It is silly to let anyone pose as your boyfriend to scare him off, because that could even worsen the problem.

You are the one who can handle him and end his obsession politely.

I am going to address this situation with references based on the reservations you and your peers have against him and how these reservations could be shallow due to your arrogance or ignorance. Yet you have the right to discontinue your association with this sociopath.

It would be helpful to read the analysis of a sociopath and a psychopath before you rush to post your reply.
The Holy Bible says people perish from lack of knowledge and the fact that majority of Nigerians do not read have done collateral damage to their psyche and left the country in rot.

[size=28pt]
I have seen many Nigerian guys who assume that simply knowing a girl makes her their girlfriend and I have seen guys fighting over a girl on their campus without knowing that she has her real boyfriend elsewhere.

Even Being Intimate with a girl does not make you her boyfriend.
And Being Intimate with a guy does not mean you are his girlfriend.[/size]

Many of the respondents have also exhibited the other characteristics of the nonidentical twin of a sociopath, the psychopath, see http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/psychopath_2.htm.
The problem is many of them don't even know they are behaving like psychopaths.

Being extremely poor is not the reason why your peers disassociate from him,
This is a classic case of Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) in different variations.

Only fools will discriminate against anyone, because the person is among the poor, poorer or poorest in their community.

The irony of those you and your so called peers call "society rejects" or whatever is the fact that you often face the same rejection when you find yourself among richer folks or when you end up as a minority in the US or the UK and the White folks treat you as second class citizens.

[size=28pt]That your so called "society reject" may end up as the future Minister or even ;President of Nigeria.
Lest you forget, he is not going to school for nothing and once you are in school, you either drop out or graduate and if he is brilliant he will surely succeed in life. Then you and your so called peers may be at the receiving end tomorrow.

The way you see that guy is actually the way many of the developed nations see Nigeria and treat Nigerians overseas. To be avoided like a plague.[/size]

Majority of Nigerians stay away from white dominated forums, but I am a senior member of the leading American and European forums where blacks keep away from, because of their deep rooted fears of racism or inferiority complex. That is why you noticed that Oprah Winfrey had more whites than blacks in her book club and TV show.
But in most cases, the White folks sooner or later judge you more on your IQ than your skin or country of origin.
Many of them still ask whether I am a Nigerian in Nigeria and 90% of the over one million visitors to my popular blogs are from North America and Europe. Only about 5% of my regular readers are fellow Nigerians.
Many of them say the blogs are too cosmopolitan.

Millions of Nigerians actually have psychological problems due to the systemic failures of governance at all levels in Nigeria and many of those who relocated overseas are not that secure being regarded as illegal immigrants or second class citizens. But majority of them would prefer posing and posturing to admitting their frustrations and arrogantly or ignorantly have been displaying them without much discretion online and offline by their lack of public decorum or what we call company manners. They often resent the celebrity status or success of their fellow Nigerians and spread false rumours about them as many successful celebrities have confirmed overtime.
Nigerian psychopaths and sociopaths come online where they can hide behind user names to attack celebs and others.

"The blind cannot lead the blind as Jesus said in a parable in Matthew 15:13-14 and Luke 6:39-40 of the Holy Bible.

They have not set good examples, so by their fruits you shall know them.

Among the people here is a psychopath who burnt a boyfriend's photograph over an argument and later still slept with him.
Another one was disgraced when her campaign of calumny failed and she had to eat her own words.

[size=28pt]So, just beware of confiding in absolute strangers online, because you can never know anyone until you have met the person physically and knows the person to his her home and how the person lives among others as you know this particular person who is obsessed with you. [/size]

The fact that this your problem child is even in school is enough hope that he has a future.
So, it is naive and wrong to highlight his negatives more than his positives.

1. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

LYING ONLY MAKES A BAD CASE WORSE.

Invite him to meet with you in the residence of a trusted senior lecturer like the dean of your faculty or a respected pastor or reverend minister. And there in their presence, kindly explain your position to him and tell him that you would prefer that he stopped embarrassing you by his obsessive behaviour. That he is causing you a lot of embarrassment.
That he is distracting you from your academic targets.
Then politely say you wish him the best in life.

This will work for you.

^^WOW!! you are spot on!!

esp. when you said:

The problem is many of them don't even know they are behaving like psychopaths.

perhaps its a cultural thing where a lot of black men esp. those from "developing countries",
cannot take "no" for an answer that is the reason why they exhibit stalker like attitudes/personalities.
It's kinda scary when you think about it. In the Caribbean some women used to get physically assaulted and killed for rejecting men some of whom they never even knew for more than a week!! smh.

@ op: i feel your pain op. 
i've been there. nothing more annoying than a guy who just doesn't get it. some men seem to get a high off of aggression and others you cant been passive with because they will keep on with the obsession. It's sooooooo annoying!!

REALITY101:

OMG roflmao still lmao lool lwkmd. I never knew people like this still exist. Talk about weirdo. Lmao @ abandoning his destination to go wherever you're going with you. Poor dude don't even wanna work hard to eradicate the poverty syndrome. Loool I will save this page, my female cousins must read this ;d ;d ;d ;d. @poster please quit using whatever lotion you're applying on your body that attracts the bee on you.

Lol very wise point I swear. Instead of the guy to think of how he would make money, become rich & successful, he is chasing the op around hence no achievement (no cash, no babe). What a waste, this happens when peeps cant identify their priorities. Fine everyone makes mistakes but you can amend it with accomplishments & success. Instead of the op to strive to become a great man so those that castigated him b4 wld be ashamed he is stalking a lady.

@op, realistically, nothing you do would deter him from u. He would think its all a challenge for him to get you. The best way is to handle it by being straight forward, you are not interested & if he continues like this you would have no choice but to eliminate all communications with him. He would get tired as some point, just face what you are in school for and ignore all his stress. But don't insult him in the process so you don't say things you can't take back, you don't know tomorrow you might need his help or he might be a governor later.

You can even advice him on how to make it in life, like a business he can do, you can go an extra mile to gather little funds from your parents, friends etc for him to starts something small at least you have done your best. You can also buy him affordable clothes, provisions etc love-vendor him up, I am sure there are some ladies not necessary in your class but a normal babe that would appreciate him, just take him up as a charity case. He might just need a little love and amenities. Don't go out of your way but just help him a little & continue with your life. Your class na high profile O, so they don't do poor guys, na wa.

H

Dear, go get a boyfriend, Otherwise he'll still be on your case,

@Op
Dialogue with him and let him know you like ur freedom and all u want is simple friendship. Don't be scared he can't and won't do anything. If he still keeps disturbing u let me know. Just drop his details and as long as it's a Naija uni we will send somebody to put the fear of god in him.

@Poster, You need to get a restraining order

Skii:

@Poster, You need to get a restraining order

Where and from whom? Too much CSI tv series. I don't think it has gotten to that extent. She should just express her concerns to him, if he is still stubborn, then she ignores him and moves on with her life.

May I recommend the following book to those whose insecurities are their daily nightmares.

The book will really help you discover yourself and empower you to become a better and more confident person 24/7.

Because if you don't conquer your fears, they will certainly conquer you.

@OP: I personally do not think that people who are advising you to go blunt with the bloke are rational; particularly when one considers the social environment and culture. in western world, a face-off/ outright display of your disapproval about his stalking you may be right. however, our tenets of socialisation and communal pattern of co-existence differs from what you have in the western world where people often dissociate from others on slightest provocation.

my advice is that you can achieve what you want diplomatically. you have taken the right steps so far and good. if you come out blunt, the broke Bottom tetchy bloke will be so frustrated (who wouldn't be anyway ?, put yourself in his shoes - a social outcast who suddenly thinks himself lucky enough to at long last have an acquaintance ) and may embark on vindictive measures . don't under-estimate what a frustrated guy can do (more also when he is the irascible type). hence, avoid him further when you resume. snub him as much as you can. guys loathe being snubbed and would stay far away from girls they consider as snubs. however, do it with diplomacy (not rudely). it may take a little longer, but he will eventually understand that he is becoming a pest and will give you your deserved space.

Cyberfreak:
Whew!!

When I read the first reply, I was worried that I had just started a thread to attract insult to myself and will not get any help.
Thank you all, david, and others.
@Babamide and wysenas, you know what? That was what my friends even told me. They said since the guy does not have a social life he will cling to me the way he is doing. But me wey no first get sense went to do good samaritan for him.
@sexlog,
Na wa for the guy sha.
Do you know that he calls and calls even when am not picking? Then he uses business center line to call.
Then sends text.
All this, even when am not replying.
When will he back off na?

you don enter one chance...this one no get part two o