2buff:

You didn't do jack. You're still better equipped to bosom-feed your baby.
If you love your baby and your man (and have a lick of sense   ) you wouldn't let him bosom-feed your baby.

That's a role for u, if u must be forced to do the right thing.

Princek12:


Goodness! You call imaginary and implausible response answers?

Warning - while you were typing 23 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

Mrs, Chima:

Claremont has a point, what does study of life has to do with one's opinion of how a man and a woman role should be in THEIR RELATIONSHIP?

My point the entire time is why do people feel just because THEY believe a woman should stay at home and a man should work outside of the home is the PRIMARY reason because THEY SAID SO? In that case, a man or a woman who can't produce children aren't male nor female.  A woman with a womb should able to bear children just as a man with Fluid should be able to bear children.  

What about relationships where there aren't any children, does the woman still washes the dishes and cook all day?  

There are many relationships that has Princek12's point of view and aren't successful.

I am not saying because it has to do with "primary roles", but it has a lot to do with people trying to live their life and conduct their relationship to OTHER'S point of view.

There is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to stay at home and take care of the house as long as the husband doesn't have an issue and can provide entirety, however it is an issue when PEOPLE assume in TODAY'S economy that a man's sole income can support the entire family and when a woman wants to work outside of the house and contribute, she is trying to wear the pants.  WTF.  

There are thousands of Modern women who take care of their homes along with their husbands and still maintain their identity by working or going to school.  Just because one is in a marriage doesn't mean one should stop being what they were before marriage.

What if the man wasn't working and you were working, does that make him less of a man?  No, it doesn't so how does it make her less of a woman because she isn't washing dishes and has a nanny take the kids to school?

How can you tell an atheist that they should follow the Bible especially when many things in the Bible are harsh to women.  It is pointless for one to refer to the Bible when an atheist doesn't believe the Bible.  

emöfine:

For the supposedly "weaker sex" the "woman's" list is  conviently  more laborious than the "man". . . "changing a light bulb" - give me strength!

How many times does one cook as opposed to washing a car which by the way some just take to the car wash

Exactly! I just wonder how one can summarize a "role" for 3 billion+ people
 

Ha, I've been nominated for quite a few myself.

2buff:

You don't have to do it all, especially if oga is there to help with some things. The key thing is to not feel like you are sub-class for doing it.
I would rather my wife doesn't cook for me if she doesn't want to. It must be out of  the joy of her own heart and her love for me. If not, she can keep it. Been feeding myself just fine before she showed up.

Men & Women just gotta CHOOSE to better their home and marriage out of love without waiting on someone to force them with "rules" and "regulations".

Mrs, Chima:

When I told you hours ago, that you can repeat the questions many times, you will STILL GET THE SAME ANSWERS. I meant that.

I suggest you move on from it, don't want you to have a heart attack online.

MsDarkSkin:

i take one phone call and try to submit this and see. . .

GOTDAYUM!!!  

The study of life and FACTS go hand in hand Chima. The FACT is biology explains why we are different and what our niches in the world as a species is all about. It also explains WHY our species is divided into two different s3xes. Whether or not someone wants to abide by it is THEIR issue. Not sure what Claremont's point is or if there is even a point  , nor do I care.

Not sure where you are going with the bolded but my thing is nobody is saying a woman MUST stay home. Be a stay at home wife/mom or be a working wife or mom is cool either way. Which ever floats your boat is what's good for you at the end of the day HOWEVER it is a fact and has been proven that women who take their household obligations seriously REGARDLESS are likely to have healthier marriages and happier homes. Why else would a woman be a mother and wife? Mother and wife are both feminine and nurturing is the epitome of feminism. A woman doesn't have to bear children to be a nurturer, see her love for and catering to her partner is another form of nurturing.

What do you mean all day? Marriage is not a prison camp Chima. Why are you making it out to be? That is what I don't get. But to answer your question, if she is a stay at home wife obviously her aim would be to take care of the domestic responsibilities, live life and when possible she and her hubby can TRY for children << if that is what the couple desires. Seems logical.

IF AND ONLY WHEN as I said, there is little to NO balance between acceptance and respect. If 1/2 of the couple or both have an issue accepting their responsibilities and lack respect for one another of course there is room for FAILURE.

Other's point of view Some of the things on the list as I said I don't agree with and find ridiculous, what i find ridiculous may work for someone else, but the underlining message is clear, there are roles to be fulfilled by men and others by women.

Nobody is suggesting that chima and if they are then allow me to>>> lol.
Obviously not too many have the luxury of having a household where in spite of our effed up economy, the man will go out and the woman will stay at home and things will be a-ok!! nah, that's obviously not the case for most of us. However ,regardless if that is the case or if the woman is working/going to school, the MOMENT she decides to take a man as her HUSBAND/live in partner she has obligations.

lol Once you marry, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE/BEND part of yourself because it's NO LONGER about you! It's about TWO becoming one! Compromising is the key! That is what this is all about. Getting the job done fairly and playing the part. You are still you but you are maturing because you've gone to the next level. You're not "boy friend and girl friend" you're a UNIT. Your household should be run like a corporation. You and your hubby, the CEOs/Owners. Like all corporations it takes time to build and plan. You know how it's to be run, you know what is to be done to keep it moving right and you know it's not possible for one to do it all or for both to do it all simultaneously,  so you have tasks that both must abide by the get the gears grinding. Arguing about roles all of the time or being picky and choosy won't do anything but make that unit an EPIC FAILURE.

If the man isn't working and my salary can hold our family i would EXPECT him to take care of the domestic tasks then because again it's NOT about him or me, it's US/WE. The roles would be reversed however the roles ARE being played, PERIOD. A woman is never less than a woman for having a nanny but she should be WATCHING her employer's kids and INSTILLING her teachings NOT raising the children for the mother. There is a difference.

It ALL goes back to the women's movement. It's because of their "anything a man can do, we can do better" bullshiet that women ARE now having to look to careers that require 70 percent of their time just to get a decent salary, and give them less than half of the time required to dedicate themselves as mothers and wives.

But what I want to know to all the women who have an issue with physical domestic work, is the point in having children and a husband if all you want to do is warm up tv-dinners and eat out all of the time and NOT bubble pots and wash a few plates?   . Doesn't make you less than a woman, it makes you selfish and irresponsible.

Again as a result of the women's movement and "modern times", its unfortunate but rather admirable to say that I personally know women who have had to work two PLUS jobs and MADE time to spend time with their children and cook/clean. There is no excuse for baring children and being married but not want to play the part. You can go to school and work, BE that independent women BUT not forget you ARE someone's mother and wife. Sure he could take come of the weight off and on HIS day off take the kids and cook or what ever but never you make yourself "too busy" to do what you are supposed to so.  

I'm not interested in convincing any body of anything. The bible ALSO was used to justify slavery YET i still believe in God and refer to psalms when I am feeling weary although I am not a Christian. That is my choice and I am content with my choice. I'm not interested in the next man/woman's belief.  I was talking about BIOLOGY, not THEISM necessarily. There is a difference.

Princek12:



I did not expect you to answer it because I have observed that you avoid answering questions or give evasive answers. It just shows that you are not woman enough to give facts to back up your so called positions.

At least we know that you are the one who pumps the gas while your so called husband sits in the car.

At least we know that you are the one who opens the door for your man.

At least we know that your man bosom feeds your babies.

At least we know that your man is a house husband.

At least you know that you have at least achieved the equality you want in your marriage, or at best achieved complete dominion over your husband.

Outstrip:

Simple and short. Gbam right there. There is absolutely nothing and I cannot even emphasize enough NOTHING that I do for my family that I do because I have to. I do it all because I love to and brings me immense joy. If you are doing it simply because it is your role as a woman then, I don't even know how to address that. I think we should have evolved past that stage by now. The idea of a husband sitting somewhere pleased with himself because a woman is doing something out of obligation rather than out of love for him just makes me wonder what the point of being a husband or wife.
If you have the mentality that this is what a woman does and this is what a man does you will take your partner for granted. I even make a point to go out of my way to make it like he is doing something grand when our lawn looks perfect even though he kind of enjoys doing it. I cannot make shakara and say I am mad and refuse to cook he will walk into that kitchen and whip up something that will put me to shame. Who cooks most of the time? I do. Who cuts the grass most of the time? okay all the time. He does. Who watches the kids most of the time? I cannot honestly even say I do because many a time he has come to take them from me so I can rest. I cannot even remember the last time I ironed something. Both our income contributes to everything that applies to our family. There is nothing like "chop money" in my house or pocket money.

Mrs, Chima:

I know you were talking about Biology and you also mentioned the Bible.  

If we are going to use Biology in the equation, then a woman and a man who can't produce children aren't defined as a woman and man according to SOCIETY.

If we are going to use the Bible in the equation, then the contents in the Bible doesn't imply to Atheists and those who doesn't believe in the Bible.  

If someone create a thread saying that this is a primary role of a relationship, they have made a general inclusive statement saying this is what should occur in a relationship.  It is a difference when one makes a general statement/opinion and dictate that everyone should agree with the statement or their relationship or life isn't going to be successful.

Stating an opinion about YOUR relationship and ENFORCING an opinion about what other should do in THEIR RELATIONSHIP are two DIFFERENT THINGS.  

My objection isn't about women staying home washing dishes and cooking all day, my objection is about people who CHOOSE not to have primary roles in THEIR RELATIONSHIP are labeled as failures because they CHOSE not to live their lives like EVERYONE'S ELSE relationship.

Bending backward and forward is what single people do as well.  You bend backwards and forwards with your friends, family members, co-workers, and neighbors.  Bending backwards and forwards isn't inclusive to married people.  

Outstrip:

Simple and short. Gbam right there. There is absolutely nothing and I cannot even emphasize enough NOTHING that I do for my family that I do because I have to. I do it all because I love to and brings me immense joy. If you are doing it simply because it is your role as a woman then,  I don't even know how to address that. I think we should have evolved past that stage by now. The idea of a husband sitting somewhere pleased with himself because a woman is doing something out of obligation rather than out of love for him just makes me wonder what the point of being a husband or wife.
If you have the mentality that this is what a woman does and this is what a man does you will take your partner for granted. I even make a point to go out of my way to make it like he is doing something grand when our lawn looks perfect even though he kind of enjoys doing it. I cannot make shakara and say I am mad and refuse to cook he will walk into that kitchen and whip up something that will put me to shame. Who cooks most of the time? I do. Who cuts the grass most of the time? okay all the time. He does. Who watches the kids most of the time? I cannot honestly even say I do because many a time he has come to take them from me so I can rest. I cannot even remember the last time I ironed something. Both our income contributes to everything that applies to our family. There is nothing like "chop money" in my house or pocket money.

Mrs, Chima:

You guys shared "intra-roles" responsibilities and that is common in MANY MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS and some couples have a very traditional household, where a man does this and that and a woman does this and that.  

That's what makes the world go around because everyone have different lifestyles that works for their relationship and that is fact.  

Telling/enforcing someone that they should conduct their relationship this way and that way is just foolishness.

MsDarkSkin:

LOL i mentioned God not the bible Chima.  

You mentioned God and another chatter mentioned the bible.  

 

I guess when I said catering to and loving one's husband is a form of nurturing means nothing to you then.  

Loving and catering to husbands is different from barren and impotency that I was talking about.

the bible is a collection of testimonies, stories and myths Chima, it's for interpretation and to be used as a tool to guide people in life and as a reference. Whether or not someone believes in the stories word for word, doesn't take away from the logic behind them.   Whether or not I believe Adam and Eve literally ate a forbidden fruit doesn't change the fact that as human beings we have to resist temptations that can be fatal or harmful for ourselves or others. Not sure why you are digressing from the argument.

Let me clarify my point, I am not debating the Bible, a chatter stated the Bible is a guide in how relationships should be conducted and I stated that how can you convince an atheist who doesn't believe in the Bible about what they should do in their relationships.


I think it's hilarious people are stuck on this LITERAL list and not looking @ the fact that it's a) created for us to debate on WHICH ones we do or don't like (as the OP clearly asked for opinions) and b) a representation of the fact that there are REAL roles to be played in order for there to be balance. FACT: balance and role playing = healthy relationship. Nobody is talking about accepting EVERY SINGLE role listed Chima, it's about accepting that there are roles to be played, as I said before.

AGAIN, I have no issue with HIS LIST because it is his opinion and It isn't applicable to all relationships.


Since when did anyone say YOU, Chima, are obligated to live exactly the way we want to or to follow the roles posted by the op? Who is trying to "force" you to do anything?  

Telling someone that they should do this and that is enforcing in my opinion and they said women so therefore it include me.  

You are making a mountain out of an ant hill. Seriously. Do what's good to and for you. If your dude or you don't mind free styling and doing yall than that's what made it work for you and by all means I wish you the best however someone like me who live around a lot of women and have watched Divorce Court season after season can tell you the number one reason why marriages fail is because one or both partners don't do their part. The woman leaves the house a mess and won't cook or take care of her duties. The man feels unappreciated or is selfish with his money; etc. It's just logic.

That's what I have been saying on the threads for the last few hours, I have no issue with others do what good for their relationship.  Seriously.    I have seen shows where the man or woman decides to leave the relationship because of weight gain or loss, I guess it is a role to be fit or fat.  


giving advice or loaning loved ones $20   is not the same as marital compromises and sacrifices.

We will agree to disagree on that one.

Princek12:


which one do you believe in?