Princek12:

What you say sounds good in theory but, as a practical matter, has no teeth. Who says a man or a woman has no primary role? A lot of these roles are based on biological dispositions, many of which are common to many cultures. If I may ask you, while you were growing up, assuming you grew up in a nuclear family, were there any roles that were more likely than not performed by your mother and not your father, and vice versa?

And you kind run your mouth as much as you want, you will not likely find a husband, particularly an African husband if you so desire, if you do not know how to cook.

claremont:

The main question I have is; where do these so-called "primary roles" come from, who invented them?! If it is culture, then my comments still stands. Someone who is from a different culture will not buy-in to these roles. If the roles stem from religion i.e. the Bible states that a woman should be a "help-meet" to the man, it still doesn't hold water because religion is not in a position to define primary roles for human beings. If you say a lot of these roles are based on "biological dispositions", then you are completely wrong again; let's not even go there.

Mrs, Chima:

The answer is still the same. Pay attention to the keyword: collectively.

MsDarkSkin:

i agree with the list.

HOWEVER,

Satisfying the man s3xually (if and only when he is in the mood) and the man being the final decision maker?

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

For all else I am 'ok' with them. I dont see anything wrong with a woman taking care of domestic duties so long as the man does the physical labour to provide for the household. Its about being fair.

horny4u:

Man
Being the provider;Yes
making sure there is food on the table; YES
making sure the utilities are on; YES
washing the car(s); YES PLS
cutting the grass and maintaining the yard, if any; EMPLOY SOMEONE ELSE PETTY HUSTLE
being the final decision maker; YES FREES ME TO SUBMIT , PREFER TO A Taken In Hand MARRIAGE ANYWAY
head of the household; OH YES
making sure his wife get Enough Intimacy; YES PLS
changing the light bulbs other things that need to be replaced; and YES PLS
making sure that the car(s) are maintained and in good working order. YES




Woman
Washing dishes; YES
Doing the laundry, including folding and ironing; YES
cleaning the house; YES
cooking the food; YES
getting the kids ready for the school, if there are kids in the relationship; BOTH OF US O; KIDS NEED TO GET BOTHS ATTENTION
changing the diapers of the baby, if needed; BOTH OF US O
assistant to the head of the household; and YES
satisfying her husband sexually. YES SIR

In my opinion when it concerns kids we are going to giving them equal attention : its important for their balance, I am not for the papa provides and disappears , he will play football with our soon and suwe with our daughter no matter how silly it makes him seem, Dad daycare o.
I agree to all else, there is strong power in letting my man take the decision jare, i can relax.

2buff:

Such views are popular when young. But the more you grow up and begin to FEEL and place yourself in your partner's shoes, the more you see how it wouldnt be fair to not give them a choice and work things out.

It's why some typical Nigerian marriages fail out here.

Mrs, Chima:

Hmm.

What gets me is when many of them (men) complain that women depends on them TOO MUCH like gold diggers THEN say that women need to support themselves as well.

The roles listed above is exactly what a dependent woman with no power or hidden agendas will do.

MsDarkSkin:

Yes while men behaving as if they own women might be the reason for spousal conflicts in africa its the LACK of role playing that is the reason why divorce in the west is frequent. There is a time and a place for everything. Im not going to be a victim nor a supreme feminist in my household. I will respect my role as the woman (the nurturer) while demanding my respect AND respecting my partners role as the man of the house. There has to be respect and balance.

Being a woman is not and should not be an issue. Its not about being second class its about realizing that we birth the children for a reason. Im not going to climb a light post to prove I am just as good as the men. Lol I can see some of my sisters are not feeling this,thread but come on. The reality is there are separate roles for men and women.

sexkillz:

Bullshit!

"Dont smoke and open a thread. If you are to smoke, dont open a thread. If you are to open a thread, dont smoke!"

Mrs, Chima:

Hmm.  

What gets me is when many of them (men) complain that women depends on them TOO MUCH like gold diggers THEN say that women need to support themselves as well.  

The roles listed above is exactly what a dependent woman with no power or hidden agendas will do.

Princek12:

The roles come as a result of biological disposition. If you took biology in school, and you studied the female and male propensities in lower animals, you will understand what I am talking about. Most of what I wrote transcends all cultures.

Let me ask you some questions:

Who proposes to who in a relationship?

Who buys the engagement ring?

If you and your hubby drive to a fuel station, who comes out of the car to hold the nozzle and pump the gas in the car?

When you and your hubby approach the entrance to a building, and if both of you have free hands, who opens the door for whom?

Give me the reasons for your answer?

Princek12:

so you "collectively' go to the fuel pump, collectively hold the nozzle, and collectively pump the fuel.

You collectively open the door for each other.

Awwwww!!! That is so romantic!.

Outstrip:

nene1 is arguing with herself. You are saying what everybody said and yet you claim that they are too westernized. SMH. read your posts again

nene1:

She's dodging the question as she knew she didn't have a point. Even western women who claim to be so independent, still expect a man to do things like open the door and pull out her chair. If we all can do the same things, why don't they start opening doors and pulling out chairs.

Princek12:

The gold digger situation is where a woman dates a man solely for the purpose of deriving a monetary or other benefit. We are not talking about that here. Here, we are talking about a man providing for his wife and family, which markedly differs from a gold digging arrangement. Presumably the wife loves her husband and vice versa, and whatever money you spend on her should not be a reason for calling her a gold digger.

Princek12:

so you "collectively' go to the fuel pump, collectively hold the nozzle, and collectively pump the fuel.

You collectively open the door for each other.

Awwwww!!! That is so romantic!.

Mrs, Chima:

Thanks.    Some people are romantically r3tarded unfortunately.

2buff:

It takes a mature lady who thinks on a much better plane to get it like u have.
What I wrote there is an accommodation to those females who think females should be free to do whatever and not woman up their role (cuz we know they are much more than your precious rare kind). With their freedom must come their choice to CHOOSE to take up their rightful roles when they see where the family is going. Many have done so midway.

If THEY never chose it, it will simply feel like slavery. And a slave, when free (eg we don land Yankee), will despise whomever they perceived as their slave driver.

Mrs, Chima:

Read slowly.  

The men that I have heard OUTSIDE OF NAIRALAND in all RACES have complained their WIVES are too dependent on them and they need to contribute to the relationship financially.  

Loving a wife or a husband doesn't have a damn thing to do with paying bills.  If that was the case, many people would be at the bank cashing their loves to pay their house and car notes.  If both parties need to work to sustain the household then IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.  

Pride is one of the seven deadliest sins.  Don't let it consume you.  

Princek12:

I am glad you know that. You are not woman enough to answer a simple question, but you have the audacity to say some people are romantically slow.

I smell romantic retardation in "collectively" pumping gas at the pump.

Princek12:

you have allowed feminism to skew your ability to use common sense to look at how a man and a woman deals together. Gold digging is another issue, and I have not said that there is anything wrong with a woman contributing financially to the upkeep of the house. What I have said is that there are certain primary duties that each party in the relationship has.

And a woman being too dependent on a man does not mean she is a gold digger. Being a gold digger is all about the intent of the woman:whether she is dating the man solely for the man's money. A man who is taking care of the upkeep of the house can still have a woman who works and makes her own money, which she spends on herself.

How does a man being primarily responsible for taking care of the bills of the house translate to a woman being too dependent on the man. I never said that the woman cannot work and make her own money if she chooses to do so.

Mrs, Chima:

Apparently these men have an issue with their DEPENDENT WIVES and feel that they need to contribute to the house as well.   Let it go. 

If being able to speak my mind without legal persecution is Feminist, I proudly wear the crown.   

Don't let chauvinism kill you.