what they say about Arab men, that they only want black women for pleasure only?

I met one at school, i thought him handsome, so I sparked a conversation with him. after that, every time we saw one another, we would briefly chat. until one day I asked him if it were ok if I added him on facebook. He pretended to fiddle around with his phone, and said he couldn't on facebook from it, then asked for my number.

he called me later on that night, which surprised me, because you are supposed to wait at least three days before you call a girl so that you don't look desperate. That was the first clue right there that something was not right. We had a lengthy conversation. He told me that he had come here from that UAE, and although his dad supported him, essentially he was broke. I really didn't believe that, because his clothes were way too nice. But I allowed him to tell that little white lie, because he probably felt that if he told me that he had money, that that was all that I would want from him, or so he thought.

to make a long story short, he told me he was not looking for a relationship, because he had recently gotten out of "bad relationship, and had been really hurt" ( lol, how convenient.) i really didn't care because I dont want a relationship either. He told me how attracted he was to me, and I immediately cut him off and told him that I was saving myself into marriage, and that if all he wanted was a bed warmer then i was not the one. he said that that was ok.

a couple of days later he called me again. the conversation started off well enough, but then he started talking about all these sexual things that he would do to me, that would only please him, but he would still be able to get some sexual satisfaction from me, because he knew that I was serious about what he said. also, he was like, that if he went out, that i would have to pay my own way, because he was broke. I told him that he better get himself a part time job if he wanted to take me out, because I was a queen and deserved to be treated with respect.

needless to say, I am really mad, because now i have to see this jerk at school, and i really dont know how to act, because its inevitable that I will run into him again. what do i do? and why did he approach me like i was some kind of heaux. I mean i dont dress in revealing clothes at all, and carry myself like a lady. I just dont understand why men always approach me like this. i mean i know im really pretty, but this justs needs to stop. when did men stop respecting women?

you can't live your life by going by hear say. Different people different experiences besides you know what you want and what you will tolerate so if you see signs of bullshyt dump that Arab azz

you are supposed to wait at least three days before you call a girl so that you don't look desperate

really?

never heard that before.

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of course im attracted to him and was sorely disappointed at his personality. but who cares that he is attractive, he's a bad person, and he made me mad.

and so what, it's my choice to wait until marriage, and he should respect that, and if he doesn't like that, he shouldn't have said he was ok with it to begin with and should have never called e back.

what im concerned about is how to deal with him when i see him again.

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You guys aren't dating so carry on as normal. I don't see why you're unsure on how to react. Please don't make him feel important. Mchew!!!

as usual, you provide great responses and advice! thankyou! its just that sometimes I dont know how to tell men about how I feel about sex, because I know that they are not going to like what i have to say. thats why most of the time, I interact with males on a level of friendship, and never bring up anything about relationships, or even dates. he's the one who brought that mess up!


oh well, another one bites the dust.

Op, u no wan chop Arab money? E no dey finish o! [kiddin.] lol

Is it just me or what?OP seriously i don't see what your problem is or what's there to complain about o,you got attracted to him first that's why you struck a convo,you said you don't want a relationship or the obvious thing he wants,what then do you want that made you want to add him on facebook?don't say "just friends" cos no one wants to stay "just friends" with someone he\she is attracted to,I think you are just disappointed he doesn't want what you want which is what i'm yet to figure out or did you expect him to propose since you are keeping yourself till marriage?

If you don't want a relationship like he doesn't and you don't want intimate things too then just let him know,it can't be that hard now can it?admit you wanted something,realize you can't have it and then move on,simples.

Hmm.

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Ranoscky:

Op, u no wan chop Arab money? E no dey finish o! [kiddin.] lol

ok this much i understood, the rest? i dont know.


and no i dont want his money. I dont need anybody's money. Id rather go without that ask anyone for a dime.

but he offered, so he pays. everyone knows that rule.

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TisaBone:

ok this much i understood, the rest? i dont know.


and no i dont want his money. I dont need anybody's money. Id rather go without that ask anyone for a dime.

but he offered, so he pays. everyone knows that rule.

Lol. You come across as different, innocent and naive, all wrapped up in one. Isn't it a given that everyone pays their bills in the west? I get 'invited' for a night out for dinner only to find that I'm expected to pay for myself  . And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a guy. The girls in the company do the same and sometimes I get embarrassed but I'm told that's the culture here even dating couples. So don't you know that already?

freecocoa:

Is it just me or what?OP seriously i don't see what your problem is or what's there to complain about o,you got attracted to him first that's why you struck a convo,you said you don't want a relationship or the obvious thing he wants,what then do you want that made you want to add him on facebook?don't say "just friends" cos no one wants to stay "just friends" with someone he\she is attracted to,I think you are just disappointed he doesn't want what you want which is what i'm yet to figure out or did you expect him to propose since you are keeping yourself till marriage?

If you don't want a relationship like he doesn't and you don't want intimate things too then just let him know,it can't be that hard now can it?admit you wanted something,realize you can't have it and then move on,simples.  

i dont know what i want, which is understandable at my age. but i don't think that i should have to go into seclusion, and not still talk to men, just because of what I choose not to do.


in the end it doesn't matter, he's just one fish in the sea. besides i got some satisfaction from the ordeal. because of him i got my "groove back" and he has reaffirmed the fact that i have what it takes to get whoever i want.

besides, it's my belief that eventually i will run into a man who will be willing to wait for me. if i don't still talk to men and stay on the scene, that man will never find me.

MarcAnthon:

Lol. You come across as different, innocent and naive, all wrapped up in one. Isn't it a given that everyone pays their bills in the west? I get 'invited' for a night out for dinner only to find that I'm expected to pay for myself  . And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a guy. The girls in the company do the same and sometimes I get embarrassed but I'm told that's the culture here even dating couples. So don't you know that already?

Sorry that is not the culture in America.  American women are still expecting to not pay for their meals or outings especially if they are asked out.  If you guys are friends and it is a mutual thing then that is different. 

If a chick offered to pay for your meal that means she think you are broke.  Real talk.  (If you guys are just friends and not in a relationship)

I have never paid for anything when I am on dates. (I don't ask men out)

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MarcAnthon:

Lol. You come across as different, innocent and naive, all wrapped up in one. Isn't it a given that everyone pays their bills in the west? I get 'invited' for a night out for dinner only to find that I'm expected to pay for myself  . And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a guy. The girls in the company do the same and sometimes I get embarrassed but I'm told that's the culture here even dating couples. So don't you know that already?

lol. i think that's part of my charm. i just refuse to hold onto hurt and pain and life's worries that usually prematurely ages and makes one jaded. i won't accept less than what I WANT. any man who wants me has to get with MY PROGRAM. I'm  not desperate nor will i settle. it was different had he not asked me out on a date, then i would not have minded paying for myself. because once again, I have never asked anyone for anything, and dont even have the desire to.

Mrs, Chima:

Sorry that is not the culture in America.  American women are still expecting to not pay for their meals or outings especially if they are asked out.  If you guys are friends and it is a mutual thing then that is different. 

If a chick offered to pay for your meal that means she think you are broke.  Real talk.  (If you guys are just friends and not in a relationship)

I have never paid for anything when I am on dates.  (I don't ask men out)

And then I watched this video sometime back about how AA women prefer African men to AA men because, among others 'African men would pay for dinner when they were out on dates, but AA men wouldn't'. I found that hilarious.

But if you say so. . .

MarcAnthon:

And then I watched this video sometime back about how AA women prefer African men to AA men because, among others 'African men would pay for dinner when they were out on dates, but AA men wouldn't'. I found that hilarious.

But if you say so. . .

LMAO@women choosing African men because they pay for a chicken sandwich.

Those Black American women are silly and attracted silly arse men.  I know different nationalities of women who have dated African and they have bad reviews about their dates. 

However, I have dated non-African men and they have all paid for my dates (some of them were Black men) 

I don't say so, I know so.

How about people pay their own way or pay half. Big deal!! Even if he says he's gonna pay I don't see why a woman shouldn't offer to pay part of the bill, especially knowing the guy is broke, and in your case a student. Girl, to be honest with you if you're not ready for intimacy then stay clear of guys-in that type of way and especially male students. They're in that new world filled with lots of chicks and they're mostly looking to smash.    And if you must date how bout you start off as friends first and then seeing where it leads. Not every relationship will lead to marriage so please forget about this matter and try not to keep reminding yourself about it.

TisaBone:


lol. i think that's part of my charm. i just refuse to hold onto hurt and pain and life's worries that usually prematurely ages and makes one jaded. i won't accept less than what I WANT. any man who wants me has to get with MY PROGRAM. I'm  not desperate nor will i settle. it was different had he not asked me out on a date, then i would not have minded paying for myself. because once again, I have never asked anyone for anything, and dont even have the desire to.

I do hope you know that relationships are all about compromises. Not that your shouldn't have some 'get with it or no deal' stand points, but you don't want to be too rigid either.

Mrs, Chima:

LMAO@women choosing African men because they pay for a chicken sandwich.

Those Black American women are silly and attracted silly arse men.  I know different nationalities of women who have dated African and they have bad reviews about their dates. 

However, I have dated non-African men and they have all paid for my dates (some of them were Black men) 

I don't say so, I know so.

Sorry . . . since you know so

MarcAnthon:

Sorry . . . since you know so

Very good boy. You are learning fast. (rubbing your big floppy ears)

TisaBone:


i dont know what i want, which is understandable at my age. but i don't think that i should have to go into seclusion, and not still talk to men, just because of what I choose not to do.


in the end it doesn't matter, he's just one fish in the sea. besides i got some satisfaction from the ordeal. because of him i got my "groove back" and he has reaffirmed the fact that i have what it takes to get whoever i want.

besides, it's my belief that eventually i will run into a man who will be willing to wait for me. if i don't still talk to men and stay on the scene, that man will never find me.

You don't know what you want?please how old are you?aren't you the girl who's 23 on another thread? Well since you don't know what you want,I suggest you steer clear of guys and subdue whatever attraction you have for any guy till you know what you want.

@tpia.

I never once led this guy on! unless if you call smiling at a man, leading him on.

besides, he's just as attracted to me as i am to him and he told me so, because he said he had been watching me for a while but was scared to approach me. and yes you are right, he is very experienced. i peeped game immediately and was astounded at how suave he was. but i still knew it was BS, therefore that made me angry, so i dont care about his detailed list. he can kick rocks, and kiss where the sun dont shine for all i care.

a man doesn't call the shots unless he has proved that he has what it takes to be a boss. and thats farrrr down the line, not in the dating stage. in the meantime, im not getting with anyone's program. a woman shouldn't have to settle for less, especially if she know's her worth.

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@ freecocoa


i know i dont want to settle. i have too that too many times with too many women, and they are all EXTREMELY  unhappy.


@ MarcAnthon


thats the whole point, its not a relationship. besides he was the one with all the requirements, but I also had requirements as well. He wanted what he wanted, and I wanted what I wanted.  On my part, some things you can't be compromised on, or manipulated into doing. which he prob would have tried to do next. He came to me with that old "you think im out to hurt you? line. and i told him he never could because I would never let him. he was silent for a long moment.  he could either take it,,,or do as he did and just leave it. im grateful, because at least i know what he is about, so i dont have to wonder. but he KNEW no matter how hard he tried he could not get what he wanted out of me, so in a way im proud of myself, for staying true to what i said i would do. it was just a test from god.

tpia@:



i hope it's not the nler called arab boy because that one is probably married already.

See how you wan take pour sand for person garri.


@Tisabone,Your last post addressed to me is in contradiction with the first one but whatever its your call,goodluck with your life.