@all
Can some of the respondent (ifyalwaysan seglamite etc) be thoughtful when they are responding to a threadm it quite unfortunate that some of u r even called the poster a fool, that is too harsh.I am not saying that u shud pet her but there are better ways that
U can pass ur advice across if all at u have a meaningful and encouraging one. U could be in her shoe tomorrow and if u r told off or advised in such a derogatory manner, how would u feel---- worst off I think

YOu should be happy that he chose to walk out of the relationship. Why should you want to stay in a terrible situation. Dude is childish, and there are more problem ahead even if you try to settle. But since he doesn't care , he might not care if you go f.cuk outside and bring a baby from another man. Or you have to ma.stur.bate daily and buy a lot of se.x toys. Terrible situation. I tell you be happy he left. Now contact a lawyer and send him divorce papers to sign

marriage wahala sha.It keeps getting worse as the year goes by!

@poster I really feel for U̶̲̥̅̊, cos you have been mizzzzzzzzing kpekus o.

That's d problem with all dis praying and my pastor said dis and dat, how can U̶̲̥̅̊ date a man and not know his erectile problem , smh.

We need hear the other side of the story abeg,

kai-kai story,

Fellow nairalanders,im new here,but i have a serious problem i will like to share with us,and hopefully find a solution via ur advice and contributions.I got married last year.After my marriage,my hubby decided not do anything to contribute financially to the family.He was trading before we met and married,but after the marriage,i noticed that he wasnt going for his business anymore,and when i enquired from him,he said things aint going well.I tried getting jobs for him and even stocked a shop with goods for him,yet he didnt make anything out of it and it went down the drain.He lost hope and decided to stay at home all day.I started getting agitated about it.Secondly he never told me about his erectile dysfunction,and since we never made love before marriage due to my spiritual life and belief i didnt know about it until after marriage.We have tried medically,but it aint working.I threatened to walkout of the marriage,and to my suprise,the mum took him in,and he has been with the family since xmas,and now the mum is helping him get out of the country so that we dont reconcile.Please what do i do?I need ur honest and sincere advice

Don't use religious emotions to mislead this forum. Your spiritual belief claim is deceptive, because I am 10000000% convinced that this yarn is a bloody lie. There's no single motivation whatsoever for any rational person to stay-put in this sort of marriage. You were even afforded a faultless break when the man budged and you are still at this point on the lookout for advice? Abeg, if you need advice, tell the true story.

Sister,what do you actually want?.Is  it a functional joystick or the restoration of business.?.I know it must be a functional joystick.My advice to you is, pray and see a good doctor .As for divorce i wont advise you to  think about it because the bible tells us that God hates divorce.See your pastor for counselling and run away from that man that is eyeing you now.

Op by now u should have realized what you got urself. Ur husband deceived u becos he knows he is sexually irresponsible. there is no need to mince word, he was and he is still dishonest about his condition. Even his mother knows abt his son's problem from the way they she crab her son since and making arrange for his travel. If its not a natural cause, she should hav been concerned abt finding remedy to the problem, they jus used u to confirm his is impotent. Sorry this happened to you but as people has already said, u need to work on ur self and move on,it's not easy but ur future is more important than someone u call a husband who can stay for months with his mum without caring abt u. This kind of thing has happen to someone and I can tell u the earlier u realize and live the better for u. And in case u don't know if this problem were from you, that ur mother in law would have chased u away from her son's house from the way she controls her son. sorry to say this, he is not man enough financially and health wise, u have tried as a wife to raise him but he is not working you so move on.

Mrs Poster, if you are truly religious as you claimed, fast and pray for seven days. God would reveal to you that your mother-in-law used your husband's manhood for money. Please free yourself from bondage and make yourself available to thousands of responsible and hard-below-the-belt men desperately looking for ladies to marry. 'Better still' you may keep running after the baby-man and live a life full of agony.

Poster
You said you are a spiritual person and i believe it means that you are a christian and a born again believer.
Are you sure that you heard from the Lord before marrying him? if you did hear from the Lord that he is your husband to marry, have no fear because the just shall live by faith. Cry unto the Lord and He will turn your tears to laughter. God did not promise any Xtian a trouble free life, but He assured us of a safe landing. Job 14:1 says that ''man born of a woman is of a few days but full of troubles.''
You are in marriage already and it is an everlasting bond that must not be broken except by death (Romans 7:1-3). Do not ever think about a divorce. Even if you divorce him, Heaven recognises your marriage with him as still in existence and sees you as an adulterer.
If you did not hear from the Lord and of your own volition went into the marriage, you are married and no going back. Since you did not have pre-marital sex with him, then you were obedient to God. You should go back to the Lord in prayer and refer to the fact that you had no pre-marital sex in obedience to His word and ask for His intervention and He will arise on your behalf. He will fight for you (Exodus 14:13-14).
The Bible Solution:
If the story is true, if the man has walked out on his own and is no more interested in the marriage as it seems, then get on with your own life but you must remain single for as long as he is still living. For you to enter any relationship with any other man is adultery before the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 & Romans 7:1-3). if you go against the Scripture, then you are toying with your eternal destination i.e. if you value it.
Meanwhile, turn over the matter to Jesus because with God,nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37)( Jeremiah 32:17&27)
Do not lose hope yet. God can do wonders, heal your husband and return him home. Every marriage goes through storms and every person on Earth goes through a wilderness in this life. Do not accept defeat. Fight the battle in prayers. If
you can stand, you will have a testimony soon and be an inspiration to others going through similar situations in their marriages.
I suggest church marital counselling in a Bible believing, Bible practising Church.

Ugom30:

Fellow nairalanders,im new here,but i have a serious problem i will like to share with us,and hopefully find a solution via ur advice and contributions.I got married last year.After my marriage,my hubby decided not do anything to contribute financially to the family.He was trading before we met and married,but after the marriage,i noticed that he wasnt going for his business anymore,and when i enquired from him,he said things aint going well.I tried getting jobs for him and even stocked a shop with goods for him,yet he didnt make anything out of it and it went down the drain.He lost hope and decided to stay at home all day.I started getting agitated about it.Secondly he never told me about his erectile dysfunction,and since we never made love before marriage due to my spiritual life and belief i didnt know about it until after marriage.We have tried medically,but it aint working.I threatened to walkout of the marriage,and to my suprise,the mum took him in,and he has been with the family since xmas,and now the mum is helping him get out of the country so that we dont reconcile.Please what do i do?I need ur honest and sincere advice.

this is why i am an advocate of sex before marriage. . . .

and this should serve as a lesson to all those celibates who think they are on the right track. . . .how can?
people should task their brain and realize the people left in the world today have been careless with their health issues and erectile dysfunction and infertility are on the rise.

men(in their bid to be metrosexual) take loads of pills from weight reduction pills to 6-pac pills. the alcohol intake in the youths today has also increased to what youths used to take many moons ago. junk foods, fitness issues, etc - all these things have side effects which may or might not cause all sorts of dysfunction. not every man walking on the streets is active. impotency rate is on the rise - women should shine their eyes and not fall for men who cannot get it up. if a man readily agrees with you on the sex before marriage in this day and age - a woman should run and never look back. . .

same applies to the women - many of them have ruptured their tubes and are looking for gullible men to hitch them up.
it's only after several years of trying for babies in marriage that the secret would be revealed and then what? i don't pity the original poster one jot.
let her spirituality and years of celibacy wake up her husband's phallus.
you've made your bed, now you must lie on it. . . . .

Poster, your husband is depressed because of his erectile dysfunction. No man can concentrate or focus on anything when they have penile problems. Talk to his best friend or any other family member that he respects so that he can get treatments. Everybody has their peculiar problem they are covering up under their shinmi This is yours, sort it out!

You'll be glad you worked on your marriage during this turbulent times in future.

coogar:

this is why i am an advocate of sex before marriage. . . .

and this should serve as a lesson to all those celibates who think they are on the right track. . . .how can?
people should task their brain and realize the people left in the world today have been careless with their health issues and erectile dysfunction and infertility are on the rise.

men(in their bid to be metrosexual) take loads of pills from weight reduction pills to 6-pac pills. the alcohol intake in the youths today has also increased to what youths used to take many moons ago. junk foods, fitness issues, etc - all these things have side effects which may or might not cause all sorts of dysfunction. not every man walking on the streets is active. impotency rate is on the rise - women should shine their eyes and not fall for men who cannot get it up. if a man readily agrees with you on the sex before marriage in this day and age - a woman should run and never look back. . .

same applies to the women - many of them have ruptured their tubes and are looking for gullible men to hitch them up.
it's only after several years of trying for babies in marriage that the secret would be revealed and then what? i don't pity the original poster one jot.
let her spirituality and years of celibacy wake up her husband's phallus.
you've made your bed, now you must lie on it. . . . .

Your post makes half sense

Let's say a woman needs to be convinced that a man can get it up - Route, Be Intimate and check - GOOD

What about the man, to confirm that the woman is capable of bearing children nko? -

Bottomline, I am an advocate of NO SEX before marriage but I will strip unclad for my g.f/fiancee to know that I can indeed get it up!
I would check her also to know that she aint keeping some Joystick down dea lol

WhyAWhy:

Your post makes half sense

Let's say a woman needs to be convinced that a man can get it up - Route, Be Intimate and check - GOOD

What about the man, to confirm that the woman is capable of bearing children nko? -

Bottomline, I am an advocate of NO SEX before marriage but I will strip unclad for my g.f/fiancee to know that I can indeed get it up!
I would check her also to know that she aint keeping some Joystick down dea lol

impregnate the girl before marriage, duh!

@ Poster what is your problems sef, you wanted out and now he is out, you re crying your eyes out.
Look my dear sista, the bitter truth is that the bobo no want you again!! .oh sorry i didn't mean to be hard on you; brave up my dear, move on with your life, let him travel, if he is yours he will come back to u.
From what you wrote here you are not even happy in that marriage so, why do u still want to in prison yourself there.
A word is enough for the wise.

The op is obviously scared of going back to being a spinter after all the gra gra she made when he first put the ring on her finger! She also has to consider all the years of prayer and fasting for a hubby before she got married!
Kai! woman don suffer o!

There was no marriage in the first place. I mean the marriage is void. This is for the fact that he did not disclose his medical problem to you before the marriage. If u cannot bear it, then opt for divorce. If its in my church marriage,(catholic), if you re going into marriage and fails to disclose things like bad medical problem e.g impotence, to ur partner, and after the marriage, he or she finds out and concludes not to live with it, the church dissolves the marriage(if you take it to them). Except you come to accept to live with it. They will dissolve it saying the marriage did nt take place in the first place.

It's NOT your husband's fault that he can't get it up! Granted, he should have told you BEFORE marriage and him keeping it from you is just plain wrong!

But you have to ask yourself, if the tables were turned . . . if you knew you were barren . . . will you be quick to tell the one you are about to marry

As far as I'm concerned, testing a man's virility before marriage is equivalent to testing a woman's fertility!

It's true that such things are grounds for divorce but if you really wanted a divorce, you wont be here asking for help.

Your husband needs you now, dont let him think his mother is better help to him than his own wife.

Ujujoan:

It's NOT your husband's fault that he can't get it up! Granted, he should have told you BEFORE marriage and him keeping it from you is just plain wrong!

But you have to ask yourself, if the tables were turned . . . if you knew you were barren . . . will you be quick to tell the one you are about to marry

As far as I'm concerned, testing a man's virility before marriage is equivalent to testing a woman's fertility!

It's true that such things are grounds for divorce but if you really wanted a divorce, you wont be here asking for help.

Your husband needs you now, dont let him think his mother is better help to him than his own wife.

you mean you won't tell your fiance that valuable information about yourself and lure him into marriage? haba.
anyways, i don't need for any woman to tell me the truth. i would find out myself.
20 days of back to back unprotected sex is the test - if she doesn't miss her period after that, i would be taking her to my doctor to see what the problem is.

coogar:

you mean you won't tell your fiance that valuable information about yourself and lure him into marriage? haba.
anyways, i don't need for any woman to tell me the truth. i would find out myself.
20 days of back to back unprotected sex is the test - if she doesn't miss her period after that, i would be taking her to my doctor to see what the problem is.

20 days huh?

So you think a woman who doesnt get pregnant after one month of marriage is not fertile

I'm not saying I won't tell, but surely you know a lot of people won't!

Ujujoan:

It's NOT your husband's fault that he can't get it up! Granted, he should have told you BEFORE marriage and him keeping it from you is just plain wrong!

But you have to ask yourself, if the tables were turned . . . if you knew you were barren . . . will you be quick to tell the one you are about to marry

As far as I'm concerned, testing a man's virility before marriage is equivalent to testing a woman's fertility!

It's true that such things are grounds for divorce but if you really wanted a divorce, you wont be here asking for help.

Your husband needs you now, dont let him think his mother is better help to him than his own wife.

The problem here is beyound his erectile dysfunction oh, He doesnt work or want to continue his business even after she restocked his shop, he doesnt seem to care about work or anything else. She has tried to get help for him he doesnt seem to be bothered about it. If a woman is married and barren she will not sit down and be nonchalant while her husband runs around looking for help.

debrief08:

The problem here is beyound his erectile dysfunction oh, He doesnt work or want to continue his business even after she restocked his shop, he doesnt seem to care about work or anything else. She has tried to get help for him he doesnt seem to be bothered about it. If a woman is married and barren she will not sit down and be nonchalant while her husband runs around looking for help.

actually, the problem is his erectile dysfunction!
his confidence is shot - that's the nature of men. anything remotely affecting the health of their phalli is a big deal!
he's lost interest in everything in life because he cannot get it up!

Ujujoan:

20 days huh?
So you think a woman who doesnt get pregnant after one month of marriage is not fertile

she's not fertile enough for me.
fertility has different grades. if my fiancee does not get pregnant before marriage - then trouble looms.

I'm not saying I won't tell, but surely you know a lot of people won't!

i agree 100%

coogar:

actually, the problem is his erectile dysfunction!
his confidence is shot - that's the nature of men. anything remotely affecting the health of their phalli is a big deal!
he's lost interest in everything in life because he cannot get it up!

Ok, learnt something new today. Hmmm explains somethings. Thanks

Pregnancy and marriage are 2 different things- women should be more careful with getting pregnant than getting married, even if they had a child the man will still be poor and lazy, that will have been 10 times worse.

Quote from IfySimple
''There was no marriage in the first place. I mean the marriage is void. This is for the fact that he did not disclose his medical problem to you before the marriage. If u cannot bear it, then opt for divorce. If its in my church marriage,(catholic), if you re going into marriage and fails to disclose things like bad medical problem e.g impotence, to ur partner, and after the marriage, he or she finds out and concludes not to live with it, the church dissolves the marriage(if you take it to them). Except you come to accept to live with it. They will dissolve it saying the marriage did nt take place in the first place.''



@ifysimple
I am indeed surprised to hear that a church can dissolve a marriage
You mean that a church that joined a couple together in holy wedlock will turn around and dissolve the same marriage later?
It is news to me and strange!

thanks for all your contributions,it has really done a greaat good to me,am an engineer,my family are aware of the problem,all i said is the truth,what do i have to hide when i need help?Im 30yrs old,am an mfm child from birth,it was a holy marriage with church wedding.Im not afraid of being a spinster,just that i want 2 knw other people's opinion outside of people i knw around me.Once again i appreciate your honest responds.As for the people that want to flog me,i beg una o.

@Sagamite

You maggot, already, you will perish on same Ikorodu road as this month cannot end without you receiving the  pronouncement you made for other for doing no wrong to you.

Just say your goodbye this week as you will be crushed by same trailer you prophecy for others,

andyanders:

@Sagamite

You maggot, already, you will perish on same Ikorodu road as this month cannot end without you receiving the  pronouncement you made for other for doing no wrong to you.

Just say your goodbye this week as you will be crushed by same trailer you prophecy for others,

You are a cretin!

Go and kill yourself and do humanity a favour.

Foooool!

@Sagamite
Waste. a product of waste you are indeed.

Free yourself, My sister, Free yourself.

Ugom30:

thanks for all your contributions,it has really done a greaat good to me,am an engineer,my family are aware of the problem,all i said is the truth,what do i have to hide when i need help?Im 30yrs old,am an mfm child from birth,it was a holy marriage with church wedding.Im not afraid of being a spinster,just that i want 2 knw other people's opinion outside of people i knw around me.Once again i appreciate your honest responds.As for the people that want to flog me,i beg una o.

You call yourself a christian? Why is his ED problem a big deal? Why cant you have an ASEXUAL relationship and believe in God to provide kids for you the way God did for Mary and Joseph?

Don't let the people mocking you for adhering to your religious principles break your spirits. As much as they paint a rosy picture, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. They also have their own problems stemming from their lifestyles as much as you have your own problems. That is life! You did the right thing by sticking to what you believe in. Do not let anyone make you feel bad about it. God works in mysterious ways. Pray He gives you guidance on how to go about this situation. It might even be a good thing the husband is leaving. Stay blessed!