Nihil-ce-M:

Then I have a doubt: why do the adjectives "strong" and "independent" assume a negative connotation when they referred to women?

That means  a woman that will not spread her legs for her husband if she is not in the mood.
a woman that will not clean the hous after a hard days work while the jobless husband  has been sitting on his lazy  fat ass.
a woman that will not take beating from a man

I was free born and what i think has nothing to do with the way i was brought up.
I too was brought up in the goodold "so that you will find good husband".
And when i was grown i found out what that meant and refused to go for it.
I cannot be a a slave to a man.
some men do not know the difference between a wife and a prostitute

almond ,
you do have very good strong debates and intresting reading but sweetee calm down a little , you stand to loose the argument and mr londener is obviously doing a good job of winding you up

stay calm and give limited responses you can say so little in very few words

and remeber it is a debate and every one is intended to their own points however it may come across,

mamput,

at last the females are comming in strong with articulate and strong debates

can see the debate has now started/,

keep it comming

britgirlee:

almond ,
you do have very good strong debates and intresting reading but sweetee calm down a little , you stand to loose the argument and[b] mr londener [/b] is obviously doing a good job of winding you up
stay calm and give limited responses you can say so little in very few words

and remeber it is a debate and every one is intended to their own points however it may come across,

 


ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!   You mean Ms Londoner.  Actually I am not pissed at Ms Londoner--I am ticked at this Cyclone5 of a character talking of religion and some cultural bull crap.  Imagine, the ones not married, still living with their parents with no gainfull employment having the nerve to come here and tell others the way "it should be" by their own fantasy world?  Like "some" of us here are teenagers or in the tweeny  20's  without any sense of direction  Some have not even had a single successful relationship and are coming her to write nonsense.

Nothing to worry about---just a very passionate debater for something I feel strongly about.  Women have been to abused in the Nigerian society for too long--by men and I am here to slug it out with any male or female who surreptitiously thinks he or she can pull that leg. I am all for a good debate, but not when toddlers are involved. You need to shout them down.

So have no fear--No hard feelings.  All these teenage boys and pimply 20 something year olds need to be re-oriented so when they ever get married--they can understand the need to respect their wives---UNCONDITIONALLY--like they would demand,  and not use their sick excuses of religion, culture, "natural order" bullshit, submissiveness and "trust and obey" mess to type rubbish here.  Like we are in "their" fathers' farms here?  Having the nerve to come out here on a public forum to preach that "intimidation" red bull.  Nonsense I say.  Let me see any of them here again.

all this hullabaloo over nothing.
Women - if you like a man who believes in equality, doing dishes and all go for them and where there are none pls stick to sperm banks. No one is bothered.

Men - You like your woman as described in the bible, there are plenty of places to look for them. Chikena!

I presume people shld be able to debate without being "shouted down" and called names left right and center by those who love to be heard!

@ almondjoy, I like the way you express yourself but dont take it too far with cyclone. His opinion may be different and annoying but do not banter words with him. I see ur point and its very similar to mine.

I was arguing with someone this morning on the issue of women building houses on their family land in the village. The guy I was discussing with was trying to convince me that a woman cant build a house on her parents land esp. if she has brothers. When I asked him why and what the woman should do if she has a useless and irresponsible brother that cant build a house for their parents, he told me that the woman should give some money to the "irresponsible and useless" brother to build the house but at the same time supervise the construction of the house. To him, its a taboo that a woman dares to build a house on their family land in the village. He says that a woman can build a house wherever she wanted but not at her parents land in their village. I told him that I thought the main reason for building a house in the village would be to shelter his parents and not debating whether the house should be built by a man or a woman. I couldn't understand the difference btw a woman building a house in her village and somewhere else. I was so mad at his level of thinking that he had to calm me down cause I was "debating-screaming". Later on, he reasoned with me and accepted that his previous standpoint was weak. It was irritating. I just told u this example to calm u down cause at times u wonder at the level of some people's reasoning.

For those that always quote the Bible when discussing the issue of "obedience" in marriage do also read 1Peter 3:7.

@ Zandra, which village is your friend from? Of course a woman has as much rights to build a house anywhere. What if the woman is the first child? Does she give money to her younger brother to build a house?

You bring up a very good point with 1 pet 3:7. Of course many men love to bypass that verse and cling desperately unto "wives submit yourselves to your husbands . . ."

you go zandra, nobody will believe it is 2007, its amazing the responses and this thing in quoting the bible i mean misquoting the bible,

well guys the strong independent intelligent career successful women are comming through thick and fast, to result to the bible as a weapon or intellectual debate is very questionable

davidylan:


all this hullabaloo over nothing.
Women - if you like a man who believes in equality, doing dishes and all go for them and where there are none please stick to sperm banks. No one is bothered.

Thanks oo my brother.

The thing is, britgirlee would love to marry a Nigerian man, but she wants him to have 100% western values.
Nigerian men want to be the head of their households and would not settle for less.

If you value western values so much, THEN MARRY A WESTERN MAN !!

I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

Zandra1:

@ almondjoy, I like the way you express yourself but don't take it too far with cyclone. His opinion may be different and annoying but do not banter words with him. I see your point and its very similar to mine.

I was arguing with someone this morning on the issue of women building houses on their family land in the village. The guy I was discussing with was trying to convince me that a woman can't build a house on her parents land esp. if she has brothers. When I asked him why and what the woman should do if she has a useless and irresponsible brother that can't build a house for their parents, he told me that the woman should give some money to the "irresponsible and useless" brother to build the house but at the same time supervise the construction of the house. To him, its a taboo that a woman dares to build a house on their family land in the village. He says that a woman can build a house wherever she wanted but not at her parents land in their village. I told him that I thought the main reason for building a house in the village would be to shelter his parents and not debating whether the house should be built by a man or a woman. I couldn't understand the difference between a woman building a house in her village and somewhere else. I was so mad at his level of thinking that he had to calm me down cause I was "debating-screaming". Later on, he reasoned with me and accepted that his previous standpoint was weak. It was irritating. I just told u this example to calm u down cause at times u wonder at the level of some people's reasoning.

For those that always quote the Bible when discussing the issue of "obedience" in marriage do also read 1Peter 3:7.

You are so right.  Some of these Nigerian dudes can be very irritating I swear.   But like you said, no need for all that--especially since I cannot get my hands around any of their necks to actually finish the job.  The message has been sent and duly received.  Please enjoy!!!!

I will allow "britgirlee" to address her prospective suitors in peace.

Arnold1:

Thanks oo my brother.

The thing is, britgirlee would love to marry a Nigerian man, but she wants him to have 100% western values.
Nigerian men want to be the head of their households and would not settle for less.

If you value western values so much, THEN MARRY A WESTERN MAN !!

I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

my brother, me neither. there are more than 1billion women on earth, what is the point being intimidated by a woman who decieves herself into thinking she is "strong and independent" when there are others who dont wear their success on their sleeves to choose from?

There are thousands of western men who have no problems baby sitting while their wives busy themselves being strong and independent. Unfortunately it is not in our culture neither is it my idea of the christian male. Women would do themselves a world of good by sticking to the western men and leaving us alone.
All these moaning over nothing and using the opportunity to knock us is taking no one no where.

To bring home the point I made earlier about britgirlee,

There is another thread she created and it is titled

The Nigerian Man as the 'house Husband' Whilst Your Wife Works.

I rest my case 

lol i know of a postdoc here whose husband stays home to care for their 2 little kids while she does works and develops her career.
I see no big deal in all these, it just depends on the individuals involved and how they choose to work things out.

see i think we've muddled this whole thing up, if i get things right the kind of women britgirlee is talking about dont go advertising that they're independent!, i had an uncle in the UK that was jobless for like 2yrs and the wife was more or less supporting the family(she's the stronger of the two)and it didnt cause any friction, we all know she's in charge of running the house but that in no way means she does not respect him!(point in case;once she gave me baileys to drink and she was like dont let ur uncle see it o, of which even if he saw and didnt approve she cld go 'he's not a child(i was 18 then!))i believe thats my definition of a strong independent black woman, she handles her business without noise! thats where wisdom comes in, any sharp woman shld be able to handle her man without shouting or making a fuss out of it(also without making him look sill!)


p.s. can we use the analogy of the crown and the prime minister in this case?

netotse:

see i think we've muddled this whole thing up, if i get things right the kind of women britgirlee is talking about don't go advertising that they're independent!, i had an uncle in the UK that was jobless for like 2yrs and the wife was more or less supporting the family(she's the stronger of the two)and it didnt cause any friction, we all know she's in charge of running the house but that in no way means she does not respect him!(point in case;once she gave me baileys to drink and she was like don't let your uncle see it o, of which even if he saw and didnt approve she cld go 'he's not a child(i was 18 then!))i believe thats my definition of a strong independent black woman, she handles her business without noise! thats where wisdom comes in, any sharp woman shld be able to handle her man without shouting or making a fuss out of it(also without making him look sill!)


p.s. can we use the analogy of the crown and the prime minister in this case?

@ netotse, we are basically saying the same thing in different ways. My mom was at some point the sole breadwinner for the family for a couple of yrs when my dad had some work related problems. If you didnt live in our house you would never have noticed!
My mom is strong, independent and successful at what she does YET she respects her husband and does not sit down bawling about being equal simply because she makes more money than him.

davidylyn and arnold1,

firstly how dare you start to insult me on the forum i truly believe naira land is a place that does not tolerate such ignorant and obviously antagonising behavior

yes Ive posted more the 4 debatetable subjects on this site and i stress debatable
it begs belief that your intelligence cannot deceiver the topics but choose to insult and try and insult persons or a person on the site.

Davidlyn you show ignorance and somewhat racist attributes which is not tolerated in any forum let alone here
You show no respect to your self thats why you have no respect for others.

Black white orange purple people are who they are and its the small minded natured people that make this world the way it is.

i ask kindly if you both do not have any logical debates or any other intellectual comments to make it would be appreciated if you post on other forumsand leave this one alone for people with valid and intresting arguments
and stop misconstruing mine

britgirlee:

davidylyn and arnold1,

firstly how dare you start to insult me on the forum i truly believe naira land is a place that does not tolerate such ignorant and obviously antagonising behavior

Where are the "insults"? Take a chill pill, if you can't stand the heat then leave the kitchen, its that simple.

britgirlee:

yes Ive posted more the 4 debatetable subjects on this site and i stress debatable
it begs belief that your intelligence cannot deceiver the topics but choose to insult and try and insult persons or a person on the site.

Again do me a big favour and show me JUST ONE post where i insulted you. you are being ridiculous, i guess your idea of "insulting your person" is that we disagree with your unrealistic point of view.
By the way, for all your famed "intelligence" the word is spelled "decipher" and not "deciever".
your thread is not rocket science, we have seen so many variants of this same issue for the last 1 yr on this forum. All saying the same thing . . . nothing new.

britgirlee:

Davidlyn you show ignorance and somewhat racist attributes which is not tolerated in any forum let alone here
You show no respect to your self thats why you have no respect for others.

Again more babbling. WHERE did i insult you and show ignorance? Where have i shown "racist attributes"? Have i insulted you over your skin color or told you white girls are better than black girls?

your outburst is uncalled for and frankly much worse than whatever you are screaming about. If you are an example of the "strong, independent black" woman who picks up a quarrel with themselves in a locked room then i'm glad i have nothing to do with people like you.

If you can't take opposing views then i suggest you reserve your threads for your personal blog where you can reject views you don't like.

Its unfortunate that you're not really interested in a "debate" no matter how loudly you proclaim so. You seem to shout down every comment that disagrees with your sky pixie dreams.

good luck finding men who put up with such abrassive attitudes.

The idea of the strong independent black woman" is actually a misnomer. It is simply a cover up for loud, abrasive, headstrong and abusive woman.

@ DAVIDYLAN

where did you get this from ejo?

davidylan#

typo error the comment was directed at arnorld 1 an apology to yr self

however to start to get personal is uncalled for, to refresh your memory

Posted by: davidylan
Insert Quote
Quote from: Arnold1 on Today at 08:20:32 PM
Thanks oo my brother.

The thing is, britgirlee would love to marry a Nigerian man, but she wants him to have 100% western values.
Nigerian men want to be the head of their households and would not settle for less.

If you value western values so much, THEN MARRY A WESTERN MAN !!

I really don't know what all the fuss is about.


my brother, me neither. there are more than 1billion women on earth, what is the point being intimidated by a woman who decieves herself into thinking she is "strong and independent" when there

an arrogant and ignorrant response which will cause ill feeling

i did not ask you to start to leave yr views you chose too

britgirlee:

davidylyn and arnold1,

firstly how dare you start to insult me on the forum i truly believe naira land is a place that does not tolerate such ignorant and obviously antagonising behavior

britgirlee:

davidylan#

typo error the comment was directed at arnorld 1 an apology to yr self

@britgirlee

Stop making noise.

I have not made any comment that insults you as a person. All I did was point out some traits that I have observed
about you.

When people make remarks that are aligned with your thinking, you quickly applaud them as you did with mamaput. However,
you raise hell when someone makes an opposing view.

This is an open forum where people freely state their views, whether you chose to accept them or not is totally up to you.

Grow up and quit whining like a baby 

spoilt:

@ DAVIDYLAN

where did you get this from ejo?

Na lie abi na true?

@ Britgirlee, you take comments way too personal. None of the comments was directed to you AS A PERSON but to just about anyone who happens to be reading this thread. Arnold1 probably included your name there BECAUSE you are the thread author and not to insult your person.

Get used to it, a forum is not a place for those who cant stand opposing view points. A personal blog would suit you better.
You keep harping on "to start to get personal is uncalled for" and YET on not one BUT TWO occassions you have labelled me arrogant and ignorant. None of my posts has come that close to an insult yet.
Get over it miss!

time to move on, accept the apology or leave it,

leave the personal views and comments about individuals to one side and move on, its done

britgirlee:

davidylyn and arnold1,

firstly how dare you start to insult me on the forum i truly believe naira land is a place that does not tolerate such ignorant and obviously antagonising behavior

yes Ive posted more the 4 debatetable subjects on this site and i stress debatable
it begs belief that your intelligence cannot deceiver the topics but choose to insult and try and insult persons or a person on the site.
Davidlyn you show ignorance and somewhat racist attributes which is not tolerated in any forum let alone here
You show no respect to your self thats why you have no respect for others.

Black white orange purple people are who they are and its the small minded natured people that make this world the way it is.

i ask kindly if you both do not have any logical debates or any other intellectual comments to make it would be appreciated if you post on other forumsand leave this one alone for people with valid and intresting arguments
and stop misconstruing mine

he he he he he he he he he he he !!!  Laff wan kill me oooooooooooooooh!  Ah-ah? I thought you said we should put on our most charming debater cloak without  errrrrrrrrr----------raucus?

I say these guys will run circles around you and give you major dizzy spells.  Abeg take it easy oh!  It is not easy to maintain "cucumber cool" in certain heated moments.  But it is okay.  I thought they were your suitors? In all fairness to davidylan and Arnold1--they did not insult you.

Sorry--I don't mean to be sarcastic in light of how you are feeling.  Just keep on doing the good moderating job and bring peace back to this topic.  One love!

spoilt:



@ DAVIDYLAN

where did you get this from ejo?

In fact it like you were reading my mind.  I was just too tired to go digging and posting to remind davidylan of his previous posts here.  See how his tone is changing?  If he had made such rational statements in the previous posts, unlike the one you just dug up we will still be smiling at page #1 of this thread. Imagine this--

quoting davidylan oh

A "misnomer"!----------"cover up for loud abrasive headstrong woman" = idea of a strong, independent, black woman"!!!!

Unquote:

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! _{Sighing and exhaling lengthily.}

As for the one called Arnold1--no comment.  I leave "britgirlee" to continue her moderating duties.

Dont blame me, all the "strong, independent, black women" i see here are baby mamas with loud voices!

where you see am? for ghetto?

davidylan:



Dont blame me, all the "strong, independent, black women" i see here are baby mamas with loud voices!

davidylan:



Dont blame me, all the "strong, independent, black women" i see here are baby mamas with loud voices!

britgirlee--please do not mind them jo! They just want to get us unnecessarily upset with some views that can never stand any test of time.  I refuse to fall for davidylan's trap.

I may not know others here but davidylan has been around for a while and it becomes a "tricky" situation if you hang around him too long. You are better off with Arnold1 because if davidylan "enters your blood"--you can never get rid of "it". So be warned. 

So darling davidylan--with all due respects---carry go and let "us" baby mamas have peace with our western "husbands"!!!!

You guys should go and find your "submissive village wives"!

apparently the ones you've been seeing are hood rats not strong independent black women. Dont get it twisted!  

who will later be headstrong and part away with your money  . call police for you when you refuse to do the dishes or change baby diaper

almondjoy:

britgirlee--please do not mind them jo! They just want to get us unnecessarily upset with some views that can never stand any test of time.  I refuse to fall for davidylan's trap.  So darling davidylan--with all due respects---carry go and let "us" baby mamas have peace with our western "husbands"!!!!

You guys should go and find your "submissive village wives"!

almondjoy:

So darling davidylan--with all due respects---carry go and let "us" baby mamas have peace with our western "husbands"!!!!

You guys should go and find your "submissive village wives"!

Yes ma'am.  We didnt start the thread complaining we couldnt find wives.

omoge:

where you see am? for ghetto?

Just hit Gennesse park area. Dem dey dia flenty flenty. the problem is they are too fine. 

spoilt:

apparently the ones you've been seeing are hood rats not strong independent black women. Dont get it twisted! 

don't decieve yourself. there are hood rats and there are "strong independent" black women. Trust me, i know the difference. the "independent" ones are generally loud.

omoge:

who will later be headstrong and part away with your money . call police for you when you refuse to do the dishes or change baby diaper

he he he he he he!

Is it not Nairaland? They will all come back and cry in "Family Section" begging us to rescue them from one "spiritual problem or the other" caused by "village wives".