holamiday: Some people are just there to always counter and frustrate and make others feel worse. Mrbrown jay them send you come meet me? You say i have failed because i am no longer with one girl that i wasn't joined with on the altar. If i come divorce my wife nko, that means you'll get a machete and look for me. I have not failed o, i just lost d girl i like because i cannot change myself. and 4get about this issue.

if you had just "left" the gal then that would have been the easy way out. you failed because YOU are the problem here yet you are trying to blame everyone else for your misery BUT YOURSELF. you have absolutely NOTHING to offer in a r/ship, yet you are surprised and whining because no one wants to be with you?! lol!

yeah we best forget about this issue.

This post has been hidden

Yes n No!
What do say 2 a relationship nt less than 5yrs (known dem in ND days b4 he went 2 unilag 4 a 4yrs course, did nysc and started work). She was already part of d family cos she lived wit him in his fathers house due to work's distance 2 home. Saw them in may, she got married to someone else in October.

No buh good in some situation

so you want us to continue this discussion?! ok................

holamiday: mr brown jay 1. What do u mean if i had just left d girl alone?

do you actually believe that what you brought to that "r/ship" is of ANY VALUE?! what does "BEING IN A R/SHIP" actually means to you?!
even common FRIENDS do more than what you did as a BF!

2. I am nt blaming anybody. I am jst trying 2 hear what others hav to say abt dis story.

dont you blame her for leaving you? are my views not "what others have to say about this story"?

I'm nt blaming anybody, nt even myself.

if you feel/act/think this way then you will never advance in life. you MUST learn from your experiences in life.
ask yourself these simple questions:
- what do women want from men?
- what does it mean to be in a r/ship?
- can i call someone my gf, act as if i was single, and STILL believe that i am in a r/ship?
- what can i do to KEEP someone interested in my person?

Btw me, john & d gal, nobody has don anytin wrong and i kno it.

let me rephrase that: YOU did NOTHING, while John did everything RIGHT.
can you understand where the problem is?!

3.i bet dere are many gals who wuld b very hapi wit me. U dnt even kno me. I tink u r jst getn vexed unnecessarily.

bro, i am only judging your person from what you told us all, if i have a wrong picture of you then blame YOUR description of yourself.

This post has been hidden

holamiday: MR BROWN JAY, i think you are taking this issue more seriously than it really is. How would you tell me i won't move forward in life as regards facts from this issue. This unimportant issue. You earlier talked about misery. Do i sound like somebody in any form of misery? I'm starting to wonder if sth of dis nature has happened to u b4 or prehaps smne u knw. 4rm every indication, this tin is vexing u specially in an unnatural way & i dnt understand y.I think you are even more serious and concerned than i really am, the owner of the topic. Really i'm very relaxed about this whole thing but ur posts are too strong and you talk as though i did something so strange and grievous.

sadly this is me, i dont sugarcoat stuff to make you feel better about yourself, i give it to you RAW, just like i see it.
and you are right, this stuff happened to me before, back then when I WAS THIRTEEN YEARS OLD, and knew absolutely nothing about women!
i know that many people like yourself dont like to hear what they dont particularly like being thrown at them but, if thats the case then stop putting silly points and cheap excuses across, and lets close this discussion.

You talk as if i oppressed the girl with money. I neva oppressed the girl at all. All she wanted was worldliness i could not provide.

so going to see her when she is sick is worldliness? caring for someone is worldliness? spending time with someone is worldliness? going out clubbing with someone is worldliness? bro, you couldnt provide ANYTHING for this sad gal.
the question you should actually ask yourself is: WHAT DID YOU PROVIDE?

It seems like you are a relationship counsellor who is too confident about the trade, u say things that are not, confidently as though they were.

i am just a NLer, trying to help a confused brotha/NLer.

ok, let me put it this way, perhaps you would understand; what if i said this girl wanted me to live my life contrary to how my spiritual nature directs me. I'm a good christian, who's still striving hard to grow stronger in God & don't you think doing 70% of the tins she wanted would mean disobedience to God?

trying to use God to get out of this one is cheap, VERY CHEAP!!!!
here is a clue bro, if she wanted you to do anything that was against the bible's teaching, then she is not fit to even be with, AND THEREFORE there is no point opening a thread about this Jezebel, duh!
its funny because i never saw any passage in the bible that said you SHOULDNT care for others....... you must have a "special" bible. keep fooling yourself!

Have i also failed for deciding to obey God?I need to hear wat u hv to say concerning that.

someone was sick and you couldnt even go and care for that person, and you are here claiming to be from God's army? you have no idea of what you are talking about. so here is ONE clue: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR!!!!!

And talking abt the remaining 30% as regards not being like a companion, not going to her house etc She has too many people in her ous & My nature directly wont allow me do dat cos i have a problem feeling too shy in the midst of people & she very well understood that.I don't often go out, not even with my own family.(Now the nature of dat problem is all 4 me to worry abt). My parents know me to be like that.

fair enough.....and this is why she left you. why is it so hard for you to understand? this is the way she is, thats her, take it or leave it! there is NOTHING wrong with being shy, but you have to understand that this "disease" will stop you from doing what most do naturally, or what most expect from you. work on your issues and then, go out there and look for a mate.....no the way around.

I think this girl wanted me to treat her as tho we were married and i cannot.

this girl simply wanted you to show her care/love/understanding/passion/friendship,...which you couldnt. the stuff that you couldnt do is something that is normal in a r/ship, the fact that you see that as marriage stuff show the depth of your issues.

This issue has nothing to do with my moving forward in life or anything concerning my future. Unless u want to insult me personally mrbrown jay.

pls dont be offended by my words, these are not insults and i am a nobody to you......but at the same time these are the views of one person. since you claim to be a Christian then pick up that bible and READ IT. the good book is all about LOVE/UNDERSTANDING/CARE etc......which you cannot show to your fellow man/woman, yet claims to serve it.
you know there is something wrong with you, you know you treated her bad, you know you are boring, so why do you get mad when i tell you that she was right to leave? i am not going to stroke you ego, i am only going to tell you what i see in this picture.

as i said earlier, the only way for you to move forward is to understand that you have a problem, FIX this problem and then be a better man. if you think that you will find someone that care and love you while you treat them "very badly", then good luck, and forget everything i wrote.

Ok I agree I culd not please the girl in some way and to people like you I’m less of a guy, I have 'failed'. Fine! But it has nothing to do with my progress in life and 2 me I have not failed in any way. I suppose you know i'm nt helpless here, cos i asked for points of view and not advice & as much i want opinion, i know which shouldn't be at all entertained.

bro, again, pick up that bible and see what it says about MEN...... we are nothing without a good woman. a man without a mate is less than a man (yes i said it!). we all need women, we cant go through life without them, and the ones who do will surely die early of stress or what not. remember this has nothing to do with marriage, but simply that the companionship, the union, the friendship, the care, the support, the drive that women bring to the table, will have any man be a better person. so unless you change, you will remain ALONE, and therefore you will never advance in life. we all want to be fathers, and the only way to do that is to be with a woman.....if you are alone, you will never be able to do that. what crazy woman would want to have a child by a man who treat her "very badly"?!

so pls learn from this unfortunate experience and BECOME A BETTER PERSON!

MR BROWN JAY, I was going to laugh things over & ask 4 ur friendship cos u hv this charm and unusual grace in ur use & structure of words that i wanted u, on the way to your NL profile to obtain ur email(i wanted to give you my number and beg u to call me), the picture & statements i found there only made known one fact; "SURELY AND DEFINITELY, no matter how you try to wrap it in sweet words and convincing grammer, your problems are GREATER than my own 'so-called' problems". No offence, really. No wonder you don't see clubbing as a sin. God help us all.

^^^bro stop trying to shift the issue here............if "clubbing" is a sin to you, then why do you want to settle with a lady who love indulging in such sin? pls try to make "some" sense in your replies.

KateSpade: I like double dates. If you are secure in your relationship they can be great. Also it gives another couple a chance to view how you interact with your significant other and vice versa. I don't go on them often because the bf doesn't really like them but I think I'm going to set one up with me and him and his brother and his brothers gf in a few months. And if the date is boring you at least have your bf there to suffer with you.

Sorry girl not this type of double date.

The only disadvantage is you can't really pin who gave you the clap.
Am in this situation now as I write here. Amaka gave me shiit and i think i passed it onto Kemi but then again Uche is an equal slut, so am really a bit confused between amaka and uche but u never know kemi must have burned me out.

lol

Don't try it, don't even make an attempt, people may get away with but the one that are caught red handed suffer it alot and most time you may end up loosing the man that is suppose take you home. Same thing for the guys, I know we guys are natural players BUT nemesis do catch up with us, and if you don't believe it, you can continue to spike and strike. Don't say you're test running to see how others can satisfy you feelings while you're still in one relationship, it is better to end one and begin another one to avoid unnecessary headache.

190:
In Nigeria it is very advisable

Really? But it's gonna cause a divided mind...don't you think so?

LailaIkeji1:
double dating frankly becums necessary at sm point . if a guy wants me for hmself n hmself alone, u 'v gat to do smtng extra swty. like put a ring on it.

You're so right in that sense.

jambya:
Double dating is a complete risk; it could get someone killed. When it involves jealous partners.

Of cause it could.

Is it a good thing to hurt and lie to people? ermm....apparently even 5 year olds can give better relationship advise than some grown-azz adults in the forum.

Hmmm...
What an elder can see while sitting even a child cannot see it while standing.