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Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by queensmith: 9:37pm On Apr 03, 2012
^^ So basically if a woman had no money you wouldnt marry her? but you have words for women that also have those preferences no? Double standards much?
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by moHot(f): 9:51pm On Apr 03, 2012
DARE2THINK REALLY THINKS WELL.....BIG UPS
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by moHot(f): 9:54pm On Apr 03, 2012
queensmith: ^^ So basically if a woman had no money you wouldnt marry her? but you have words for women that also have those preferences no? Double standards much?

ITS BETTER YOU DON'T GO THERE SIS.......I STILL REMEMBER THE NIGERIAN MAN/WIFE DIVORCE THREAD
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by queensmith: 10:02pm On Apr 03, 2012
^^ lol- i just cannot stand it when they come with thier double standard bs! mshew. yet if i come and say i cannot marry a poor man they will call me all sorts of names!
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 10:09pm On Apr 03, 2012
queensmith: ^^ So basically if a woman had no money you wouldnt marry her? but you have words for women that also have those preferences no? Double standards much?

Again you're getting me wrong. I have no problem with women who want to marry a man with ambition who has worked hard to amass some resources that suggest he is up to the task of bearing the responsibility of raising a family AND who themselves are coming to the table with something tangible to complement the man. I have a serious problem with women looking for well-made men but who themselves offer ZERO to the marriage.
Marrying a woman with money (seriously i would change this to a woman who is motivated enough to have a career of her own... if it brings in plenty of money then thank God) is simply one way of ensuring 2 healthy streams of income to keep the family strong and well provided for.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by queensmith: 10:24pm On Apr 03, 2012
excessive story for a simple question, your answer is you will not marry a poor woman, you will take a woman with money over a woman with no money and from now on if i see you bashing females anywhere I will remind you.

and just to add, if you had enough money to raise a family you wouldnt be looking for a female with money, the only reason you need an additional income is because you cannot afford to raise a family yourself. Looking for a partner to save you from this shorcoming is equivalent to gold digging? Is it not? It doesnt really matter if you are working or not, by the measure the males on this site normally use to justify thier sexist arguments you are seeking and choosing a partner based on the financial benefits.
think abou that the next time u wanna wag your wily!

1 Like

Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 11:28pm On Apr 03, 2012
queensmith: excessive story for a simple question, your answer is you will not marry a poor woman, you will take a woman with money over a woman with no money and from now on if i see you bashing females anywhere I will remind you.

and just to add, if you had enough money to raise a family you wouldnt be looking for a female with money, the only reason you need an additional income is because you cannot afford to raise a family yourself. Looking for a partner to save you from this shorcoming is equivalent to gold digging? Is it not? It doesnt really matter if you are working or not, by the measure the males on this site normally use to justify thier sexist arguments you are seeking and choosing a partner based on the financial benefits.
think abou that the next time u wanna wag your wily!

nice one!
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by damola1: 11:51pm On Apr 03, 2012
I like naijasexy.. knowing what you want exactly... helps a great deal.... I pray God grant you your heart desires.

As for, poor background stuff.... man still dey hustle, it's hard enough to make it in Nigeria... with every damn thing pointing against you. Carrying extra load, is an option, and shine ya eyes wella... you gat to realise say it is all man for himself!..

1 Like

Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Olalekan0(m): 12:14am On Apr 04, 2012
I THINK WE SHOULD ASK THE OP THIS COGENT CUM FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION;IS SHE ACTUALLY RICH OR HER PARENTS ARE? THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.I KNOW A LOT OF FOLKS WHO AS I TYPE,DO NOT HAVE 50K IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNTS EVEN THOUGH THEIR PARENTS ARE ARISTOCRATS.I KNOW WE ALL EVENTUALLY GET TO INHERIT OUR PARENTS MONEY BUT I'M ALSO BORN TO WEALTHY PARENTS AND WHEN I CALCULATE HOW MUCH I STAND TO OWN AFTER MY PARENTS ASSETs(CASH INCLUSIVE) ARE EVENLY SHARED OUT AMONG MYSELF AND MY FOUR SIBLINGS,I WOULD GET LESS THAN 150m naira and i've not even taken into account what my dad might decide to bequethe to religious institutions,adopted relatives and /or his beloved mother should she still be alive at the time(God forbids though).

To this end,i do not see myself as a rich dude as i might still end up being poor unless i continually work hard

I think the OP should think again!.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 12:19am On Apr 04, 2012
queensmith: excessive story for a simple question, your answer is you will not marry a poor woman, you will take a woman with money over a woman with no money and from now on if i see you bashing females anywhere I will remind you.

and just to add, if you had enough money to raise a family you wouldnt be looking for a female with money, the only reason you need an additional income is because you cannot afford to raise a family yourself. Looking for a partner to save you from this shorcoming is equivalent to gold digging? Is it not? It doesnt really matter if you are working or not, by the measure the males on this site normally use to justify thier sexist arguments you are seeking and choosing a partner based on the financial benefits.
think abou that the next time u wanna wag your wily!

Quite a daft response to be honest. Most likely all i said flew over your head... and for someone complaining abour "excessive story", you should look yourself in the mirror.

Back to responding to the drivel- i suppose i make enough to be able to take care of my own family no? Sorry i would rather marry a fellow high earner than marry one who has to wait for my paycheck before she can buy her face cream and looks up to me to pay school fees for her younger brother. I wonder how that could be termed "gold digging", i'm perfectly comfortable by my self... raising kids, putting them through private schools in the US (sometimes as high as $30,000 per yr) requires a joint effort. If you dont understand that then too bad.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by queensmith: 12:40am On Apr 04, 2012
well you are in the same position as any woman who doesnt expect to solely look after the family and will choose a partner that can! good luck with finding the woman that will pay the private tuition and rush home to cook for you at the same time! lmao
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by dare2think: 12:59am On Apr 04, 2012
naijasexy:

As for that one making a silly joke that he hopes I find my "sultan of whatever".. Well, how do you know I have not found him already?
You guys have to emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. Look on the positives and shy away from the negatives. You can find someone who would love you for you, and who would still meet your financial needs.

Madame, take it easy, can;t you take a joke again! haba!

Anyways, you mention emancipation from slavery which, to me is in sharp contrast to what you seem to stand for.

Inability to look at the contents of a character and judge based on the material worth of a person is mental slavery to me!

To choose not to be with someone based on the perceived 'poor' background of a person is not only unfair but discriminatory.

Again, you cant just look on the positives and shy away from negatives in a relationship madame, you deal with both the positives and negatives.

Where the partner is weak, you carry them. And aspects where you are weak you should get picked up!

Your last statement is ideal, but like I mentioned earlier -life is not as clear-cut like that- 'you don't get to eat your cake and have it'

Look at it this way!

You may find someone who would love you for you,and who would still meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and who would still meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

The odds are 4 to 1. Meaning you may have to try 3 previous relationship before you hit the right one or may hit the right one straight away if you are lucky. Nothing is that straight-forward.


Naijasexy, you sound like a really nice person, And I see you are only being honest about your position,and I admire you for that.

No hard feelings, we are all learning.

1 Like

Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 1:45am On Apr 04, 2012
dare2think:

Look at it this way!

1)You may find someone who would love you for you,and who would still meet your financial needs.

2) You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and who would still meet your financial needs.

3) You may find someone who would love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

4) You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.


Hence, the reason I said it would be a prayer answered. If it was guaranteed that I would get 1), would there be a need to pray? No!
Like Davidylan said, there would always be someone that would match your status.

I have told you this before: Character and other factors would certainly be factored in so, I would not make the decision of marriage based on affluence alone. I don't think having certain preferences as to who one would want to spend the rest of one's life with, is discriminatory.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by queensmith: 1:52am On Apr 04, 2012
^^ of course not and i agree- the only problem is when a female makes the same statement she is quickly named a gold digger! I am yet to understand why this is.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 2:00am On Apr 04, 2012
^^ My sister, it baffles me o.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 2:48am On Apr 04, 2012
queensmith: ^^ of course not and i agree- the only problem is when a female makes the same statement she is quickly named a gold digger! I am yet to understand why this is.

She is only termed a "gold digger" when it is apparent she brings nothing to the table herself and is only looking for a money bag to carry all her responsibilities. A woman who can hold her own is simply marrying someone equal to her.

1 Like

Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 2:50am On Apr 04, 2012
dare2think:

Madame, take it easy, can;t you take a joke again! haba!

Anyways, you mention emancipation from slavery which, to me is in sharp contrast to what you seem to stand for.

Inability to look at the contents of a character and judge based on the material worth of a person is mental slavery to me!

To choose not to be with someone based on the perceived 'poor' background of a person is not only unfair but discriminatory.

Again, you cant just look on the positives and shy away from negatives in a relationship madame, you deal with both the positives and negatives.

Where the partner is weak, you carry them. And aspects where you are weak you should get picked up!

Your last statement is ideal, but like I mentioned earlier -life is not as clear-cut like that- 'you don't get to eat your cake and have it'

Look at it this way!

You may find someone who would love you for you,and who would still meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and who would still meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

The odds are 4 to 1. Meaning you may have to try 3 previous relationship before you hit the right one or may hit the right one straight away if you are lucky. Nothing is that straight-forward.


Naijasexy, you sound like a really nice person, And I see you are only being honest about your position,and I admire you for that.

No hard feelings, we are all learning.






Bro all this na story. I tried the "love conquers all" stuff before and it backfired big time. When you are getting married, pls find a woman who is on the same wavelength as you. It is EMOTIONALLY DRAINING to be with someone who is 100% dependent on you for everything down to toothpicks.

2 Likes

Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by queensmith: 3:14am On Apr 04, 2012
davidylan:

She is only termed a "gold digger" when it is apparent she brings nothing to the table herself and is only looking for a money bag to carry all her responsibilities. A woman who can hold her own is simply marrying someone equal to her.

erm not on this website, a woman is labelled a gold digger even when she has a job! in fact the last debate we had about it concerned a woman who was the ceo of a company!
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by StellaBella(f): 3:52am On Apr 04, 2012
If you are rich stay away from the pooor. Let the poor marry their poooooooor. A pig will be a pig any day any time. Talking from experience. Forward ever, backward never. smiley
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by greall1: 4:58am On Apr 04, 2012
I can do if the girl also hard working than to marry igbo girl because they only marry because of your pocket. Sorry to say igbo pple in the house lolz
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 5:27am On Apr 04, 2012
Interesting post. I think it is important to choose wisely.

naijasexy does not sound like a nice person.[color=#000099][/color]
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Lagusta(m): 8:09am On Apr 04, 2012
sexlog:
A girl that rejected GEJ's proposal years back is regretting now!

true yarns.... Luv dat grin
sexlog:
A girl that rejected GEJ's proposal years back is regretting now!

true yarns.... Luv dat
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by dare2think: 8:53am On Apr 04, 2012
davidylan:

Bro all this na story. I tried the "love conquers all" stuff before and it backfired big time. When you are getting married, pls find a woman who is on the same wavelength as you. It is EMOTIONALLY DRAINING to be with someone who is 100% dependent on you for everything down to toothpicks.

Mr David,

That you tried it before and backfired do not mean the same will happen to others. I agree with having same wavelenght, i.e ideologies, ambition and goals.


I dis-agree that financial background should be the 'only' factor to consider when choosing a partner.

For example,

A lot of celebrities go with partners with similar 'financial' wave-length and still don't last, whilst those that opt for the 'lower' ladder often break down too, but less often. And the same goes vice-versa.

My point is, the character of a person is way more important than the person's position on a wealth ladder. However, we all have preferences and values we want in a partner,and if finances ranks high to some, I greatly respect that.

@naijasexy

I think we can agree to dis-agree. Nice one
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by Nobody: 10:49am On Apr 04, 2012
divine2043: Interesting post. I think it is important to choose wisely.

naijasexy does not sound like a nice person.[color=#000099][/color]


I am one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Just saying.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by kufreabasi(m): 11:20am On Apr 04, 2012
Muttex: That is no anybody's problem. So far, he loves the babe, i dont think there is anything wrong to marry from the poor background.

You are quiet right guy. I did same without attaching any burden to anybody.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by lungtruth(m): 11:53am On Apr 04, 2012
love ignores all material wealth, as for me i will follow my heart.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by coogar: 12:04pm On Apr 04, 2012
naijasexy:
I am one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Just saying.

we are on the same boat. i cannot marry any woman from an extremely poor home!
the marriage would suffer all kinds of challenges i am not even ready for.
a marriage where the man is the sole provider is not marriage. if i kick the bucket,
what happens to my children and the poor wife?
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by BUSHMAN1: 12:14pm On Apr 04, 2012
dare2think:

Madame, take it easy, can;t you take a joke again! haba!

Anyways, you mention emancipation from slavery which, to me is in sharp contrast to what you seem to stand for.

Inability to look at the contents of a character and judge based on the material worth of a person is mental slavery to me!

To choose not to be with someone based on the perceived 'poor' background of a person is not only unfair but discriminatory.

Again, you cant just look on the positives and shy away from negatives in a relationship madame, you deal with both the positives and negatives.

Where the partner is weak, you carry them. And aspects where you are weak you should get picked up!

Your last statement is ideal, but like I mentioned earlier -life is not as clear-cut like that- 'you don't get to eat your cake and have it'

Look at it this way!

You may find someone who would love you for you,and who would still meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and who would still meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

You may find someone who would not love you for who you are, and would not meet your financial needs.

The odds are 4 to 1. Meaning you may have to try 3 previous relationship before you hit the right one or may hit the right one straight away if you are lucky. Nothing is that straight-forward.


Naijasexy, you sound like a really nice person, And I see you are only being honest about your position,and I admire you for that.

No hard feelings, we are all learning.





wise words i agree 200%
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by opribo(m): 12:30pm On Apr 04, 2012
Before NLanders will start attacking me let me make myself clear, I have nothing against the poor...my own is that everybody has a choice to make in life at one time or the other. Just as they say love is blind but I believe love has its eyes wide open that is why nobody sees a beautiful mula babe and go ahead and marry her neither do you see a beautiful mad girl and go ahead and marry her.

In the same way our elders have a saying that 'the person who's father is not rich it is not his fault BUT the person who's father inlaw is not rich is his own making' because why... he opened his eyes wide open to go ahead and go into everlasting penury. Our good Lord has given us the sound mind and body to discern where there is trouble and stay clear of such areas. Why on earth will a struggling man no look for a lady who has equally tried on her part to come out of poverty line rather he is not sitting down properly yet he wants to stretch his legs.

Let us take for example a young man from a poor family who has managed to finish school and working. Now this young man is at the borderline because he barely can make ends meet he just can survive with all his dependants and hangers on and extended family members and personal responsibilities. Now if this man goes on to marry from an extremely poor family he is compounding his problems because they will transfer all their problems on him until they kill such a person with their loads of demand and problem.
The advise to the poster therefore is to flee from poor extremley families, it is a disease and highly contangious one for that matter. Mind you poverty comes in various shades and color it can come in form of lack of education or millions of dependants.
Be strategic, look for a material spouse and lady/man of substance who has something to offer to better your position, someone that will partner with you and take your life from where it is to another level. Many men/women today have died prematurely because of marrying from a wretched, ramshackle home that has nothing to offer other than quarrels, demand upon demand and most of all they will introduce all kinds of churches, spiritualism, and charms into the persons life. The ultimate goal is to wreck the person finally and then carry on with their misearable lives.
KEEP OFF FROM POVERTY STRICKEN FAMILIES THEY HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER.

1 Like

Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by doctorbabs(m): 5:20pm On Apr 04, 2012
ALLAH SAID DO YOUR BEST AND I WILL DO D REST. NOBODY BORN AS A MILLIONARE. " OWOKONIRAN" OSI NA KONIRAN!. I HAVE SEEN A GUY OF MILLIONAIRE GOT MARRIED TO A WOMAN OF MILLIONAIRE AND THEIR MARRIAGE COULDNT LAST FOR SIX MONTHS, THATS TO TELL U MONEY DIDNT BRING LOVE OR JOY SOMETIME. MY GUY BELIEVE IN GOD, EVRYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR U WELL.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by MyneWhite1(f): 10:38pm On Apr 04, 2012
Does it really matter? I don't think so.
Re: Marrying From An Extremely Poor Home. Can You Consider It? by ferhyntorlah(f): 10:40pm On Apr 04, 2012
~Bluetooth:

You've not reallytold me why you wouldnt want to marry from a poor family besides maybe this family pride you are trying to explain? Mind you the person you called 'ok guy ' with prospective sounds like another pauper to me!

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