NNEKA2015: Have been married for 6 years to a pilot with Arik Air and we have have three kids my marriage isn't working anymore , there is no love or trust in the marriage again, my husband gets angry at the slightest thing i do and then goes out drinking and and doesn't come back to sleep in the house until i have gone to work. He only says he loves me when he wants to sleep with me , he complains about everything from my , shoes ,dress to my hair , my food and now that i am not improving in making love. he showers me with gift once in a while but claims i don't make him happy, i have tried and tried but he is never pleased, I don't want my kids to grow without their father because they are just getting to know him but at the same time i can't take it anymore and neither can he as well. please married or divorced women advice me on what to do i can't concentrate at work , i know he loves me and i feel something for him but i can't continue like this. please i need sincere advice on what to do.[color=#990000][/color]
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ronkebp: My dear, i don't think your hubby does not love you i think he has a picture of what he wants his wife to be or look like, sometimes it is realistic while majority of the times, it is very unrealistic.

we all as human beings have expectations of others, and that is why we stress so much on those things that do not really matter and focus on vain things.
I will want you to do away with the thoughts of leaving your hubby, this problem can be really handled. He complains about the way you look, what do you wear that is so offensive to him?, how do you look that he does not like?, how comfortable are you with your own looks?, your hair what do you do to them? you might think you are trying your best to make things work by doing all the wrong things, How sociable are you?, too sociable or too timid? Your cooking, i don't know how to advice you on that, i don't know if it is too much salt or too much pepper, or too much oil?? Sex!!! that one, every married woman, has to be a sophisticated LovePeddler in bed, i don't care how you do it, you have to learn all the bed tactics ever, (can you know all? mbanu!! but you will be pretty good).

Your hubby, is seeing other women and wives and probably comparing and contrasting.

Richvkunt: [/color]

Here We go again.
How did you come to this conclusion?
So apart from being a solicitor ,you are also a psychologist?

ronkebp: My dear, i don't think your hubby does not love you i think he has a picture of what he wants his wife to be or look like, sometimes it is realistic while majority of the times, it is very unrealistic.

we all as human beings have expectations of others, and that is why we stress so much on those things that do not really matter and focus on vain things.
I will want you to do away with the thoughts of leaving your hubby, this problem can be really handled. He complains about the way you look, what do you wear that is so offensive to him?, how do you look that he does not like?, how comfortable are you with your own looks?, your hair what do you do to them? you might think you are trying your best to make things work by doing all the wrong things, How sociable are you?, too sociable or too timid? Your cooking, i don't know how to advice you on that, i don't know if it is too much salt or too much pepper, or too much oil?? Sex!!! that one, every married woman, has to be a sophisticated LovePeddler in bed, i don't care how you do it, you have to learn all the bed tactics ever, (can you know all? mbanu!! but you will be pretty good).

Your hubby, is seeing other women and wives and probably comparing and contrasting.

Richvkunt: [/color]

Here We go again.
How did you come to this conclusion?
So apart from being a solicitor ,you are also a psychologist?

ronkebp:

when did "seeing"" become having an affair? i meant to see women outside, in his office, in the church, in the market, social gathering, to "look" at other women and other people's wives.........

I DON'T MEAN HAVING AN AFFAIR, I REPEAT.....DID NOT MEAN HAVING AN AFFAIR................ABEG!!!!

Richvkunt:






Please learn to compose your posts properly so that people reading can comprehend what your are saying.
Glad you clarified your post,because from your antecedents on this forum people might misunderstand you.
By the way,how were the holidays?

feminine A: Thanks knowledge4 that was a good advise.
Pls and pls ignore any any1 advocating that your husband is having extra marital affair. He is innocent until proven guilty a[/b]nd from your post all you guyz need is communicate better, be sensitive to each others needs and desires, pray more (praying together works believe me),and love each other more.

Pls a word or caution sieve all the advise you will get on this site and pick ONLY the ones that will help your marriage

ronkebp:

SOUR-BELLE, WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO READ THE POST WELL, especially when it is coming from RONKEBP, if it was from Agiboma, "it would be...Agy, you are so right".....hypocrisy, will not allow you to know the difference between "seeing"" and having "an affair", if he was, i would have clearly stated.....''your hubby is having an affiar"...am sure you did not see the " women and other wives" after the 'seeing"..........hummm?!

peaceheartt: My dear, this is not the time to start thinking of divorce, this is the time to work and pray.

Two important statements you made in your post, and based on this, I think u shldnt contemplate divorce,

"I don't want my kids to grow without their father because they are just getting to know him"
your kids still need their father,(especially if they are still very young). taking dem away from their father may affect them negatively for the rest of their lives.

"i know he loves me and i feel something for him"
There is still something there btw u two, he loves you and u feel something for him.

Your marriage need a spark, you have to work at it, prayers would help greatly, but you need to make some physical efforts like taking care of the areas he pointed out, "he complains about everything from my , shoes ,dress to my hair , my food,.......improving in making love"


Marriage is not a bed of roses, we all have our issues and crosses to bear, divorce is not the answer!

I wish you all the best as you take steps to bring back the spark into your marriage!

Johndoe100: Can someone please help me out. I must have been away from this board for a long time. By now cabal members should be here advising this poster on the best ways to "kick her yeye husband to the kerb" and rid herself of any man who does'nt worship her.
What happened? Am I too early? A woman being advised to stick with her husband, here? Wow I am impressed.

Richvkunt:

Ronke,
Here is some one else who could not comprehend your poor composition too..

Johndoe100: Can someone please help me out. I must have been away from this board for a long time. By now cabal members should be here advising this poster on the best ways to "kick her yeye husband to the kerb" and rid herself of any man who does'nt worship her.
What happened? Am I too early? A woman being advised to stick with her husband, here? Wow I am impressed.

Johndoe100: Can someone please help me out. I must have been away from this board for a long time. By now cabal members should be here advising this poster on the best ways to "kick her yeye husband to the kerb" and rid herself of any man who does'nt worship her.
What happened? Am I too early? A woman being advised to stick with her husband, here? Wow I am impressed.

ronkebp:

Too bad you guys, you both do not know the difference between "seeing" and having "an affair" that part i cannot fix, if i meant that, would not have put "wives" too, well everybody can"t understand "meaning of meanings"

Carry yourself to One corner Richy, with your protruding belly.....if you are not hating on CC's post, it is Jennykadrys' or the 'cabal"....when will you recover from the stress the cabals are giving you?

Richvkunt:


Actually they are around,watching and waiting for the appropriate time to come in with their vile advice.
Recently most people have found them out for their Divorce! Divorce!! divorce!!! kind of advise.
Most of the women with problems are becoming more sensible and understanding that NO MARRIAGE IS PERFECT.
Did you see the speed with which cabal member ronkebp retracted her original post when people took her up.

Richvkunt:


Ronkus baby,
Are you trying to call on your members for help?
Maybe they can not hear you...call out more.
I will oppose you people until you learn to be tolerant of other women who find themselves in difficult marriages and REFUSE to take your advise to DIVORCE their husbands.
I even recall you Ronke, advising a poor impressionable woman to BURN down her husbands house!
Is this the kind of advise a woman should give a fellow woman?

ronkebp:

My dear.....there is no limit to the havoc, i can cause, that is the truth.....no niggar wants to see my bad side. We all have our places, a husband has his, a wife has hers' and if women are trying to enjoy their marraiges in peace and being wise, knowing the dos' and donts' of a marraige...in your register and has become a cabal member?...then so be it.!!! i don't give 2.5 poo about what anyone thinks.

If i build a house with a man, using my resorces and my time, and after a few years, decides to throw me and the kids out, because of another woman, HE IS SO NOT GONNA HAVE THAT HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.He will have to start all over again with that woman. and that is TRUE-STORY.

Ronke,
Talk is cheap!!!
Me and you know all this your talk is empty air,however the people I am scared for are the poor impressionable ladies/women who are currently in unstable relationships who will read what you are writing and believing it as gospel truth goes out and stupidly burns down her husbands house.
The law against arson is still existing o!
A word is enough for the wise.