Tgirl4real:

Well, there are no guarantees. How each individual will react varies. Personally I think, if u both remain sincere with eachother and u keep doing what u do for fun, and if you still hold each other in high esteem despite the less attraction, there shouldn't be any problem except one partner is wanting more.

Tgirl4real:
People change over night Sagamite. All it takes is a lil shift in priority. U can't calculate the human emotions and always arrive at the same answers. There will always be a probability.

Olami90: d no of years 4 courtship does nt rily matter..compatibility shld count nd pple tend to b careless during courtship to notice wot is needed to b corrected claiming to b in love..courtship shld b d tym one shld b blunt nd examine wot he or she is doin thoroughly if u can cop wit it or nt..dnt manage d basic thinz nided,jst b decisiv nd mov on if d basics u needed are lacking.Change is constant nd u shld xpect to c more wen u marry him or her..i dnt succumb to 3months courtship...nd dia is notin wrong wit 5yrs nd abov courtship as far as d 2 parties are sincere nd positiv minded witout takin advantage of each other

Kenyata: It doesn't matter. For me, we courted for 3 months, got married and have been living together for 5 years now. We have two children together, a boy and a girl.

tasandra: I guess not,whats important s knwin each other better

Otses: Long or short courtship does not determine if a marriage will work. Some people say that when you get married after a short time to somebody then you should get ready for surprises. But believe me, no mater how long courtship is, someone who is hiding his or her character will still do. Its just the grace of God, and you should study each other to the best of your ability, because there is bound to always be surprises no mater how long of short you court.

Reference: Yes, the length of time is important however the content is the objective and matters more. In the sense that an intending couple may get engaged and stay aloof or in deceit however even against the most solid facades time is a good wearing agent. There is a minimum practical time any structure can be built and that includes relationships.

Sagamite:

Another thing, this sincerity, honesty, maturity etc are things that take time to judge and ascertain their durability.

All these is why I find it extremely helpful to get to know someone for a good while to (1) judge their qualities well and (2) build a bond with them so when attraction fades, there is something to fall back on.



Doing (1) and (2) helps reduce the risk.

More so, when dealing with women.

Otses: Long or short courtship does not determine if a marriage will work. Some people say that when you get married after a short time to somebody then you should get ready for surprises. But believe me, no mater how long courtship is, someone who is hiding his or her character will still do. Its just the grace of God, and you should study each other to the best of your ability, because there is bound to always be surprises no mater how long of short you court.

Sagamite:

According to your God, I am assuming it is that one in the Bible: God help those that help themselves.

Instead of passing all responsibility on his grace, do some grace yourself.

Tgirl4real:

U don't need donkey years to judge a good character/qualities as u put it. Once u know d qualities u want and the things u can't compromise, it's easy to spot.

For me its faith, honesty and selflessness. Once I'm convinced about those 3 area, the rest are things we can work out. If I'm not certain about one area, then I need a longer tym. D sad thing is, d longer u spend d more you compromise.

For bonding, I think if u spend quality time together in the short space u met, u will bond well except there is no attraction.

Tgirl4real:

That is not in the bible sagamite.

And truly, it's only the grace of God that sustains a marrriage. If you like, calculate from here to jupiter.

Btw, I commented on ur analysis on the other thread.

Sagamite:

You might not need donkey years but you do need a good length of time to make sure you are not basing your life decision and risk purely on faith.

I am sure you would not place £5m of your own money with someone you have known and hanged out with for 3 months and you feel you can trust, over placing it with someone you have known and hanged out with for 10 years and feel you can trust.

You obviously need a lot of time to observe, know and test someones' faith, honesty and selflessness. That I doubt can usually be reasonably done in 3 months. Not even if you are a psychologist, talkless of being a layman. More so if the person is willing to pretend to achieve an aim (e.g. an ATM woman).

As per the longer you wait you have to compromise: true! That mainly applies to women and why we see a lot of rushed marriages. That is just pragmatism and expediency, not idealism.

If time was not an issue for most wwomen, it would do them good to date for a decently long time before putting a ring on it.

As per bonding, you will bond better with someone over 4 years than you would over 3 months. So, as I said, the longer the better on average.

P.S: ATM means Anxious to Marry.

Reference: I know time isn't a popular thing with ladies but that glich in the software produces a proportionately higher dissatisfaction within that gender in cases where relationships are rushed. The key is starting out early and coming to terms more quickly. But once again the software glich won't permit that. Men on the other hand practice relationships years before they get into any and years before they are ready to settle down so they know what to expect and have built the necessary internal infrastructure to make them stable once in it. Once again its the time factor.

Sagamite:

You might not need donkey years but you do need a good length of time to make sure you are not basing your life decision and risk purely on faith.

I am sure you would not place £5m of your own money with someone you have known and hanged out with for 3 months and you feel you can trust, over placing it with someone you have known and hanged out with for 10 years and feel you can trust.

You obviously need a lot of time to observe, know and test someones' faith, honesty and selflessness. That I doubt can usually be reasonably done in 3 months. Not even if you are a psychologist, talkless of being a layman. More so if the person is willing to pretend to achieve an aim (e.g. an ATM woman).

As per the longer you wait you have to compromise: true! That mainly applies to women and why we see a lot of rushed marriages. That is just pragmatism and expediency, not idealism.

If time was not an issue for most wwomen, it would do them good to date for a decently long time before putting a ring on it.

As per bonding, you will bond better with someone over 4 years than you would over 3 months. So, as I said, the longer the better on average.

P.S: ATM means Anxious to Marry.

Sagamite:

Ah, pele! I no dey read the book o. I just hear such phrases from delusional bible-thompers that dream they can convert me.

Which other thread?

Tgirl4real:

Ouch! That hurts.

I see your point. But age should be considered sha. Dere's a certain age u reach where u don't bother with unserious guys. Like when I clocked 28, I told myself that tops is a year and datz courtship + marriage preparation. The minimum is 6 months.

Tgirl4real:
I wanna dream I can covert u

Tgirl4real:
Was referring to d link u posted here about g/friend and wife material.

Tgirl4real:

Naa...not that. Just that when u are at dat age, any guy that comes to u should know what he wants. Datz no tym for fooling around. If he has no good intentions, abeg shove him aside before he blocks beta suitors that are waiting around the corner.

Reference: I know time isn't a popular thing with ladies but that glich in the software produces a proportionately higher dissatisfaction within that gender in cases where relationships are rushed. The key is starting out early and coming to terms more quickly. But once again the software glich won't permit that. Men on the other hand practice relationships years before they get into any and years before they are ready to settle down so they know what to expect and have built the necessary internal infrastructure to make them stable once in it. Once again its the time factor.

Sagamite:

You might not need donkey years but you do need a good length of time to make sure you are not basing your life decision and risk purely on faith.

P.S: ATM means Anxious to Marry.

Sagamite:
I am sure you would not place £5m of your own money with someone you have known and hanged out with for 3 months and you feel you can trust, over placing it with someone you have known and hanged out with for 10 years and feel you can trust.