My people, Nigerians do no not know what love, marraige and respect is, for the sake of the good ones, i will say "some". There is nothing long courtship...say 5-10 yrs will bring if not immorality and fornication. I personally love the Indians and the way they love and marry, majority of the times, their marraiges are arranged, but they know what "for better or worse means", and to say majority of them have their own gods, and do not follow the Biblical "keep yourself till marraige" thingy.

I have thought about it and made my resolutions that what marraiges are going through in Nigeria now, is just because of the immoralities. "sex before marraige" is a platform for failure already, that is with a partner, not adding or counting a lady that has slept with 5- 50 men, now, add abortions ontop...what did they expect their marraiges to be in the long-run?? if not a big sham and failure. I tire.

Preach on dear, preach

Coogar and his paddies will listen at some point

ronkebp: My people, Nigerians do no not know what love, marraige and respect is, for the sake of the good ones, i will say "some". There is nothing long courtship...say 5-10 yrs will bring if not immorality and fornication. I personally love the Indians and the way they love and marry, majority of the times, their marraiges are arranged, but they know what "for better or worse means", and to say majority of them have their own gods, and do not follow the Biblical "keep yourself till marraige" thingy.

I have thought about it and made my resolutions that what marraiges are going through in Nigeria now, is just because of the immoralities. "sex before marraige" is a platform for failure already, that is with a partner, not adding or counting a lady that has slept with 5- 50 men, now, add abortions ontop...what did they expect their marraiges to be in the long-run?? if not a big sham and failure. I tire.

ronkebp: My people, Nigerians do no not know what love, marraige and respect is, for the sake of the good ones, i will say "some". There is nothing long courtship...say 5-10 yrs will bring if not immorality and fornication. I personally love the Indians and the way they love and marry, majority of the times, their marraiges are arranged, but they know what "for better or worse means", and to say majority of them have their own gods, and do not follow the Biblical "keep yourself till marraige" thingy.

I have thought about it and made my resolutions that what marraiges are going through in Nigeria now, is just because of the immoralities. "sex before marraige" is a platform for failure already, that is with a partner, not adding or counting a lady that has slept with 5- 50 men, now, add abortions ontop...what did they expect their marraiges to be in the long-run?? if not a big sham and failure. I tire.

Ah!

Abeg, abeg, no spoil market o.

Chill with your moral preachings my friend.

Sagamite:

Ah!

Abeg, abeg, no spoil market o.

Chill with your moral preachings my friend.

That is da truth....what do you want, a decent girl that could be the best thing ever subsequently s/e/x wise, or a lady that has tasted everything and removed everything

I just feel it is time we called a spade a spade. Majority of the girls in OUR country do not have an understanding!!!, i had a friend who felt that once you are in a relationship and slept with your partner then you are truely 'inlove'. Really? We have to go back to that era, when our grandmothers and mothers knew what it was to be inlove and truely keep yourself for that 'one' you love.

ronkebp:

That is da truth....what do you want, a decent girl that could be the best thing ever subsequently s/e/x wise, or a lady that has tasted everything and removed everything

A decent girl that is the best thing ever, not could be the best thing ever.

There is no way I am playing that no-sex-before marriage.

Is it after marriage I will open the package and realiase I don't like it? As if there is a return policy like you get in PC World? I for don waste all my money for some fairytale marriage I have no interest in. Is there a refund policy like in Hugo Boss?

Sagamite:

A decent girl that is the best thing ever, not could be the best thing ever.

There is no way I am playing that no-sex-before marriage.

Is it after marriage I will open the package and realiase I don't like it? As if there a return policy like you get in PC World? I for don waste all my money some fairytale marriage I have no interest in. Is there a refund policy like in Hugo Boss?

You are funny....i am talking about "true love" here not just "taste and spit-out" kind of love, i love the act of loving and being loved back, now, you actually get what you want, what is "opening a package and not liking it"? lets assume, you married a V. for an example, you broke her cherry, what is there not to like....because apart from the bedmatics and the feel of the V....what is there not to like? I am confused about you not liking the package, remember nobody is perfect, but the immorality is just too high.

So we are clear, i am not saying that the ladies who have their cherries broken and eaten by another, are not good wife materials, i am only saying, they might or might not (but majority of the times) encouter serious marital problems in the future.

ronkebp:

You are funny....i am talking about "true love" here not just "taste and spit-out" kind of love, i love the act of loving and being loved back, now, you actually get what you want, what is "opening a package and not liking it"? lets assume, you married a V. for an example, you broke her cherry, what is there not to like....because apart from the bedmatics and the feel of the V....what is there not to like? I am confused about you not liking the package, remember nobody is perfect, but the immorality is just too high.

So we are clear, i am not saying that the ladies who have their cherries broken and eaten by another, are not good wife materials, i am only saying, they might or might not (but majority of the times) encouter serious marital problems in the future.

I don't want to open the package and realise the ingenuity of wonderbra, magic spanx, gel pads and even serious scarrings.

My love is highly dependent and inclusive of sexual attraction (at least from the starting phase). I make no apologies for that.

Sagamite:

I don't want to open the package and realise the ingenuity of wonderbra, magic spanx, gel pads and even serious scarrings.

My love is highly dependent and inclusive of sexual attraction (at least from the starting phase). I make no apologies for that.

Well, that is what we are talking about, majority of men and women have that same mentality and end up marrying the wrong persons, just because you are sexaully comaptible, does not make them an ideal partner. Imagine marrying someone and there has been no children, what will run through the mind of the guy, won't he make references to the past life the lady has been living, or the lady making references to the past life the guy has been living.

Sagamilo, it is too late for you to change your life-style, tasting everything in skirt, especially if you are having a hard-on when you see all those things jingling, jogging and jumping in front of you, it is not for your generation, this our generation has seen everything..i am talking about the children, the ones that are not yet born, to bring them up with a perfect understanding that "sex before marraige" is wrong.

ronkebp:


Well, that is what we are talking about, majority of men and women have that same mentality and end up marrying the wrong persons, just because you are sexaully comaptible, does not make them an ideal partner. Imagine marrying someone and there has been no children, what will run through the mind of the guy, won't he make references to the past life the lady has been living, or the lady making references to the past life the guy has been living.

Who said that looks is the only tool I would use to judge?

I am not so morally uptight that I would insist a woman should not have a past. But an acceptable past would have limits dependent on what I can know (which would most likely be very limited).

ronkebp:
Sagamilo, it is too late for you to change your life-style, tasting everything in skirt, especially if you are having a hard-on when you see all those things jingling, jogging and jumping in front of you, it is not for your generation, this our generation has seen everything..i am talking about the children, the ones that are not yet born, to bring them up with a perfect understanding that "sex before marraige" is wrong.

As I see it, I have 2 options in life:

1) Find someone I like, know, attracted to and I am compatible with and be married.

2) Be single and enjoy it in every sense (using rotational theory) because (1) never happened.

I am happy with whichever option emerges.

Sagamite:

Who said that looks is the only tool I would use to judge?

I am not so morally uptight that I would insist a woman should not have a past. But an acceptable past would have limits dependent on what I can know (which would most likely be very limited).



As I see it, I have 2 options in life:

1) Find someone I like, know, attracted to and I am compatible with and be married.

2) Be single and enjoy it in every sense (using rotational theory) because (1) never happened.

I am happy with whichever option emerges.

You did not put find someone you are "inlove" with....have you ever loved...answer truthfully please!!!! and i mean that pure love, you have for someone irrespective of the person's looks, that feeling that cones from within that you really thought you could not do without, whether now or when you were younger?

I asked only because, so many people who eventually married the spouses they think they are attracted to or who has the best qualities they were looking for, come back to say they are not inlove with their spouse (whether male or female)or have finnaly found the person they think they love with their whole hearts, so that means there must be something wrong with not marrying the person you truely have an amazing feelings for.

I don't think so.It depends on how open and free you are with each other.
Some people take forever to relax and settle in a relationship while others are fast and easy going.They open up fast.
IMO, it's not really the length but what you share during that length of courtship that determines the course.Its what you share that will go into the foundation of the marriage.
practical eg.you may spend 5 years building a house of sand or 1 year building a stone one.

ronkebp:

You did not put find someone you are "inlove" with....have you ever loved...answer truthfully please!!!! and i mean that pure love, you have for someone irrespective of the person's looks, that feeling that cones from within that you really thought you could not do without, whether now or when you were younger?

I asked only because, so many people who eventually married the spouses they think they are attracted to or who has the best qualities they were looking for, come back to say they are not inlove with their spouse (whether male or female)or have finnaly found the person they think they love with their whole hearts, so that means there must be something wrong with not marrying the person you truely have an amazing feelings for.

When I say like, know, attracted and compatible, that is love.

It is really psychologically and emotionally impossible for me to love someone irrespective of the person's looks. So that is not even a point to debate on.

Sagamite:

When I say like, know, attracted and compatible, that is love.

It is really psychologically and emotionally impossible for me to love someone irrespective of the person's looks. So that is not even a point to debate on.

Like, know and attraction is not love.....it could be some of the qualities that will intensify or reduce the feelings you have that person.

So your avoiding the question simply means you have not fallen inlove before, ....don't worry you will know the difference between truely loving someone and being attracted to someone.no matter how you try to run away from it

ronkebp:

Like, know and attraction is not love.....it could be some of the qualities that will intensify or reduce the feelings you have that person.

So your avoiding the question simply means you have not fallen inlove before, ....don't worry you will know the difference between truely loving someone and being attracted to someone.no matter how you try to run away from it

You should know by now that I have fallen in love before and I am still in love....


.....with myself.

Sagamite:

You should know by now that I have fallen in love before and I am still in love....


.....with myself.

The selfish kind of love....abi .....

ronkebp:

The selfish kind of love....abi .....

Call it whatever you like.

Sagamite:

Call it whatever you like.

Sagamilo...you need to feel true-love, i think you are so protective of your heart because you have been bitten once, it is not a bad thing at all for once heart to be broken, it is part of the sacrifices you make for truely loving someone.

Ronkebp, you sure you ready for Sagamite? that guy can talk fa , talk pass chics
at least he will accept a lady with a past.
why wouldn't you, after you done sampling many opeke yourself

ronkebp:

You are funny....i am talking about "true love" here not just "taste and spit-out" kind of love, i love the act of loving and being loved back, now, you actually get what you want, what is "opening a package and not liking it"? lets assume, you married a V. for an example, you broke her cherry, what is there not to like....because apart from the bedmatics and the feel of the V....what is there not to like? I am confused about you not liking the package, remember nobody is perfect, but the immorality is just too high.

What's there no to like ke?
Let's not kid ourselves here,some partners make sex worth it whilst others simply don't
Sexual InCompability is one of the reasons Marriages fail.
People get married hoping everything would sort themselves out but reality soon hits them head on.

chic2pimp:

What's there no to like ke?
Let's not kid ourselves here,some partners make sex worth it whilst others simply don't
Sexual InCompability is one of the reasons Marriages fail.
People get married hoping everything would sort themselves out but reality soon hits them head on.

How about those that have sampled themselves countless times and after the wedding..still think they are not compatible sexually And to me it is not about the sexual compatibility in such a situation, but the fact that they are tired of doing the same thing with the same person over and over again....come to think of it, after you have really sampled, dissected the lady in and out....what bride price are you paying for again

ronkebp:

How about those that have sampled themselves countless times and after the wedding..still think they are not compatible sexually And to me it is not about the sexual compatibility in such a situation, but the fact that they are tired of doing the same thing with the same person over and over again....come to think of it, after you have really sampled, dissected the lady in and out....what bride price are you paying for again

If after sampling several times you still don't know if you are sexually compatible then I don't know what to say. Or rather there is something wrong somewhere.

By my 3rd/4th encounter with a lady, I would already have an Idea of how compabitable we are sexually. Not to talk off several encounters.

Btw, I'm not saying "Sexual Compabilty" is the most important attribute to be taken into consideration with regards to choosing a life partner. But it should rank highly up there. Why should you sign your life away when you are enjoying it in the first place?

After I have dissected,intersected, frolicked,shagged,shafted,copped off and shacked her, If she rates very highly in the other attributes I want in a life partner along with SC, then I am willing to pay any amount demanded by her parents. The likes of her are few are far between/

FOR EVERY RELATIONSHIP THE INTENTIONS AND PURPOSES OF BOTH PARTIES MUST BE TRANSPARENT TOWARDS EACH OTHER.THE LENGHT OR SHORTNESS OF A RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON DECEIT WILL ONLY MAKE BOTH PARTIES NOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER IRRESPECTIVEi OF THE DURATION OF THE COURTSHIP.LEADS TO DIVORCE,SORROW,PAINS.ETC BUT WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE HONEST,SINCERE,TRANSPARENT,TRUTHFUL AND FAITHFUL TOWARDS EACH OTHER,WITHIN THREE MONTHS THEY CAN GET MARRIED.YOU DONT NEED 8 YEARS TO KNOW YOURSELVES.YOU ONLY NEED A TRANSPARENT PERSON LIKE YOURSELF.

chic2pimp:

If after sampling several times you still don't know if you are sexually compatible then I don't know what to say. Or rather there is something wrong somewhere.

By my 3rd/4th encounter with a lady, I would already have an Idea of how compabitable we are sexually. Not to talk off several encounters.

Btw, I'm not saying "Sexual Compabilty" is the most important attribute to be taken into consideration with regards to choosing a life partner. But it should rank highly up there. Why should you sign your life away when you are enjoying it in the first place?

[b]After I have dissected,intersected, frolicked,shagged,shafted,copped off and shacked her, If she rates very highly in the other attributes I want in a life partner along with SC, then I am willing to pay any amount demanded by her parents. The likes of her are few are far between [b]

Your 4th paragraph makes sense,i like that but there are people who sampled their present wives before marraige and after being married for 10years are tired of eating the same food, some call it "law of diminishing returns", and they are off to find something new....what will you call that??

Fruitful2: FOR EVERY RELATIONSHIP THE INTENTIONS AND PURPOSES OF BOTH PARTIES MUST BE TRANSPARENT TOWARDS EACH OTHER.THE LENGHT OR SHORTNESS OF A RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON DECEIT WILL ONLY MAKE BOTH PARTIES NOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER IRRESPECTIVEi OF THE DURATION OF THE COURTSHIP.LEADS TO DIVORCE,SORROW,PAINS.ETC BUT WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE HONEST,SINCERE,TRANSPARENT,TRUTHFUL AND FAITHFUL TOWARDS EACH OTHER,WITHIN THREE MONTHS THEY CAN GET MARRIED.YOU DONT NEED 8 YEARS TO KNOW YOURSELVES.YOU ONLY NEED A TRANSPARENT PERSON LIKE YOURSELF.

And how would you know if someone is transparent in 3 months? How many dates can you have in 3 months?

Would you even get involved in a business investment that has a high potential of bankrupting you if it fails with someone you have only known for 3 months?

ronkebp:

Your 4th paragraph makes sense,i like that but there are people who sampled their present wives before marraige and after being married for 10years are tired of eating the same food, some call it "law of diminishing returns", and they are off to find something new....what will you call that??

So is a short relationship immuned from that risk?

Does it decrease the risk or makes it more likely?

So why are you mentioning it?

Sagamite:

So is a short relationship immuned from that risk?

Does it decrease the risk or makes it more likely?

So why are you mentioning it?

It might to an extent, only because the longer you spend with someone outside wedlock, the more likely you get tired of that person, except you live faraway from eachother, you have known all that you need to know about that person, so where is the fun when you eventually get married?? And that is why some people are so fond of eachother there is no more spark in the relationship, they just marry themselves for farmiliarity sakes. 3-6 months is not enough to know anybody, even the person you have lived with for 20 years gan sef, you have not known talk more of 3 months relationships.

Mentioning what?

ronkebp:

It might to an extent, only because the longer you spend with someone outside wedlock, the more likely you get tired of that person, except you live faraway from eachother, you have known all that you need to know about that person, so where is the fun when you eventually get married?? And that is why some people are so fond of eachother there is no more spark in the relationship, they just marry themselves for farmiliarity sakes. 3-6 months is not enough to know anybody, even the person you have lived with for 20 years gan sef, you have not known talk more of 3 months relationships.

Mentioning what?

Hell No.

The longer you spend with someone you are attractive to and have history with, the more likely you would bond and turn it from sex to love-making (as long as they don't let themselves go).

You don't need to have the majority of your fun in marriage, you just need to have the fun. So I don't know why you are asking where would the fun in marriage take place. You can have fun without a ring being on the finger and it would still be as much fun as having it in marriage. Fun na fun.

If you marry a stranger (lets say even an attractive one) and then after 1 year they start having kids and their body changes, you have less chance of creating the bond or maintaining the attraction. She might not even be letting herself go, nature is letting her go involuntarily. You might stay because you have signed the family-creation consortia contract and you feel you don't have the reasonable excuse to get out of it.

Virtually all relationships would lose spark. I would rather we lose our spark outside marriage and see what carries us on, than lose the spark in marriage and be standing in front of a judge giving excuses why we need to break up and why her being married to me is not the source of my wealth or the other option of being miserable all in the name of sustaining social expectations.

Sagamite:

Hell No.

The longer you spend with someone you are attractive to and have history with, the more likely you would bond and turn it from sex to love-making (as long as they don't let themselves go).

You don't need to have the majority of your fun in marriage, you just need to have the fun. So I don't know why you are asking where would the fun in marriage take place. You can have fun without a ring being on the finger and it would still be as much fun as having it in marriage. Fun na fun.

If you marry a stranger (lets say even an attractive one) and then after 1 year they start having kids and their body changes, you have less chance of creating the bond or maintaining the attraction. She might not even be letting herself go, nature is letting her go involuntarily. You might stay because you have signed the family-creation consortia contract and you can't get out of it.

Virtually all relationships would lose spark. I would rather we lose our spark outside marriage and see what carries us on, than lose the spark in marriage and be standing in front of a judge giving excuses why we need to break up and why her being married to me is not the source of my wealth or be miserable all in the name of sustaining social expectations.

Seriously, teach me how to break each paragrapgh and comment on each one, i am tired of lumping ideas together!!!

ronkebp:

Seriously, teach me how to break each paragrapgh and comment on each one, i am tired of lumping ideas together!!!

Place each section you want to breakdown between:



[qoute author=Sagamite]My intellectual paragraph[/qoute]

{Then put your own post}


Then the next

[qoute author=Sagamite]My fantastic paragraph[/qoute]

{Then put your next post}





I have spelt "quote" wrong intentionally so NL does not treat it as a quote.

Spell it correctly and it would work.

Sagamite:

Hell No.

The longer you spend with someone you are attractive to and have history with, the more likely you would bond and turn it from sex to love-making (as long as they don't let themselves go)

Oh!! so you have to spend a longtime with that person before you actually make love with person, so it is slamming first and love making next?

Sagamite: You don't need to have the majority of your fun in marriage, you just need to have the fun. So I don't know why you are asking where would the fun in marriage take place. You can have fun without a ring being on the finger and it would still be as much fun as having it in marriage. Fun na fun.

Why can't you have majority of your fun in a marraige, why have it outside the marraige, what is wrong in marrying early and spending so much time with your spouse before having kids, as in doing all those things you will normally do in a relationship in your marraige

Sagamite: If you marry a stranger (lets say even an attractive one) and then after 1 year they start having kids and their body changes, you have less chance of creating the bond or maintaining the attraction. She might not even be letting herself go, nature is letting her go involuntarily. You might stay because you have signed the family-creation consortia contract and you feel you don't have the reasonable excuse to get out of it.

As if nature is also not letting the men go, not that i am comparing, it is just that, the men also grow older, that is when they have a bigger tommy and their john -thoms would disappear beneath their stomachs

Sagamite: Virtually all relationships would lose spark. I would rather we lose our spark outside marriage and see what carries us on, than lose the spark in marriage and be standing in front of a judge giving excuses why we need to break up and why her being married to me is not the source of my wealth or the other option of being miserable all in the name of sustaining social expectations.

There is no way, you will not loose the spark in a marraige, but to loose it in the first 5 years of the marraige, is calling for trouble, even the first 10 years....we get tired of doing the same thing over and over again....but the love you had for each other and shared will pull you through those times, that is why it is better to marry the person you are inlove with and not just attracted to. One of my uncles' was attracted to his wife's ikebe, now it is the ikebe that is driving him crazy, it is the ikebe that is pursuing him outside their matrimonial home, because it was never love in the first place, but mere attraction, he has eaten of that ikebe, he is so full and the ikebe is making him purge..

Sagamite:

Place each section you want to breakdown between:



[qoute author=Sagamite]My intellectual paragraph[/qoute]

{Then put your own post}


Then the next

[qoute author=Sagamite]My fantastic paragraph[/qoute]

{Then put your next post}





I have spelt "quote" wrong intentionally so NL does not treat it as a quote.

Spell it correctly and it would work.

You do not know how to teach jor!!!! it is not working, i have done what you asked me to do but for where? shaa read it like that...till i get the hang of it....

ronkebp:

There is no way, you will not loose the spark in a marraige, but to loose it in the first 5 years of the marraige, is calling for trouble, even the first 10 years....we get tired of doing the same thing over and over again....but the love you had for each other and shared will pull you through those times, that is why it is better to marry the person you are inlove with and not just attracted to. One of my uncles' was attracted to his wife's ikebe, now it is the ikebe that is driving him crazy, it is the ikebe that is pursuing him outside their matrimonial home, because it was never love in the first place, but mere attraction, he has eaten of that ikebe, he is so full and the ikebe is making him purge..

Did my quoting teaching not work?

That is why it is fundamental to build the love before you marry.

That is why it is fundamental to take enough time to ensure lust is not mistaken for love.

That is why you need to test the durability and sustainability of the love before you marry.

You will hardly do those in 3 months.

Sagamite:

Did my quoting teaching not work?

That is why it is fundamental to build the love before you marry.

That is why it is fundamental to take enough time to ensure lust is not mistaken for love.

That is why you need to test the durability and sustainability of the love before you marry.

You will hardly do those in 3 months.

It did not work jare....i kept on modifying it....and it will take you 5-10 yrs to build the love??, another 5-10 yrs to know if it is true love or lust? when you really love someone and if it is genuine it will not take you long to know for real if it is the real thing or not.