₦airaland Forum

Wetin una expect? When every church is shouting fire come down from heaven

oilPUSSY:
Yoruba Muslims.

From Hijab to eradication of Innovations..

I pity Yoruba Christians

By d way, why did u choose oilPussy as name?

PaChukwudi44:
I seriously wonder how the yeye VP academics became a professor of Law!!! The man is just too dumb for my liking!! On what basis exactly did he sue the media houses for reporting interviews with Timi Frank

Idiot. Ur generation no prof. Your papa no where to b found.. Foolish idiot

U are just so foolish... U just have head, ntin dey inside, oloshi

Samsungx2:
after paying so much You still end up submitting cv for #30000 job or without a job

they Dont look for job. Job looks for them. Most of them are connected to important Nigerians

Chai... Getting serious o

I am sure you would be really good at dealing with science subjects. So you can add

Fundamental formulars In the English Language

to boost you English score!

*Concerning school*

*Approach one*

1. Pick out 10mbbs schools you wish to go
2. Out of this 10 pick 5 you can afford
3. Check how they admit. That is if they use catchment, if waec grades count, if They use jamb or not, check the kind of post utme dey do(whether A-level or o-level)
4. Choose one and chase it.

Note:
You can leave your environment for another geopolitical zone. Southwest is very competitive especially for southwesterners bcus of catchment.

*Approach two*
1. Apply for predegree in your school
2. Aim to be the best and get the highest.

*Approach three*
1. Apply for jupeb or ijmb and choose a sch
2. Score A parallel, it's easy(but hotttt) please score all.
3. Enter 200L straight

*Approach four* extreme*
1. Look for school abroad
2. Look for those with scholarship attached

There are many good schools abroad willing to accept brilliant students!!!

Please ensure you follow all instructions carefully in jamb reg, putme reg.
Get all necessary documents.


Good luck bro!

When there is live, there is hope... Welcome Home

lanreHeda:
I've checked o.i had 24 and my aggregate is 77.25 and I'm going for medicine.

Thats cool congrats in advance, I know my brother will be congratulated too.. Agg 69.53 from ondo state EEE

xtain7:
Hey I'm interested But the Link ain't going thru

chat me up 08185101621

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or chat up 08185101621

Are you an active facebook user? Read this!
Do you know you can earn at least #400 for being online. How?
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For more info:
It's real, people are earning big time.

Are you an active facebook user? Read this!

Do you know you can earn at least #400 for being online.
How?

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For more info:

It's real, people are earning big time.

we are blessed in Nigeria. We break records everyday all over the world. both good and bad records.. lol congrats...

ogajaki:
so you just sit down come type this long story

ASUU strike o..

My trip To Lagos. By yemi.

Chapter 3

I had barely slept when someone came knocking. I don't want disturbance, I said silently.
"Who be dat", I shouted
Na Billionz, your neighbor.
"I dey come"
I walked to the door putting a fake smile on. "you wan break my door? Abeg Small small oo"
"waiting you want self?"
"my handout", he said walking in.
This guy Kala oo, handout wey I just collect as I reach house.
"e neva reach 30mins wey I collect am na"
"Check your time" he said, laughing.
Lo and behold, I had been sleeping for over three hours.
"where u put am? "
"Check that corner" I pointed
I sat on the bed observing him. He should have seen it na
"Baba you never see am ni"
"Na everything I come carry, all my handouts"
"You wan read everything at once?" my eyes bulged, now pissed.
My principles never allowed me to own handouts. My view was always odd. life is more important than grades, I would say. Instead of buying mee206 steam table, I would rather use the 3H to buy five cups of garri and ten packs of snacks.
"Two cups in the morning, two cups at night." Like the doctor would prescribe.

I no dey go read am...
As strike one dey, I wan dey pack small small .. Lag things.
His reply got me laughing out loud
"Billionz, waiting yu need strike for?"
He was gone before I uttered the statement.
Back in bed, I thought of sending mide a text.
But what would be the content?
Should I claim to know nothing?
Should I sympathize with her?

Looking at the ceiling, I reminisced past events. My first sms to a girl was in js3. I had advanced from letter writing already. The ceiling appeared to be a screen, I saw clearly how foolish I was. I was as daft as the definition of daft, I laughed at myself. Sending that letter To Fatima in jss2, spoilt my parole. She came to school the next day to rant. Why abi?? The wrong person got the letter. I knew what auntie sekinat was capable of... She had slapped Fatima severally during open-days.
"children of nowadays didn't know what we faced then", I said laughing.

It's 3:00pm Already...my alarm rang loud...
Waiting I put reminder for? I pondered..
I Walked out of my room to go get water.
There was Billionz brushing his hair.
Where you dey go? I asked
"Inaugural lecture", he said sharply.
Oh!!! "today na Thursday sef", no wonder my alarm rang...
This guy never misses this event and he was never unlucky .
I Brushed and Took my bath asap.
Fufufu, fuufu...I sprayed dynamos BOD.
Where this guy go since morning, I saw him last yesterday evening. I took the ACE and 212 from his collection.
Fufufu, fufufufuufuuu .. I sprayed both perfumes simultaneously with both hands. It's obvious he belonged to the olowo class.
Surely if he was around, I would stick to one perfume. I wanted to be different tonight, not knowing why.
I stared at my face on my phone screen...self crushing...I was cute, several times I was told this. so I knew I was. Even danfo conductors confirms this.

"oshodi wole, oshodi wole"
"Fine Boi wole oshodi, oshodi #150"
I allowed the fine Boi appraisal enter my brain that I forgot my observations.
I didn't bother pricing, to form class for sure.
The setup was perfect, it's only God that can unravel the kind of bus I entered.
Funny enough it's not one chance remaining, there were three empty seats. I entered and sat close to an old man. A pretty lady entered, then an Alfa... As it were..
Voom voom the danfo left,
I started a conversation with the lady, her accent was ibo.
10minutes after The journey,
Alfa pulled off his cap.
It's odd, I wondered why...
......hey wey your phone, conductor said, pointing a pistol.
Na iiiim b...b..b dis... I said stammering.
The pretty lady was their treasurer, she was the one collecting the items.
Still in shock, She collected my two chains and my G-shock.
See ma life..., thinking of the injury I would sustain, that's if I didn't die.
****
The school hall was filled as usual, students everywhere. Not to come listen though....we came for the food.
I did a quick geometry, calculating the best position to get food. Last time it didn't work out well and I meant business today.
If I seat in the last row in the gallery, I should get food. I said.
Listening to the speaker
*..blah ...blah ...blah, who is interested in all this sef.
*recommendation
...
...
*Appreciation
i acknowledge prof....
...
...
"thank you all for coming..." this is another definition for turmoil.
Everybody was looking alert...

The war began from the other end,
See people flying chairs with dexterity...
Students were busy displaying their talents, so was I...
In this rowdiness...
I was dragging one pack of food with two other people...a boy and a boigirl
Today na today, I must leave with this pack. I conceived within. We were still displaying power when I looked at my side....
What I saw cracked my ribs, dat I left what I was doing.
It's Apostle ooo... He was busy dragging the big sack. the sack dey packed packs inside...
I couldn't stop laughing... JB was not in sight, probably, he is busy with his electronics reports.
I walked to another war zone to unleash the lion in me.
My phone rang out.
"See distraction"
I ignored the call jare, continued my business... Down I went, straight to the hall podium...there was war going on there, so I had to join.
The phone rang several times, I had no choice but to pick up.
"hello", I said..
****
...Back to oshodi trip...

I was dropped at the bus stop.
I didn't know why they didn't push me out, maybe bcus I was young... Too young to die? I pondered. Death is no respecter of AGE.
I thought of the people they threw out on motion. I was lucky. Lucky indeed.
Wallowed in my thoughts, I didn't no I was wet beneath.

My Trip to Lagos. By yemi
Chapter 2.

I was dreaming of MTH204 when I woke up. It's Thursday already, so fast I thought. We got home past Eleven last night, just to continue Bahoballi. Now here I am, complaining of a short night. I jumped out of bed and I reached out for a cup.
looking at the clock puzzled, I cleared my eyes with my left hand to get a better view. Chai it's past seven already, I must not miss this attendance Ooo... I Don miss one before and I won't risk another one.
Shuku shuku shuku, I rinsed my mouth...
Did ablution and out I went.
heading straight to school.

That Badbelle lecturer go just dey do anyhow, I thought. Engr. Bode was this strict lecturer who we tagged a Robot. He does everything just the way he wants. I will be spending two hours of my life taking a boring lecture this morning. I had a choice. It's either my sleep or the class attendance.
Another problem was the lecture theatre. 2in1 LT... I hated the LT right from first year. If you get there late then You came to play. I remembered skipping so many lectures, no doubts, the effects reflected in my result.

The LT was noisy as I walked In, this was a sign of Hope. The lecturer won't be inside with such magnitude of noise.

I went straight to the back to get a good seat. Not to listen but for the attendance. As I settled down I watched as students keep coming in, none dared to go out.
In batches, guys were arguing about Messi and CR7. who will be the World Best was their theme. I could see Mogzin my coursemate leading the group closest to me. He was looking serious as he establishes his premises on the subject. If this guy fit direct this seriousness go him studies he go dey nak 5dot. I said silently. To my right The ladies were busy with a different gist. To my left, towards the end of the class; there she was, yes she... My crush!
I don't need to see her face today, I thought. Her curves satisfied me Already. Olamide was wearing this blue gown that protrudes her shape.
As I kept satisfying myself in 3-D, Engr Bode entered. "Tear a sheet of paper", was his second statement after Good morning."Write your name and your Mat.No."
Ah!!! Alakoba ni man yii, I exclaimed quietly. Of course those by my side heard and were also lamenting.
Obviously, I wasn't prepared for any test. It's written on my face. "i only came for the usual: attendance.", bola said. She was sitting next to me. "yemi you go teach me oo", she said. I smiled... Knowing I might be the one to dub.
"if you don't know it you can check the manual, Shebi you have it.",the devil suggested. I started praying silently, I won't deny my faith, not today.
The question was dished out, it was a simple one.
"submit!" ,Engr bode shouted...the class disorganized. The word Submit is just a definition for turmoil...
"We didn't see yesterday night, what happened?",I asked bola.
>>I went to see tunji, my bf
<<and you no fit call, I come dey wait for etf. I was there till 11pm waiting for you, I lied, a white lie.
>>mabinu, ore mi atata. She giggled
<<I go dey teach you, another guy go dey enjoy. E no fair o...
Bola and I often go to night class together. I stopped reading at SET building because of her; My reasons are best known to me.
She is always wearing mini skirts and leggings. sometimes I wonder if that's all she had..

"Boring lecturer plus boring course", I said to akin my seat partner, as I glanced at my wrist watch. He didn't reply. omolomo ti sun. (pesin pikin don sleep).

The lecture ended.

I was determined to advance my relationship with Mide. As I approached her, I saw this small cut on her head and plaster on her arm. This wasn't on her face yesterday na, where she go nak head? I greeted her like I saw nothing. Just then I heard the girls gossiping about last night buglers.
"was it her lodge that was bugled?,why that cut?, was she raped?"...All this questions popped up in my head as I walked out of the class.
Trying to clear my mind off yesterdays event and What transpired today, I plugged my earphones to listen to music.
"......the beat...., superwozzy is bursting my head jare...
"Emi la kobi dagrin....
Emi la kobi Dagrin..."

Flowing with the music I walked closer to the gate.

"Dagrin o Fo fo Igbo...
Dagrin o fo fo Igbo...
Yoruba Lo fimi jawo!

Dagrin o Fo fo Igbo...
Dagrin o fo fo Igbo...
Yoruba Lo fimi jawo!"

I decided to take the longer route, so that I can dab for a while. I pressed replay.

I started singing along.

"Emi LA kobi dagrin, eje oladapo lowa ninu vain mi,
Igbami MA de, My kingdom is coming o ma roo bi pe ojo lon rain ni.
I got dagrin I my medula, ko ma ba se lo minutes brain mi"

I am in love with d game...
.....
....
...
"Oya dab dab dab, make you dab away your sorrow nigga.
....
....
Teba ni breweries gann
ee le Neva bare flow mi
....
....
Oya file fun wozzy eruku to Kaa Kewu jade nu Bible.
....
....
Efumi lowo to ni meaning, ke baa MI too poo bi scrabble.

Arameriri olosho so wi pe my body is an holy temple,

Eje Jesu ni mo fi She body applica karashika ole ever block mi ,
Ofurufu ma sokale wa anytime tawon goons baa ti waa ninu bunk mi...
....
....
....
Oo loud gann afi bi dreams MI,
But mi o kin sun moju,
so wan le tamper Pelu dreams mi..

Dagrin o Fo fo Igbo...
Dagrin o fo fo Igbo...
Yoruba Lo fimi jawo!

...WOOOZZY!!!"
The song ended.

Close to my house was this mama put, I didn't want to get tempted so I walked fast.
I didn't escape. The woman greeted me.
"customer!!!", she said
"ekaa San ma",I replied
"booni? Oo bami raja mo"
"Shey oti ribomi ni? "
"Rara ma, ko sowo ni ma"
"abi awon iyawo eh tin gbounje wa"
I smiled, not minding the question.
I opted in for three wraps of fufu...
I sat while she served me...
I thought of my friend Mary,
I promised her I won't eat without brushing again, but here I am. About to devour the food. She won't know jare... I murmured, as I unwrapped the fufu.

It was past eleven when I got home, all I wanted was to sleep. I jumped on my bed without any second thought.
"I go sleep taya today",I said, with my eyes closed.

Gba! Gba!! Gba!!!..
Gba! Gba!! Gba!!!..
Someone banged my door loud...

My Trip to Lagos. By yemi.

Everything that happened in this story are not necessarily true. So please take it as 'just a story'
Thanks.

Chapter 1.

Sometimes I wonder how the school authority is able to achieve steady power supply. This is Nigeria there should at least be power failure.I thought...
It was another evening at ETF LT and I can see Students studying for Test and probably exams. This 750 capacity hall was where I study at night since its always empty and there are less distractions.
Here I was, wanting to maintain my 4.5cgpa but the course I was studying seemed boring. I wondered how all this mech. Engr students cope with all this big handouts and textbooks. "Story jst too much" silently I said, staring at the Big handout in front of me. "Thank God say I no buy am o, na so i go jst dey look am", Still weary of where to start from.
Just then I brought out my snacks to keep my mouth busy. This woman kuli no make sense again, see as e small. Nigeria don baje finish. Kuli was my kinda snacks at the moment. We are close to "FUTA igbeyin". This was the statement used to describe the hard times when the semester is about to end. even with all the FUTA igbeyin sayings some students still have enough for themselves. Yes, the olowos!!! The category of students you will see In school are the Rich ones which I call the 'olowos', The 'students', this ones get to live normal life in school with their allowances, the 'G-bois' (hustlers) those that always flaunt their little cash after one blow(hope you know what I mean) and lastly the 'Jps', this was my simple term for ajepakos. The "let's go to school, God will provide crew". You should know my group of course...
As I was chewing my snacks(kuli) loud not minding if anyone was hearing, I flipped the handout to find where to start when my fellow Jps showed up. JB and his roommie Apostle.
JB was this Engineering Geek every engineering student wants to be like, even myself. He was called Iwe (book) by some students why others called him a prodigy. Apostle on the other hand was this controversial kinda apostle, I don't even know where to classify him, maybe a good guy or bad guy. Oh!!! He wants to be good but he his just bad.
They are just the best pair of roommates I have seen so far.

"Yemi How far na, you still dey read? ", apostle asked
"I just dey observe some kind things", I said
"you never hear say strike wan dey? ",JB said looking around, probably for where to charge his gadgets.
"Me no hear anything o", looking surprised.
"How you go hear, when na only book you dey carry about."
"we don give up jarking o, strike go dey." JB said as They walked away.
I knew he was wynin concerning give up jarking, but I kept silent.
Strike na bad thing o, I thought... But I need it sha, just two weeks!!!
It was past eight o'clock and I already gave up on what I was reading , I felt it was too early to go home. My eyes scanned through the LT for this my two friends as I packed my books. I went towards them smiling, thinking I would find them reading.
But I was surprised to find JB seeing a movie and apostle pressing his phone as usual.
"you don jark finish? ",JB asked
" I Don give up Ooo, life no hard like dis",
"waiting you dey watch sef"
>>bahoballi part2
<<which one be bahoballi bayii
>>you never watch am?? You Don miss finish.
>>you and book everyday
<<na you I wan Be like na.
<<you still get part one
>>I Don delete that one tey tey
<<which other movies you get? Come send me some
>>guy no disturb me abeg, I busy like dis
<<make I follow watch this one then
I joined him just where one film trick was displayed
<<Indian people sha, always doing the impossible..LOL
>> you never see anything at all, I just dey endure since.
There was Apostle, "Chatting with Akure babes.", He just Won't give up after several disappointments.

It's late already and I was already feeling dizzy. JB won't give up on his movie. I looked up and there was the usual student couple sitting in their usual position, the guy appeared serious, he should be reading his book I assumed, while his babe was fast asleep.
"Apostle ", I called, "Abeg make we dey go house, time na 10:50pm and I go still pass Jungle go my house."
Jungle as it's popularly called is this route I take home. Though short it is not a good place to take during day, talkless of night. Even with jungles fiery appearance I still take there late at night, with One mind I would say.
"Oya make we dey comot" Apostle said
JB packed up and off we went.
ETF to school north gate should be 10mins I estimated. From the gate to my lodge is another 15mins. I can't risk carrying my laptop about, I don't have plans for a new one yet.
"I go crash for una side tonight, time don go." I said.
Few minutes away from their house we got a message via whatsapp.
"Budglers are at work, robbing some olowo lodges." we whisked off right away...



comments please
corrections welcomed

dis 1serious o

na so I pack my bags oo. .ile ya!

laffing my yansh out
badt guy

i wonder how some will be happy to make foolish decisions.
shey men don finish for earth?

she married the grandfather instead of his grandson.

make i dey observe sha

its like d impossible is abt to happen
patiently waitin

really crazy...lol

blood of zachariah

emmanuelbrown26:
HV u paid out?

yes... i wont share assuming it wasnt legit.