God created the mule, and told him, "You will be a mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."

And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."

And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back.

Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry.

Then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren. And it is so.

Wting small , U no even hapi say u c small one, make i tell u ooh half bread is beta dan none

wat is small!!! dat shud b enuf 4 ur small mouth.

13 August

THIS MONTH  IS GOING
TO BE A BEAUTIFUL
MONTH

Don't ask me how I know,
'Cause I'm not sure why I do,
I just have this little feeling
So I'm pretty sure it's true!

You somehow always liven up
The otherwise dullest of months,
I don't know how you do it,
But I guess you have your ways.

The effect you always tend to have
Seems ever so profound,
Everything just feels better
Whenever you're around.

I think that must be how I know
That things will always be ok;
And why this month shall surely be
A truly beautiful month

Words of Advice-Take Care of Your Parents

Dear son, dear daughter…………
The day you find that I have become old,
Try to have some patience with me
And try to understand me

If I get dirty while eating……….
If I have some difficulty dressing………be patient!
Remember the hours that I spent teaching you these things when you were small.


If I repeat the same thing dozen times, do not interrupt me!
Listen to me!
When you were small, you kept asking me to read you the same story,
Evening after evening, until you fell asleep.
And I did it happily!

If I do not wash myself so often under the shower,
Do not reprimand and do not tell me that it is a shame.
Remember how many excuses I had to invent to make you take a bath when you were small.

By seeing my ignorance of new technologies,
Do not laugh at me but give me time to understand.

I taught you so many things………
To eat well………….
To dress well………,
To behave well…
How to confront the problems of life.

If I sometimes lose memory or am not able to follow a conversation,
Give me the necessary time to recollect and if I do not get there,
Do not become a nervous and arrogant person because the most important thing for me,
……….Is to be with you and to be able to speak to you.

If I refuse to eat, do not force me!
I know very well when I am hungry and when I am not hungry.

When my poor legs will not allow me to move as before………,

…help me as in the same way as when I held your hands to teach you take your first steps

And when one day I shall say to you I do not want to live anymore……….
That I want to die,
Do not get angry………….
Because one day you will understand!

Try to understand that at certain age,
We do not really live any more
We simply survive

One day you will understand that in spite of all my errors,
I always wanted what was best for you.

You do not have to feel sad,
Unfortunate or incompetent in front of my old age and of my state.
You have to stay near me,
Try to understand what I live for.

Help me walk,
Help me to end my life with love and patience.
The only thing that I need from you is a smile and a lot of love.

I love you …
My son!
My daughter!
Your dad
Your mum.

Headmaster arrested for allegedly raping 9-yr-old pupil
LAGOS — A THIRTY- NINE-year-old school headmaster identified as Umana Inuanam is presently cooling his heels at the Kirirkiri Minimum Prison, Lagos for allegedly raping a nine-year-old primary five pupil of his school.

The pupil who was identified by her father, Mr. Monday Oritsej, as Damilola attended Meoka Nursery and Primary School, Ishefun, Ayobo where she was allegedly defiled by the suspect at about 5.00 p.m in the school library. The action, it was learnt, took place when other pupils had gone home.

Source said the suspect had told the little girl to wait behind that he had some chocolate for her in the library after school hours. The unsuspecting girl, it was gather, waited patiently for her teacher only to be dragged to a large table in the library and raped with a warning never to tell her parents.

However, sources hinted further that after the girl got home, her father discovered that his daughter was walking with some difficulty and demanded an explaination. She later narrated how she was lured into the school library by her headmaster and had canal knoeledge of her.

The angry father reportedly rushed to Ayobo police station where he laid a complaint against the headmaster who was promptly arrested. He was later arraigned and charged with defilement.

The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Frank Mba, who confirmed the arrest said the suspect confessed to the crime, adding, however, that the suspect claimed he had sex with the girl with her consent and not rape.

Mba said investigations into the matter had been concluded by the police and the suspect arraigned.

Terry scare delays Mikel's new deal at Chelsea
ENGLISH Premiership side, Chelsea, has shelved talks on the new contract for Super Eagles' midfielder John Obi, as it fights to stop its captain, John Terry, from moving to Manchester City.

There have been talks of a new £70,000 a week contract for the Lyn Oslo former star, which would put him among the highest earners at Stamford Bridge. But following Manchester City's determination to get the England captain, Terry, the Blues' officials have shelved other engagements to ensure they retain their captain.

Before now, Chelsea was eager to commit Mikel to a long-term contract following overtures by Inter Milan's Jose Mourinho, who gave the Nigerian star his break in English football. Mikel's current deal is due to expire next year, and the officials at Chelsea feel they still have time to tie the star down. But that would now come after Terry's situation is sorted out.

According to The Sun of London, Terry's situation became worrisome to the London club's bosses following his reluctance to assure the club that his future lies in London. The paper reports that Terry is demanding showdown talks with Chelsea's owner, Roman Abramovich, over his future. The Blues skipper is furious that nobody at the club has spoken to him since Manchester City tabled a £30 million bid last week and cannot understand why he has been left in the dark.

Defender Terry, 28, feels insulted by the Stamford Bridge silence. According to an insider, "John feels betrayed and even unwanted. It's unbelievable - even though he's the club captain and one of the Blues' most important players, senior management at the club haven't once tried to talk to him.

"John wants to know what's going on and, more importantly, whether Chelsea actually want to keep him or cash in while they have a chance."

Even though Terry is widely regarded as a key player, he takes home £20,000 a week less than his England teammate, Frank Lampard, who is on £151,000 a week. Big-spending City is prepared to give the England skipper the wages he believes he deserves and is desperate to make him the bedrock of its new-look side.

Terry has played 272 games for Chelsea and scored 17 goals in 11 senior years at the club. He joined Chelsea aged just 14 and led the club to its first league title for 50 years in his first year as captain in 2004-5. Both chief executive Peter Kenyon and new boss Carlo Ancelotti have said that Terry was not for sale - but the skipper's future is still in the balance.

In a separate development, Ancelloti has revealed that a "creative player" is high on his wish-list of potential squad reinforcements and after two days of pre-season training, the highly-experienced Italian believes there is more than one way to bring about attractive, winning football, with the likes of Mikel in the middle, but will certainly not rule out another new signing as a preferred option.

Another building collapses in Lagos
FIVE people were in the early hours of Wednesday severely injured, as a building collapsed on the Lagos Island, less than 12 days after some people lost their lives in a similar incident in the state.

Property worth millions of Naira was also destroyed in the incident with no life reportedly lost as the building caved in.

The victims were all occupants of 6 Oguntusi Court, Lagos Island, and were all believed to be sleeping, when the building caved in.

The Nigerian Tribune gathered that a thunderous explosion had, around 1.30 a.m. on Wednesday, drawn the attention of residents of Oshodi area of Lagos Island to the scene of the collapsed building.

The Nigerian Tribune further gathered that the early response by policemen and sympathisers led to the rescue of five people.

Many residents of the building were lucky to escape unhurt or with bruises.

The spokesman for the state police command, Frank Mba, stated that the victims were rushed to an unnamed “nearby hospital”.

Mba also added that the police had begun investigations into the circumstances surrounding the collapse of the building.

Human Tongue to touch nose

There is a very great thing in life now, things are changing, do u believe that a human uses his tongue to touch his nose, who on earth can do that apart from using JOJO, i have seen one, real life.

This happen in Cross River State, Calabar. This Guy need to be shown to de Guinness book of record, who else can do this without using JOJO. this is natural. not fake.

RICHIE BOI:

i guess your name tells what u r?

welcome