₦airaland Forum

So, to all our lazy nairalanders who keep shouting:
"abeg, I cant read, it is too long" or "Am I mad? Summaray please!" or "I cant fit read all these thng, make sumbodi summarise am for me". Summly is for you. Buy it and start summarising your life. Kudos to the teen prodigy.
If only a smart app developer had done somethng like that for the sake of all those whining NLrs...if only.

All these stories that drive traffic to blogs?!
This same self-righteous guy will send a pix of his weiner to a sensual strange women he video chats with. IOW, they are both guilty/their guilt is cancelled out. #I hate reading crap.

Why are people dismissive of the great success that is www.nairaland.com? Is it that "you" are happy when "you" mope at non-achievement? You are sending out bad vibes @LADY OF RAGE & Co. I prefer Nairaland over and above all else.
And this is just the beginning! God's peace.

[quote author=32-D][size=18pt]Won bi Iya e da[/size][/quote]

I read this and I thought it was cool, so, I decided to share. Enjoy!

2300 AD Superhuman powers are available to common citizenry
The nanotechnology of recent decades has conferred powers to citizens that would be considered superhuman by 21st century standards. These upgraded "transhumans" could perform feats regarded as Godlike to denizens of earlier times. A suitably upgraded individual - if transported back to the year 2000 - would be impervious to weaponry and nearly impossible to contain. They could morph their body into a seemingly infinite variety of forms depending on the situation encountered.* If trapped in a maximum security prison, for instance, they could alter their own molecular structure, allowing them to walk through walls. * They could broadcast electromagnetic pulse waves to disable electronic devices, vehicles and other objects. Bullets and other projectiles would pass through them with no effect. Microscopic cameras, distributed throughout their body, would function as an all-round 360° sensor - covering the entire electromagnetic spectrum and making it impossible for an attacker to surprise them. They could sprint at lightning speed and cross a variety of dangerous terrain types: even molten lava would present no obstacle to them. If necessary, they could levitate from ground level to the roof of a skyscraper in seconds. They could turn themselves invisible, morph into another person entirely, or stretch their limbs like elastic. In many ways, they would resemble a comic book superhero or video game character. They could manipulate their environment in various ways, generating enough body heat to light a fire, for example, or turning inanimate objects into advanced nanotechnology tools, or modifying the properties of liquids. They could heal a wounded person just by touching them. They could read thoughts and emotions, or extract recent memories. If standing near others of their kind, they could link and combine their powers to even greater levels – harnessing the power of local weather, for example, or lifting objects weighing thousands of tons. Their sensory capabilities would be phenomenal. This 24th century person could view individual atoms with the naked eye; or if they wanted to, use their telescopic vision to see distant astronomical objects. They could hear a whisper from miles away, or filter specific voices from a cacophony of background noise. They could determine a precise chemical composition just by tasting, touching or smelling it. Due to their various biotechnology aids and physical upgrades, they would never require sleep. They could even survive without food and water - living instead off the energy of their surrounding environment, which would be absorbed into their photosynthetic, piezoelectric skin. This same external layering would keep them at peak levels of physical performance, as well as shielding them from the elements. In fact, many citizens of today have abandoned their homes altogether and taken to a nomadic lifestyle, for this and other reasons. Often, a "home" of today is little more than a small booth or alcove in the street, where a person can temporarily recharge and recuperate, or utilise the greater powers of the net. Even a person's body is often temporary, as they shift between various real world and digital environments. Much of the Earth is now being transformed into a gigantic computer grid where individuals can physically "plug" themselves in. Not everyone has opted to make this transition. Even now, there are segments of society which are adamant in maintaining a natural, minimally upgraded human body. These people are now a definite minority, however, given the practical immortality and other benefits offered by transhumanism.

3000 AD Purely biological humans are typically 7ft tall now, with lifespans of 120+*
For centuries now, the technological singularity has produced enormous wealth and prosperity throughout the solar system. Across-the-board improvements in healthcare, education and living standards have led to humans evolving into a race of giants - 7ft tall, muscular and highly athletic, with lifespans of 120+. Note that this lifespan refers to purely biological (non- cyborg) humans, who comprise a small minority by now. The vast majority of citizens have opted for genetic engineering and biotechnology upgrades which offer practical immortality

www.futuretimeline.net/the-far-future.htm
What do you think?

Michaeljones36: [size=20pt]So...the government is spending 2 TRILLION dollars on 18,000 civil servants and only 1.62 trillion on infrastructure for 167 million people.[/size]

Approximately, 2 Trillion NAIRA not DOLLAR. Dont give people cardiac arrest or High Blood Pressure.

Afam4eva: I'm into technology products eg Web services, inventions etc.

I want a name that's not common but that means something positive. Preferably, a 2 syllable name. I was searching for the name of an animal or plant that has a unique feature that i can use. I don't just want to go for any name but a name that can easily be remembered and will sell itself else i would have joined by Alaba brothers in the way they name their business eg Chymmex enterprises.

Cygnus Technology. It is the name of a star.
Cygnus Ltd.
Cygnus AI Ltd.

.

SEXY SEUN'S ILLUMATI CREEP OVER THE E-RUBICON, CELESTIAL ESCTASY NLWIDE MADDENNING SIMONANDAL BEAUTIFULLY DEACTIVATED OF TROLLING METABOLISM DIGESTED AND ERA OF PLATEAU SEDUCES ALL....

Hehehehehehehe. You need to go and rest and come up with something else. #Goodluck

Thank you Adewasco2k. Seriously, it sucks.

Abbott: Welldone to the house. My issue is all the crazy updates that goes on in the background that consumes my data. Win 8, i3. Dell. What do I do?

How do I stop it all? Windows update has been set to "Check for Updates but let me choose whether to download it or not."
All metro apps have been disabled from updating too. Yet when I'm connected(Glo modem), i see my data expending yet I'm doing nothing at all. What do I do nairanerds?

kacci: aw can i knw d pentium of ma pc sombodi help

What brand of computer are you using?

Welldone to the house. My issue is all the crazy updates that goes on in the background that consumes my data. Win 8, i3. Dell. What do I do?

To be fair, I think this issue of slow driving arises @ U turns where un/in~experienced drivers, male or female, would have to drive, reverse, drive n some more reverses (learners) before making a full turn whereas, experienced drivers(car form/brand also matters) can make a complete turn once.
Other places are intersections, un/in~experienced drivers just drive straight while smart drivers hedge them in and can get them stuck while driving past. Overtaking a slow trailer, driving up behind a stationary vehicle on the road and prolly scared of reversing n all that. Aside these places/situations, there is really no slow driver(male or female) since u r not on a circuit.

Toni "primus inter pares" Braxton.
Don't compare. Bey learned from the best, she learned from Toni.

Good for you hummingbird. Love easy.

@ All:
eyin omo naija, e ma se ere kere
ere kere ni fa oyun koyun
oyun koyun ni fa omo komo
....

Happy sunday y'all. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday daddy. As you age, gracefully too, may you have a deeper and closer walk with God and may joy, happiness characterise the rest of your life. Cheers sir!


7 of 80 Billionaires

Students going for their masters in UK, do they also routinely get rejected too when applying for visa or is the procedure unbending when it is clear that the person is actually going there to study(UK). Plenty thanks.

This is not the time nor the place to learn about these things. Get a good lawyer(Solicitor)

As posted above, allocation of shares can be complex. However, your incorporation documents, the memorandum and articles of association will be altered to reflect the new members or the new increase in your share capital from 2m to 10m. All the decisions made by your company are known technically as resolutions.

Your relationship with your investor(s) is contained and governed by a contract drawn up with provisions for every imaginable aspect of your relationship:funding, duties, obligations, management, control, profit sharing, termination, exit clauses etc.
For all intents and purposes, the investors is like a co-owner of the biz and may get involved in day to day running or not.
The investor usually will have a sit on the board so as to be privy to all the decisions you make concerning the company and they usually reap their returns by participating in the sharing of profits after payment of tax at the end of each business year of your company.

Kaiii!
I shall not die but live to declare the works of my Daddy in the land of the living....
NLs una funny die. It was joy reading thru all the hilarious comments. :-D

.

modicum: On issues like this, I want to thread softly not to be seen to judge nor condemn an anointed. For no one will pass judgement on the anointed and will be guiltless before God. Having said that however, my admonition goes to the men of God. Most of them started well and God lifted them. But what we now see is the danger of fullness. The deceitfulness of riches is derailing most of them. How many jets did they use at the beginning of their Ministry. Yet they saw the raw hands of God and their churches exploded with people who yearned for the truth. If a Pastor could even afford a jet in this impoverished economy, shouldn't the love for the people be enough restraint. Would Jesus do this if he were to be in Nigeria today? Among the hungered, a person drinking common Garri may be lynched for being sumptuous. This is what these men of God should think about. Also, I want to submit that only a very negligible percentage of wealthy men in this present Nigeria will be able to righteously acquire a jet, without a shady underground. Aside the acquisition cost of about N10b, the parking at the port is about N20,000.00 per day, Pilot's salary, maintenance is done daily, not like a car you service 3 monthly, landing tax in foreign countries is exorbitant even for commercial aircraft etc. All these associated cost of maintenance is over a million Naira monthly. So would an hungry man among the congregation not be tempted to pass judgement on the man of God? Paul the Apostle said if my eating meat will make my fellow brother to stumble, I will rather not eat meat. The men of God are making us to stumble by forcing the hungry populace to pass unhealthy comments. I will not. But let everything be done decently and in order.

OMG!
God bless your heart.

What!!! People are really giving suggestions.
@ OP: Try MFM HQ, you will be answered by fire!

R2bees: k

Dude, if you want to comment, dont click on "Quote" click on "Reply". K?

DheBuck: So the deformed people should do what? Doesnt it look like partiality your God made some good and made some useless...there's gotta be some other logic behind mans existence aside this our concept of God.
#Freethinker

Your logic is invalid.

@Fadelex “The most powerful weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”
Enuf said.[/quote]Lovely food-for-thot quote