₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
I don’t have vasectomy conversations with my kids. They are little girls . That one no concern them.
There’s only one person in my house who I can have that conversation with.

You wanting to know the outcome of that conversation means I might have to disclose personal health information of another person to you. You check am na. Is that how we do it?

And what I told you we had the conversation and it yielded result in a vasectomy, would that encourage you to get it? Be honest

Now you can't disclose personal health information?



The emboldened, nope, it wouldn't encourage me to get it.

GloriousGbola:
hmmm

hmmmm

HMMMMM

na real wa. a hysterectomy is like 600 to 800k. and it is far more invasive and dangerous . this looks like one of those wierd cases where prices are inverted in nigeria

I'm not surprised sha. Those two tiny balls with tiny tubes are delicate. A single mistake and a man is totally f**ked.

Many times, doctors will even advise patients to live with certain non cancerous growths around their reproductive organs. The risk is not worth it.

cococandy:
Yes cost is a big deterrent and like saint Mary said, that’s something for us to work on advocating for.
Birth control all around needs to be advocated for and made accessible to everyone.

Before we can get there though, we’ll need a mental reprogramming about who deserves it or not. Trust me that’s one of the reason why it’s so out of reach. We don’t consider it an issue that affects everyone. “It’s only married people’s problem” when in reality, there are about 100 million fertile people in Nigeria so it’s a national problem for everyone, not just married folks.

I'm yet to read just one disadvantage of condom or abstinence. There has to be at least one disadvantage of condom for us to call for the widespread adoption of vasectomy.

If a single guy undergoes the procedure, what then happens when he gets married? Reversal? After one or two kids, he would go for another vasectomy, right? All these experiments on one man's fragile and delicate testicular organs. C'mon, you guys should be realistic. Mind you, it might take another 1-2 million to reverse the process.

How can you even say that a 2 million naira surgical procedure in Nigeria is risk-free?

Magnoliaa:
Is the word compromise the only you picked there? LOL... I mentioned in passing of relationships I had to let go of. I think Coco and Amazon too, up there mentioned them having the vasectomy conversation with their children.

How many of us do you even know? I have read from so many women sharing their personal experiences in love and marriage and kids and name-changing.

Another point worthy of note is, will you not dismiss it as just online talks when women like that come to share their experiences? Picking holes and all of that?

The emboldened is the issue, dear. We only know what you guys stand for from your reactionary response to some ill-mannered guys on Nairaland. I think you guys are wonderful, intelligent, smart, and well-mannered, but to say the truth, the nastiness from these ill-mannered guys on Nairaland often get the best of y'all, at least online [I know we all have the freedom to post whatever..].

About the conversation Coco and Amazon had with their kids, well they didn't tell us the outcome of the conversation. Moreover, I don't think they had that kind of conversation with kids, well, maybe with their partners. The important thing, which we don't know, is the consequence or outcome of that conversation.

Magnoliaa:
Ion know what conversation it is you guys are having nor have the full range for it, or even the context... I'm addressing this your particular line. People use it a lot.

Quote me anywhere. It's WOKE People, I mean it, saying it all loud as it is, it's WOKE people that **usually** put in practice what they come online to preach.

That's the way you people believe we pound fufus for our boyfriends in real life. Like, why do you all assume people around us do not know who we are or what we stand for? Why do you think we shy away from or cut down on some of the things we believe in? There are many a relationships I've forfeited; others I'm willing to let go of because of my equality ideas. If I don't do some things because of my principles/religious beliefs, I can do same or even so much more for my support of women's rights. And this applies to other women of the same leanings, especially on this thread. I know they won't mind me speaking for them here.

I honestly think 'y'all' should cut us some slack. (I'm not saying you in particular). Compromises are necessary sometimes in a relationship, so even if a feminist falls short in some way, it's fine and realistic. When they do and bend, they're hypocrites who don't practice what they preach in their intimate spaces; when they don't and remain strong-headed, oh, they're being hard and unrealistic and will die lonely. No man will put up with such rigid standards... Best believe others are true to their ideals, the same way you are or you feel you are true to yours.

Shey one say, I'll be the kind of woman that'll be submitting my salaries to my husband ehn. Ka sa dupe lowo Olorun na if I (manage to) marry by forty. No wahala.

I agree with you that many people are true to their ideas, the things they post online, after all, I want others to believe that my ideas are genuine and realistic.

However, it would be great to read some of the compromises so we can better understand what you guys stand for. Many times when I post, I cite personal examples so whoever is reading can form an objective opinion. I would really love to read many objective posts that reflect reality and personal experiences.

Saintmary:
Now you have something to advocate for. Cheaper vasectomies.


That means your girlfriends will no longer be able to bill you over illegal abortions.

Good luck.

Nope, we haven't even agreed to undergo the procedure Calm down. We are never going to be able to convince men to undergo vasectomy. We are done convincing the people to take Pfizer's covid-19 vaccine at no cost.

Saintmary:
It's generally known as contraceptives, the term family planning was coined to please sensitive conservatives such as Nigerians.



They all do the same job.

Well you're right

Saintmary:
No one is touching your something.

Just to give it some holiday period.

It's reversible Oga, stop panicking.

And you'll still have erections and shoot anyhow, only that the sperm is reserved for the right time. Is that not better?

It doesn't seem like a bad idea for a married man with 5 kids

cococandy:
Vasectomy is virtually risk free. It’s not an unnecessary procedure if the man getting it is in a committed relationship with a woman who’s committed to him. Condoms will be unnecessary in that case and the woman can get off hormonal birth control with its side effects.

Well, I trust that you understand the procedure but you also have to understand that Nigerians have got trust issues.

I felt like that earlier comment about nurses was unwarranted. Moving on though…

That being said, your last paragraph in this post just highlights our whole point in this thread. That married women are given more access because they are married. You say no sane government would prioritize single women and I say it’s insane to even discriminate in the first place. The issue isn’t that there isn’t enough resources to go round, the issue is that we live in a patriarchal dystopia where a woman’s worth and respect depends on whether she has a man or not. So a married woman can get an abortion because she got pregnant “the right way” but we demonize a single woman for the same thing.
Hmm!

The motive of family planning is to control the population of the country. I don't think it's a case of measuring a woman's worth. We have primary health centres everywhere in the country for expectant and nursing mothers. I don't think people care much whether a nursing mother is married or not before getting the attention of health workers. This thing is called family planning for a reason. Those who want access to family planning outside the provisions made available by the government can visit the private health centres or pharmacies. Single guys have been visiting these places for years to buy condom.

AmazonTopaz:
Nobody is enforcing anything on you learn to understand and stop being paranoid same you automatically assumed that people have no excuse for unwanted pregnancies same you is reading meanings to vasectomies what powers do I have to enforce such(even if I had such powers I would not because I am democrat and not an autocrat) but rather sensitise and raise awareness on it.

I'm only being realistic. You will only be wasting your time preaching vasectomy to single guys. If vasectomy won't prevent STIs, the average guy won't accept your message.

For the married ones, well a few might agree but your motives have to be very clear. Also, you have to consider the fact that Nigerians don't trust the healthcare sector. I personally won't allow anyone touch my balls in the name of vasectomy.

Saintmary:
I understand you're arguing against vasectomy because you're scared of it (come to think of it, only you among several women discussing in this thread)


I don't plan to drag matters with you though.

Men don't joke with their balls.


The emboldened

Saintmary:

It's seriously funny. The shape ehn, na wah.

But it's very necessary.


I think women should start designing their own condoms though.

Now I'm curious to know more. Off to YouTube

Saintmary:
It's absolutely safe and simple.


It's also reversible in most cases.

Please stop this scaremongering.

That's why I used the term "perceived risk". That term plays a major role in healthcare.

Asides from that, I believe some procedures are simply unnecessary. Vasectomy may reduce unwanted pregnancies but it will definitely increase the rate and number of randy men. Have you all thought about this? And when you say you don't care, do you also realize that vasectomy would not put an end to STD? After vasectomy, randy men would still need condom for safety. It's totally unnecessary

pocohantas:
True. Some grown women do not even know how their body works. Seems like too much calculations for them. That is why I am headlining a program to educate the girl child on their menstrual cycle (hygiene, safe period and safe sex ). You can donate menstrual pads and cash to us.

Now I remember I have calls to make sef. Thank you for this reminder.

LMAO

I have read a couple of your posts as regard the girl child. You're doing a wonderful job.

For the timely reminder, you have to call me too

cococandy:
A hysterectomy is by far way more complicated and dangerous than a vasectomy. It’s major abdominal surgery. Risk to life and limb. Long recovery. Excruciating pain. It’s a totally unnecessary procedure to be used as a birth control method.

Is your second paragraph a jab at me? Una don start now. I’m only just seeing that. Let me ignore the subtle dig. I’m not saying every woman has the same healthcare needs. It will definitely differ from person to person. I’m saying we shouldn’t be providing better access to married women than the single ones . Explain to us how being married makes one woman more deserving of reproductive healthcare than the other. I’m waiting.

The perceived risk of vasectomy is high out there. So long as there are other alternatives for men, then vasectomy will always remain an unnecessary procedure.


As per the second paragraph, thank God you found the post. I don't mean any harm though. Our fight no fit end

Family planning is heavily subsidized by the federal government in Nigeria. There isn't enough to go round. In this case, no sane government will prioritize the sexual needs of single ladies over that of married women.

Saintmary:
As at the time when 3 condoms cost #100, one female condom was #200 and was not easily accessible too.

Like I said somewhere, women have a long way to go.

I talked to a 21year old girl some years ago about real stuff, she ran away.

I'm too blunt but my frankness is too sharp for some people.

It is not easily accessible because of low patronage. Demand drives supply. Why should I import female condoms when many of you won't buy? You see, reality differs from illusion.

cococandy:
This sermon gets preached in my household.

Help us increase the volume and reach of the message.

The question is how many of them have accepted the sermon??

AmazonTopaz:
Since they have been playing their part for years they should have no problem being open to vasectomy na two way thing after all

LOL. You guys just love unnecessary war. Why enforce vasectomy on me when I can afford a condom? What are your motives? Be honest with yourself.

NoToPile:
Loool expantiate further,you blame the mother for working? You blame the father for not providing enough to let the woman not work for at least 6 months? since you don't blame the system for not providing at least 6 months paid mat leave.
Who do you blame? I really want to know.

Hope you do know no mother would want to drop her 3month old baby anywhere if they could help it.

The system is not the issue. Organizations make this information available during induction programmes. The economy isn't the issue either. Buhari has been president for 7 years - What we are facing today has already been predicted a long time ago.

I believe that couples should be responsible enough to make provisions for these things. 6-12 months away from a job we love to do shouldn't cause any harm.

AmazonTopaz:
You are not serious, it is not a competition it is what a same responsible man will do vasectomies are reversible and it is a man's little contribution to his own healthy family life when he assists his wife and not dump everything on her hopefully if your wife chooses to have an abortion you would not quarrel or object to it since you failed to play your own part in preventing it.

When my sons come of age they will be sane enough to do the right thing.

What if I tell you that I have never seen a female condom? I have no idea what a female condom looks like. That shows that men have been playing their part for years. Many women out there don't even know their safe period.

pocohantas:
All the values (mostly evil) you guys have promoted. Did you wait for women to help you spread the word? Why are you now waiting for us to help una?

LOL. I'm for anything that will improve the life, health, and living conditions of the woman. I don't have to enforce vasectomy on anyone to achieve that.

Saintmary:
Hmmmmm, we're not actually asking anyone to sterilize themselves, just to provide necessary care for any woman who needs it, whether she's married or not.

Oh...kay!

AmazonTopaz:
Actually I have and you can as well join the crusade

When your son agrees to a vasectomy, I will consider.

pocohantas:
You can start it for us at your guys next meeting. Na we start the other ones for una?

Which other one o, Poco?

Saintmary:
You don't seem to understand my posts.

I expect all females of reproductive age, regardless of marital status to be attended to, equally.

Woman is woman, uterus is uterus, fagayina is fagayina.

Double standards means you are expecting different things of the same set of people who you separate into different groups in your mind.

I hope you understand better.

Uterus is uterus but how many single ladies can gladly say yes to "hysterectomy"?? You want to do what a mother of five does with her body but when the doctor tells you to remove your womb, you will run.


The world really needs more women who are realists. Unfortunately, many of you aren't. Even some acclaimed nurses who should know better (that marital status play a lot of role in healthcare) have continually sacrificed their professional practice and knowledge on the altar of gender fight/equality.

AmazonTopaz:
You know what, I think we should be advocating for male vasectomies because men can impregnate as many women at a go yet they don't get held to a standard in playing their own part in preventing unwanted pregnancies which could lead to abortions they get a pass while women get to bear the brunt.

If men were open to vasectomies believe me women would not be having unwanted pregnancies that may lead to abortions.

In countries where abortions are legal because of easy access to family planning and even the abortion services the rate of abortions are much lower but in countries where it is not legal it doesn't mean that it does not happen o they just go through the back door alley to get abortions which could be life threatening for them

The only problem here is that many of you won't start this sermon in your households, with your sons and brothers.

AmazonTopaz:
How is it different when both pregnancies are undesired or do we want to kid ourselves that unmarried people don't have sex instead of looking for only married women for family planning while not make it for every woman(man) that desires it without judging them for sinning differently? That will even reduce the rate of unwanted pregnancies.

The risk and undesired complications is as a result of the fact that abortion in Nigeria is illegal so women cannot do it safely at hospitals they do it through the back door and get subjected to quacks thereby resulting to undesired complications for them.
The one's that do it abroad where it is legal how many of them did you hear of that had undesired complications?

Well, I think science has provided a number of options for safe sex so anyone looking for more is just being careless or deluded. Condoms are by far the cheapest/safest form of contraceptives out there (asides from the natural withdrawal methods). There is really no excuse for unwanted pregnancies in this age and time.

As per the issue of complications, well we share the same view.

NoToPile:
You are supposed to know better and it's not school technically, it's meant to be a baby care center.

Blame the system/economy and possibly the creche, not necessarily the mother.

There's nothing to blame about the system/economy. Motherhood is not for everyone.

showafrica:
This work of a thing is over rated. Ask her how is her take home, you will hear 45k or highest 80k. Less than 200$ in the name of i dont want to be a house wife . My brothers, hustle oo, make them no use ur pikin gamble. Marry a house wife... Who is ready to take care of ur children during the first 6 yrs of marriage at least and open a side business for her. After nursing all your children, she can then look for a work of her choice and work for fun. Why should I marry someone who is always rushing out every morning and coming back late, taking orders from one idiot as boss? It doesn't make sense to me. I rather keep numerous baby mamas

Na herd mentality.

Ladycewhy:
Lol one way it just has to be a woman's fault.

Now it's her fault for being married to an irresponsible man. Well we can both agree on one thing tho, the man is an irresponsible Nigerian man.

I didn't read anything about the man. You brought the man into the picture because like you have already conditioned your mind, a man is definitely behind the wrong decisions of a woman.

Ladycewhy:
You should ask what kind of man will allow his wife go back to work if he was providing.

You should ask what kind of woman marries or have sex with an irresponsible man.