₦airaland Forum

Mrs Chima  CONGRATS on the baby! I didn't know you were preggy.

Lol@ #7

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]I can't believe this thread is still 'on and popping'.
I refuse to read what I missed. No telling what
type of garbage I might find and subject myself to. [/color]

What?! And miss all the name calling? Why in the world would you want to miss that? lol

Here's a quick summary

Ms Chima you suck
Mz Darkskin you suck
Ms. Potato says please stop fighting

Rinse and repeat.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=638676.msg8052687#msg8052687 date=1301952513]You still begging for punny Crooky?  With all the money in the world you claimed you have and STILL BEGGING FOR PUNNY.

SMH.[/quote]Now you know the richest folks are also the cheapest. Some of the ones driving the beaters own the biggest and baddest houses. The broke folks are the ones always flossing.

Nope couldn't do it. To me that shows a very very weak character. And the potential for drama is too high. No thanks.

desholah:
@Topic.

I know this comments is definitely going to annoy some Nigerians but i got to state it . . . . Yep i got to be fully explicit and not implicit like most of you!

If you are to reply those who diss your country with most comments i'm seeing here . . . .Then you are not a real Nigerian But A naughty person!!!

If there are some unclear points to some Foreigers on this Website Then Our mission is to make it clear and correct in a good manner not the way most of you people use with them to express the point.
Instead of us correcting them in a polite way but we choose to it roughly,angrily and totally disrespectfuly . At the same time other Foreigers had to interfered to defend out great nation ''Nigeria'' politely while we are here bashing and dissing the poster.

The so Called Tpiah or Taba . . .Whatever . . .Should be banned entirely from surfing this Website . .If i'm just the Mod .wouldn't hesistate to implement that . . . . , Such A FAKE NIGERIAN!!!

Katy.
My advise is to visit the country,Try staying for while and come back here to tell us what you experience . . . .Period!!
I think our country is enough to defend itself.
At the same time ,I agree with you if you say any bad things about my country . .It's just your view.
Tomorrow i might be able to say bad stuffs about your country . . . . . . Enjoy!!!

Thank you thank you thank you!! You are so on point with this. When someone talks about your country in a negative way it is the perfect chance to prove them wrong by being NICE. They are then the ones who end up looking foolish. Don't just say that you are better, SHOW them you are.

Nekai:
I just caught up on Katy86's posts and I really feel sorry for her. A woman knows when her man's heart is not with her. She has mentally prepared herself for the day when they are no longer together.

The unfortunate part is that her man may be picking up on her attitude towards him and creating an exit plan based on the fact that he can tell she isn't 100% invested in the long term.

It could be a big misunderstanding based on other people's situations, and stereotypes.

Or she could be seeing the situation crystal clear.

Why immerse herself in his culture, develop a relationship with his parents, and force herself to cook food she doesn't like, if she knows at the end of the day she will look like a fool when he walks away. He lied about how many siblings he has. That's such a small thing to lie about. If he lied about that, maybe he lied about other things as well. Imagine learning to speak his language only for his family to mock her as soon as she gets off the phone. And feeling like her kids are not going to be a part of their family anyways becasue they are his "white" kids, well that must hurt like hell.

Or because she doesn't see herself with him in the long run, she doesn't immerse herself in her man's culture. He probably feels likeshe doesn't care about his family, or his homeland. He is disappointed to have kids that will know almost nothing about the life he grew up living. This causes him to act more distant from her. He probably feels like he will make the most out of the situation by providing for his kids, becoming financially stable, and starting over back home.

In the end they will end up reinforcing each other's stereotypes. 

Excellent post! This is a prime example of why in any relationship whether it is mixed or not there must be communication. I wonder what choices her boyfriend would make right now if he knew that she has no intention on staying with him after the kids leave? She has made her choice, too bad she is not giving him the chance to make his.

[quote author=N.Delta link=topic=634417.msg8041146#msg8041146 date=1301790328]Lol @ Adamsrib.
"pale face from germany" lol isn't that a bit harsh. Glad you didn't break up with your husband because of the paper thing. I meet an AA chick online and we somehow clicked. Swapped pictures, facebk etc with time started talking on phone and eben we arranged for her to visit me in the UK and she was very existed about it. Then suddenly she developed cold feet. When I asked y? She said every single person she told said the same thing. Oh his just after the papers lol. But your cute and I like you besides am in the UK and its easy to marry a white woman here. Infact I had had a white chick who left because she said I was only using her for sex but she wanted more. But the A.A chick won't take any of that. We eventually drifted apart. That was my personal experience. I think they've got to understand that there are several African guys who genuinely want them just for been black and curvy lol. Lol. In the UK the white women don't always think like that because there are several black white couples all over the place especially in London.[/quote]Pale face is mean? Okay, yeah well I guess it can be interpreted that way. I try to watch my mouth and tone but sometimes it comes thru anyway lol

If I'm to be completely honest, if my husband had ever mentioned wanting to live in US I'm not sure if I would have continued talking to him. The stories you hear about men getting married, having kids then when their time is up, just walking away from them and not looking back , is disgusting. But it is not limited to African men alone. Desperate people do things they would never do under different circumstances. There is no excuse in hurting innocent children though and I hope karma kicks their a.s.s.

Let me ask you a question, the white chick you dated, did you consider her wifey material? Do you think you will end up marrying a white woman?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=634417.msg8040657#msg8040657 date=1301781865]You just proved my point on the things that people say on here can cause others who are not NIGERIAN OR AFRICAN to have such views about them.  For some strange reasons, they are saying ONLY the media is painting them in a bad light but what is HORRIFYING is the VERY people that the media is painting in a bad light ARE collaborating with the media. 
Now that is sad.[/quote]It is sad. I think some know what they are doing, but I give the benefit of the doubt to most. I think they may just be jaded. Thank God I didn't let anyone rob me of my baby. I learned my lesson well.

[quote author=N.Delta link=topic=634417.msg8040105#msg8040105 date=1301774529]Ok guyz now I think you are better of with the black women. White and black relationships have too many issues.

(ME) They'll learn. But the hard way. The brotha dating the pale face from Germany is going to learn that the hard way. Since the dawn of mankind black women have had your back. Some people just have a very short memory.

@ msdarkskin
Jamaican-American that's a raster combination lol. The only problem I have with the A.A chicks is that they always think you want to use them for papers.

(ME) When I first met my husband I thought the same thing. Especially after reading this site. I almost broke up with him, thankfully he talked me off the ledge. I married a Nigerian who doesn't want to leave Africa. He loves Nigeria and wants our children born here. The western media is brutal in how it portrays Africa. The BBC isn't much better either.[/quote]

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=634417.msg8039384#msg8039384 date=1301765718][/quote]Check your email please ma'am.

Katy86:
This thread is quite interesting 

I think this kind of relationsships often do not have a real chance, because most of the time the African part is not really in love with the white partner and loves the paper and the money from the person more than everything else.
I also think that the relationships often break because of the white man and women who only want to have an exotic sextoy on their side.

This kind of relationships can not last for a long time.

For all the people who are really in love, other problems will come to them. I know a lot oft this couples. They are living poor in Europe and can not pay all the bills every month but the phone never stop ringing because the African familiy needs some money again for handy, clothes etc.  This kind of terror can destroy a good relationship.

I am togehter with a man from Nigeria since more than 6 years now, but when  I think about future I do not see us as couple. [/b]I know that he wants to go back one day. He says he want me to come with him but hey I will never leave my country and go and live in Nigeria. Thats crazy.
The time we know each other, we never think about this, but I am getting older and I have to be honest to  myself. Last year he travel the first time to Nigeria. It was hard for me to let him go. [b]I was really afraid of him, but this time show me, that we are not good for each other.  I cant sit at home and wait that he caome back from his travelling. I am to young for this kind life. I can still search a good partner who have the same dreams about future like me.
That is a reason why I don not want to have contact to his family. They do not need to be worried about that we can stay together forever. No. I think about traveling there with our two boys so that they know their grandparents but I  am not sure if that is a good idea. I mean ok, they are his sons, but is that family in Africa the family of my two boys?
I dont think so. I see it often how this people are treating their "white" children. It is like they are not their real children so why should I hurt them?

For me I would never want to be in a relationship with a African man. If I want to have another relationship again( man are so difficult ) I would prefer an European man.

How do you know Mr Right?

He'll tell you lol

No seriously, it works differently for every woman. I think you'll know when he consistently shows you the three "P's" (taken from Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Woman, Think Like A Man"

He will Profess his love for you
He will Provide for you
He will Protect you

When a man's actions consistently line up with what he says, I think you'll know

pro01:
You can never go wrong with that mindset, I have to say. Some of your fellow women would prefer to rant about how 'insecure' or 'overprotective' their man is for having a problem with their shady moves; later they would wonder how their relationship/marriage crashed. Thank God you're wiser than that. . .and a steady, peaceful marriage would most likely be the dividend of such wisdom.

May God bless all of our homes so love and peace may abound and strife find no welcome at the door.

Am I missing something here? No where have I read where Mrs Chima said she would keep talking to her exes if her husband had a problem with it. Maybe she will and maybe she won't but don't put words in her mouth, that is not fair at all.

All Mrs C is saying is that if you don't trust your spouse/mate then find someone you can trust. She has also stated that her husband knows and trusts her. What is dangerous ground for one person is not for another. We must all know our limitations and our weaknesses individually. If you know talking to that ex boyfriend/girlfriend is going to cause a problem in your current relationship, then you might want to think twice about it. But never ever let your individual weaknesses prevent your mate from having a fulfilling exchange or experience. That is the definition of selfishness.

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]False.
Typically it is the woman who falls the quickest
but I tell you one thing, when a man FALLS he FALL HARD!!!!
A man who is in love is so in love it appears obsessive! I'm telling you!
They know it too, hence their reluctance to show it.[/color]

Definitely true statement!

If my husband has a problem with me talking to my exes then I will cut them loose in a heartbeat. How my husband feels is the most important thing to me. I had a problem with him being friends with a girl he went out with before we started dating because she clearly was not over him and he promptly blocked her on FB, because how his wife feels is a priority to him. To cut down on maintaining two separate pages we now have a joint FB page. Makes things much easier as far as family news etc. Our page is not searchable and before any friends are added we must both approve. This may not work for everyone, but it works for us.

niecy:
I am a united states citizen and am planning on marrying a Nigerian man in June 2011 what documents do i need to bring to marry my nigerian man and how do i find out the cost of a courthouse wedding and the costs of marriage certificate? and do they perform weddings on weekends? what days are they opened to purchase a marriage license. Do i have to be present to obtain a marriage license or can my Nigerian boyfriend purchase marriage license and pay for everything if i send money along with my passport photograph

aisha2:
Why re you the one paying for the wedding and license? Am sorry to say but in a real Nigerian marriage it is the mans responsibility, why are you paying? I think it is more important to answer those questions first

Exactly

My husband's parents retired to a neighboring country so I met my future sisters and brothers in law first. It was very lovely. Out of his siblings only two were cold to me. I figured two out of six wasn't bad. But they came around very quickly after I met my future Mum and Dad.

Meeting Mum and Dad was wonderful! Mum was so relieved and happy that I wasn't making her baby (he's the youngest) move to US that she loved me right away. She is here now with us helping me with my Nigerian cooking (there are some things a recipe can't show you) and helping me decorate our flat. All of my sisters in law work and are raising small kids so their time is limited, I thank God for Mum! I have quickly grown to love my new family very much. I am blessed.

[quote author=Ms. Potato link=topic=634417.msg8014264#msg8014264 date=1301454540]Who be your cousin? 

Ladies! Ladies Ladies! Yeah its a free world to choose who you want to be with but do you honestly think that sticking to your choice and ignoring what your family has to say or do would do you any good? Like i said, you ladies have not been trough this so you obviously dont know how does it feels and how hard can it be. Being in an Asian family, one's parents can go to the extreme just to have you get married to my own kind. You can even see it on Jay's posts earlier on when his gf's parents wanted to kill him and got all the higher authorities involve just to get rid of him.

Just thank God that you have feelings for your own kind and pray it stays that way.

Mz Dark Sweety, So now even the discriminate people whom have the same skin tone colour but different country?  [/quote]How would you know what I have been through? Don't discount other peoples experiences just because they are not your own.

I have a newsflash for you, your parents are never going to embrace your boyfriend with open arms. You can rebel, threaten and do whatever you deem necessary, but you are not going to change them. Just like they are not going to change you. You have CHOSEN to be in this situation, and yes I said CHOSEN, so you have to decide between your family and your boyfriend. That is the reality of the situation. Its it fair? No. Does it suck that you have choose? Yes. But we all know life isn't fair. And no matter how hard you try, you dont have the power to change other people. That's real.

FYI, I'm an African American woman who just married a Nigerian man and moved to Africa. We happen to be the same color but our cultures are very very different. I'm still learning the language, foods etc. It has not been easy, and I have a long way to go but everyday with him makes it all worth it. Good luck to you and may you find peace in your situation.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=634417.msg8014247#msg8014247 date=1301453981]I am mad at you Cousin! [/quote]Nooo, please don't be "miffed" lol, check your email.

I always find it ironic when people make decisions then expect everyone to fall in line just because they feel it's right. You have a right to love whoever you choose to, and your parents and family have a right to reject that choice. It's called freedom of choice.  Freedom of choice is a two edged sword. It allows you to make decisions based on your beliefs and it allows others to disagree with you based on theirs.

Anyone who makes a decision and then gets upset at someone disagreeing with that decision is the epitome of a hypocrite. Let your decision be yours and let others make theirs.

IMO there are too many fine chocolate and caramel colored brothas walking around for me to dip my toe in any other flavor.

LadyT:
Yep different strokes for different folks.  But as far as I am concerned I woudnt go out of my way to confront her shes a non entity a waste of time and space. And the fear of not knowing what I can do will kill her slowly. But if our paths cross she will regret it because I was insult her she will not eat for three days but I will do it all with a smile on my face  

When I grow up some more I want to be like you. I do understand what you're saying, I'm  not saying its wrong I'm just not there yet. As I grow and mature as a woman and wife I pray I will eventually get there. But this isn't about me, it is about OP. May she find the strength to handle this her way.

You "prophesy" my death while I'm giving birth and you confess to a mutual family friend that you are in love with my husband then yes, I will make your life hell. I'm newly married so I admit I'm still a newbie, but d.a.m.n. that not confronting the other woman poo. I'm going to make you wish you had never met my husband. This is my opinion and how I would handle it. Every woman must be true to herself. If you think confronting the other woman is a waste of time, then don't do it. Simple as that.

I am not a morning person so I'll roll over and cuddle before I get out of bed. That is my version of good morning.

@OP, Sometimes you have to fight for your marriage and when I say fight that is exactly what I mean. Make an example of Sister Big bosoms. Give her no peace. Like Chaircover said, go to her Pastor, put her name out there to be talked about. Get her phone number and give it to available men. Sign her up for some dating websites. She wants a man so badly help her find one, but let her know in no uncertain terms she cannot have yours.

As for your husband he told you he would do whatever is necessary to gain your trust back, so tell him. Write it down, put it on the bathroom mirror, tape it to the toilet, put it in a frame and put it next to every phone in the house. Tell him the consequences if he fails and mean it. You must follow through if he fails. Your husband does not respect you so you must show personal strength through all of this. Sometimes men
only understand strength so show him that.

As for your husbands friend, make it crystal clear he is no longer welcome in your home. Everyone should not be allowed in your home. We are all spirit bodies, be careful of the
spirits that come in your house. There are certain members of my husbands family who are not welcome in our home and they know why. Your home is your haven, guard it well.

I'm praying hard for you. You can do it, don't ever doubt yourself sis.

Lmao@ hunger strike and all the funny comments. You and your wife are still newly married, please give each other a break. You two are still getting accustomed to living with each other. Learn to choose your battles and the stuff that is not big deal just let it be. Relax.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=620294.msg7988632#msg7988632 date=1301115479]See MBJ! That wasn't a good mind bleep! You is PLEASED on all levels when you get the RIGHT MIND bleep. I am telling you what I know.[/quote]Mrs C I never got email. Will you try one more time? alphagape@yahoo.com