kokoye:

OK.

I agree, as a responsible man, you want to make sure your family is taken care of. Adn that is exactly what I am but I am not going to knock down the men out there trying to be responsible.

I am sure we have seen cases of men who have done everything you listed here andans somewhere along the line, an accident happens - the man is no longer able to be the provider. That is no man's wish or prayer but stuff happens.

what then?

If he picked a good woman she will step up to the plate to take care of her family. We all know that bad stuff happens, that is why women need to have their papers too. I also think that if a woman wants she should work.

My husband had women try to toast him and he said it was the biggest turn off ever, but that is just him. To each his or her own, but for me, I never did such a thing when I was single.

kokoye:

^^^

No wonder 'men' commit all kinds of crime to 'care and provide' for their 'ribs' these days at all costs. I guess that's acceptable to  you

What happened if or when you 'provider' is no longer able to do these things . . do you move on to the next 'provider'?

And does the fact that you started a conversation with a man indicate that he cannot 'care and provide' for you 

Dont twist the Bible please.

God help us all.

Hold up playa. Dont put words in my mouth and infer meaning when there is none. Nobody said anything about stealing. If that is the only way you can hold it down, then that is on you. If you attract chicks who only want you for money, again that's on you. If you didn't go to school and get a good education so you can take care of yours, again THAT'S ON YOU.There are millions of men who go to work every day to provide for their families legally. And in case you didn't know, that is what real men are supposed to do.

*waving hey Mrs C*

To answer your question, no way jose! As Kokoye said, let spoiled people date themselves and spare the rest of us.

The "rib"was made to be cared and provided for. There is a reason man was created first. I will never ever pursue any man. It's a shame, some women have bought the feminism crap to their own detriment. Men can't even be who God created them to be anymore.

Sorry duplicate post

Iremi, when a man shows you who he is, believe him. If he says one thing but acts in another way, believe his actions. When a man truly wants you, he will not play these games and you won't have to guess if he likes or cares for you. Just be glad you found out what he is about early on in the relationship.

Don't dwell too long over sleeping with him so early. Just learn from it and move on. You deserve better than this but you cannot bring something good into your life while hanging on to the bad. Let him go.

I am "high yellow" and my husband is dark chocolate, it is strictly a preference.   For anyone to see more value in someone solely because of their color, is a i.d.i.o.t.

I'm okay Cuz. We've been without power since Friday night.
So hubby sent me to sis in law house until it comes back on. I dont think I'll ever get used to this.

I see you've pulled out the lighter and hairspray lol. I got your back, I'm rolling 3 deep with a big tub of vaseline.

duplicate post

Mrs.Chima:

Name calling doesn't bother me. I am more concern with you putting your hands on me. I am ready to bleep a nigga up with my lighter and hair spray.

lmao oh lawd you are crazy!
Mz D come get her, she actin' up again lol

tom28:

Ms Potato b4 i answer your question let me let you know that there are lots of Americans who scam as well.Many of them are involved in credit card scamming and insurance fraud.The reason that the West love to brand all Nigerians as scammers is just for the reason they just cant accept it that black ppl are that intelligent using scam to fool a white person because according to white ppl"s theories the scam business is a complex game used by highly intelligent ppl to manipulate their victims.White ppl believe that blacks have an inferior IQ hence they get baffled that more and more of them are getting scammed by nigerians hencing putting a dent on their theory about blacks having an inferior IQ and hence that explains their frustration and their determination in branding all nigerians as scammers.

Amen! Well done. You have people in US stealing elections commiting insurance, credit card, Medicare, Social Security, and mortgage loan fraud just to name a few.  Nigeria has its problems, but what country doesn't?

I miss my Mum's Sunday dinners. The mac n cheese, sweet potatoes, greens, black eyed peas, cornbread and chicken. I miss my Mum more than the food though.

@OP this is how degradation works. You have to sink lower and lower to get the "thrill." You took the bait, and swallowed it hook line and sinker. Yet despite all your sexual freedom, here you are, on a anonymous board, worried about losing the affection of your husband. You are now beginning to realize the consequences of your actions. Whether you are Christian or not please believe me when I say that for every action there is a consequence.

Please allow true respect, joy and love in your marriage. As his wife you can give more pleasure than 10 women, and as your husband he can do the same for you. Put the love back in lovemaking and him wanting to share you will never be an option.

Hmm, I'd say thanks for the great memories and I wish you love and happiness always.

No. I would want someone who does not have a theory on marriage but one who has applied it to real life situations. In my opinion married people think differently than single people do. Even here on NL I can usually tell if someone is married or not just by how they approach situations and answer questions.

xxcarolxx:

The link you posted, is how i stumbled across nairaland, I still have to master jelloff rice as i keep burning my rice,

lol it really is a small world. As for the rice I burn mine too. My husband makes it perfectly, I still haven't figured it out yet, but I will.

People please don't let Katy make this thread about her.

@OP you can find many recipes online. http://www.motherlandnigeria.com/recipes.html This has popular Nigerian recipes. Just do a search and you will find lots of info. You may also want to check out the food board here on Nairaland. They are very helpful.

If you were him, would you call you?  Honey learn to choose your battles. Everything ain't that serious. Very few people want to fight all the time over every little thing. Sometimes you have to choose between being right, and being in a relationship.

It sounds to me like you have some self esteem issues. You are trying so hard not to appear to be desperate, but in reality you are. Work on you. Know what you will and will not put up with in a relationship, and let the rest go. You will be happier and live longer.

dayokanu:

How come the men dont react violently like that

A lot of them do. My beautiful Aunt was beaten to death by her boyfriend when she moved out of their house because he was abusing her. She was only 28 years old. This was before there were strong domestic violence laws in the USA. He got sentenced to 5 years in prison but only served 3. Some men have the mentality that if they can't have you, no one else will either.

As for women acting loco I don't agree with it either. They are getting locked up too due to violence. No man is worth me going to jail over.

IloveFred:

N.Delta: don't worry. He is not to work only, but he helps me. It is his choice. He is very nice. I want to give him what he wants. His needs are important to me.

I'm glad your husband is now with you. There have been some really mean, snide, sarcastic and hateful comments in this thread but you still keep coming back to update, that let's me know you are tough. We cannot ask God to bless our lives with a good man and then be too afraid to see where it goes when one shows up. I applaud you for not letting fear get the best of you. The easy thing would have been to say no to him and stay in your "safe zone", but you did not do that. With your tough attitude and resolve you will be okay no matter what happens. More importantly if things don't turn out as you hope at least you can say "I tried." We only get one shot at this life so it is best to live it and have NO REGRETS. All the best to you and yours.

A good man knows that a happy fulfilled woman is going to be a happy and fulfilled wife. Once the babies come your time is no longer your own until they leave home. I would point out all the benefits of you getting your degree now (it may cost more money in a few years etc.) and see if he will go along with that. If he still does not change his mind, then you have a decision to make. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Mrs.Chima:

Well, this old lady used to tell me that it always good to let a man do most of the things even though we may know how to fix it or build it. She said that men are designed for those type of things and if he doesn't have a problem whatever it is needed to be done. Let him.

Sometimes I forget to play "Damsel" and when I do it the smile of Chima radiates miles away.

It boosts their ego thinking they are helping a dummy and inside her mind she is saying "Negro, I know how to do it and glad that you do too".

Exactly! This is what my Mum told me before I got married and it works.

Y

Inked_Nerd:


Eh ya, I'd give you some height if I had any to spare

By the way, all women rock both tall and short

Thanks! I'm not too proud to take donations lol And you are correct, women of all heights do indeed rock!

Tall confident women rock! My best friend is 6 feet and men are always after her. She wears heels and stands tall, men love that! I'm 5ft 4in and I've always wanted to be at least 5 ft 8 in.

If you can't stand to look at your partner, then I think the relationship is over. Being attracted to your partner is not the main thing in a relationship but it is important. Men are more visually stimulated than women, but if you are disgusted just by looking at him, then he is not the man for you.

No, ummm, yes.

Hey Cuz!

Girrrl, i thought it was just me being a newlywed and getting used to living with him. Bathroom time its MY time. The first time he walked in and sat down on the tub while I was using the bathroom, I about died lol. As for taking a shower together, you know it's bad when you feel dirtier coming out than you did going in lol

I do it all the time. He knows I can do it, but it makes him feel so good when I ask him to take care of it. He will then show me how to do it, but I will conveniently "forget" how the next time. Plus he looks very sexy in his tool belt.

Mrs.Chima:

I am good and you? I know what happens in the shower, DUH. I am saying that if she bold enough to take a shower with you then she should be bold enough to endure what happens in the shower.

All I know is that I must lock the door when i shower because Lawd knows things get slippery and messy if I don't lock the door!

I have 3 hiding spaces in my house. I have to change clothes in my hiding places or I'd never get my clothes on lol. As for showering I have to lock bedroom door and bathroom door. He can pick the lock on bedroom door but at least it slows him down. Who knew that showering and getting dressed would require 007 evasion tactics? lol