₦airaland Forum

I have never understood people who set themselves up to fail. Your friend has sabotaged not only her future but the future of her husband and both their families. It's a sad situation and she is now stuck in a marriage that was never intended for her. Her husband deserves a wife who genuinely loves him and she has robbed him of that. Yes love does grow over time, but before you marry there should already be a strong foundation of love and friendship. God gave us our feelings for a reason and while we should not let feelings rule our lives, they are there for a reason. She did not listen to her inner voice and now she is trapped. There is nothing you can do for your friend. She must fix this herself and in the process of doing that she may learn some valuable life lessons that will prevent her from making other bad choices. Pray for her, support her as a friend, but you cannot soften this blow for her.

A man putting forth the effort to cook for me is very attractive. It would not however make me more likely to sleep with him. A man will have to do more than cook for me to have sex with him.

If you have hung out with him and know him pretty well I'd say you very well could love him. Time will tell.

^^The topic is about pooing.

I would want to know when the relationship got serious and we started talking about a future together. If you waited until after engagement I would be pissed! Not because you are infertile but because you waited so long to tell me.

aloy/emeka:
I don't get it, what is the matchbox for?

Lighting a match then blowing it out takes the smell.away. That is a trick my Mom taught me long ago.

BABE!:

The question: Can you tell if my 'closed Macbook' has 'crashed' just by looking at it?

LMAO! You guys got mad jokes tonight.

If you knew she was not the love of your life then why did you marry her? Your impatience is now going to cause grief to a innocent person.

Eyes and lips. I love nice big juicy lips and eyes that reflect emotion. Very very sexy.

Funny thread lol  Isn't that what the bathroom is for? I always carry matches in my purse for situations just like this but if you flush as you go, the smell won't be that bad. But if I can hold it I will, there is nothing better than using your own bathroom at home.

Hilarious

He makes me laugh like no one else can.

Nope I would have to leave. I would have been more forgiving if he'd told me about it when it happened, but to wait FOURTEEN years and keep that woman working in my house and letting your illegitimate child play with my kids unknowingly?. . . . nah that's too much for me to overcome. I can tell you I forgive you, but I'd really be plotting my revenge and he'd probably end up dead, so I would be better off to walk away.

deal_ordea:
One simple question.

Do you think because of the emphasis and power our society places on money this days, does anyone think this has completely messed up relationships marriage and love within this Nigeria ladies Life? Most of them tend to be in a courtship because the guy is simply financially stable and the worst part is when the guy tend to lost everything within a twinkle of an eye, You see them deciding to be the boss of the house.To me It seems the role money is granted in our society sweeps some of this ladies right off the table and from consideration in the realm of love.

Should Capitalism be phased out because of this and many other flaws?

You act like this is something new. Society has ALWAYS placed value on money and power. You think that is the by product of capitalism? Hate to break it to you, but it is not. And then you go on to ask if capitalism should be phased out? What should replace it? Socialism? Totalitarianism? *sigh* Capitalism may come and go, but broke brothas complaining is here to stay. Heaven help us women!

Aiekwede:

Hi Honey :-)

Love is a choice. I choose to love my spouse even though he knows how to get on my last nerve. I choose to be with this imperfect person for the rest of my life and to stand by him no matter what happens.  In marriage you don't always have that lovey dovey feeling. At some point you will have heard all their stories, talked about everything you can think of, and you will have seen them in so many different situations that you can predict with 99.9%  accuracy what they will say or do and yet you choose to stay.  Choosing not to love your partner every single day is, in my opinion, why relationships break down. If you are not choosing to stay together then by default you are choosing to no longer be together.

Waaay too long. After the seventh paragraph I was done. I don't think marriage will ever become extinct but I do think the expectations of marriage are going through a, major transformation. Men and women are now getting married on their own terms which is a step forward towards progress in my opinion.

livedit:
Not necessarily.  IF, they speak, then of course, out of common courtesy, I would speak back.  But far as speaking to everyone he speaks too, it's not your duty too.  I would politely smile at them and THEN if they say, hello, how are you, then I would say it back. 

Just because you are a "couple" doesn't mean you have to lose yourself completely.  A smile should be sufficient and if you want to speak, then speak if not, then don't.  I love my husband to death, Lord knows I would do nearly anything for that man, but when we are out and he greet people and talking to them. I don't trip over my foot trying to run and greet them. Now if my husband introduces me or whomever he speaks with introduce themselves to me, then livedit greets back.  Other than that, a genuine pearle white smile is okay enough.

Perfect answer!

Such wahala over clothes? She can suggest changes for you but to nag you about it is wrong. If you aren't going out looking crazy then there shouldn't be a problem. Let her dress you for a day and see how you like the result. You may be surprised. Also sit her down and talk to her. Try to find out if there is more to the situation than you know.

tom28:
There are some guysl who might be possesive about who their partners mingle with while others dont mind so hence we are all different in a way.For example in the western world its common for men to offer their wives to their friends for sex while other men pay young men to do their wives while peep at the keyhole and when u ask them why they do this they tell u they dont mind if other men do their wives.Belgium has the highest number of wife swapping and in wild sex parties married couples have sex with other married couples as well.[b]Its also a common trend in the united states as well [/b]so yes their are men who would be generous to share their wives with other men but then we africans are not into it.

Nonsense! That is only true if your friends are all skanky hoes. Hoes do attract other hoes. And do yourself a favor, turn off Jerry Springer!!

My hubby would not have a problem with that as long as he knew the person very very well. If it's a function at night he'd prefer I go with a man in case something went wrong like car issues etc. I have no problem with him going with another lady, but he will not do it. This actually happened to us a few weeks ago. I was out of town and he did a presentation at a seminar/banquet. He called all four of his sisters and none could go, so he went by himself rather than take a woman I did not know very well. My Mum-in-law raised a wonderful man! :-)

I have never done that. My business isn't really making money yet. If he asked me to hand over my check I would do it. No wahala!

I've only been married for two and a half months now. We did court wedding in Nigeria and then had a white wedding. Our white wedding was gorgeous, elegant and simple. We did a destination wedding at Sandals resort in St. Lucia. Fifteen friends and family members joined us, and everyone had a wonderful time. When we got back to US  my parents hosted a big reception for us and invited about 100 people, it was lovely! His family threw us a beautiful reception party at the family compound when we got back to Nigeria to stay. I'm not into big weddings and all that comes with it so this was perfect for us.

My husband hands over all of his checks to me. I have a very strong financial background and I'm more versed in different ways to save. A real man will acknowledge the strengths of his partner and use it to better his family and himself at the same time. If your wife would use that position to make you feel less than a man, then your issue is much bigger than money.

I don't understand questions like this. Why are you asking us? We don't know your boyfriend, we can't confirm or deny any of your suspicions. Or are you silly enough to think all Nigerian men are the same? Ask him about what you have found out and see what he tells you!

I am attracted to men who have a sense of humor, so if he can make me laugh, he will get my attention. You must also be respectful. No words like shawty or red, that's a BIG turnoff.