₦airaland Forum

NoahHadNoArk:
I give you one week before you pick up your phone to call her again



This is a SIMPle matter

Call her?

Sequel to this post https://www.nairaland.com/7390349/how-handle-myself-situation

Tho the said girl is a good girl.

But she manipulated me. That was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

I had to let her know this. So she can give me my space.

I am so happy I did

Socratiz:
You need to work on yourself though I doubt if you know how to go about it.

You need to learn how to build self-confidence, assertiveness and boldness. These are the tools of maturity.

At 26 you should be able to face life squarely and be your own man.

I suspect that your low confidence must be as a result of some childhood experiences.

Help yourself first before you pursue a lady.

Get in touch if you need guidance on this.

J

Originalsly:
How is she manipulating you? Seems like you are programmed to believe all women are manipulative so whatever she says or does is seen as manipulative. This is why I asked the question and curious to see what reasonable answer you can give.
From what you wrote.... it looks like her heart is set on you and wants a serious relationship ... willing to marry. She is still upset that you didn't ask her out ... which you should have. For her to later tell you to meet her mom should have been a sign to you that she is very serious. Then she has left her better paying job to take up a job in your company.... a sign that she wants to be close to you regardless of money. How many more signs do you need? The quicker you deprogramme yourself from women are manipulative the quicker your eyes will clear to see the golden opportunity you have.... or had.
But then again .... if you can't figure out this basic stuff... how will you manage in a relationship? Most likely then the real manipulation will begin since she will be the one wearing the pants because you can't figure things out. My advice to you is focus on yourself.... getting out of the shell ... learn what it takes to be a man ... try to understand the nature of women before getting into a relationship.

Hmm. I disagree with this tho.

Slynation:
The only problem I see here is that you are inexperience when it comes to women affairs, fair enough you are still a virgin and seems confused on how to handle situations like this...

No matter the advise you receive here, you will still do that thing that is on your mind because shy guys sees only one available option at there disposal and tends to hold onto that particular option due to the fact they have this feeling there next meal(next lady) is never guaranteed because approaching or communicating with women is an herculean task to overcome....so I rather not waste my time because the first thing you need to do is to suppress your shyness, then we can discuss...

Can you share?

I am really not yet at the level I should be financially, emotionally and physically.

I am very low in confidence right now.

I have never had sex before. Even at 26 years old. And this is a genuine decision(I have had numerous ladies try to tempt me for sex which I didn't oblige to)

Tho I started out talking to girls at 22years. Had one lady I so much loved but we broke up.

At 24 I got attracted to a another so called good girl, christian and church goer. I didn't ask her out because I thought it was the mistake I made with my first girl.

I was friends with her till I observed she's no longer close. I asked her out but she said no.

But still got ever closer, then I lost my job 2020, she became distant


Now here's the issue with this second lady I think because she knows I love her and she has been manipulating me. It's not like she's asking for financial assistance but she's been doing some things that do not make sense.

I asked her out again late last year and what made me ask her out again was when she called me and said I should talk to her mum also when I didn't contact her over a long period of time she said she missed me and a whole lot of other rubbish she did.

That made me ask her out which she declined. She said she really loved my personality and expected that I asked her out when we first met early 2020 but I didn't , She said I only chat her and never say I love her.(that was January this year)

Okay I realised she never loved me, though it was difficult I moved on.

Then she chatted me that a friend of hers need a job. That I should help her if there's any vacancy. I love helping people.

So when there was a vacancy I sent the link to her.

A week later.she called me and told me they didn't give her friend the job. And she herself got the job.

I was surprised by this. Because she has a job that pays better than this job in this my current company and besides she never told me she wanted to quit her job
She resumed here and have started her usual manipulative way of behaving.

How do I handle her. I don't want her to derail me again like she did in the past.

I am never gonna ask her out again she's not the only lady in the world and beside I think she likes me but she doesn't want to date me. Which I have accepted.

I am a very shy guy, I don't have much friends and really low in confidence now financially.

I have not been able to talk to another person.
And it's not even advisable for me to even ask any lady out now.

But I am always thinking about this manipulative girl.

sorority11:
It is simple, I use to have that problem before now I am a very skilled orator.

1. Do not be scared to make blunder. It makes you nervous and causes you to make more blunder.

2. If you have intention of speaking in public, make sure you practice in front of a mirror. Record your voice. You are not actually doing it to practice what to say, rather you are doing so to build confidence.

3. Before you talk, think. Make a picture of what you want to say in points. From those points buttress on that.

4. If you have nothing to say, then keep shut. Most people just want to talk even though they have no tangible things to say. This is what lead to blunder in speech sometimes.

5. At night before you sleep make a review of important conversation you contributed to, and think of ways you would have contributed better, most especially the choice of words to be used.

6. When you make blunders and you notice, move on. Don't try to correct yourself at the time you made the blunder.

7. When others are talking, it is advisable you don't talk, just listen. Listen to what everybody says and then chip in your little contribution. People who listens are often perceived as a good communicator than people who just keep talking; even though the good listener end up saying nothing.

I hope it helps.
It helped me though

I developed a wrong habit... Through a suggestion by people. To participate in football argument in viewing centres.

This has done more harm than good to me

It'd be 27 this year...
I can't speak my local dialect fluently.
I am good at writing English language.
But I am not an articulate speaker of English.

Most times, I make big blunders while I speak.
Which are not intended.
I get lost for words to say while communicating to the extent that I stutter a lot
I am an introvert.

Hey bro,
This woman is wasting ya time. Move there other guy available

DogmaNation:
Did they send u password to these three emails u registered with?

No

DogmaNation:
Even if u deactivate ur email,it has already recorded ur first entry.
Get a new mail n start afresh with it. When u get to the space for ur name eg if ur name is Bello,add an additional o. With this u can register again as a new user. Note,when u login with ur password that will be sent to ur new email,don't forget to make correction to ur name. Eg Belloo will pop up,so lets say ur name is Bello, delete the extra o.
Cheers

I have used 3 different mails

Kaeboy:
Use another device, laptop maybe if you're using phone. Put the file your trying to upload on the laptop. Then do it.

That was what I did to pass through it.

I was advised to unregister my previous email since I could proceed with the application I did it now I have been trying to register with another email and it not going through it's giving me the below error code

Orc13:
Click on "Complete Application" to continue

Please it saying access denied that I should login. But it bring a blank page

Know your health status(std, genotype)

Jamahyel:
a friend collected ndic apl yestday

Na wa oo people just dey collect

Ombudsman1:
E shock you ba. No na 650k. Oga argue with your keyboard abeg.

I no dey argue i go show youvtge APL

Ombudsman1:
A little around 65k. No level

Hmm so you work there and you receive 65k as salary?

xscoffy:
NDE level 8 step 2 should be 59k per month after deductions. Don't allow anyone decieve you. I have a friend who works there. I just asked her about that

Lol, you said you have a friend there very funny. Even if it's true did you think that your so called friend will tell you the actual amount she receives has salary?
I have it on good authority the salary is 125k

Hussen24:
73k

I don't think so it's 125k

Please house when is the application closing?

Cas49:
Congratulations Boss

Which firm?

UCH

Adekunlegold9ja:
he has already told my sponsor that I will get my offer in an agency on Monday. Thank you all for your inputs

YES

So please what's the salary at FEPA urgent help please

VEXT:
Hahaa.. forget him bro

he has already told my sponsor that I will get my offer in an agency on Monday. Thank you all for your inputs

I have communicated with my connect regarding getting a job during Easter. He told me then That I should be patient.
I tried following up on him on Monday he told me I shouldn't bother him that when any job arises he will let me know.

Please is this man ready to help or I should move?

Mulas:
This senator Doguwa make sense...he just dey give ppl work in juicy agencies...just recently (November) he gave out PEF to some candidates

Does it mean FCC COMMISSIONERS are just a few percentage sure in terms of getting a JUICY FED JOB?

CC danqujigy
Tammyanybody

One of the most vulnerable set of people to scam are job seekers. Please beware of scammers.

Please how much is the salary at NABDA

danqujigy:
Your Dad should get in touch with him every two weeks to be on a safer side. But from your own side you can always send him weekly message ( Fridays or Mondays) as the case may be.

Thank you for your response sir. So what should be the content of the message sir

danqujigy:
Sir let someone well known from your state, local government or community give you a recommendation letter to the FCC commissioner or still let him be the one to call the commissioner on your behalf. When they're faced with hundreds of CV they mostly attend to those with recommendation letter from the high profile personalities. A commissioner personally told me this. I am not saying those without recommendation letter won't get some jobs from them but to be on a safer side get a recommendation letter and follow up through calls.

Good afternoon

I submitted my credentials to my connect last week Sunday. He told my dad that I will be considered for the next batch of a position.

When did you think is the best time to do a followup on him.

CC. Tammyabraham
Iyajellili
Nyanogwoshi

Please which biological science related agency is doing replacement giving APL now

bangalee1:
NHIS
University teaching hospitals
Universities
Polytechnics
NAFDAC
NIFMR
NCDC
And so many more

Which of these agencies is giving out APL