₦airaland Forum

mebad:
7 ... Fish can't drown and where will they swim away to in a pond..

you right

pussygotlips:
I give my principal belle

i did the samething...buh mine was my vice principal

Abduletudaye:
I barely remember things...like today, i dont remember what i did in the morning...im just 26.. ....

My boss has told me to do stuff on her behalf many times but i find myself calling her again to ask.

Please help..its making work hard for me..

just back up ur brain...format it...and reinstall everything

Use FUNBACT A (TRIPLE ACTION CREAM.)...apply to ur face morning and Night for 3 to 4 weeks....it works alot for mhe and others....they are seling it 200naira per tube...just buy 3tubes and you will not regret posting this on NL

Use FUNBACT A....apply to ur face morning and Night for 3 to 4 weeks....it works alot for mhe and others....they are seling it 200naira

Use FUNBACT A....apply to ur face morning and Night for 3 to 4 weeks....it works alot for mhe and others....if it doesnt works for u after a month....my friend....may be thats ur kadara

ClassCaptain:
Back to the Topic.

I read a Particular scenario when the GTA Five came out. U no naija guys ....Dem no wan wait buy the Disc at all.

So This Guy saw a Supposed leaked Full download of GTA V on a foreign site. The size was 4g.

the first two days....the download will get to 2g or more.and stop..

So on d 3rd day...he went to the Cafe and spent almost 2 hours downloading the illegal GTA V version.

Only to get home and Open the file to Find 4g worth of Gay Porn with a Laughing smiley and a Rider

" Support the Industry.. Stop piracy and intellectual theft ""..

Now that his God punishing u for your sins

lolzzzzzz....samehing happen tew mhe....i downloaded google chrone and u saw funny porn video...

Most asked question in 2015........ ....................... .................. ............. ........ .... ..
"Light dey house?

Aminat508:

Nawa oo

(1) Prophet Olaniyi Odutayo Prophet Olaniyi Odutayo of the World Prophetic Church, Ikeja, had in the countdown to the March 28, 2015 presidential poll affirmed that God revealed to him that President Goodluck Jonathan would defeat three strong contenders to emerge victorious. Odutayo, who was said to have fasted for 40 days, declared that God revealed to him that although the opposition would win more states in the election, President Goodluck Jonathan would still remain in power till 2019. He said, “During the prayer/fasting, the Lord showed me three men trying to bury Goodluck Jonathan. Each one of them was trying to bury him one after the other, but as they pushed down his head, he rose up again. After the third man pushed down his head, he thought he had prevailed, he was already jubilating but suddenly Goodluck rose up.” (2) Prophet Joseph Oladipupo Prophet Joseph Oladipupo is the shepherd in charge of Faith and Victory Church located in Akure, the Ondo State capital and one of those whose prophecies concerning the 2015 presidential elections never were. According to him, God said Muhammadu Buhari, the major challenger of the then incumbent president, Jonathan, would not win. “The upcoming election will be very tough for the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) but they will win the presidency,” he said. (3) Primate Elijah Ayodele In January, 2013, founder and General Overseer of Inri Evangelical Spiritual Church, Primate Elijah Ayodele, predicted that God showed him Jonathan would continue to rule till 2019. “The 2015 elections will hold but will be peaceful in some areas and not in other areas. As it is, from what I see at the moment, PDP will win, amidst serious criticism,” he said. (4) Apostle Johnson Suleman “With the level of bloodshed I saw, it is better Goodluck goes now to his village quietly. 2015 election is another June 12. The man who truly won will not govern or rule,” was how Apostle Johnson Suleiman put his own. These words of Apostle Johnson Suleman of Auchi- based Omega Fire Ministry implies that Jonathan was favoured to win but after that, violence may consume him. He thus advised that the “divinely favoured candidate quit the race or face the regrettable consequences. (5) Alhaji Musa Ayeni Alhaji Musa Ayeni was the Presidential candidate of the African Peoples Alliance (APA). Like the prophet of old, he had before the election claimed that he had been ordained by God to take over the mantle of leadership from President Jonathan after May 29. The politician told newsmen in Akure, that his decision to join the presidential race was in obedience to divine call from God. “I came into the race because God directed me to contest the election. God told me categorically that I will succeed President Goodluck Jonathan and I believe what God says, hence, my resolve to contest the forthcoming presidential election,” Ayeni, who was former deputy governor in the old Ondo State said. After the election, Ayeni came third after polling 53,537 votes, meaning his self-favoured prophecy never was. (6) Prophet Paul Okikiiesu A Lagos prophet, Paul Okikijesu was not quite clear with his prediction, but said correctly that Buhari might be voted for. He said “If Buhari can surrender his heart to me, he will win the election. Nevertheless despite people’s mandate, they will neither release power to him nor swear him in as the president of the nation. His situation will be similar to Abiola that had people’s mandate, but was not given the chance to rule the country.” It is not known whether the APC candidate “surrendered his heart” to the cleric, but as for now, he has been declared the winner. Others however did not see any glimmer of hope for the APC presidential candidate.

I'm sorry no joke for now....am preparing for xmas ....am preparing for xmas

[MTN is giving out Free Etisalat Credit to all Glo Users on their Airtelline .......Dont miss it]









whatsapp 07039767133 if you need it

07039767133

follow christ

Miriam Gakenia,31, and her fiance James
Mwangi, 27, had gone to buy wedding items
but were injured in a road accident at
Kiangwachi area along Nyeri-Nairobi highway
on Tuesday, December 15.
Their wedding was to take place at Dominion
Towers Deliverance Church today, Saturday
December 19.
Gakenia suffered a right hip joint injury and a
broken right arm while Mwangi’s right hand
was injured.
He had been treated and discharged but she
could neither sit nor stand. The couple
exchanged their vows at Outspan hospital
today, with nurses as her bridesmaids.
“The wedding had to go on. We had prepared
for six months. The devil was not going to get
in the way. She would have become my wife
even if she had lost her legs,” Mwangi
explained.
Gakenia said from her hospital bed: “I informed
my doctor of the wedding and told him we
were not ready to postpone it.”

She said the hospital agreed to hold the
wedding on its grounds. Nurses and matron
Jane Wamucii escorted her to the location on
her bed.
Gakenia and Mwangi had difficulties putting on
their wedding rings as their hands were in
casts but they exchanged their vows in what
Reverend Stephen Mungai described as “a first
in Nyeri”.
It was also difficult for them to sign their
marriage certificate and to share their wedding
cake, but these paled in comparison to the
exchange of vows at the emotional ceremony.
“I have never conducted such a wedding. It
shows far love can go. It is a lesson in sticking
with your vision regardless of hurdles, and
eventually reaching your destination,” the
reverend said.
The couple did not have a photo shoot after
the wedding but was taken to a private room
at the hospital where Mwangi sat by
Gakenia’s bed for hours.
Gakenia, a system administrator at Dedan
Kimathi University of Technology, will remain
at the hospital for six weeks.

Chelsea will make it top4 this season ........


which type of speech is this

Dis year dey fear me oo..
1. PDP of all parties finally lost a presidential
election


2. Super Eagles that usually don't impress
us won the Nation's Cup and CHAN cup.


3. A well know vibrant Comedian from the East
died just like that.


4. Controversial Actress Tonto Dikeh finally got
married.


5. Edo state Governor Adams osheomole went
and married Oyinbo.


6.just examine the position of Chelsea at the group stage.


7. A Whole Chief Dopkesi. C.E.O of African
Idependent Television AIT entered kiri-kiri prison.


8.The most scary one happend yesterday, my
very stingy girlfriend sent me 750 mtn airtime.


Hmmmm. . .
are you sure all dis are not signs of end-time??




Feel free to add urs


#BozzMich

This picture points out graphically how the $2billion arms deal was decentralized, with Dear’s chairman sharing the largest share.

#Hummmmmm

Picture below

#MorinhoMustReturn

[color=#000099][/color]Jose Mourinho has released his first statement following his dismissal as Chelsea manager on Thursday, indicating that he will remain living in London and is not “tired” or looking for a break from football. In the statement, released in conjunction with the CAA agency based in Los Angeles, Mourinho indicated that he is looking forward to returning to work and drew parallels with the success he enjoyed after leaving Chelsea in 2007. Read the statement in full below: “Jose Mourinho is pleased that he returned to Chelsea football club because he was able to give the fans another Premier League title, which they had not won for many years. He is immensely proud of his eight trophies at Chelsea, and thanks the fans for all their support throughout his two spells at the club. “During his career, Jose has sometimes chosen to leave a club, but only at Chelsea has the club decided that he should leave. “Each time represents for him the end of a cycle, and the opportunity to start a new one. José hopes that his future after Chelsea this time will be as successful as when he left the club in 2007. “He will not be taking a sabbatical, he isn’t tired, he doesn’t need it, he is very positive, and is already looking forward. “Because of his love of football, you will see José at football grounds working and supporting friends. He will not be attending any high-profile games because he wants to discourage any speculation about his future. “Jose will remain living in London and hopes he and his family will be given the opportunity to do this privately. “Jose will not speak about his current situation for the foreseeable future. He asks the media to respect this decision.”






#MourinhoMustReturn

say my Granny

may God protect the poster below me

My girl friend is HIV/AIDS positive and we are into relationship not up to a month. Though we have never had any Reproduction. She loves me so much as do i. It has not being confirmed in any of the laboratory that she is HIV/AIDS positive. But a reliable source close to her affirm to me that she is a victim. Yes! I would have Carried out a test for her but if she refuses the test, my relationship with her will be slow. Because i will conclude that she is really HIV/AIDS positive. Actually i don’t want her to feel as being stigmatize if she realizes I know about her predicament and at same time not being close to her as before. Am a health worker, and I have also seen series of HIV/AIDS signs and symptoms on her. Please , I need your solemn advice. (advices..) should I try and conduct a test for her or just quit the relationship? And if am to quit the relationship, how do I convince her? Love y’all.

A Nigerian man , Emmanuel Ngene has spent 6 years inside a South Eastern United States penitentiary. The 56 year old still has 225 years, five months and ten days left to serve for first degree r*pe of his daughter, a crime he continues to deny, supported by members of his network of friends and family. Few years after he was incarcerated, Emma Ngene had partial stroke from the stress of the trial and subsequent imprisonment. Emmanue Ngene, relocated to the USA in 1981.Years after,he returned to his hometown in Eastern Nigeria in search of a wife. He found love in Mary, a home girl. They married months after. Emmanuel became a regular visitor to his homeland from America; frequenting his village to be with his new wife and family. He returned every holiday, especially Christmas, to celebrate with his wife and other members of the family. Their first child, a baby girl, was born on November 9, 1998 in Nigeria. The couple would have two additional children after the birth of their daughter. In June 2007, Emmanuel’s wife and children came to the United States to live in a two- bedroomed apartment with their father. Family and friends said that marital problems manifested when the wife was shocked at the strange standard of living in America as compared to what she was used to in Nigeria. She was also alleged to be disappointed that her husband was a Taxicab driver, an unsteady source of financial income. Emmanuel was gone all day, driving a taxi from morning and returned home at night with not enough income to support the family. Soon, the parents began arguing about money. Mary allegedly complained regularly of being bored at home, caring for the children. Emmanuel, frustrated by her daily musings about life in the United States and insufficient income, encouraged his wife to get certification for CNA: Certified Nurses Aid: she did, pa$$ed and got employed at one of the nursing homes as a care giver: providing ageing American population with daily a$$isted living and care. His wife’s new job, allegedly introduced her to a new social environment. She immediately began to explore her new found friends and friendship within her work place. Emmanuel suspected a change in his wife’s attitudes: she was no longer the charming obedient wife he had in Nigeria. She would refuse his $exual desires and appeals. The marriage became tumultuous. They were drifting apart as husband and wife: Emmanuel complained to his friends that his wife was always gone and seemed no longer interested in the marriage. It also affected his taxi cab business. He often returned home midday to make sure the children were fed and cared for. Most times, he alleged the wife was gone. When he asked her where she had been, she yelled at him: ‘mind your business. I am a grown woman and I can do whatever I want to do.’ Emma was raging inside. He thought he had a decent beautiful wife that loved the family and the children. He thought it was until death do them part! A wife he married and suffered to bring to America. Their children were drifting apart too. The circumstances that led Emmanuel Ngene into a lifetime jail are too complex. The stories are bizarre from both sides. Ngene’s family sources, almost seven years after he was found guilty, still believed he was railroaded by his wife and the judiciary. Their stories remain consistent, each alleging that Ngene’s wife, Mary, may have coerced her daughter to lie that her father r*ped and a$$aulted her. Part of the family version said that during one of Ngene’s lunch visits home to check on the children, he allegedly found his then young daughter in an explicit compromising position with a neighborhood boy, in the family’s living room!. He became agitated, asked the boy to leave immediately. Soon after the boy left, he grabbed his daughter and spanked her intensely. Mother allegedly walked in as dad was spanking their daughter. She jumped on him and began to scratch and scream. Their daughter, disengaged from the whip, cried profusely from the burns of the belt whipping. She had lacerations on her b*tt. Their mother, while restraining Emmanuel, instructed their daughter to dial 911. Few minutes later, police came to their door, handcuffed Emmanuel and took him down town. The police officer, noticing the lacerations on the girl’s body, requested for the ambulance to take the young girl and her mother to hospital for medical observations and interrogation. Emmanuel was hauled to jail! However, in a court document filed, the court posited, “One day in August 2007, defendant asked Cindy(to protect the minor child, the court identified her as Cindy, not her real name) to help him check his email on the computer in his bedroom. After they had finished with the email, defendant told Cindy to stay in the room while he went into the bathroom. He came out wearing only his underwear and a T-shirt. He asked her if she knew what $ex was and then pulled down her pants while she was lying on the bed. He pulled off his underwear, got on top of her, and had vaginal intercourse with her. On 31 August 2008, Cindy’s mother took Cindy to the emergency room at Wake Med where they met with a nurse, Kimberly Lewis, and a doctor, Dr. Chris Johnson. Ms. Lewis did a head-to-toe a$$essment of Cindy and observed bruises on her arms. Cindy told her the bruises came from a broomstick. Cindy also informed Ms. Lewis that she had been $exually a$$aulted many times. “Dr. Johnson took a basic history and examined Cindy to determine if she needed immediate treatment. Cindy told him that defendant had been having vaginal and anal intercourse with her over the past year. Because she had not been a$$aulted within the past 72 hours, Dr. Johnson did not perform a r*pe kit. Dr. Johnson’s examination of Cindy was limited to her external Instruments and looking for signs of trauma, of which he saw none. He diagnosed Cindy with alleged $exual abuse. He noticed that Cindy appeared somewhat shy and that her mother was “appropriately concerned and worried.” The hospital notified Wake County Human Services (“WCHS”) and the Raleigh Police Department (“RPD”) of the allegations. Katie Treadway of WCHS and Officer Harvey of RPD arrived at the hospital to interview Cindy. After describing the $exual conduct, Cindy also informed them that one time she bled after defendant had $ex with her. She also stated that sometimes defendant “peed on her,” and she had to go in the bathroom to clean herself up. Ms. Treadway felt Cindy was very detailed in her description of the events. Over the course of Cindy’s fourth grade school year, defendant engaged in vaginal intercourse with Cindy approximately 10 times. Approximately three of these times, defendant had her turn over on her stomach so he could also penetrate her anus. In August 2008, Cindy finally disclosed to her mother what defendant was doing. At the hospital, the doctors during examination found that she had been penetrated. The police officer asked her who may have penetrated her; she looked at her mother, seeking protection. Her mother instructed her to answer that it was her father! She reluctantly told the officer that her father had penetrated her! The officer asked if she was sure, she bowed and fearfully said yes sir!” However, Emmanuel Ngene denied the r*pe charges and penetration of his daughter. He contended that her daughter was $exually molested and penetrated by a boy at her school in Nigeria, the head mistress of the daughter’s school called him when the incident happened and he travelled home to remove his daughter from the school because of the molestation. Emmanuel remained in the county jail as prosecutors began to build a case against him. The prosecutor offered him a deal: Plead guilty and spend 15 years in jail or go to trial and if found guilty, could face 250 years to life. He refused the deal and sought to be tried because it was an abomination, in his culture, for a man to $exually molest his own daughter and penetrate her. He felt his innocence and said that he would rather die in jail than plead guilty to a crime he did not commit. It took one year for Emmanuel to go to trial. It only took the jury three hours to return with a guilty verdict. Emmanuel was sentenced to 300 to 369 years in prison. On December 3, 2009, Emmanuel Ngene began serving his sentence. He was preparing to travel to Nigeria to bury his mother when he was arrested. I recently contacted Ms. Mary Ngene for interview with regards to this essay. Her response:” If you write anything about me, I will sue you!”

The Senior Staff Association of Nigerian Universities (SSANU) has threatened to shut down all universities in the country over a directive by the Federal Government for universities to retrench workers of University Staff Schools. The National President of the association, Mr Samson Ugwoke made the plan known at a news conference in Abuja on Friday.


He said that failure by the government to honour the agreement between it and SSANU on the schools would compel the association to declare an indefinite strike “SSANU wishes to notify the Federal Government of our intention to resume our national industrial action on rejection of the directive to Vice- Chancellors of Federal Universities, by the National Salaries, income and wages Commission to retrench over 2,000 workers. “This set of people has been employed by the universities councils for upward of decades and productively contributing their quotas to the development of the Nigerian education system, “ he said. He said that the directive to retrench the workers emanated from a circular written on behalf of the minister of Education. According to him, the implication of this directive is that this category of workers from over 30 universities will be thrown into the unemployment market. Ugwoke said that University Staff Schools were an integral part of the university system, established as welfare and municipal services for scholars and staff. He said the children of university workers should have access to subsidised elementary education and that education should be considered a matter of right and not favour. Ugwoke said that the implementation of such directive would be a gross violation and breach of the 2009 agreement between the association and government. According to him, the agreement is that the university shall bear full capital and recurrent cost of University Staff Primary schools. “Having engaged the government in prolonged negotiations which culminated in the signing of the 2009 agreement, we hereby declare that we will defend the sanctity of every part of that agreement, “ he said. The association president said that if the motive was to curb wastage in governance, then government should beam its searchlight on other areas of the sector. Ugwoke said although it was the desire of the association that industrial peace be maintained in the universities, such situation should not be at the cost of its members.

subterfuge:
BETTER DON'T CELEBRATE NOW. BECAUSE AKPABIO HAS ENOUGH CASH TO BRIBE EVEN ALL THE APC MEMBERS IN BOTH AKWA IBOM STATE AND THE AKWA IBOM STATE APC MEMBERS ALL ARROUND THE WORLD..
REMEMBER THAT AKPABIO LIVES PERMANENTLY IN THE PRESIDENTIAL WING OF THE SAME AKWA IBOM GOVERNMENT HOUSE, WHILE GOVERNOR UDOM EMMANUEL LIVES IN THE GOVERNORS WING. REMEMBER THAT AKPABIO HAS SOME ROOMS FILLED WITH RAW BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.. SO TRUST AKPABIO, DOLLARS WILL FLOW CEASELESSLY LIKE WATER DURING THE RE-RUN OF THE GOVERNORSHIP ELECTIONS.

mtchew

The Eaglets recently won the fifth U-17 World Cup in Chile last month. The current administration of President Muhammadu Buhari has warned that next year will be rough for the country because of the poor economy and has moved to cut back drastically on government spendings. It would therefore be seen as double standards if the government now splashes a fortune on the schoolboy stars. “The proposal has been reviewed after the first rejection. We wait for the green light from the presidency on the date for the reception and the reward,” a sports ministry official disclosed. A new N150,000 per player proposal has been put forward by the ministry.


#SMH

Front page please, let the world here about it

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10th December 2015,

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE V.C OF THE LAGOS STATE UNIVERSITY:
PROF. FIDELIS OLISAMEDUA NJOKANMA

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The principle of writing this letter is just to show our cynical mind to you, particularly we aspirants that did not choose LASU as 1st choice in jamb 2015 but obtained the Post Jamb form just because they invited us.

Education in Nigeria has twisted to another thing entirely, nowadays if you don’t have long leg (connection) seriously you should forget about admission, is that how it supposed to be? So the poor can no more secure admission again??

I remember vibrantly me like an applicant, when the post UTME form of the Lagos State University was out, it was affirmed that “Also aspirants that did not choose LASU as their most preferable institution in Jamb 2015 can also obtained the form”. Despite the fact that Prof. Fidelis Olisamedua Njokanma wasn’t the acting VC then but I assume He should have been told of every actions and activities taking by the former VC.

Since they know they won’t grant us admission, why did they invite us? Why did they just waste our time? Our money? To renovate senate building or celebrate the depart of the former VC?? Did they just wasted Our brain? Our energy, even our opportunity of gaining admission into another institution? The institution just turned us down and put our mind in an incredulous mood without any update about us, and is that how it supposed to be?
Me like an aspirant I choose The Federal University Oye Ekiti (FUOYE) as my 1st choice in Jamb, But when LASU released their POST UTME form, I saw it as an additional opportunity to secure admission this year, because it was stated that candidates that didn’t choose them in jamb can also obtained the form, but later when (FUOYE) post UTME form was out, the date of their post UTME exam was the same date I was having exam in LASU, regrettably for me , I wasn’t be able to partake in their exam, thinking LASU will offered me admission, after passing the POST UTME? Up till now NO admission is given yet, is that fair?? If I know that, that’s how things will turned to; will I worry my self to obtain the form? Talk less of writing the exam?

I can also remember the girl that scored Highest among us, she scored 90+, but just because she did not choose the in Jamb, still No Admission Yet, where students that scored 40, 38, 34, even 23 and has been offered admission because they choose the institution.

We don’t even know whether it was the second batch that was released or not, we just heard people saying they have been admitted without seeing any update from the school site about any second batch and without any update about aspirants that did not choose the school.


But why? Have we not got enough potentials to be among the elites which are supposed to be admitted? After passing the Post UTME and beating the cut off Mark? Or have we however slighted the school authority?? Or we have offended our creator? Or what?


Even the first batch list itself took almost a perdition-time, to be released leaving all aspirants in commotions while many have been duped already from false admission agents.

Some assumed that they are thinking that we could have been granted admission to our 1st choice university, is that so?? Not at all; I can say it fittingly, many aspirants that did not choose LASU as their 1st choice haven’t secured admission yet into other institution.

So we are using this medium to beg you for God sake, please consider us, we cant afford writing another jamb next year, which can still not guarantee our admission, our 250, 230, 210, 180 and above can’t just be a squander, Is it that LASU doesn't cherish and appreciate hard work or what? Please we need to know! And besides, why information about 2nd batch wasn’t updated on the school site?
Moreover, everyday we hear different rumours and speculations concerning the list and all this has caused a lot of irate minds and heart, while many aspirants have been duped, But why?
And for Goodness sake, this is December 2015, how can we be happy during Christmas and New year ?? while we haven’t gained admission Yet?? We wrote the post UTME since August while Jamb Deadline of admission stuffs was October 31st , and in the school calendar it was stated that screen starts on Nov. 30 still many aspirants are still yet to be admitted, But Why??
In conclusion, On behalf of all aspirants (principally those that did not choose LASU in Jamb I’m using this pleasant medium to plead to this great institution, I say; please try and consider us, try and release this list which will include our names for God sake, we have done all possible best we can do and right now we don't think we deserve any awful outcome.



Thanks!


Mich


For
#LASU-ASPIRANTS

If God doesnt punish this US people that means he has an apology for Sodom and Gomora