₦airaland Forum

IamiKayJayCee:
Oh, cyberspace might not be so real, but all these things still exist to a certain degree. Shame and disgrace exist here, even though it's not real life----that's why some people deactivate after one scandal or the other. Some people exhibit shyness here----that's why they create new monikers when they want to beg or post something they consider embarrassing.

So, who says courage doesn't exist on social media? The comments here affects the FEELINGS of certain people, that's why people get reported to the mods when insults become unbearable. So, even though it's not that real, commending some people for being courageous or, in some cases having a "thick skin" isn't as ridiculous as you're implying.

And even if they don't have those qualities in real life, I suppose the entire point is judging people based on their character HERE. You call people "stupid" on nairaland, don't you? But you make that judgement BASED ON THEIR COMMENT. I don't think you ever consider whether they're stupid in "real life" or not.

I've seen enough here to know most nairalanders don't feel shame.

I really don't want to press this point because the thread might become a breeding ground for trolling.

Mindfulness:
That's the problem you have with self-love? You think it makes people lazy and stops them from loving others? How did you even come to such conclusions? Who taught you this unhealthy belief?

i believe it makes people become narcissists. As for who taught me this belief, I've seen enough to make me arrive at this belief.

No! If Mandela had not loved himself, he would not have had the confidence and strength to pull through. As a matter of fact, he was able to endure 27 years in his own company. Could a person who hates himself do it?

Nope. The strength to pull through came from what he believed in. From what he was fighting for. Loving himself had nothing to do with it.

Even prisoners on death row endure and enjoy their own company. That's what people in prison do. So don't get it twisted.

A man who doesn't love himself, cannot love others. Even your Bible tells you to love 'your neighbor as yourself'. This, my dear, is a very wise piece of advice.

Love your neighbour as yourself. Not love yourself to the point of being selfish.

Now let us talk about our respective definitions of selfishness. For me selfishness is not to love myself and forget about others, it is about me loving myself so much that my love can spill over onto others. Saying that self-love prevents you from loving others is like saying that making money stops you from sharing it with others. If you are poor, you have not much to share. If you hate yourself, you have no love to give. If you are sad, you cannot give happiness. If you are fearful, you cannot make anyone confident. It's that simple.

Now I believe our respective definition of 'selfishness' defer. For me I tend to go with how the dictionary define selfishness. Like I once said, don't confuse selflessness with selfishness. I believe that's what you just did.

makydebbie:
I should not love myself since I'm not an orphan and I've got parents who love me. That's cool.

Lol, who's talking about narcissism?
So you're going to use my age to judge my comments? Lol, issoraite.

Now we're getting somewhere.

I'm not saying self love is bad, I'm saying too much of it is bad. That my dear is what the OP is about. I even mentioned it here, she loves herself so much to the point of having issues with her boyfriend and not even bothering to even talk things out with him. Like she can't be bothered, she loves herself so much not to give a damn. She hates confrontation. That's what I was trying to point out.

My dear, too much of everything is bad. When one go about screaming about self love, it gets to ones head. Hubris, selfishness and greed comes in.

I love you that's why I replied your mention, now if I love myself too much why should I be bothered about replying your mention?

Hope you get my drift, babe?

shaybebaby:
Maslow has been successfully critiqued. Next!

By who? I sure know it's not you.

Living in a society where free thought isnt limited and progressive thinking encouraged speaks for itself. It's development compared to..

Yep, that's why you marry your dogs, fvck yourselves and accept stolen money from us. (I'm sure you know it's a crime to accept stolen money in your country?)

Free thought my ass! You guys are thieves.

makydebbie:
You're not making sense here, if I'm an orphan nko? I should hate myself. Do you its self love that drive people to greatness? Telling me I shouldn't love myself because I've got parents who will do it for me sounds well to you?

Are you an orphan?

Not to this extent, this shouldn't even be an argument. It's disappointing.

disappointing?

There comes a time in the life of a man when he knows it is not all about him anymore..

You're still young, so I don't expect you to understand.

Mindfulness:
No, it is not. You have to love yourself to have the self-esteem and self-confidence they had. Up till this day we admire Mandela's demeanor and the way he carried himself, the way he walked and talked. I am sure he loved himself and as a consequence loved his people. If he hated himself, white people would have made him believe that he was inferior but he knew this wasn't right and he knew it so strongly because he loved himself.

simply put, if Mandela loved himself he wouldn't have done all what he did. He'd have relaxed and watch his fellows murdered.

Never forget, only a man who love his people will sit in jail for 27 years. You and I know a selfish person will never do that.

handsam:
What's Bush trying too hard to do, Ginaz?

Is she ginaz?

makydebbie:
Self love is having love for oneself. Are you telling me that I shouldn't love myself? If I don't love myself, who'll?

I believe your parents will. As well as your brothers and sisters.

Self-esteem is having confidence in your self worth. You know my stand on feminism, but this part of you saying self-love is bullshit sounds silly to me.

everything I say mustn't sound intelligent to you. This you fail to understand, like must we always agree.

DrinkLimca:
lol i meant, nairaland was made possible by seunn and seunn was made possible by a dick that dug a possy...
all thanks to the dick.

I know what you meant.

IamiKayJayCee:
Thanks for the compliment. I like your spirit and courage too. Never give in to their cheap blackmails.

spirit and courage? On social media? So people show spirit and have courage on social media? Wow. Me likey!!! Me likey likeyy!!!!

Mindfulness:
Mandela was fighting for his convictions. Ghandi was fighting for his convictions too. They had a sense of self from which they were operating. In fact, they would not be the celebrated heroes they are today if they didn't have a strong sense of self. They knew who they were and what they stood for. There is no self-less-ness because we all perceive the world from the eyes of SELF. Ghandi was an Indian so he fought for India's independence, not for Nigeria's independence. His sense of self as being Indian made him do so. Same for Mandela. They were selfish enough to understand that they were RIGHT in what they were doing, no matter what the then existing system (of oppression) wanted them to believe.

Madam, sense of self is way, like very different from self love. Please don't twist it. I take God name beg you.

makydebbie:
AH CB.

Without self love you think you'll have self esteem?
Self love is very important biko, no one can tell me otherwise.

Tessygirl, forget it jare. Is it worth it? Especially on NL?

What is self love and what is self esteem?

trustyshoess:
Same person that kept talking about how much respect you have for women, yet you spew the same old BS that has kept women down for years. Smh

his BS didn't keep women down for years, I'll have you know. If at all women are down, I believe they kept themselves there.

trustyshoess:
Look outward? Attitude?
Why do you keep dragging my ex into It? Oh because I discussed it with you? Smh
It's all good tho. I'm not here to argue with anyone.

Em, this is the first time I mentioned your ex. You saying the bolded is a pointer you have me confuse with someone else.

trustyshoess:
Exactly! But evidently, people like A.HCB think that self love is a problem. I'm just too baffled by the ridiculousness to even respond anymore

No offence, this attitude of yours is why you broke up with your ex. You should learn to look outward my dear.

Mindfulness:
Selflessness does not exist. Oh, maybe in fairy tales, not in real life. We are ALL selfishly oriented whether we admit it or not.

It does. You're too blind to see it. I'm sure you don't know people like Mahatma Ghandi and Nelson Mandela.

If you're selfish and proud of it, don't go generalising and thinking the whole world is as selfish as you, okay?

Mindfulness:
[s]There is nothing more important than self-love.[/s] Nothing!

SMH.

HungerBAD:
Hungry girl.

Videos like this should be encouraged to be loaded up in the public sphere, so that guys like me, looking for responsible women should not end up with her types.

She is a total embarrassment to everything a decent lady stands for. 100k?is she serious?for 100k you have let the World know your kind of business,and also peep your body.

When I picked my name Hungerbad, I was not joking. See what hunger and poverty has caused.

Lalasticlacla Mynd44 come let us show her to her future husband.

Frankly bro, I don't think she gives a flying shy about all that. Rather than blame the girl, blame the system.

You'd be surprise the same man who gave this girl 100K for one night pay the people who make his money for him less than 20K a month.

So, stop raining insult on the young lady, she worked hard for her money, you know. So please treat her right. Lol

Jupxter:
You're hilarious.

I'm me. Lol

Jupxter:
I believe you, they'll need anti-depressants when the time comes.

I believe they'll need more than that. See it this way, after Eve deceived Adam and gave him the apple to eat, God came, punished Adam (very well I might add) Adam still consoled Eve's treachery with his erect penis_. Thus, a good hard fuck_ is the only remedy this girls/women truly need.

Jupxter:
It is just like those chronic masturbators. They spend all their time fvcking themselves they totally don't know what it means to fvck another... Like how can they truly know the joy of fvcking a girl when they spend all their time fvcking themselves grin cheesy

This is absolutely hilarious. You cracked me up with this one. Anyways, love is internalized and then externalized. Self-love is just a faulty logic, when ever we come up with new dogmas, i tell myself it's a hoax

Love is encompassing. It is holistic, it is everything. Self love is the new found song sung by estranged girls/women who truly wish to see themselves at the helm of affair of the world. Alas, it only but a vivid dream.

shaybebaby:
Thereby leaving the definition of your worth in the hands of another?
Only those without a sense of self, autonomy and will to self-actualize reason like you do. Loving oneself is holding onself accountable and not being subject to the whims and caprices of others. It is about taking ownership.

What does 'worth' have to do with 'love'?.

Frankly miss, you're confuse. I believe living in a society where men and women are allowed to marry their dogs have actually made your thinking faculty skewed.

Self actualization really doesn't come close to the garbage you typed up there. I believe if Maslow had met you and read what you wrote, he'd have suppressed a grin just to save you the joy of embarrassing yourself.

Sense of self, autonomy and will, bloody good. I bet Abraham Maslow had all of this when he propounded his hierarchy of needs.

Jupxter:
That's what they don't know. Self love hinges around self-centerdness and selfishness, this isn't love atall

How can they know. Dude, if you take a look at the set of humans who scream about this self love of a thing, you'll get to understand why they really scream about self love. Many of them don't even know what it means to love another person. Then again, how can they love another person when they're busy loving themselves

It is just like those chronic masturbators. They spend all their time fvcking themselves they totally don't know what it means to fvck another... Like how can they truly know the joy of fvcking a girl when they spend all their time fvcking themselves

shaybebaby:
Only needy, co-dependent, low self-esteemed people find the need for loving oneself irrelevant.

How can you be worthy of the love of another if you don't love yourself. If you feel you are not worth it, then you are not.

There's something called 'selflessness', I'll have you know. You can be worthy of another only if you truly love that person. Remember, true love isn't selfish, it is selfless.

Only greedy, self righteous, hypocritical cretins with bitter life experience scream about self love.

SecondEva:
how come you are yet to update people here?

Ghen Ghen. action film wan start. Lol

Lawlahdey:
Only in the other room.

LOL.

Lawlahdey:
Iyamm telling you.

Hian. Oya I for like make you show me oh?

Lawlahdey:
Exactly. Even one breast is bigger than the other.

Shuoooo! . Chai! How come I haven't notice this? Ye kpa.

trustyshoess:
I was waiting for someone to point that out. It seems like the joke went over your head. It was meant to be funny so lighten up.

Then again, you forget, what's funny to one might be offensive to another, so there goes your attempt at dark humour... down the drain.

trustyshoess:
It's not impossible to achieve. Humans just need to get off their high horse and realise that we're all humans and so should have an equal level of respect and opportunities.
When you say some men are not equal, in what sense?

This same reason is why your thoughts/feeling can never be a reality is the same reason why Islam frown against other religion.

When you start wishing for people to think and believe in what you believe, you invariably make yourself no different from Idi Amin Dada. Without guns and murder, that is.

As regard the bolded. All men aren't equal in every sense of the word. E.G, I and seun aren't gifted with the same intelligence, neither are we gifted with the same finance, level of tolerance etc.

Even you, who live in the U.K, if you and Azizat Oshoala write a letter to visit Theresa May, who do you think the Prime Minister would see first, you or Azizat?