₦airaland Forum

@bankyiie

Hmmm,  This topic is a volatile one but i will say my bit.
1st - I strongly believe that irrespective of behaviour, financial and social status of the husbands, wives SHOULD totally submit to their husbands.
It might sound old fashioned but that is the secret of the success of marriages in the older days. Today a wife will leave the house for a party and the
husband is not aware, it is wrong. Without being biblical or over traditional i beleive that the head of the family is the man and he should be accorded all the respect and total submission.

2nd- I also know for a fact that the moment a woman submits totally to her husband she earns his respect a 100% and also wins his heart

3rd - Men should learn not to take their wife's submission as a sign of stupidity or weakness but as a recognition of their position as the head f the family and they should strive to ensure three things basically.
- Provide for the needs of their family
- Love and respect their wives
- Ensure that they preserve the marriage at all costs .


I hope i have spoken well

You have spoken very well. And I say this as a so-called western woman.

For many women the word "submission" may have a negative sound.
As well as submission before an enemy with a capitulation. However, this is wrong.
It isn't in such a way that I must lie in front of my man on knees and kiss his feet.
Nevertheless, it means only to recognize and to respect the man as head of the family
and to help him where ever it is necessary, so that he can also fulfil his part.
If I respect my man and appreciate and make to him the life so pleasantly as possible,
I am not unemancipated. And if this means that I must bring him the breakfast to the bed,
or must massage his tired feet, or whatever to make him happy, why not?
It is a nice feeling and I am proud that I am the woman who can make my man happy.
And believe me, I get it back 1000-fold. Because for it my husband loves me and
treats me like a queen. He appreciates my mind and thinks highly of my opinion, in all interests.

It is all about giving and taking. As it shouts in the wood, it resounds out, we say here.

It is important to be completely open and honest with each other before the marriage 
what concern the respective expectations by a marriage. This saves a lot of disappointments.

Besides, noted, I am no "only housewife" but self-employed and call a small company my own.

Still as last: The majority of "western woman" thinks like me. However,
headlines make only the negative examples.

@beaf

Well spoken!

@edoyad


Good question. I have never experienced this. 
It means translated "you have already too often downloadet this file".
It is strange.
Maybe the interest was too big and you weren't the only one. But no that I can't fancy.
Sorry, but I have no explanation of it.
Maybe you try it later once again.
I can send you the file also by mail if you want.

@londoner

thank you!

Maybe I have expressed myself a little bit clumsily.
I just want to say that it is impossible to quieten the voices of 150 million people.
If these are, nevertheless, only a few, the past has shown often enough how was reacted to it.

@edoyad

Well, I am mostly in the background and observe first of all the things, before I say something.  
Of course I have noticed, that something is happen in Nigeria. It seems as you have awoken from a long lethargy.
I am really glad very much about it and hope that this still small snowball will grow to a gigantic avalanche.
Uups, a funny sentence for Nigeria. LOL, but you will know what I mean.

And yes, I have already written the article and not only this. Because of the fact, that the publisher was interested
to give an understanding of Nigeria to his readers he asked me to write more.
And, finally, a 18-sided pamphlet originated about Nigeria and the people. I must confess, I don't handle with the Nigerian leaders in politics and economy very softly. I just always say what is my mind. However, even more warmly and sometimes also more jocularly are the articles about the people in Nigeria, their culture, their peculiarities. Briefly, I have described Nigeria and its people as I see them.

Here of course the pamphlet is written in German, but there is also an issue in English language. If you like to read it, you find it as a PDF to download on my MySpace side (my side is bilingual in German and in English). There I have posted a blog with the heading "Nigeria, bad luck and evil"?  
You find the link to the website on my profile.

This reminds me of the Monday demonstrations of Leipzig / Germany more than 20 years ago when the people of the GDR rebelled against the regime and the Soviet embrace and went out into the streets for his freedom and human rights, in spite of the possible consequences.
At the end it reached the reunion of Germany after more than 40 years of separation.

How the history has taught us several times, everything is accessible if only the people stand together unanimously and fight together for their ideals. I wish from the bottom of my soul that the people in Nigeria recognise this, overcome their religious and ethnic conflicts and fight closed, side by side, for better Nigeria.
I know that this won't be easy, because it means tolerance, trust, forbearance, unselfishness, to forgive and to forget what was once.
However, are not this exactly the manners which put out a good Christian or good Muslim? Aren't exactly these qualities which are preached by the priests, pastors and imams day daily in the churches and mosques? Is there a bigger common denominator? Certainly not. Is Nigeria's future, the future of your children, not worth these efforts?

I also wish that the Nigerian government and her executive organs, react with the same sensitivity, the same instinct, as the Soviets and the governing of the GDR did it at that time. And that they recognise the fact that their time have run out and make the way free for a new beginning without protest.

But maybe I wish too much? I hope not.

Hello @ all.
This has become a really interesting thread. I have partly laughed a lot.

As a German I can only say that it isn't to be answered clearly with yes or no and depends on the circumstances.
For a woman who isn't employed but looks after household and children, it should be natural to wash the clothes of her man.
If she is employed, like her husband, the housework should be divided and then it isn't only women work, to wash the clothes.
If the woman works only halftime, it is also natural that the woman washes the clothes. Why not?
Besides, noted a partnership or marriage, is a cooperation, giving and taking, and both parties should estimate the work of the other.

[img]http://www.nigeria-forum.de/images_green/smilies/lof.gif[/img]A blest, happy, successful and above all peaceful new 2010
for everybody here on nairaland where also you may be.
May all your wishes and dreams come true.

Very Happy New Year from Germany! [img]http://www.nigeria-forum.de/images_green/smilies/party.gif[/img]

Hey @ all
I shouldn't probably interfere, however, the people of Nigeria have really
earned the better. It makes me only sad and partial also furious to see how do you this
injustice allow to go out about you without resistance. I mean hey, you are 150 millions.
150 million people can't be silenced. Together you are strong. But exactly this is probably
the problem. You are no united people. Everybody cooks his own little soup and nobody thinks
on the whole and cheers all. Is this really so difficult?, I ask you. Nevertheless, you must
have learnt from your history. No one is better or worse than the other.
We are born everybody unclothed and we leave all earth with nothing.
Right now I ask you quite directly.
How do you wish the future of Nigeria?
How should it looks?
And what are you ready to act for it?
I appeal here to everybody, no matter whether
Muslim or Christian, whether Yoruba Hausa, Igbo or all the others.
I would like to bet, you have in common a lot.
Or should I really wander?
I would really like to know with pleasure how do you think about that.
And not because of curiosity but because of interest in your country and the people.

Maybe I think too much in German, however if I read many posts here in the forum,
or discusse with my Nigerian friends, then I can hear the big discontent.
Everybody knows about the mismanagement and knows the cause,
but nobody would like to change really something in it.

@omamokta and oluchi o

Unfortunately, hope and prayers aren't enough, sometimes.
God helps those which help themselves.

@maxandy

Very appropriately marked, bravo!.
And how must the answer be to it?

I have understood you quite properly, no worry. As ironically my answer was meant.
I know that it isn't easy to cause a change. But nothing is impossible.

@beaf, Mariory and OAM4J

Well, your comments are very informative.
Thanks a lot.

@bidemi12

Well, if this is the freedom which you wish for Nigeria, please, it would be granted to you.
What is, however, with all the others, wich don't have the money to pay for their freedom?

Hello to all nairalanders.
I am from Germany and write since long article for an African magazine with the name "LoNam". Recently the publisher of the magazine asked me to write an article about Nigeria. Because I take up with pleasure political subjects, my article is called "Re-branding Nigeria ", Is it possible?, What must be done? A segment of this report is called "Real democracy means, " And it fits, I believe, quite well in this thread. But read yourself.

"Real democracy means,
A real democracy assumes the observance of the fundamental rights. The most important ones are:. *Protection of the human dignity *Free development of the personality, freedom of the person, right on life, right on physical intactnes *General personal right, right on informationelle self-determination (data security), guarantee of the confidentiality and integrity of technical information systems *Equality clause, equal rights *Religious freedom and freedom of conscience  *Freedom of opinion, freedom of information, freedom of the press,  as well as the freedom of the art and the science *Protection of marriage and family *Right of school choice, of granting and participation in the religious lessons, to the establishment of private school *Freedom of assembly *Union freedom *Inviolability of the flat or house *Property rights *Ban of deprivation of citizenship and delivery *Resistance right *Electoral law *Ban of extraordinary courts  *Right of a legal judge *Claim to due process of law.

Real democracy means „rule of the people“. All power and decision-making power lies only with the people. Real democracy is only possible if the people stand together in unity and realise that that it must take the responsibility in own hand because it is the real and true sovereign of the state alone. The governing and leading have to decide and to act exclusively to the cheers of their people. A true democracy assumes that the people each other recognise everybody as absolutely equivalent and realise that every person has to carry out his own assignments after the best forces in the service and to cheers all. Besides, the virtues of the manhood like true internal peace, respect for the life, tolerance, quality, patience, love and charity are extremely helpful.

Hence, the way out can only be, to make room in the uppermost squads, in the politics as well as in the economy. To make room for fresh blood, for people with values and ideals, without old costs and cliques in the luggage, without nepotism and without liabilities to whom or whatever towards, except towards the Nigerian nation; people who still have dreams, dreams of a glorious Nigeria to cheers for all citizens.

The way out can only be, a Nigerian nation which firmly stands together which meets itself with love, respect and tolerance, no matter of which disposition or religion and strives together to make Nigeria to that, what Nigeria should be. The most shiny star in the African sky and maybe even more.

Sure is the mismanagement which has developed more than nearly 50 years there to remove not overnight, however, a good beginning for it are the coming elections. With a fair and open election campaign in the approach with which freedom of speech and freedom of the press of every singles are respected and protected, free and fair elections, and the recognition of the election result in democratic manner, Nigeria has the best possibilities for a change,  in its own hands. Let us pray that the nation recognises this big chance and also uses it."