₦airaland Forum

You guys took a right decision and I hope you have a successful marriage. This should be encouraged especially with the high rate of sexual promiscuity.

I just hope someone could learn from this post as regard male introvert relations with girls.

This my experience. I remember the moment I confessed to my elder sister that I can't talk to girls and her reaction was that it was as a result of my unwillingness to associate with people or make friends. That was my problem some years ago.

I realized that my inability or unwillingness to talk to girls was as a result of lack of confidence. The thought of not being good enough did not develop suddenly, it was because of an ugly abusive experience I had a girl while I was still little and that experience followed me to the university.

The urge to change my relations with girls came in several ways and most were influenced by classroom scenarios. I do have some regrets in terms of missed opportunity but I am looking to make the present better.

The important decision I have taken is to realize that I have a problem that I must solve which I bet others could easily relate with. Some people could easily evade it but from my own experience, it is quite impossible to live comfortably without talking to girls. I had only two options, either to like them or hate them and I chose the former.

I did some adjustments and became more confident with myself. Talking to girls has become somewhat easier and that is because I learnt to grow comfortable with talking to them. I am quite picky though as I relate with any who has a good disposition. I try to also exchange greetings with those who live around me. The most important thing to know is that girls want to talk especially with those they are attracted to.

I wish everyone a happy Easter and a beautiful month.

We live in a crazy world. We just have to be careful with the way we expose our kids especially on the internet though her cutting off contact with the guy who commented is not the best decision especially if it is just based on this issue alone.

Congrats to her... the birth of a baby is indeed a tasking and beautiful experience.

Faceville:
I dey imagine say my wife dey hammer another nigga for my house and people knows about it. So set will mind their biz Abi.

You probably know the history of their relationship? What if the wife is aware that the man cheats? My own thought is that you might just cause a situation that may affect you in a wrong way. I hate cheating hence would not encourage it. Also, you can hope better for yourself, a faithful man does not deserve a cheater for a wife.

Really, it's best you stay out of their business.

Four years ago, I found myself in a church whose name I have forgotten at the moment. I went with some people my friend had introduced to me and we arrived during the bible study. The leader was the pastor’s wife who was talking on what makes marriage a success. She harps on the issue of sex which has obviously become a popular subject as a result of the high rate of cheating and unfaithful marriage partners in the society today. Her major contention was the issue of sexual satisfaction and at a point she recommended that those who are unable to satisfy their wife or husband should buy some pornographic videos. I was shocked hearing this from the wife of a pastor.

Pornography is no sex education material and my main contention is the fact that:
1 Nowhere in the Bible is the sexual act described as depicted in pornographic videos.

2 It encourages fornication and adultery. Ladies and men who shoot sex videos are mostly strangers to themselves (not couples) and it is quite instructive that many do it for monetary reasons.

3 There is no recognizable template for good sex. I understand sex as an act that gives pleasure to a married couple and honour to our bodies as temple of God.

I have reflected on this particular message as a case of false teaching and it is obviously a saddening occurrence as many “gullible” Christians may implement this thought. For emphasis sake, let’s remember this warning from Jude 1:3 and 4:

Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt compelled to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to God’s holy people. For certain individuals whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped among you.

The golden warning is watch and pray. I believe others may have similar experiences they want to share so as to help our souls and minds from being corrupted by false teachings.

GloryIsaac:
Anyone willing to attempt this?
https://introvertdear.com/write-for-us/

Bro, how are you? I just checked it out, it is quite interesting. Do you write?

Something good coming from the man who has been rightly criticized by segment of the society. Education is still the best legacy and at least, this Doctor will be empowered to proceed without any fear or regret.

adamsbadoo:
i saw a very cute girl passing my street today..
my friend even pushed me to go and meet her, he called her and she waited.
and he tld me to go and meet her.
,buh i wasn't bold enough to approach her


i felt embarrassed
which kind life be this??

What do you think when you see a "cute" girl? If every girl is your choice for a relationship, then you should check yourself but if you have a knowledge of what you want from a girl, then I think you will likely get over this anxiety. Free yourself from all sort of pressure by knowing the girl you should go for and not what society or environment may inspire in you.

This is crazily hilarious. It is weird at the same time but it is a fantastic truth. Someone who has multiple homes may likely have a favourite home and in the case of marriage, what if the husband or wife is not the favourite? Virginity is still the best bet for a predictably faithful union.

I guess she is happy to be a convert of Daddy Freeze's constant advocacy. Her resolution not to pay sounds right but the reality is that giving offerings is required of all Christians especially in your place of worship. True Christians won't subscribe to the teachings of a man who obviously does not know what it means to serve God with your resources.

Happy New Year everyone and I wish that this year will be better and prosperous for everyone.

Bibijay123, congratulations and God bless and make your marriage beautiful.

As long as inequality persist in the world, it is mere wishful thinking.

chigirlangel:
Am an introvert, shy, antisocial..... the problem I have is that am battling depression and anxiety which won't let me live the life I wanna.... just fed up with the way I see life....am just loosing my mind I think

The major battle you face is the mind. Read books that can help your mind and go out of your way to make friends with people that can help or better still read pages on this thread and you will get the necessary help.

bloodofthelamb:
CIRCUMCISION STARTED WITH ABRAHAM ALSO. ARE WE TO CIRCUMCISE OURSELVES TOO?

Circumcision is still being practiced and really I doubt if you read what I wrote.

To the three commenter above, I hope you find the light soon. Life will not end here hence I urge you guys to re-evaluate your lives.

I would not have bothered to discuss this topic if not but to defend and protect some impressionable minds. I plead that you read this article to the end in order to save yourself from rational minds who think they know much about the spiritual.

Tithing is as old as the creation of man and the first record of tithe payment was by Abraham. He paid ten percent of his plunder after he rescued Lot from some kings who had ganged up against Sodom to the priest Melchidezek (Gen. 14:20).

Tithing has evolved with time and this follows on from the people of Israel down to the present age. The people of Israel were mainly farmers and animal herders hence they paid in this way (Leveticus). The other notable portion of the Old Testament where the issue of Tithing was mentioned is in the book Of Malachi 3:6-10 where God specifically asked the people to bring their tithe and offerings into the storehouse so that his home will not be empty and he will bless them.

The present day Christian is often used to quoting the teachings of Jesus who came to establish the way of life we now practice. He did not specifically mention the issue of tithing but his teachings pointed to the importance of using your money to serve God.The payment of tithe in the present day has a link with the past and it is unique in some ways. The present world is ruled by money and it will be inconceivable to see anyone even a farmer bring in their primary produce as tithe. For the sake of context, tithe is ten percent of your earnings and it is different from offerings.

Why you should pay tithes and benefits

The reason why we pay tithe is as simple as obedience to a divine command from God. If we agree that it has been mentioned in the bible, then why should we let go of a practice that has been on for ages. The payment of tithes has a lot to do with how the church and its activities is funded in the present age. The Levites of the old were asked not to work, were given little inheritance among the Israelites and were principally asked to serve in the church. The present day pastor follows the same mode except in situations where they are deemed part time.

Tithe is also a means to fund other activities of the church like missionary works. I am an Anglican and I am aware that the church do send out missionaries to places where the word has not been preached. The church requires tithe and other offerings to fund mission works, pay priests and also fulfil its obligations to the community. The church can never have enough except in some cases which will be duly discussed later. The mission work is central to the vision of Christ and this cannot be done without using money.

The reason why you should pay tithe as an individual is to fulfil both physical and Spiritual obligations as a Christian and this also comes with their benefits. On the Spiritual aspect, it is recognized that as Christians, we ought to obey every command of God as he delights in our obedience. Apart from obedience, the average Christian ought to sacrifice his time to God and how best than to pay part of what you earn. We spend hours away from his presence working to satisfy our needs and wants and this directly affects the time we spend with God. Giving money to his house will definitely not compensate for our inability to spend time in his presence but it is a way to show that we are devoted. Also it will be pleasing that we know we are storing up treasures for ourselves in heaven rather than on earth.

Giving ten percent of your income also has its practical dimension as it is not easy for the human mind to give it away. The effect on the income of an individual is dependent on how much they earn. Tithing brings financial discipline along with it and therefore a regular tither can easily become prudent if he keeps on with it. The major problem in our present world aside from low income is poor financial management and greed.

Beggars and pastors

The present controversy in tithing has been fueled by the ostentatious lifestyle of some pastors. The pastors have been accused of using church money to build mansions, buy private jets and other luxury goods. At this point, it will not be inconceivable to call some of these men fake pastors who we were warned about in the bible. The actions of these men should not colour your vision and thought on what tithe should be used for. As I mentioned earlier, tithe is used to fund the church’s activities and here I will focus on its missionary activities.

I read a book some time ago on evangelism and a man was used as an example due to his exemplary act. He was a famous cricketer in England and he earned so much money as a result. At a point, he sold every of his property, went to a particular country and did evangelism there. We are beneficiaries of such actions and it is not far-fetched where these money may have come from. Of recent, a missionary Ian Squire was killed in Delta State. He used his skill as an optometrist to help people who are blind and was training some doctors until his unfortunate death in the hands of some kidnappers.

The church is not immune to the failure of man and his struggle with his desires. The church is an institution and hence it can be weak or strong. I like my church because it has a democratic nature. Pastors are subject to laws and yet some embezzled church funds. This same practice is run in some Pentecostal churches and this has helped to regulate the activities of men of God. If you attend a church where the pastor’s use of money is suspicious, then I may encourage you to change to another. If you are against changing, then there are several Christian missions you cannot donate to in order to fund their activities.

Some Christians have come up with this notion that they should start paying their tithes to beggars or those in need. I will not advise against this if you are led by the HOLY SPIRIT (emphasis mine) but if it is in the form of rebelling against your pastor or church, please I urge you to pray to God for direction. Christ said it that the poor will always be with us and yet he encouraged us to give to them and the church (Matt. 26:11). The beggar cannot replace God and this is my reason. I know a man who is crippled but he works despite this disability. He makes leather slippers and we have several examples like them who live around us. We can argue for a more humane society for the disable but it should not replace our service to God. Paul also admonished that a lazy man should not eat, we should empower the people around us rather than encourage them to beg.

This post became necessary because of recent attempts by some people who feel they are knowledgeable about the church ways and thus they could make decrees about them. The present day Christian should understand that comments and criticisms will be made about their activities but it is left for the discerning to understand what God says. I urge you not to be just a rational Christian, but a spiritual one as the battle is fought mainly in the Spiritual. Read the bible, seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit and let grace keep you on the narrow way.

Written by me.

Are introverts biased in choice of friendship?
From my experience, I think introverts are quick to make friends those who look approachable and also fits their ideal conception of a person. Friends ought to provide a form of security and this is possible only with those we feel confident about.

From discussions here, it is typical of introverts to find it difficult to make friends especially with the opposite sex. The disadvantage with this process is the tendency to have friends who are almost like you or fits the ideal personality which tend to restrict your community of friends.

To make friends should not be difficult it you are interested. Make yourself approachable, smile at people and be willing to help when approached. Introversion is a default process hence be willing to stretch yourself sometimes so as get ahead in every area of your life.