₦airaland Forum

LOOKING FOR A JOB?

An Israeli doctor says -------> "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man - put it in another - and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A British doctor says -------> "That is nothing - we can take a lung out of one person - put it in another - and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Canadian doctor says -------> "In my country - medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person - put it in another - and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

A Zimbabwean doctor - not to be outdone - says -------> "You guys are way behind - we just took a man with no brain - made him President - and now the whole country is looking for work.

With kind regards

ALHAMBRA

Come January 6, 2008, it would be a good two years since I made this post. And I am proud to announce that Mrs Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, the President of the Republic of Liberia is still the current President of Liberia and she is doing fine. Visitors to and from Liberia, today, say the country is fast advancing in its rebuilding efforts and the populace is simply fine.

Go Ellen, we have your back. The next female President of Nigeria, should start getting ready, please.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

That is why you must be careful where you want to wee wee. That old lady may belurking around with her scissors ready to go to work.


Regards.

You bet your last bottom dollar.

Regards

A LITTLE LAUGH FOR THE DAY WONT HURT ANYONE

"A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a 20 pound note is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her,

"Madam, there are 20 pound notes falling out of that bag, " "Darn!" says the little old lady, "I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no," says the little old lady. "You see, my backyard backs up to the parking lot of the soccer stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!" "So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: 20 pound or off it comes!" "Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay."

_____________________

With kind regards

ALHAMBRA

A-40, you might be right after all. But there are others who want Al Gore in. Please read below.



By COLLEEN BARRY, Associated Press Writer Sat Sep 1, 7:39 AM ET

VENICE, Italy - Barack Obama has the aura of a rock star, says George Clooney, who also had some kind words for other Democratic presidential candidates.
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"You've been in a room once in a while with a rock star. He walks into the world, and he takes your breath away. I'd love him to be president, quite honestly," the actor told reporters Friday at the Venice Film Festival, where his legal thriller "Michael Clayton" was premiering.

Clooney, who banked a check for Obama at a private $1.3 million fundraiser in Beverly Hills last February, praised the U.S. senator for speaking out early against the Iraq war.

But with more than a year until the election, Clooney also said he liked Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and former Sen. John Edwards — and pondered whether former Vice President Al Gore might vie for the presidency again.

"It could be interesting," he said.

_____________

With kind regards

Kissing. It all depends upon what kissing is. Clintonian, you bet. Intent is the controlling factor here. If you kiss with the intent to have more than just a pep on the lips, you are sinning like hell. Because sex originates from the mind and the intent is formed in the mind. But when the kiss is as innocent as a parent kissing a child to send him or her to school, that type of kissing is not sinful.

Regards,

ALHAMBRA

You would have done us a world of good if you had named whom your support goes.

Regards

Doyin 13,

Thanks a million. I need not go to Timbuktu at all. Yours has "drank the cup and all", if I may be allowed to be a bit Shakespearean.

And I dare say you have a great sense of humour. Thanks.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

That is a good question. Mother Teresa's personal missives indicated that she struggled with the "pre-iminence" of Jesus Christ yet this woman suppassed in doing good deeds for the poor and the unwanted in the society. The Catholics who brought this into the open are saying that it is alright to be a good christian like Mother Teresa and still have your doubts about faith and the rest. For that matter, they still want to canonize her and make her the Saint of the Skeptics.

I think because they still want to go forward to canonize her in the future, then her position on faith and preiminence was and should be acceptable.

With kind regrads,

ALHAMBRA

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CASTRO OF CUBA is calling the cards. The following was culled from the DRUDGE REPORTS

By Anthony Boadle

HAVANA (Reuters) - Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro is tipping Democratic candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to team up and win the U.S. presidential election.

Clinton leads Obama in the race to be the Democratic nominee for the November 2008 election, and Castro said they would make a winning combination.

"The word today is that an apparently unbeatable ticket could be Hillary for president and Obama as her running mate," he wrote in an editorial column on U.S. presidents published on Tuesday by Cuba's Communist Party newspaper, Granma.


With kind regards,


ALHAMBRA

You will observe that I put my thread in quotation marks, meaning I did not initiate it. In fact, you suggested that I should go to the Google for assistance. Indeed, sir, that quote is from Google. Any more suggestions?

Regards,

ALHAMBRA

Thanks indeed. Your explanation put in such candid terms actually fully explains what rorschach ink blot test means. I have appended something I came across to buttress my point.

"The Rorschach inkblot test (pronounced IPA: [ʁoɐʃax]) is a method of psychological evaluation. Psychologists use this test to try to examine the personality characteristics and emotional functioning of their patients. The Rorschach is currently the second most commonly used test in forensic assessment, after the MMPI, and is the second most widely used test by members of the Society for Personality Assessment. It has been employed in diagnosing underlying thought disorder and differentiating psychotic from nonpsychotic thinking in cases where the patient is reluctant to openly admit to psychotic thinking".

The question is how does this test refer to Obaama? Do people actually see whatever they want to think or say about him? This is swell?

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

No, we cannot shut up while this man lurks in infernal places getting ready to unleash havoc on us. And talking about joining the army to fight him, that is an honourable statement but remember that driven words are more powerful than any weapon. Our words can drive our soldiers to fight for ever to achieve any objective. IN the WWII, Winston Churchill never fired a gun in anger, but his words kept the allied forces in top gear until victory was won.

Regards

Oh God, no. I shall never dare to tear her down. I am too afraid of God to challenge His Mother Teresa. You missed my point. I was struggling with my own faith then I heard about Mother Teresa's own struggle and took solace out of it. I was not doing any thing you suggested.

Regards.

Thank God for the life of you, Mother Teresa. Private letters she wrote during her life time stood for the proposition that she was a passionate skeptic. She did very good deeds for the poor and the destitude. She cared for the unwanted and the despised. She taught the Bible and sang songs to praise her Maker. But did you know that all along she "lacked the faith" and doubted the preiminence of Jesus Christ? (Ref. NBC News, Wednesday).

By these revelations, optimists are saying that should she be canonized as a saint, she would be called "St. Teresa, saint of the Skeptics". And confessedly, that is where I come in. I hold the christian religion dearly but I doubt a thousand things about it.

Where do you stand?

With kind regards,


ALHAMBRA

Re: Hilary Clinton, Obama Would Lose To Al Gore, Dukakis
« #20 on: Yesterday at 10:03:37 PM »
I guess Obama is the archetypal Rorschach test


What is the archetypical "Rorschach test" ?

Do you care to enlighten us, please.

Regards.

I could not agree with you more on the issue of whether or not the Republican Party gives a hoot in hell about blacks, I think what turns the whites off on our issues is our attitude, or laziness and poor contribution to any thing for our common good. A case in point, my nephew came to us in the US. I need not tell you what we go through in order to get a relation to come over from Africa. But when this chap finally got here, he refused to see what it takes to live in America. My wife and I opened a savings bank account for him and we got him the necessary papers to work and attend college. Would you believe me if I told you that the fool is now doing some time in jail on weapon's charge? I do not even own a weapon. How his freinds drove him into this, I do not know.

We, or some blacks tend to have similar attitude toward work, business, and life in general. Who would not leave such a person behind?

Regards.

This is serious, indeed.

A few days ago, Osama bin Laden, the brain behind the 911 bombing in New York that put a huge dent in America's huge pride stated in no uncertain terms that he intended to release more devastation on six cities in America and in Europe.

We can pretend to act like, we are exempt, after all Europe and America are too far away from us, Africans. Okay, but this was the same person whose actions since 911 have brought pain and suffering (because of what happened afterwards) on thousands if not millions around the world. So like JF Hutton, when bin Laden speaks, we must listen.

The petrel question is what should we do, as Nigerians and Africans about it? Side with bin Laden as he wants us to or stay away from him, which matters little to him or join forces with the West to seek to annihilate him? King Solomon once said "if you want peace, prepare for war".Think seriously about it.

With kind regards,

Babeelove, I beg to disagree with your stand. For example, all football teams play football, using certain moves and other elements to seek success. Notwithstanding, individuals go bananas in their support for particular teams. So your saying that there is no difference between Republicans and democrats undercuts the issue at stake. There is a vast difference.

I am a Republican because I follow Lincoln. He liberated the slaves and fought for their civil liberties. He did not finish the job because he was assassinated. His death added a bit more spice to the reasons why I like him. Then I realized that he was a Republican, hence I followed the Republicans. Such basis for selecting a political party may be shallow but such iare the foibles that go to make the human total.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

Who care?

I bet you do subliminally. And of course the rest of the wrold. In today's globalization, any political move even in Guam has repercursions on the total globe. Remember that America is "the world" as they love to say in the USA and leadership in America affects the world's sanity. A case in point, look what happened when the Americans elected Bush instead of Al Gore. I wonder very much if Al Gore would have put the world on fire as Bush did.

We do care properly. Re-think your stand.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

Neither Hilary Nor Obama Would Win If

Neither Obama nor Hilary Clinton would get the nomination if Al Gore and Dukakis enter the race to stand for the Presidency of these USA. Americans are ready for a black to be their president if he is called Powell. And I wonder the dislike for Hilary would do her good at the pools come election day. That is why any other person of political (Democrat Party) substance would beat them if they join in the race.

What do you think?

With kind regards,
ALHAMBRA

Tuesday, August 21, 2007
The House of Prostitution

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye, It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES


He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought, Soon he sees another sign, which says:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES


Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real, Then he drives past a third sign saying:



SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT


His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive, On the side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:


SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS


He climbs the steps and rings the bell, The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business.".

"Very well my son. Please follow me."

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door",

He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway ."

He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.

As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:,


GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED
BY THE SISTERS OF ST FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

_____________

Culled

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

Hey girl, a million people cannot tell you what to do about love, passion and emotions. My gut feeling is that you must do what is best for you.

But you have said it in your lines, that you love him. Well, what else can I tell you. Get pregnant for him soon. That would impact any decision by your parents to marry or not to marry him. The game is get pregnant for him soon.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

Among other extra curricula things I do is counsel the young and the libertine in and around our New York Avenue Presby Church in Washington, DC. You see I double as a Deacon. I had a young lady come in the other day to tell me that she had married about a month ago but she made a terrible mistake doing so. She further explained that she did not and does not love the hubby.

You see Cleo loves another man. Is it possible or realistic for one to marry another s/he does not love? Folks, Cleo needs your help, so chip in and give a hoot. Advise as if Cleo is sitting right before you. It will help me with my counselling. I thought I had seen or heard most of it until Cleo walked in that day. Heeeeelp!

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

Do you think history would have been different "if" certain events or incidents had turned out differently? For instance, someone said that had she not said "I do" on that fateful day, her life would have been different. (2) Do you think if Mark Anthony and Cleopatra had won the sea battle at Azium against Caesar August et al two thousand years ago, history as we have it today would have been different? (3) What "if" Adi Hitler had won the WWII?

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA

I was embarrassed for the Ghana Black Stars for going down 3-0 to Brazil until I watched the match between Germany and Italy. Italy scored 2 goals within 5 minutes before the end of time. I was mega surprised.

And so this tells me that any country could be humiliated when they dare hand down their guard. From now on, I am not embarrassed for the performance of the Black Stars. I hate to apportion blame on any one for their ouster. The referee has been badly maligned for his role. Guys, frankly speaking even the best can lose. Brazil and Germany also bit the dust.

Better luck next time, Black Stars.

ALHAMBRA

My2cents: for one thing, I think the bigot was on the money in his opinion, (that is he was right). Read below:

"Now I can state this unequivocally, and with half my brain tied behind my back, the Americans have no chance to beat Ghana in this match. Did you see those little monkeys go in their match against the Czechs? Look, it has been said before, but for those of you in Rio Linda who may have missed it--these guys have been bred for centuries to be good athletes."

The big, fat idiot then offered a solution:

"The way I see it is this: The only way we can beat them is to roll the clock back a couple hundred years. We conservatives are always in favor of that, just ask any commie/pinko/liberal. So here's the plan. Arena needs to go in there, shackle them up, and ship them up the Rhine just like in the good old days. And then we can put them out on the field for our team, guaranteed victory!"

_______________


And with those crude antics in cheating that he has suggested, they still cannot beat the Black Stars.

With kind regards,

ALHAMBRA