₦airaland Forum

In Kenny Blaq's voice


Me: Do you know this lady?
Mr. B: No, I don't
Me: I don't know her too...

I'm not thinking he's a Kenyan oh..

fernandobush:


Porthacourt

Over-rated slum! Stinking, Dirty, Bad Roads, and filled with Killers!!

Dirty City!


Ibadan

Tagged city of the poor!!

Brown roof, uncivillized people, Dirty, ritualists and 419ners.

KANO

All I can say is "FEAR NORTH".... I don't need much explanation.

IKEJA

Great city...

Home of cash

Wonderful Lagos

Come to Ibadan and see... It's cleaner than lagos now... But pic no. 2 on Ibadan ain't Ibadan though...

Beautiful piece... Awesome work here Man...
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But you can bleach oh....

Bros, you can lie oh...

Go and sin no more...

praisekeyzz:
Hello NLs....

I've been so disturbed about the strangest thing ever happening to me for the past one month.

I met an elderly woman early April at my barber' shop where I do come to charge my phone at night whenever there is no power supply(same as the woman). I went the 2nd night, still met this same woman on the same mission at the shop. She noticed my hairstyle and asked me what style it is, I was like it was just a partial dreadlocks but I haven't locked it fully to make it firm. And she was like she likes it.

And she went on to ask my name and some details about myself which I did. And when I told her i'm an igbo guy she was soo happy and told me clearly that she likes me more.

I was already admiring her as a mother(meanwhile we already exchanged contact) not until she called me on the phone 3weeks after we met and asked me to come to her house. After entertaining me with dishes, she moved close to me and started showing me videos on her phone...while scrolling through the videos i saw lots of matured porn and I was so shocked. She asked me what was wrong? that I should relax. I told her this is not right! I told her she could be my mom. She was just like it doesn't matter.

The most shocking part of it is that this woman claims to be a prohetess and a minister. Even on her facebook timeline, she addressed herself as a prophetess. I could disclose her facebook account but something inside of me tells me it will be too cruel and unjust of me...please people all I need is advice I don't wanna fall into temptation. She lives on the same street with me. She's new there......Please I need advice!

Don't worry, na small of your destiny she need...

The only news here is that you have made front page.... Congratulations....

sarrki:
The high chief of the wailing wailers

There won't be need for wailing

God is in charge of the affairs of our country

Lol... Love your spirit...

Lol... Recession is a bad sontin... Bastart

Mstalba:
As for me when driving an automatic transmission car, i barely make use of it. But when am driving a manual car, i tend to make use of it especially when am about to drive over a hilly place to avoid the car from moving backward. I really will like to know how often you use your hand brake and under what circumstance.

FRSC coman carry traffic offender oh...
Once you park your car, apply your handbrake...
Probably you learnt how to drive from a nurtw guy...

Nigerian girls and their ego that cannot it them cup of Garri...

mrvitalis:
Buhari must be a very funny man I swaer ..u will always see people around him laughing out loud

Mehn aso rock is fine abeg

There is nothing here ..he said he might go back and he is going back hopeful this time around get fully well ..at least he has shown all the rumours were fake ..he is fully aware of himself and can hold meeting

We have a capable vice though

You're with your Oga, he shows 1 tooth, you must show your 32...

Not working

MrBrownJay1:
Here is a clue: many great men of the bible had baby mamas, mistresses and concubines (which they were NOT married to), and they were not viewed as sinners by god (check Abraham, king David, King Solomon etc)...

So it is very simple: so long as the babe is NOT married to another man, it is NOT a sin.

All those happened before there was a law, so it wasn't a sin then. But now, the law has been put in place, so it becomes a sin.

Let's kidnap this man... Who's in?

ellagabs:
so u ma kn jenny osifo? chai... wat a smal world

Oops, I forgot to blur the numbers... But yea she does know her, they're friends... You know her?

Hello Nairalanders, I tried renewing my subscription yesterday night on my GLO line and noticed that they have slashed their bundles by half and in some cases more than half.
For example, #500 worth of data which went for 1.6GB has been reduced to 800MB, same with #1000 which went for 3.2GB now goes for 1.6GB, #8000 went for 48Gb, but it now goes 16GB, that's definitely more than by half.
They should witness a significant drop in number of internet subscribers, considering the fact that they have the least stable network in the country and most people tolerated them because of the extra cheap data bundles.
Can you guys suggest better options.

CC: Lalasticlala Mynd44

segunotiti:
This shows you haven't been this Airport before, its not a must you comment. They may have a bad signboard but they do operate clean restrooms.

Not everyone uses the restroom... But everyone will definitely see this signpost.

Oluwasaeon:
Dey can say dey need 8billion to do another one like dat

Before nko

jalbert:
Kai...and Jonathan lied that they fixed these Airports. God will purnish dem and their supporters. How can we have so much and live like rats. Calabar & Igbo people will be supporting rubbish. God will indict.

Lol... Up FeeeDeeeFeee...

Pidgin2:
Because of a sign post in one state , Nigeria is crucified? No sense

It's not just a signpost... Imagine a first timer in Nigeria seeing this, that's the thing with first impressions.
We need to take everything serious in Nigeria. Say no to mediocrity.

Justdare:
SMH.....
I don't know why or how you can successfully defend an airport, nay, INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT that closes to open by 7am.
BTW, I am sure of my earlier mention. The airport was locked and was not opened till 8:30 am.

He should be a staff.... Lol

ademidedavid:
Welcome back home mum.......that is aw we roll in calabar Nigeria

Lol...

#Greenblood

Cc: Mynd44 Lalasticlala

Africa is a huge continent made up of 54 countries and over a billion people. But did you know that in Ethiopia, clocks are upside down with our 6:00 at their 12:00? This and 12 other incredible facts are sure to turn you into the captain at your next trivia tournament.



1. Africa and Europe are separated by less than 9 miles at the Strait of Gibraltar, which separates Spain from Morocco. The two countries are discussing constructing an undersea rail tunnel to connect the rail systems on the two continents.



2. In South Africa you are legally allowed to attach flamethrowers to your car in order to deter car jacking. Seriously.



3. Timbuktu, Mali is home of one of the oldest universities in the world, established in 982 CE. By the 12th century, the city was such an intellectual hub that National Geographic has referred to it as the Paris of the medieval world. I guess the Spice Girls didn’t take geography because in one of their self penned lyrics they believed Timbuktu to be located in China!



4. The world’s biggest frog is found in Equatorial Guinea and Cameroon. Named the Goliath frog, it can grow up to be a foot long and weigh up to 8 lb.



5. The word “Crossword” in Kiswahili, a language spoken mainly by people in eastern and central Africa is “chemshebongo” which, when translated, means “boil brains”. I suppose after trying to do the Sunday New York Times puzzle your head might feel like exploding!



6. The official title of Idi Amin, the Ugandan dictator, was “His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular”.




7. Ethiopia is the only African country with its own alphabet. It’s also the world’s oldest living alphabets – Ethiopic – and probably one of the longest with its 345 letters.



8. People living in what is currently Swaziland were the world’s first miners. In the late 1960s a hematite mine was found in the Ngwenya mountain range along with 300,000 artifacts and stone-made mining tools that were later dated to be 43,000 years old!




9. Graca Machel is the only woman to have ever been first lady of two different countries (Mozambique and South Africa).




10. Sudan has more than 200 pyramids, double the number found in Egypt. The Meroe pyramids were part of the Nubian Kingdom of Kush and are up to 4,600 years old.




11. Almost half of the gold ever mined on Earth has come from a single place – Witwatersrand, South Africa.




12. Libya’s current flag, introduced in 2011 after the overthrow of Gaddafi’s government, is a red-black-green triband featuring a white star and crescent. However, from 1977 to 2011, Libya was the only country in the world with only one color for its flag, with no insignias, design or other details. It was chosen by Gaddafi since it symbolized both Islam and his political philosophy (after his Green Book).

Mynd44

Why do we fart? Why do farts smell? Passing gas may be embarrassing for most of us, but it might make you feel better to know that it's one of the most common bodily functions of all time. Everyone does it, from Halle Berry to the Queen of England. In fact, the word "fart" is one of the oldest words in the English language!

Read on to discover more fascinating facts about about cutting the cheese.


1. What Is A Fart, Exactly?

What Is A Fart, Exactly?
Farts are caused by trapped air, which can come from many sources. Some of it is air that we have swallowed while chewing or drinking. Some air is caused by gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, and some gas is produced by chemical reactions in our intestines or bacteria living in our guts.

A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink.

Farts make a sound when they escape due to the vibrations of the rectum. The loudness may vary depending on how much pressure is behind the gas, as well as the tightness of the sphincter muscles.


2. Why Do Farts Smell Bad?

Why Do Farts Smell Bad?
The more sulfur-rich your diet is, the more terrible your farts will smell. Some foods contain more sulfur than others, which is why eating things like beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs can cause gas that will peel the paint off the walls!


3. People Pass Gas About 14 Times Per Day

People Pass Gas About 14 Times Per Day
The average person produces about half a liter of farts every single day, and even though many women won't admit it, women do fart just as often as men. In fact, a study has proven that when men and women eat the exact same food, woman tend to have even more concentrated gas than men.

If a person were to fart continuously for 6 years and 9 months, they would produce gas with the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb.





4. Farts Have Been Clocked At A Speed Of 10 Feet Per Second.

Farts Have Been Clocked At A Speed Of 10 Feet Per Second.
Though farts come out with varying velocities, we don't typically smell them for about 10-15 seconds after letting them rip. This is because it takes that long for the odor to reach your nostrils.


5. Holding Farts In Could Be Bad For Your Health

Holding Farts In Could Be Bad For Your Health
Doctors disagree on whether or not holding in a fart is bad for your health. Some experts think that farts are a natural part of your digestive system, so holding them in won't harm you. Others think that at best, holding them in can cause gas, bloating, and other uncomfortable symptoms, and at worst, repressing gas can cause hemorrhoids or a distended bowel.


6. For Some Cultures, Farting Is No Big Deal

For Some Cultures, Farting Is No Big Deal
While most cultures feel that farts should be suppressed in polite company, there are some cultures that not only don't mind letting them fly in public, but they actually enjoy it. An Indian tribe in South America called the Yanomami fart as a greeting, and in China you can actually get a job as a professional fart-smeller!

In ancient Rome, Emperor Claudius, fearing that holding farts in was bad for the health, passed a law stating that it was acceptable to break wind at banquets.


7. Farts Are Flammable

Farts Are Flammable
As stated above, the methane and hydrogen in bacteria-produced farts make your gas highly flammable. This is why some people think it's a fun party trick to hold a lighter up to their bums and let one fly; doing so produces a big burst of flame, but is obviously very dangerous.

In rare cases, a build-up of flammable gasses in the intestines have caused explosions during intestinal surgeries!


8.Termites Produce The Most Farts Of Any Other Animal

Termites Produce The Most Farts Of Any Other Animal
It's hard to believe that the tiny termite is responsible for a great deal of our global warming problem on the planet. Termites fart more than any other animal, which produces methane gas. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, "Global emissions of methane due to termites are estimated to be between 2 and 22 Tg per year, making them the second largest natural source of methane emissions. Methane is produced in termites as part of their normal digestive process, and the amount generated varies among different species."


9. If You Hold Them In, They'll Just Come Out When You Sleep

If You Hold Them In, They'll Just Come Out When You Sleep
Even if you clenched your butt and held them in all day, the gas will escape once you relax. What's more relaxing than sleep?


10. People Even Fart After Death

People Even Fart After Death
Here's proof that you can't escape passing wind, even after you're dead! Up to three hours after the body dies, gasses continue to escape from both ends of the digestive tract, resulting in burping or farting noises. This phenomenon is due to muscles contracting and expanding before rigor mortis sets in.




Cc: lalasticlala

So my mum was in Calabar last week. This ugly signpost was the first that caught her attention when she landed.
Very pitiful, to imagine that this is an international airport..
This is what welcomes Foreigners to our country..
Very Bad...