₦airaland Forum

DuchessLily:
OP Zoom pic to d punch scene nau

Gr8Adedayo:
"As ugly and obese as you are, life also cheated on you by giving you a bad character. It is definite that you can never get a good husband. I cannot imagine a sensible man who has his two eyes functioning, walk up to you and ask for your hands in marriage. And you, Mr. Man. Bearded fool..."

Those words rained heavily on two workers at a fuel station in Akure; a town in Ondo State in the South-West region of Nigeria on a Sunday morning. As I sat and watched the event, I hardly blinked my eyes through out the whole scenario. The drama started with a noise but after about one minute into it, there came a perfect decorum only punctuated by the coercive and angry voice of a tall and handsome young man. He appeared to be in his early twenties with a scar on his forehead which suggested a guy that got stoned during a dangerous play when still a kid. He wore a sky blue shirt on a black trousers. The shoe on his leg, from my own point of view, must have cost a mountain. I can only tell that his dressing made sense.

Everybody around gave attention to his words as if he was giving an open street sermon. The Okada men, the two old women inside the same bus I boarded and the people that surrounded the two pumps from which the fuel was being sold, all nodding in acceptance and total compliance to the words the guy was raining on the boy and the girl. Some men were even saying in Yoruba language "o ti e daa be, alainilaari ni awon omo yen. Won o ni eko rara, e soro siwon daadaa."

One of the old women was also nodding as if she really understood the vocabularies the guy was spitting out of his sharp mouth. You'll wonder why I've concluded that she didn't understand. I can say it emphatically that the women were illiterates.

When we were still at the motor park, a young lady dressed in a white turtle-necked blouse with the pad used to design the part of the blouse covering her supra-clavicular fossa pointed to the sky like the two ears of a rabbit, a black plitoned skirt to match and a black leather sandal which I think should be size 32, a Deeper Life church member from my own point of view, after she had preached about the condemnation of the sinners and the eternal life in the lake of fire, gave everybody inside the bus a tract which read "Where will you go from here?" One of these old women actually took the tract from the lady, turned it upside down and pretended to be reading it seriously like an architect constructing a very delicate part of a building with extreme carefulness and focus. The other woman didn't collect the tract. Since they were friends, it was easy for me to conclude that they were birds of a feather, which they always say flock together.

The noise that opened the scene resulted from the fact that the sales boy said to the guy that he thought he was a responsible fellow. The guy on hearing this replied the sales boy angrily. There was an exchange of words for few seconds but the guy's voice was loudest, fiercest and most confronting. He had a baritone voice garnished with Lagos accent. The way he spoke showed that he had a very good command of English language and I believed this was why the sales boy and girl had to keep quiet. A dog shouldn't bark where a lion is roaring.

"And you Mr. Man. Bearded fool. You've been here for months or maybe years, filling cars with fuel but you've never sat down for a minute to think about filling your empty head with sense. Only a dumb ass will open his filthy mouth and call out on a person like me as irresponsible. It doesn't even fit in the smallest space in my entire life. I know you're responsible. At least, It's a level of responsibility to be in a filling station filling every automobile's tank. It is another level of responsibility to be in the numbers of the senseless individuals we have in Nigeria." While he was saying this, a voice called out from behind the crowd.

"Hey Mr. Man! Ki lo nsele? Why are you disturbing my business?"

It was the manager of the filling station. He revealed a flat-squared head which I think contributed to his handsomeness and a kolanut-stained teeth. He had a small voice which doesn't fit his big stature and his pot-belly. He looked like a man in his late 40s. I wondered where he was before the whole drama became aggravated. Only for him to show up and interrupt when the fun of it was about getting to its peak which from my little knowledge of literature called climax I was really ready to watch a bigger fight between the guy and the manager of the filling station but I was disappointed by the response of the guy.

"Oh sir, you must be the owner of this place. I'm very sorry for what's happening here. I didn't mean to be discourteous but this asinine unwholesome pig-headed assholes you put here started the fight." Pointing to the two sales personnel.

"Well, what really happened? I was on my way to church when I received a call from one of my boys that there is wahala in the fuel station. I had to come down here immediately. I thought of calling the police but I've decided to get here first before taking that decision. What really happened?" The manager replied.

"Sir, a taxi brought me here. I had a One thousand naira note with me which I showed to the taxi driver. He told me he couldn't change the money into smaller denominations and he agreed to bring me to a fuel station and wait for me while I get it changed into smaller denominations. That was what brought me to these two fools. I saw the money they were holding, I was hoping I would get the money changed so I talked to the lady first. I sought her attention for almost a minute. She snubbed me at first only to later reply that she has no smaller denomination to change the one thousand naira note I was holding. The look on her face was even offensive as if I came to her begging for alms. This was a lady holding a lot of fifty, one hundred, two hundred and even five hundred naira. After I had pleaded with her and she gave no response, I moved to the guy. He looked at me as if he was trying to look at bacreria cells with a microscope. And finally said, "oga, ko si change"

The manager was already getting impatient. He replied the guy by telling him that they were acting on directives.

They guy continued.

"Sir, that wasn't the bone of contention. I felt really bad and disappointed. I was very angry too but I didn't utter a word. I shamefully left and told the driver who was waiting for me that I couldn't get the money changed. I apologized for keeping him on the wait and he drove off. I later called a bike and told him to take me to Cathedral. I made him realize that I was one thousand naira note. He told me to join him on the bike and promised to get it changed from these two people I've begged earlier. I reluctantly agreed to come back here with him but since he already assured me that he is their very good customer. Immediately I got back here with the motorcyclist and immediately your boy saw me, he opened his mouth like the anus of a goat that is defecating and said he called me immediately I left the other time but I was feeling too pompous to come back to him and that he thought I was responsible that was why he called me back to come get the money changed. Your girl, without winking, also added; "don't mind him, that is how they behave, jobless guys." Can you imagine?"

The look on the manager's face was like that of a cooked up toddler whose mom just beat up after he has torn his newly bought shirt. At first, I thought it was because of the insults the guy threw at his workers, it was later that I knew that he was coming after his workers. The people around added to it by telling the manager, that his workers were mannerless and that is why he is losing customers. The manager was so furious that he almost forgot that he shouldn't curse on a Sunday morning- at least one of the ways to keep the sabath day holy as written in the scripture. He apologized to the guy, collected the one thousand naira note from him and changed it into smaller denominations.

"Too many people have gotten into argument with them over the months and I am already tired of them." Facing the people around and shaking his head pitifully.

"Vacate the pumps immediately. The two of you are fired." Pointing to the boy and the girl. Mi o le je ki e wa ba ise owo mi je. Awon omo jatijati."

The two of them walked away from the scene like goats bullied and left with no horns.

The scenario really downed on me with
unbelievable generosity. I learnt morals and something that may earn me some beatings, slaps or even a worst treatment if used against people that are like a Mayweather to my humble Pacquiao; punchlines.