₦airaland Forum

iamwhat:
I am seriously confused and scared at the same time.

My cousin sister has been staying with us since age 5 and nobody knows she's not our sibling because we took her as one of us, she finished from the most expensive secondary school in our town and we gave her everything she needs.

She told my younger sister that her friends boyfriend is a yahoo guy and I noticed she has been misbehaving lately.

I received the shock of my life when my younger sister discovered her POS business money was not complete and she told me she suspected Toyin because of the clothes, Shoes and bags she buys nowadays. Lo and behold, she conducted search in her bag and she found 200k in her bag. She told the Money from there and after some days, My cousin started looking for the money but she didn't tell anyone but asked our maid if she found the money.

We confronted her yesterday and she confessed she took the money.
My brother is suggesting we take her to guard room but I think that's inhumane but I'm so confused at what to do right now...
I don't want us to maltreat her, I'm looking for the best way to treat this issue without causing any physical harm to her.

Since she has been with us since age 5, I feel sending her to her family won't make sense because she didn't grow up with them, I am suggesting a professional counsellor/therapist but my siblings are saying I'm behaving like Oyibo, they aren't buying the idea at all.

Please I need your advise on how best to handle this issue:

OP. Before u take any action, ask yourself these questions;

Supposing she is your sister what will u have done?
Supposing she is your daughter what will u have done?

I believe u are like a father to her base on your write up your word is final in your family, if I am not wrong.

Note that she was with u guys since the age of 5.
What moral training did u give to your siblings including her.
If there is that respect in the family that moral upbringing suppose to be inculcated in her.

Why do I say so is that. That fear of picking such amount supposed to set in first in her mind before picking such amount of money.

Secondly for her to be buying without anyone no her source of wealth is ridiculous.

I stand with this quote " TRAIN A CHILD THE WAY HE SHOULD GROW AND WHEN HE GROWS HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT"

We can not cry over a split milk.

Sit her down and talk to her let her know the consequences of her action. Don't involve anybody. Have a heart to heart talk with her.

Henceforth restrict her from too many suspicious friends that come to house as form punishment.

Ask questions whenever u see suspicious things from her.

Get her a job or give her money to start her own business by so doing she will be engaged if u can.

Finally don't report her to anybody tell your other siblings to forgive her.

To err is human and to forgive is divine.

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE WAS REMORSE WHEN SHE WAS BEING CAUGHT.

DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT WILL HARDEN HER .
CURTAIL HER FROM FRIENDS, LATE COMING HOME, SOCIAL ACTIVITIES. THANKS

fisher777:
Where are you located? We need to arrange for your training if location permits

Akwa Ibom State

chariisGRACE:
Illaumoh leave all this edited pictures of Uyo metropolis.

Show us unedited night pictures of Ikot Ekpene... total darkness. Ikot Ekpene is very dark.

From Abak to Ikot Ekpene is very dark. The street lights are just not working.

If you are working for the AKSG, tell them make them fix Ikot Ekpene.

My brother u are not far from the truth. Ikot Ekpene is dark for my liking.
The other day the PHCN people brought an estimated bill even when there is miter in the compound worst set of lunatic are working there.
They will prefer disconnecting people source of light. The can't do their job

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Emuforlife1:
Worshipping the Son of God(A Creature) instead of God (The Creator)

Are u a Jewish

opineflu:
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uthlaw:
The same people fighting for president are also promoting atiku,na tinubu dem go de insult...
Atiku was a vice president of Nigeria with a record of embezzlement, tinubu was a Lagos state governor...
But the useless people will only talk about tinubu like Lagos is there Father father's land!

Bro call efcc or sue him.( Atiku)
U can not wail here.

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fisher777:
Challenges like yours are my area of expertise.

To hatch catfish you have to learn the techniques.

To minimise expenses on feed you use less expensive but good quality feed. Additionally you apply proper feeding techniques

Alternatively and especially for your situation you should find a way to produce feed using local materials.

Are you ready for these tasks?

Sure I am ready for it.
Bro what is the way forward?

Why do u raise alarm. All most everything in Nigeria is fake.
Kerosene now is #400/liter

Very difficult to even get it in the filling station.

Is the refinery still working.?

I don't even see anything working in this country.

If our refinery is working all these adultration
Will not be again

My challenges are ;
How to hatch catfish

Minimize expensive on feeding
The worst part of it is there is no feed in my local government. The only place that farmers buy feed is now out of stock.

This government ' he get as e b ooo"

The company that this feed is complaining o unavailability of raw materials

How do farmers survive ooo

Retailing my cat fish.
And spending too much on feed

SeriouslySense:
I think we have to grow on the inside first, its really necessary that an individual is brought up, to be mentally matured, so relationships can be handled with wisdom.

When one knows herself, she would understand, what kind of man, is good for her, the same goes for men.

women need to understand that most relationships are used for learning or are meant for the most fun, and there is a need for caution with respect to expectations, or how involved the parties are.

So, Know what you what, and why you are into short-term involvements.

The best advice is to love yourself, and always love yourself, always uphold your dignity and your wisdom.

U are absolutely right

larryking540:
exactly ,when woman break man heart ,the community sees it as nothing but if na man break her heart ,she go run day break egg for river ,,,me I no send you ,as far say u don break one guy heart before no need for drama

Exactly lol

Why do women act like demons or like heart break affect them only?
If a woman breaks a man heart it is normal but if a man dump a woman the woman will go extra mile. Shame on most women.
They have lost their pride.
No man or woman worth dieing for. We are full of disappointment.

I cannot trust myself left alone trusting some else.

Whatever I spend for a woman does not mean anything to me I can not hand over my precious heart to any f**king idiot in the name of love

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Are we to contact via WhatsApp

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

My brother u bleep up. U started that dangerous suspicious game by chatting with random girls and she became insecure.
Even if she has been cheating on u it is not her fault but your because u lure her to commit it.

In other to have good home don't ever leave a suspicious home no matter what happen.

For peace to reign let the matter die.
As u have done that initial "gara" let that matter slide. I believe she learn her lesson by not trusting.u.

Since u have Bible in your house always pray with your family and have God's presence in your life.

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tyup:
I'm still looking for what's burnt here

Are u a Fulani man.?
Why are u this wicked.
Op. Sorry about your lost