₦airaland Forum

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=659853.msg8264401#msg8264401 date=1304602363]I've you asked him what he meant by that infamous status update yet?    Pls leave NL, and go and ask him.[/quote]would text  do?

agabaI23:
@Amya

I think you have left so much information here on nairaland.
Hope you don't care your relation might bump into this or someone you wouldn't like to know about this.

I acted spontaneously, and now, I'm beginning to regret it. . .

ifyalways:
OP,You have no business checking out his Facebook or any other social site status.You guys are neither married nor into any kind of committed relationship so why stalk him and bother your life with his status  

Listen girl,don't ask him anything about his facebook status,you guys did not meet on fbk so whatever he says there ain't no biz of urs.Blimey,If you confront him,even If he meant to stay . . .he's gonna pick his shoes and run.Learn to let certain things lie as it were.
If he wants to call off the whole thing,he should be able to say it to your face or take the easiest route ie avoid you.As it is now,he has done[b] NONE[/b] of the above so I really don't get whats your problem here ?
I'm married and I know my marriage was not contacted on facebook so I try as much as possible to disregard whatever my husband does on fbk or at any online forum.Of course,I watch but I pay certain things no mind . . .He respects himself though.

What Im trying to say is this:Whatever he writes on fbk is none of your biz.You wanted constant s3x,companion and a friend and u got it,why stalk him now?Things happen and u saw urself falling in love,u are a woman . . .our mothers thought us that na,subtly but quietly change position.Corner and finally rope him-in without
saying much. . .that is,If he too is interested.

I wasn't stalking him! he's my friend on facebook, and i couldn't help but see the update

contracult:
@ Inked_nerd

In my opinion, casual sex is an oxymoron. There is no such thing - particularly for a woman. Forget the propaganda - its crap! Sex is the most intimate activity you can perform with somebody else. I know that society says that it is okay to divorce it from commitment and all that crap, but it is just that CRAP! There is always an emotional price to pay because it was not designed to be that way. No need for self deceit. It does not work and it will never work because it is not designed to work. You sleep with somebody long enough no matter the "arrangement" with which you started and you will start to catch feelings. That is the way women are designed. So do not set yourself up for failure by trying to cheat nature and indulge in  an arrangement that is destined for failure.

That is what is wrong with casual sex.

there was nothing casual about the intimacy, just because it isn't the regular convention relationship does not qualify it to be termed as casual sex. My friends actually call him my boyfriend because of how close we are. I see him every other day, and not just at night. We have very good chemistry and actually talk about anything and everything.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=659853.msg8259536#msg8259536 date=1304531391]Chei! OP, you too dey jump o! He's probably trying to say after months of meaningless sex (how can sex be meaningless sef), and worthless relationship with YOU, he has finally taken it to the next level. He's in love with YOU!

I'm not trying to give you false hope, but seriously there are two "meanings" to that sentence. 

Find out which one is it!

P.S: All these babies that upload/update nonsense on FaceBook sef, nawa for una---ahn ahn! [/quote]Yeah it could mean that alright . . . but i just don't know. He called me yesterday and said he actually came to my house that night and didn't see me (I'd gone to my friend's house to sleep as i thought he wasn't coming) He said he didn't call because he didn't have airtime on his phone. Last night, i went to his house went the intention of asking him what he really meant by the FB update. I didn't call to tell him i was coming ( don't usually call him to tell him I'm coming. he never complained, so i kept up) I also wanted to probably see his new love interest. He was alone as always. I lost steam and couldn't say what i had in mind. I stayed for 15 min and told him i wanted to leave, He insisted i stayed a little longer "you just came" he said. So a stayed some more, Saw an episode of the big bang theory and he later saw me off. He told me he'll bring some mad rock videos he saw to my house today.

I really don't know what to think? Maybe the love interest is long distance? In that case, unless he tells me to my face that he doesn't want to see me again, i don't think i can stop seeing him. As someone said somewhere, he's my spec, and i don't think i can i meet someone like that again.

[quote author=Inked_Nerd link=topic=659853.msg8262944#msg8262944 date=1304587232]
You're not cheap. You saw what you wanted, went for it, and were content with it--nothing wrong with that.[/quote]Thank God you see that! so many don't.

[quote author=Tee_Jay link=topic=659853.msg8258501#msg8258501 date=1304522219]mehn this chic is smart sha, lol all these guys patronising the girl because of her looks never fail to amuse me. Forget about how good the girl looks, the guy who has been handling the internal affairs commented that "the kini is nothing to write home about"; yet guys on NL who as far as i can imagine have no "insider" knowledge are slagging the guy off. Na real wa![/quote]He said the "meaningless sex" and not "the kini is nothing to write home about" It could mean he wants more out of the relationship and he knows i can't give him that. so he opted for a loving relationship with another person, even i can't fault that.

LesbianBoy:
Andy1, crude oil and co. Una fall my hand o, I expected to see a girl who has a body as mercy johnson and a cute face like ini edo, though d girl try but she is not drop dead gorgous now, u cant tell me the guy is d loser! Beside her pix is not a full pix so am wondering how u guys are saying she is all that!!!!! Guys make una wear una glass jor!

And are you gorgeous? Whether or not I'm gorgeous is not the bone of contention. I don't have a body like mercy Johnson, neither do i have a face like Ini edo. Do i care? No!

I still wonder why people could be such hypocrites. . . people judging me, calling me cheap like they have better lives. I came here to air my hurt, saying everything as it is. I Didn't try to draw sympathy to my side making out the relationship to what wasn't, so i stated the facts as they were because i know that's the only way i can get sincere advice that could be actually helpful.

I'm not really a sucker for committed relationships, because it brings with it so much drama which I'm not yet ready for. So i opted for this arrangement with this dude which actually works well for me. I'll have a companion, have a fulfilling sex life, and a friend to talk to all in one, without having to deal with commitment and all it's entanglement. Please, how does that make me cheap? If you must know, i don't have boyfriends on the side. I wasn't in it for any financial favor, neither was in it for my emotions. I liked him, lately I fell in love with him, but commitment is still out of it.

jay bee:
And you honestly believe a subtle withdrawal wouldn't bring about any hurt feelings?
Common gyal, it wasn't a one night stand. You guys where involved and no matter how subtle the break-up maybe, either of you would have still felt some sort of hurt.

Just look at the bright side, he saved you the pain of being labelled a heartbreaker.

you make so much sense!

jay bee:
How do you think he would have felt if the table was turned?
You guys had fun while it lasted and it appears the only grievance is that he moved on before you did so i suggest you just do the same.
Life shouldn't be this hard

A subtle withdrawal always does the trick. . .not something this abrupt. . .at least that's what i would do.

I'm not a kid 190. . . Everything i did, i consented to. I knew there was no future in it before i started. . . I was only hurt by how it ended. why face book? because he knew I'd probably see it?
I knew a day like this would come, but 'I'd rather it wasn't this soon. He didn't play me. He never made any promises, neither did i.

^^^^ not to me it wasn't, it wasn't meaningless neither was it for nothing!

I started seeing this course-mate of mine 3 months ago. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend in the real sense of the word, but we were quite close. We are both in our final year and we didn't really know each other much all these years but I've always noticed and admired him over the years. Somehow, through a twist of fate we became close and i started developing real feelings for him.This year, our intimacy went to a whole new level and we started having sex and regularly too. I knew we couldn't be in the stereotypical relationship, but we were lovers. Even though i wanted much more than that, but i was content with the way things were and i didn't want it to change. There wasn't any form of commitment from both parties. . .which was still okay. . . I should mention that I'm 3 years older than him even though i don't know if he knows it. This is actually my inhibition in getting too serious with him. . .i know it can never work, that there can never be a happily ever after end to that one, but i fell in love.

Yesterday, while we were in school, we were together as we always and there wasn't any hint that anything was amiss. . much later in the day, i called him to ask him if he wanted to spend the night at my place, but he didn't take the call. i sent him a text, he didn't reply. I assumed nothing.

Today, i was reading through status updates on face book, and i saw the one he posted last night ""months of meaningless sex , worthless relationships, finally I'm in love n I'm happy" i can't describe how hurt i felt.

My answer to the question above is "yes"

Sometimes, i enter into relationships purely for the experience, curiosity and just for the sake of it. It's actually best though if the other party is in it for the same reasons, and not for something serious.

I once had a boyfriend who i really loved so much but i knew from the onset i wouldn't marry him for "certain" reasons! It really hurt him when he realized i wasn't planning on having a future with him. It eventually led to our breakup, but the truth is this, i really loved him and would have pleasantly keep the relationship for as long as possible, but marriage must not come into the picture.

my best being Bon Jovi - it's my life. . .
and my second best being -driving nails by Demon Hunters. . .

Gender : Female
Birth-date : Earlier in the month
Lives in : Abuja
Travels to : Dubai and I've been to almost every where in Nigeria
Relocate? : probably. .
Height : 179cm
Body type : fleshy, but not fat
Smoking : occasionally, and joints occasionally too (when the mood requires)
Drinking : in company (booze loves company)
Race : black
Speaks : English and Ibo.
Education : LLB looking at an LL M
Marital status : Single
Occupation : none occasional business
Interests : traveling, having a good time. . .
Goals : really don't know what i hope to achieve, but I'll know when i get there. . .
Private part status : Private!
Sex prance : With the right person, it's mind blowing!
Turn on : when someone who has it doesn't know he has it, or is modest about it,
Turn off : Pride, Hypocrisy
Want children : Most def, 3
Have children : no

No seriously, when will this Nigerian women bashing thread stop? Sometimes there are two or three of these threads running concurrently!


Now, to the topic. . . . The typical Nigerian male sees himself as an alpha male. Ego comes into play. They wouldn't want to settle with with a self sufficient woman, age and the fear of losing respect make them run to those ladies that are dependent. Having someone who depend on them unconciously make them feel the hero.

There are so many beautiful independent women out there that believe in footing their bills and tabs, but our nigerian men happen to not-be-attracted to them.

So, there it is guys, you can't eat your cake and have it!

borrow borrow / mortgage

bash673:
But I believe I have the right qualifications.

whatever made you think that?

Tosinville:
Amya
Quotes
what's the word for that?




How do you mean? i don't understand that.

when someone wants to have se.x in exchange for money and other things, isn't that prostitution?

Tosinville:
I'll do her but not for free

Crude Oil:
no drama, no arguing a picnic at the beach then watching the stars after sunset on the pier and kissing under the moonlight. whispering some deep poetry softly in her ear while holding hands and looking into her eyes with a burning passion of love and romance. movies and candlelight dinners red roses and rose petals.

i hope i was romantical enough.

[size=4pt]just watch and see girls trip over this comment.[/size]

Seriously, moonlight kissing, stars watching and the whole poetry thingamajig would be the highest turnoff for me Personally, And MOSTLYonly broke jobless guys could pull such.


And to the question. . . any date with the 'right person' which involves any adrenaline pumping adventure and booze is okay by me and could be the perfect date

bash673:
Oya, can I apply then?

other things may disqualify you, wouldn't be worth it.

Tosinville:
I'll do her but not for free

+


what's the word for that?

i on the other can't take any man serious unless he's 10-15 yrs older than me, but not more than that.

This question is put to to both the guys and ladies. Would you prefer a younger or older person for and intimate affair, marriage, dating or whatever. . .


There's this new craze of very young guys and girls hoping to or having affairs with people old  enough to be their parents/ grandparents. Seriously, i can't for  say for sure the reasons that spur people into this, but i can guess it sometimes it could be for reasons such as financial constraints on the young persons but i can't say this with absolute certainty as for all i know it may be something that arose from genuine affection.

There's also instance where people who are quite old in the true sense seek out teens that are barely out of infancy for marriage.

Everyone have there choices. . . what's yours?

MyTake:
(or maybe i only noticed lately)

i read somewhere that when marriage starts becoming stale and boring, the glass kinda shatters and spouses start noticing irritating habits by the other spouse they never noticed before. Little things starts to irritate them, and even things that once excites them begin to disgust them. The problem may not be your wife's noisy gum chewing, or even the make up (you say is loud) but may be one of those underlying issues of marriage.

My Advice? try to inject some of the previous sparks in the marriage, try to see her in those eyes you used to see her. Just know that the gum and make up may not be the problem as there maybe an underlying issue. find out what it is, and you may just be on your way to save your marriage.

same thing my boyfriend complains about, he wants me to stay off makeup completely because all his friends girlfriends don't use make-up and he says it makes me look older and horrible (his words).  To stave off fights, i sometime give in to his wishes. What i shall not do however is to completely abide to his wishes. He approached me with all my made up face and all, and now he thinks he can change me with the snap of his fingers?

Hotie Tima:
I don't want anything more.

I am perfect the way I am.

For now you are. . . . Wouldn't last forever babe!

zerocool:
African (Nigerian) quick to criticize and oozing PUS from their oral CAVITY as if they themselves offer something worthwhile in bed.

are you a Nigerian?

SA Goddess:
@ OP, "Fake is the new real" these days. . . . . .but to each his own!!!

you said it all, if being "real" suits you, go right ahead with it, if you love to be "fake" go right ahead with it,

. . .and people, stop judging!

Novice1:
But it all boils down to one's character. You can be the most beautiful girl or most handsome guy, if you handle people like rubbish, they will treat you the same.

on paper dearie, reality is another thing altogether.