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since you call it arc, I guess when what a guy has in front comes to meet it it forms an arrow. so there it goes an arc and an arrow



hahahaahahahhahahahahah,

On a very good rag day morning, students were in their usual attires doing their rag day when suddenly a mad man ran into a luxury bus garage and went and hid under a parked luxury bus.


The men in the garage started shouting at the mad man to chase him out , the mad man refused,staying where he was, after much shouting and chasing the mad man finally said "please, leave me for a minute can't you see that our union members are coming.

A boy once asked his teacher where the men of Israel where all through the bible because from the time they started teaching him the bible till that very

time all the exploits, hard works and achievements were been done by the children of Israel and not the men of Israel.

A boy saw a girl and walked up to her to talk to her, instead of going straight to the point he began, I hope you know my father, Chief Ogbu,the owner of (He called his father's company), the senatorial aspirant for his district. I am his first son and I would like you to be my girl.

To his amazement, the girl replied "I think I am in love with your father.

soyabean oil is the best any day, anytime, anywhere no cholesterol filled with the essential vitamins and plant proteins,

Palm oil(natural) in as much as we have gotten the industrial palm oil, the natural  one is no match to any form of oil, when it is cooked in it's natural form and not when the nutritive contents have been bleached,

I'm sorry to start this way but I have no apologies for it.

90% of people that gave their reply to this topic are nothing but grown men locked in childhood mentality. How can you take a topic as serious as this to show how degenerate and immoral the Nigerian system have made you.

Better look,read and learn than expose your foolishness and stupidity,

Back to the issue of the day,

In as much as everyone's lifestyle, character and attitude differs, I think that what every women want from any man is that sense of SECURITY. Wherein you have to secure her against so many fears going on in her mind.

which goes in this manner,

she needs,

Physical security

Spiritual security

Emotional security

Psychological security

and whatever kind of security you can construct in your mind,

That's all they need,

No one can make you laugh quite the way your friends can, and there's nothing like sharing a few funny friendship quotes with those closest to you to make your day shine a bit brighter.

Here are 18 of my favorite funny friendship quotes to share with those you love. I hope you enjoy these funny friendship quotes as much as I like sharing them with you!

1. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

2. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." ~ Benjamin Franklin

3. "Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy." ~ Spike Milligan

4. "A true friend stabs you in the front." ~ Oscar Wilde

5. "Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police." ~ Anonymous

6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." ~ Jim Hayes

7. "Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods." ~ Esther M. Clark

8. "Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice." ~ Anonymous

9. "I have lost friends, some by dath, others through sheer inability to cross the street." ~ Virginia Woolf

10. "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." ~ Thomas Jones

11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" ~ Archie Bunker

12. "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." ~ John Leonard

13. "We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." ~ Benjamin Franklin

14. "Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families." ~ Anonymous

15. "Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected." ~ Charles Lamb

16. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ~ Winnie the Pooh

17 "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." ~ Mark Twain

18. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

As you can see, funny friendship quotes are a great way to remember what makes our friendships so special and our friends so dear. Share a few of these funny friendship quotes with the friends who make your life a brighter and your days a delight.

First off, regardless of what your heart tells you or how your mind forces you to think, DO NOT obsess with a guy you can never have. There are so many more fish in the sea, so many more guys you can love who actually deserve your love. Do not ever hurt yourself for some guy who will never learn to appreciate you. The signs are the following:

If you are his candidate for a Booty Call and then he doesn't know you during the day.

If he uses you.

If he abuses you.

If he hurts you. For instance, he calls you Fat. He doesn't tease you playfully, he downright treats you like garbage.

If he talks behind your back about you. If he starts rumours about you,

Understand this, guys can really be evil sometimes. Move on if you answered yes to any of the above.

Now that we've got that out of the way, here comes the juicy part. How can you tell if a guy likes you? You like him. You feel it in the gut he likes you back. But you need some substantial proof. I will not go into the types of guys out there, because in the end, there will always be a group of guys who have no niche to fall into. These tips are not foolproof, since human nature is always fickle. So, I suggest you read this and use it as a reference and not your bible.

Strategy ONE

Ask him. He says he likes you. Case closed. You are done. But, fearing rejection, can you even do that? If only things were so simple. I'll tell you this. Just ask him. This will save you a lot of time. If he says no, then you can understand that he doesn't and may not even after knowing you for a bit of time. Therefore, it will be him who regrets later on when he falls for you in return, granted you guys will hang out and stuff, Maybe not, since if he does reject you, it will be too embarassing, So what you can do is this,

"Do you like me?"

"No."

"I knew it! I don't like you either." Haha!

"Do you like me?"

"Yes, as a friend."

"Me too. I was worried because I thought you didn't like me as a friend, " Saved!

If he says he likes you in a way that he likes you likes you and not as friend, then you've just scored yourself your dream guy.

Signs that he likes you
He blushes and sweats. You intimidate him.

He stares at you. (He can be a stalker, beware)

He does things to deliberately gain your attention.

He stutters when he speaks to you.

His pupils dilate when you are up close and you see them, Beware, pupils dilate when it is dim, mostly.

He waits for you. He looks out for you.

He laughs at your jokes when no one else does.

He teases you because he wants you to remember and notice him.

He listens to you and actually remembers little details.

He notices slight changes in your appearance.

He seems sad when you ignore him.

He seems jealous when you are with another guy. Whoo.

His friends all know you when you don't know them.

He smiles back when you smile at him.

He often stares at you and when you catch him, he does that cute head turn, very fast!

He performs sweet acts for you. He defends and protects you. He tolerates you being mean to him.

Signs that he is a player

He is a smooth talker. He is very comfortable around you.

He places his hands on you with ease.

Every other girl likes him.

Just be careful.

There are many more signs, but anyway, just go with your heart, take care of yourself, and let things happen naturally. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are very much in
love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never
achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they
decide to ask the rabbi.
The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the
following suggestion.
"Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have
the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and
should bring on an orgasm."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man
and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and
she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make
love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets into bed
with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work
with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking
screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
"You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!"

A Hot young man went to a brothel, The lady at the counter asked him
what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available.
Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models, they are all slinky
and sexy, On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses, they are all
buxom and beautiful, On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers,
they, "
Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."
Madam, "Are you sure, I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to
ex-models and ex-actresses."
Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and
over again, until you're perfect at it."

An army private went to see the Medical Captain for a new pair
of glasses. The Captain looked in his book of record and said,
"But you just got a new pair last month!"
"Yes sir, b, b, but I got them b, broken in an accident,"
stammered the private.
"Accident, what kind of an accident?" The Captain looked in his
book of Accident definitions and glossaries, "Road-march
accident, Firing Range accident, PT accident, Drill accident?"
"No, no nothing of those, " said the private.
"Well then, what is it?"
"I'd rather not tell you sir, "
"Well, no satisfactory explanations, no new glasses," said the
medical officer, ready to stand up, "I've to see my patients
now."
"No, no sir wait, I broke them when I was kissing my girl,"
blurted the private.
"Don't be daft man, how could you break your glasses kissing
a girl?"
"You see, she crossed her legs, "

In a Primary school class, a boy who does not know anything suddenly noticed that whenever questions were asked, every student would raise up their hand to answer the question. Since he does not know the answer they would ask him and if he fails it he would be flogged.

Suddenly, the boy developed the strategy of joining others in raising up their hands. The strategy worked for him for quite some time.

Then one day, the teacher asked for who would spell PLANTAIN for the class, as usual the boy raised up his hand only to find out that every other hand in the class wasn't raised.

The teacher then called him to spell plantain for the class, the boy confused and not knowing what else to do asked the teacher if the plaintain he asked him to spell is the Riped or the unriped one

One day a madam of the house got her pant missing.

She called her two house helps, a boy and a girl, to know how her pant got missing.

She asked the boy, the boy answered that he does not wear woman’s pant so he does not know the whereabouts of the pant.

She asked the female house help, she immediately answered, Madam, I no dey wear pant OH!!!

Ask Oga, ur husband, he is my witness……….

The woman come dey confused, still imagining how her husband come know say the house girl no dey wear pants…….

On a Sunday's church service which is also a Mothering sunday, the pastor climbed the altar and began his words which went thus; Every man here

present, to show how much you love your wife you need to give an offering to show gratitude to God for how beutiful your wife is. The pastor went as

far as saying that, if the money you have with you is not enough to show how grateful you are to God for your wife cheques are allowed.

The offering began and the pastor went over the offering box and was looking into it so that his present would make the men not act or give something funny.

One man walked up to the offering basket and put in #20(twenty Naira) set to go back to his chair the pastor callled him and asked him, so of the beautiful wife the lord God has given to you #20 is its worth.

The man answered, pastor look if you see the condition of my Wife, you would even beg me to come back for a balance on that #20 or even beg me to collect my money,

A boy was being asked, amongst his mom and dad who he loves the most and the reason for his answer.

The boy answered thus, I love my Mom, she is brave because whenever my Dad locks her up in his bedroom and beats her up, she screams to the high

heavens but when she comes out immediately after, she is smiling,laughing again with dad and not even a drop of tears would be seen on her eyes.

Finally, my mom is so brave,

A teacher gave her students an assignment to draw whatever that think would be asy for them to draw.

One of the students went home played football all through and forgot his assignment. Then one the following day when the teacher asked them to pass

their assignments the boy kept his cool and never tried doing anything, when the teacher decided to go round and collect it one after another, the boy

just gave the teacher an empty assignment paper.

When the teacher started marking the papers and found the boy's paper to be blank and called him to find out why and punish him,

The boy explained,

Aunty, I drew a goat in the field chewing grass. Maybe the goat has finished the grass I drew for it and has gone to another field in search for grass

The was teacher astonished and disappointed not knowing what elso to do,

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